


Wild With All Regrets

by Cithara



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-05-08 07:39:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 121,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14689527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cithara/pseuds/Cithara
Summary: 2 years after the final battle, Severus languishes in Azkaban with little hope of gaining his freedom. The Ministry finally relents to holding a long-overdue trial on one condition only - that Severus is released to Harry's custody during the interim parole. Severus and the wizarding world have changed in the intervening years, and Severus must learn to reconcile himself to both, whilst coming to understand the men he and Harry now are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all, this fic is canon-compliant up until the end of Book 7, and picks up 2 years after the events of the final battle. Obviously, it disregards the epilogue entirely...just like most of us Snarry fans. I plan to update this every week or so, depending on how quickly I manage to get the chapters written. I hope you enjoy this first one.

Chapter 1

It had been the greatest shock of Severus' life to find that he had survived not only the war, but the attack from Nagini too. It was probably only because he had been thrown in a cell in Azkaban almost immediately after and hadn't had the time to properly process the whole thing that the shock itself hadn't killed him.

He had languished there for two years and had spent every single day praying for death, hoping that the wound in his neck, which had never really healed properly, would finally finish him off. He had thought he had known desperation and despair, but it was nothing compared to the time he spent rotting away in the hellish confines of his cell. He had nothing but his guilt over Albus' death to occupy his endless thoughts, nothing but the constant drag of days to build bitter resentment and an unassailable feeling that if there was a hell, he was in it.

He had fully intended to die there, to let the last vestiges of hope and his will to live simply seep from his body, but fate, it seemed had other ideas. Well, perhaps 'fate' was a rather grandiose title to give to Harry Potter, but it was one of the more generous ones that Severus had attributed to the boy over the years.

The first he heard about Harry's dogmatic attempts to get him acquitted came when a solicitor Harry had employed came to visit him and informed him that, in fact, Harry had been working tirelessly ever since he'd been imprisoned two years prior and, one rainy afternoon in August, had finally made something of a breakthrough.

'Breakthrough' had been the term the solicitor had used, 'total loss of sanity' had been Severus'. It transpired that the Ministry, in their usual short-sighted approach to matters, had believed that Harry would eventually let the matter drop if they dug their heels in enough. They hadn't banked on Harry's sheer bloody-mindedness and refusal to back down and so, in a fit of what Severus was sure had been pique, they had finally said that they would hold a trial and would release Severus from Azkaban while they waited for a date. There was, however, a catch.

With no small amount of spite and, Severus was sure, in the hopes that their terms would make Harry give up and leave Severus where he was, the Ministry had agreed to let Severus out under one condition only – that he was released to Harry's guardianship, and his alone. Severus had been of the same mind as the Ministry, and had fully expected Harry to refuse point blank, but, perhaps unsurprisingly, the boy had accepted the lunatic stipulation.

So it was that he was standing in the laughingly termed 'reception' in Azkaban, waiting for his Ministry escort to take him Merlin-knew-where. He hadn't been able to process the situation properly, and part of him was still deeply in shock that he was finally going to leave the foul place that, it wasn't too dramatic to say, had claimed a piece of his soul.

Two years in Azkaban had done damage to his mind and body in ways that he wasn't certain he would ever recover from. His health was poor; his wound, never having received proper attention apart from the initial action to ensure he would live, caused him pain almost every day, and the prison's enforced diet of watery porridge three times a day had seen what little weight he had drop from him.

He was a walking skeleton, dishevelled, filthy and utterly humiliated by the spectre he had become. Contrary to what others might have thought of him, hygiene had always been important to him, and to be robbed of the dignity of bathing and shaving had been something that had crushed him more and more the longer time went on.

A door slammed somewhere and moments later a man and a woman appeared in the reception, their robes indicating that they were Ministry employees. They approached the craggy man behind the desk, the woman casting a cursory glance at Severus, before she said,

"Is that him?"

"It's him alright," the guard replied. "Ready and waiting for you. Just sign this, and he's all yours."

He shoved a clipboard towards the woman and she accepted the offered quill, signing the top sheet of paper that was held in place then nodded at her colleague. The man stepped forward and placed a set of heavy manacles around Severus' wrists, looking up at him with a sneer and saying,

"Don't want you making a break for it now do we?"

As dubious as Severus was feeling about being released to Harry's stewardship, he had neither the magic nor the physical capacity to be making an escape of any kind. He had no choice but to let himself be taken to whatever fate awaited him.

The man and the woman flanked him and each took an elbow, and before he had time to prepare himself, he felt his world move sideways. His eyes closed themselves at the onslaught, and it was only when he smelt the alien scent of gloriously fresh air that he allowed them to open again. It had been so long since he'd seen daylight that the brightness sliced through his vision and made it blurry, and he squinted against the assault, just about able to make out the wonky stone house in front of him and the fact that it seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.

The man stepped forward and banged a heavy fist on the door and Severus hung his head to avoid having to look when the door opened. He was ashamed of the pale shadow he had become, and the thought of facing anyone he had once known, who had once known him, was utterly daunting.

He heard the old hinges creak open and his male custodian said, "Mr Potter, we have Snape here for you."

He still didn't look up, but he didn't need to to hear the surprising steel in Harry's voice when he said, "The man has two titles – Professor or Potions Master. Pick one and use it when speaking to or about him."

"I'm sorry Mr Potter, I – "

Harry apparently wasn't in the mood for apologies, nor for giving the Ministry officials any more of his attention than was necessary, and he cut the man off sharply, addressing Severus instead. "Come inside sir," he said softly, and Severus inclined his head slightly to see where he was going, stepping over the threshold and standing awkwardly in the porch a little way behind Harry.

"Mr Potter," said the woman, "there are several things that we need to – "

"I'm well aware of the procedure," Harry said firmly, and Severus found himself deeply uncomfortable to realise that the voice belonged to a man, with no trace of the boy he still held in his mind. "Everything will be done officially, have no fear," Harry continued. "My main concern at the moment is the Professor, so you can wait."

A wand was waved over the manacles on Severus' wrist and they disappeared as though they had been made of nothing more than smoke. Harry moved a little closer and still Severus kept his gaze pointed towards the floor as the man said, "Everything is ready for you upstairs. Your bedroom is the second on the left and you have your own bathroom attached. There are toiletries and clothing for you, please use whatever you need."

The idea of being allowed to bathe was overwhelming and Severus' feet moved towards the stairs of their own volition. He ascended them slowly, his body aching, the shock of being out of Azkaban for the first time in two years more than he could fully contend with. He heard his escorts move into the house, Harry continuing to speak to them in the same firm tones that seemed to brook no argument.

He moved to his assigned bedroom and stood in the doorway for a moment, trying to take it all in. The building was old, all bowed walls and crooked windows, and the bedroom itself was lovely. A small voice in the back of Severus' mind offered that anything would have seemed lovely after his hellish cell, but it truly was.

There was a large double bed, an antique-looking wardrobe with a matching chest of drawers beside it, a writing desk with a sturdy chair underneath it, and a modest fireplace in front of which was a comfortable-looking armchair. A large window let in a decent amount of light and Severus could just about see the view from where he was standing. He had been right; they were in the middle of nowhere. All he could see were rolling hills, old stone walls and a dense, thick forest off in the distance.

He moved into the room a little further and saw that there was a large pile of clothes on the bed, accompanied by a washbag, which, upon inspection, contained a shaving kit, nail clippers, a small pair of scissors, a comb, a toothbrush and toothpaste, soap and shampoo. He could have cried. He clutched the bag to his chest and closed his eyes tightly against the sudden rush of feelings at having this dignity returned to him, of being granted this small measure, the loss of which had robbed him of his humanity.

There was a piece of parchment on top the pile of clothes and Severus placed the wash bag aside with a shaking hand before picking it up, recognising Harry's handwriting.

_Professor,_

_This room is yours for as long as you stay with me, we can alter it to better suit your tastes and needs after you've settled in. The clothes are charmed to fit the wearer, I hope the selection meets with your approval._

_The Ministry Stasi_ (here Severus couldn't help but feel a small glint of amusement) _will unfortunately be with us for an hour or so, so please take your time to settle in and I will do my best to get rid of them by the time you come down._

There was a slight blot on the parchment, as though the quill had been held there a little too long, possibly in consideration of what was to be written next.

_I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I know what you think of me, but please believe that I want nothing more than to help, to make this situation right. I will endeavour to make your stay here as bearable as possible._

_Harry_

Severus stared down at the parchment, finding it hard to process Harry's words. Surely the man realised that being given over to the reincarnation of Voldemort's spirit would have been preferable to another second spent rotting in his prison cell? The thought alone of being allowed the simple dispensation of bathing was enough to render the situation infinitely more than 'bearable'.

Still, Harry had no reason to suppose that Severus' opinion of him was any different to that that he had projected for all those years, one that he had fostered and allowed to grow both for the boy's protection and his own. He had almost believed it himself as the years went on, indeed at times he was sure he had felt hatred and resentment towards Harry, but now…now those feelings had simply evaporated.

It hadn't stopped him from wondering, unfairly perhaps, whether Harry would crow over the circumstances, would hold his dignity to ransom in order to remind him that, but for him, he would have been left to his fetid fate in Azkaban. The tone of Harry's voice merely minutes before when addressing the Ministry employee had banished those rather ungenerous thoughts. He supposed he should have known, whatever faults Harry might have had, a love of gloating wasn't one of them.

He grabbed the wash bag and moved into the bathroom, feeling overwhelmed at the sight of the glass shower cubicle in the corner, modest bathtub, toilet and pedestal sink. He had had no such luxuries for two years; the only facility that Azkaban boasted was a shared toilet and tap that dripped fetid water.

He moved over to the sink and removed the shaving kit and scissors from the wash bag, then, with a feeling of deep foreboding, forced himself to look up and face his reflection. He'd been expecting it to be bad, but what he was confronted with was far worse. His black hair was matted and hung limply down to his chest, his skin was paper thin and stretched over his pinched, painfully thin face, and dull, bloodshot eyes stared out of hollow sockets.

He was so stunned that for a few moments all he could do was stare back at his wraith-like self, horrified by the reality of what he had become, of the sub-human his incarceration had turned him into. He reached for the scissors and, without giving it too much thought, began to chop through the black clumps of hair, hacking it off until it hung just below his ears. He then chopped the scraggly black and grey beard back until it was barely an inch long, then lathered his face with shaving cream.

It was the most satisfying feeling he had had in years as he pressed the straight razor to his skin and began to scrape away the facial hair that he had always detested. He shaved slowly and carefully, aware that he had no magic with which to heal himself if he sliced through his skin. It had been so long since his skin had been free from the nasty, unkempt beard, and as he rinsed the last of the cream from his face, he was relieved to find that he recognised the man staring back at him from the mirror a little more than before.

The nail clippers were next, and he cut his browned, talon-like nails back to the short, neat nails he had always favoured, feeling himself become more human with each simple ministration. He peeled his filthy prison robe from his body, fully intending to burn it at the earliest opportunity, and chucked it aside before he stepped into the shower cubicle, taking the large bar of soap, the comb and shampoo with him.

At a later date he would most certainly be using the bathtub for a longed-for soak, but the thought of sitting in the filth from his own body wasn't appealing at that point. He needed to scrub himself raw, to obliterate the evidence of two years' worth of being made to live like an animal.

He wrenched the water on, and it was hot in seconds, pounding down on his skin in a way that Severus could almost dimly remember. He wetted the soap and began an intense and meticulous cleaning process, lathering every inch of his skin. It took several rinses and re-applications to remove the many layers of grime from his body, and eventually he began to see the pale, pink-tinged hue of his own skin beneath. He tried to focus on cleaning, not on how painfully thin he was, how his ribs and hipbones jutted out, how a stiff breeze would have knocked him on his exceptionally bony arse.

When his body had been attended to, he poured a huge amount of shampoo into his hands and massaged it through his matted hair. He pulled the comb through it, immensely thankful that it seemed to be sturdy, and spent a good twenty minutes brushing out the knots and dirt before washing it all out, then shampooing and rinsing several more times.

It felt wonderful, and watching all the muck disappear down the swirling plughole was more satisfying than he would have believed. He felt as though a fraction of his dignity had been restored to him, and although he wasn't sure if he would ever resemble the man he once was, this measure, which would be so small to some, had gone a long way to helping.

He turned the water off and stepped out onto the bathmat, grabbing a fluffy towel and gently dabbing himself dry. He was gratified to note that the towel came away from his skin as white as it had been originally, and he tied it around his waist as he moved back to the mirror. He wiped the condensation away and was fractionally better pleased with what he saw looking back at him.

He brushed his teeth five times, combed his damp hair again, then moved back out into the bedroom to inspect the clothes. They were mostly muggle, although there was a set of plain black robes included in the offering as well. He decided on a pair of soft black trousers and a grey jumper, which did indeed alter themselves to fit him the second he put them on. He had never been a big man, but the utter lack of meat on his bones was depressing.

Part of him wanted to hide upstairs forever, to lock the bedroom door and pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist, but he reluctantly felt that he owed it to Harry to show his face. He padded softly back out onto the landing and paused at the top of the stairs, listening to see if the Ministry officials were still there. He could hear Harry talking to someone, but as he listened, he realised it was Ron Weasley's voice he could hear.

"Don't let it wind you up mate, you know what these Ministry twats are like, and Collins is one of the worst. How badly did you threaten them?"

Severus heard Harry sigh before saying, "I might have played the 'Slayer of Voldemort' card, they got a little shifty after that."

Ron snorted and said, "I bet they did." There was a pause, then he asked, "How's Professor Snape?"

Severus was surprised to hear the man give him his title and to be spoken of with such civility. He knew that Harry's opinion of him was different to that of his schooldays, but he hadn't expected other people's to be.

"I don't know. We didn't get a chance to speak. I just wanted to get him out of the way of those pricks as quickly as possible, to give him some privacy, give him a chance to collect himself. They didn't seem to realise that he's a human being, they treated him as though they were delivering a piece of meat."

"That should be no surprise to you mate, you know what that department's like. The trouble I've had with them over Drake has been unbelievable."

Severus frowned, wondering if Ron could possibly be referring to Draco. It was unlikely, surely? Deciding that he couldn't hover on the landing indefinitely, he took a deep breath and steeled himself for whatever awaited him. He walked slowly down the stairs and found himself in a living room that was as charming as his bedroom, and in the middle of which stood Ron and Harry, arms folded, talking seriously.

They turned to face him and Severus couldn't tell who was more surprised by the appearance of each man in the room. It had only been two years, but both Ron and Harry seemed to have shed any last vestiges of boyhood that might have lingered, and two young men were now facing him. Ron, he imagined was probably shocked by his haggard appearance, but Harry looked as though he was pleased to see that Severus was somewhat altered from the bedraggled creature who had gone up the stairs.

"Professor," said Harry, moving forward to shake his hand. "Did you find everything ok?"

"Yes, thank you," Severus said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears. He had had little enough reason to use it apart from the couple of meetings he'd had with Harry's representative.

"Please, come and sit down," said Harry, directing Severus to the sofa in front of the fire.

"Hello sir," said Ron, shaking his hand also as he moved to sit down.

"Mr Weasley," Severus said with a polite nod.

Harry and Ron settled themselves in the armchairs that were placed either end of the sofa, and Harry ran a hand through his messy hair before saying, "I know this must all be overwhelming, there are so many things that we need to tell you about, but I think it's best to just let you get settled before we get into anything."

Severus nodded, happy to go along with that for the time being, and Ron picked up the conversation, saying, "With your approval, we've arranged for a Healer to come and see you tomorrow. We're aware of how badly your health must have suffered, and we'd like someone to take a proper look at your wound."

Ron was more adult than Severus could remember him being. He carried himself with confidence and his voice had a low, pleasant timbre to it. His hair was a little longer than it had been before and curled slightly around his ears. He gave off the air of a man comfortable in his skin, his sharp blue eyes serious and intelligent.

"That's fine with me," Severus replied, privately relieved to learn that he was to see a doctor. He was concerned about his health, knowing that it had deteriorated greatly during his time in Azkaban.

"Hermione and I will be along in a day or two to talk you through what's going to happen next," Ron continued, "and if you have any questions at any point, please ask. For now though, we really hope that you're able to use this time to recover. We know it won't be easy," he said softly, and Severus was rather bewildered that the man had managed to convey sympathy without making him feel pitied.

"Where am I exactly?" he asked, the small glimpse of scenery he had spied through the bedroom window not having given him much of a clue.

"The edge of Dartmoor," Harry replied. "The southwest edge to be precise."

"This is your home?" Severus asked, and Harry nodded.

"I bought it a little over a year ago. It was a muggle place originally, so it's decked out with electricity and a few muggle appliances. Hopefully that will make life a little easier for you while your magic's still on lockdown. Believe me, we're working on it."

Severus frowned and looked from Harry to Ron before saying, "You both speak as though this is a procedure you've gone through before."

Ron and Harry exchanged a glance and Harry gave a resigned nod, saying, "We have. Things in the wizarding world are…very different, most would argue that they've changed for the worse. I'll explain it all properly when you've found your feet here, but Ron, Hermione and I have…made it our business to become involved in these matters of justice."

"Justice," Ron scoffed. "Rather the complete lack thereof. We've been fighting the Ministry every step of the way, and we're going to carry on doing so."

Severus was surprised by the passion in the man's voice, and as solicitous as Ron was being with him, something told him that it wasn't solely there on his behalf. He said nothing, but filed the thought away to be investigated at a later date.

Ron sighed and said, "I should be on my way, I said I'd only be gone for half an hour or so. I'll be back the day after tomorrow."

"I'll see you out," said Harry and Severus went to stand, only to be ushered back down as Harry said, "No, no, you stay there, let yourself get used to a bit of comfort again."

Harry and Ron removed themselves from the living room and Severus heard them carry on a softly-spoken conversation in the porch, but he didn't trouble himself trying to listen to it. He was still feeling rather shell-shocked at being in a place with plumbing and furniture, a place that smelt of furniture polish and sandalwood where he could hear the gentle song of a thrush somewhere in the distance.

He flexed his fingers along the fabric of the sofa he was sitting on. It was nothing particularly special, but it felt like the finest silk to Severus' raw, calloused fingers and the simple fact that he was sitting on a sofa rather than on his filthy, cold palette, the only piece of 'furniture' in his cell, was something of a revelation in itself.

He looked around the living room, taking in the comfy-looking armchairs, walnut coffee table, muggle television and two large, heavily-laden bookcases. In his life he had seen many more opulent and luxurious settings than this, but none of them had ever made him feel so elated. The thought of being able to sit on a sofa and read a book felt like the most decadent activity he had ever dreamt up, and he realised, in that moment, that something in him had altered forever.

Harry came back into the living room and sat back down in the armchair, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He sighed and then said softly, "I can't imagine what this must be like for you. I hope you know that…whatever might have existed between us before, whatever grievances or grudges, for my part…I consider them to be in the past."

Severus had had ample time throughout his incarceration to consider his feelings where Harry was concerned. They were complicated, there was no denying that, but whatever acrimony and bitterness he might have once felt seemed now pointless and, he had to admit, rather pathetic. He was also acutely aware that, were it not for Harry and his willingness to not only fight the system but also to open up his home as a refuge, he would still be rotting to death in Azkaban. Even he, with his limited capacity for gratitude and appreciation, would have been unable to continue to hold rancour towards the man.

"I would also prefer to see old bones laid to rest," he said eventually, and Harry seemed relieved to hear it.

He nodded, as if to confirm things silently to himself, then pushed his glasses a little further up his nose and said, "I know it'll probably take some time to adjust, but while you're here please treat this place like your own. The kitchen's through the door on the right and there's a little library just off from the corridor. We've also managed to get them to agree to a restrictive ward of a 30-mile radius, so you're free to come and go from the house as you see fit within those parameters."

Severus blinked at him in surprise for a moment before saying, "I'm not under house arrest?"

The wry smile that Harry gave him was one that he had never seen on the man's face before, and Harry said, "Ron can wield remarkable influence when he wants to."

"Mr Weasley was responsible?" Severus asked with a frown.

Harry nodded. "I wasn't kidding when I said things had changed." He braced his hands on his thighs and said, "Would you like some tea?"

After drinking putrid water for two years, tea sounded like an offer of manna from heaven and he nodded mutely. Harry rose to his feet and moved off through the door he had indicated earlier into the kitchen and Severus heard the kettle being filled, followed by the clinking of china. Curious to see the kitchen, he stood up and moved to the doorway, hovering on the threshold as he watched Harry set about making the tea.

The kitchen was much like the rest of the house, slightly wonky with bowed walls and exposed beams. The work surfaces were dark wood and the cupboards were a slightly olive-green, with an imposing fridge wedged in the corner. There was a small table and chairs in the centre of the room and Harry looked up from his task and indicated for Severus to take a seat before he filled the teapot and levitated the cups, milk and sugar over to the table. He brought the teapot over and sat down next to Severus, filling both cups with tea and indicating for him to alter his own as necessary.

Severus had always drunk tea black in the past, but the idea of doing so now turned his stomach. He felt the need to taste sweetness again and so added a splash of milk and a healthy spoonful of sugar before lifting the cup to his lips and savouring the smell. He took a measured sip and was overwhelmed by the alien sense of heat and flavour, before letting it slide down his throat. He couldn't stop himself from smiling slightly, feeling as though the small action that so many would take for granted was one of the most delightful things he had experienced.

"We'll have to be careful," Harry said, stirring his own tea thoughtfully, "with what you eat. Eating watery porridge for two years won't have done you any favours and your system will take time to adjust. Maggie, the Healer, will recommend a proper course of nutrition for you when she sees you tomorrow, she's well-versed in dealing with cases like this. We've used her many times."

"How many times exactly?" Severus asked, curious to know what exactly had been happening in the world during his imprisonment and how Harry had come to be involved in it.

Harry wrapped his fingers around the cup in front of him looked down at it, chewing his bottom lip slightly before saying, "At last count, we'd managed twenty-one cases."

"Twenty-one?" Severus repeated, astounded. "You've freed twenty-one people from Azkaban?"

Harry looked up and met his eyes, his own sombre and serious. "After the war…the climate was…well to say people were paranoid wouldn't be too dramatic. The Ministry was facing a serious backlash from the public and was being heavily criticised for the way it had handled things and its lack of involvement in bringing down Voldemort. So, it did what it always does – it reacted."

"How?" Severus asked, and something in Harry's face told him that he wouldn't like the answer.

Harry paused and scratched at the slight shadow of stubble on his chin before saying softly, "They rounded up every living Slytherin and placed them in Azkaban."

"You're joking," Severus said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Harry shook his head and said, "Some were guilty, that's undeniable, but many were innocent, some had even fought at the Battle of Hogwarts and yet there they were, thrown into a cell and branded as traitors. Most weren't even granted a trial, just as you weren't, and so we set about trying to overturn things, trying to make things right."

"Just you, Mr Weasley and Ms Granger?"

"That was how it started," Harry said with a crooked sort of smile, "but now…well it's fair to say that we manage something of a full-scale operation."

Severus paused for a moment, allowing all the information to penetrate his thoughts, shocked and deeply troubled by what he had heard.

"There's more, isn't there?" he said eventually. "More I don't know?"

"Yes," Harry said softly, "but there'll be time for all that later."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"To let that go untreated for two years is criminal, simply criminal!" Maggie said in between a bout of tutting as she examined the wound on Severus' throat. "How you're still alive is wonder."

Maggie's bedside manner left rather a lot to be desired, but she was efficient, practical and an incredibly skilled Healer. It hadn't taken long for Severus to decide that he rather liked her, and it was clear, as their session went on, that she had seen many a case like his and was used to treating those who had sampled the hospitalities of Azkaban.

"Right, button your shirt back up and we'll have a quick chat," Maggie said, and Severus did as instructed while she moved into the bathroom and gave her hands a quick wash.

He perched on the edge of his bed and Maggie came back to stand in front of him, picking up her notes and making a few quick scribbles. "Well, it won't come as a great surprise to you to learn that you're not in good health," she said, and Severus shook his head. "You're malnourished, suffering from vitamin deficiency and you're showing signs of slight muscle atrophy. Your immune system has taken a hell of a battering and I'm not thrilled about the state of your kidneys."

"Well, here I was thinking that I was a dried up old prune, but thankfully you've dissuaded me of that notion," he said, rolling his eyes and provoking a grin from Maggie.

"Best to be direct Professor, no point beating around the bush. Now, it's true that things are bad, but it's nothing I can't sort out. The sooner we get you on a course of treatment, the better."

She placed her notes on the bed then moved to her medical bag, producing a shrunken cabinet from it then placing it next to the bed before re-sizing it. She perused the shelves for a minute or two, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she did so. She selected vials and lay them out on the bed, indicating each one as she said,

"Standard nutrition potion, iron replenishing potion, immune balancing potion and a potion that acts as a sort of dialysis. Oh but look at who I'm telling this to," she said with a tap to Severus' shoulder. "As if you need me to tell you what these are, you could prescribe your own I daresay."

"Indeed. Who brewed these?" he asked, picking up one of the vials and raising it to the light.

"A contact of mine, I refuse to use the Ministry-approved brewers so it's…a little hush-hush shall we say? Don't worry, the quality is beyond reproach, I assure you."

"Looks decent enough," Severus said, giving the vial a quick shake and watching the fall of the droplets down the side of the bottle. He felt a sudden pang at the thought of how long it had been since he'd had the pleasure of brewing and wondered if he would ever be allowed to do so again.

"One last thing," Maggie added, reaching into her robes, pulling out a small tube and handing it to him. "My own remedy, a topical solution for your skin. A lot of the damage will be repaired once you're on a proper diet and we address the vitamin deficiency, but this will help it along."

Severus undid the lid and gave it a cursory sniff. He was not a vain man, with the card that fate had dealt him in the looks department it was a bloody good thing too, but the state of his skin was an embarrassment. It was horribly dry, had less colour than it had ever had, and several places were plagued by sores. He was in a terrible state, there was no denying it, but Maggie's assured and confident examination had made him feel that perhaps he wasn't beyond repair.

"Now, I'll leave a copy of your eating programme with you and give the other to Harry. He's well-acquainted with how this works but each diet is tailored to the patient and he'll be doing the bulk of the cooking," she said with a bright smile.

"You…do a lot of work with him?" Severus asked, and Maggie's smile turned a little more knowing.

"We were put in touch a couple of years back when all this started. We work well together."

Severus was too discreet to question that remark, but he had to wonder. Maggie was perhaps ten years older than Harry, but she was an undeniably attractive woman, and he wouldn't have been surprised if the man had an interest in her. Severus had seen no sign that the Weasley girl was still in Harry's life and he had made no mention of her, making it quite clear that he lived in the house alone.

"I'll leave you to it then, Professor, I just have to go and have a word with Harry. Do I have your permission to give him a copy of your case notes? He'll need them as part of the procedure."

"Yes he can have them," said Severus with a sigh. "The man's not an idiot, he has the evidence of his own eyes to see I'm hardly the picture of health."

Maggie grinned. "You have no idea how thrilled he'll be to hear you say he's not an idiot. I'll bet it's the best compliment he's ever had."

Severus snorted and said, "The darling of the wizarding world? I rather think not."

"I forget how long you've been away from the world," she said softly, packing her things away. "You'll find that things for Harry have changed a fair bit."

"What do you mean?" he asked with a frown.

"You'll have to ask him yourself," she said, giving him one last smile before she left the bedroom.

Severus sighed and stretched his fingers out over the vials she had left on the bed. So many potions, and all to ensure that eventually he might vaguely resemble the man he had once been. He had to admit that after a hot meal and an incredible night's sleep he was feeling more human than he had done in a long time. He would never again underestimate the power of food and rest.

Harry had made a simple vegetable stew and had been careful not to overdo it with richness or flavour, knowing that his system wouldn't be able to handle anything too strong. It had been packed full of goodness and nutrition and with each mouthful Severus sent up a silent prayer of thanks that he was in the position to be enjoying something so fulfilling.

He had slept better than he imagined he would, falling into a deep sleep almost as soon as his head had hit the pillow. The revelation of sleeping in a bed, on a mattress with a warm duvet on top of him had been utter bliss. He had woken disorientated and a little confused, but as soon as he had broken through the stupor of sleep he had felt an immense sense of relief that he hadn't dreamt the previous twenty-four hours.

He gathered up the potions vials and placed them on his bedside table feeling resigned but grateful nevertheless that his health was finally going to get the attention it had needed for so long. He didn't like to think how far beyond saving it would have been if he'd have stayed in Azkaban for much longer.

He made his way downstairs and found that Harry was just getting around to showing Maggie out. He took a seat on the sofa and picked up the local muggle newspaper that Harry had left on the coffee table, feeling a small smile tug at his lips at the simple pleasure.

"You're sure you're happy with the healing protocol?" asked Maggie as she shouldered herself into her cloak.

"Yes I think so," Harry replied, "I can always give you a shout if I get stuck."

"Oh yes? I suppose you think I've got no life outside of you eh?"

"It has been remarked upon," Harry said with a grin.

"Careful you don't get stuck in the doorway with that fat head of yours! Right, I'm off, I promised Ron I'd stop by his and check in with Draco. I'll be seeing you."

Harry followed Maggie out into the porch while Severus considered that that was the second indicator he had heard that Draco lived with Ron. He'd been told things were different, but that seemed to be pushing the bounds of reality somewhat. Still, there he was living with Harry Potter, stranger things had happened.

Harry re-entered the room, a thoughtful look on his face as he glanced through the notes Maggie had left. He meandered around the furniture with ease, as though used to having his attention taken up with more important things than navigating his way past bruised shins. He sank into one of the armchairs and flipped one page over the next, then ran his tongue along his bottom lip before drawing it into his mouth and holding it in place with his teeth.

Severus hadn't realised he was watching until his body began to react. To find that his body was still capable of such a reaction was surprise enough, but to find that it was reacting to the man that, at the very best, he had thought he was indifferent to was almost enough to provoke him to laugh out loud. He mentally shook himself and averted his eyes back to the newspaper, sternly reminding himself that it had been a very long time and anyone might look marginally appealing in the right light.

"Maggie has you on quite an intensive course of treatment I see," Harry said, glancing up from the notes. "It will be a slow process, but it'll start paying dividends soon. I hope you don't mind, but a portion of the healing will be down to me."

"Oh?" asked Severus, thankful that his body had released him from the sudden grip of arousal that had given him such a shock.

Harry lay the notes down on the coffee table and said, "Your wound needs daily attention and Maggie can't be here all the time. It's quite an involving healing spell that we'll be using, it'll take around twenty minutes each day."

"And when did you qualify as a Healer?" Severus asked with an arched eyebrow, earning a wry smile in response.

"What's that quote about necessity being the mother of invention? All Healers are currently monitored by the Ministry, making the ones we trust something of a premium commodity."

"Meaning only Maggie I presume?"

Harry nodded. "Got it in one. I'm not saying that I'm ready to take up a post at St Mungo's or anything, but Maggie's trained me pretty well and I'm good at the things I need to be good at. Don't worry, you're in safe hands."

There had been many times throughout Severus' life that he was thankful he wasn't prone to blushing, and sitting opposite Harry as he made what should have been an innocent remark was added to those times. "Well that's a relief," he said, and Harry smiled in response. Really it was quite disconcerting; he had never been the recipient of a single smile from the man and over the course of twenty-four hours he had been on the receiving end of several.

"I'll get started on lunch," Harry said, getting to his feet. "Plain omelette alright with you?"

Severus nodded and Harry moved towards the kitchen, stopping in the doorway as Severus said, "There was something I meant to ask you."

"Oh?" Harry said, turning back around.

"It's none of my business of course, but…Draco…is he living with Mr Weasley?"

"Ah," said Harry, adjusting his glasses and scratching the bridge of his nose. "I was going to wait a little while to tell you, but I guess I haven't managed to be all that discreet. Yes, yes he is."

"Might I be permitted to know how on earth that came about?"

Harry tapped his fingers against his thigh for a moment before he said with muted sort of smile, "He was our first case."

"Draco was in Azkaban?" Severus asked, horrified.

"He was one of the first that they rounded up, before they decided that all Slytherins should be thrown in prison," Harry said sadly. "The circumstances are complicated and too laborious to go into now, but we finally got him released and there was nowhere for him to go – "

"Lucius and Narcissa were incarcerated too?" Severus asked.

Harry paused, clearly choosing his words carefully, before he said quietly, "No, they're both dead."

"Dead?" Severus echoed in surprise.

Harry sighed and moved to sit back down in the armchair opposite Severus. "They both went on the run immediately after the war ended. Draco elected to stay behind, to face the music I suppose. I don't know the details, but it seems that Lucius…became mentally unbalanced and when the aurors finally found them, he held Narcissa hostage and eventually dispatched both himself and her in a murder-suicide."

Severus paused for a moment, shocked at learning that two people he had known for so long, people perhaps for whom he didn't have the deepest feelings, but people that he shared a connection with nevertheless were dead. "So he went to live with Mr Weasley?"

"Not immediately. First he went to live at the Weasleys'." Severus' eyes widened in disbelief and Harry gave soft laugh, saying, "I know it sounds improbable, impossible even, but it happened. He was…very broken when he was freed and he needed to be cared for. Molly was still…so raw from losing Fred and looking after Draco gave her a purpose, something to channel all her energies into. They healed each other I think."

"And now?" Severus asked, not sure if he could cope with any more revelations about the world he had been released in to.

Harry's next smile was absent the tinge of sadness and he said, "Ron and Draco became close while he was living at the Burrow. Ron was living there too and they spent a lot of time together. He found a cottage not far from here and it just seemed logical to them that Draco would go with him."

"Are they…" Severus made a vague gesture with his hand and Harry grinned.

"They're both a little slow on the uptake. I'm hoping eventually they'll realise they're in love with one another and put each other out of their misery. For now though it's separate bedrooms and constant declarations that they're just friends."

"So Mr Weasley and Ms Granger?" Severus asked, wondering when he'd become interested in the love lives of his former students.

"Strictly platonic, thank Merlin. They tried it for about five seconds and realised that they were hideously incompatible. Hermione's not seeing anyone right now, I think she prefers it that way."

Severus knew that this was his chance to question Harry about the state of his own love life but as the seconds ticked on, he realised he clearly wasn't brave enough. Besides, what did it matter anyway? Whether Harry was unattached or not, it made no difference to his life.

Harry took the silence as his cue to return to making lunch and he made his way back into the kitchen. Severus picked up the newspaper again, though his mind was far too preoccupied to focus on the news that the local WI were holding a fundraiser for the church roof. He had much to mull over and he was doing his fervent best to ensure that Harry's bottom lip, held delicately between his teeth, was not foremost amongst those thoughts.

* * *

"We're anticipating that the trial will be scheduled for January or February," said Hermione as she sat across from Severus, a folder open on her knee, a muggle pen poised in her hand.

"So far away?" Severus asked, glancing over at Harry, who was standing in the doorway to kitchen, drying a teacup with a tea towel.

"It's not unusual," Harry said gently. "We were prepared for this."

Severus understood that that was Harry's way of telling him he was prepared to share his home for that length of time, but the idea that he would be such an imposition for nigh on five months made Severus uncomfortable.

"It'll work in our favour anyway, it gives us ample time to prepare our case. Mind you," Hermione added, glancing over her shoulder at Harry, "some people have been working on this case for nearly two years."

"I had time on my hands," he said with a funny sort of smile before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Severus knew that Harry had spent a great deal of time campaigning for his release but he didn't know the full extent of it. Knowing Harry as he did, he didn't imagine that the man had done anything by half-measures.

"We have a healthy list of people who've agreed to speak for you," Ron said, picking up where Hermione left off. "We need to start conducting interviews and begin prepping them in case they're called. A lot of this is going to depend on you though, Professor."

"Me?" asked Severus, reflecting yet again at how very grown up Ron appeared. It was the second time he had seen him since his release and he thought that it would take several more visits before he became used to thinking of Ron as an adult, and a competent one at that.

Ron tucked an errant red curl behind his ear and said in a carefully measured tone, "The things that will be addressed in court will be deeply personal and no one can make you speak about them. However, our best chance will be if you're as honest and as open as you can be, and I'm afraid that that isn't going to be easy for you."

Severus paused and looked down at his hands, wondering if Ron had always possessed such astuteness or if it had been acquired during his sudden propulsion into adulthood. Parading his private business before a court, indeed before anyone, was not a thought he relished, but his incarceration and subsequent stripping of all pride and dignity had led him to re-evaluate such things in the interim.

"I'll do what's necessary," he said quietly, and Ron nodded with a smile.

"There's plenty of time to prepare what you want to say, and we have a good legal team who are very adept at crafting testimonies," Hermione said. "Someone will be out to see you in a few weeks to start that process, but, as Ron says, it's not going to be easy."

Severus sighed and uncrossed his legs, unconsciously backing a little further into the sofa as he said, "Why don't we all address the elephant in the room and acknowledge that the most difficult hurdle we have to overcome is that fact that, whatever the reason, I'm responsible for Albus' death?"

Harry reappeared in the doorway, the tea towel slung over his shoulder. There was something in his expression, something that Severus had never seen before, and it reminded him that the boy he had once known had been replaced by a man that Severus had yet to fully understand.

"I've given testimony myself on that subject, but the clincher will be if you allow us to share your memories," Harry said, and Severus looked at him in surprise.

"You mean you haven't shown them yet?" he asked.

"They weren't mine to make public," Harry said softly, and Severus was unprepared for the wave of shame that hit him to realise that his assessment of Harry in the past had been ungenerous to say the least.

Sensing the atmosphere, Hermione cleared her throat and said, "These are all things we can discuss at a later date. Ron and I really just wanted to talk you through the basics today. The most important thing at the moment is to get your health sorted and to acclimatise you to life outside of Azkaban."

Severus appreciated her air of efficiency and felt on firmer ground with the practicality of what she was saying. He nodded and said, "Is there anything about the terms of my probation that I don't already know?"

Hermione flicked through the pages of notes and cast her eye over the back page before saying, "You can go anywhere within a 30-mile radius, as you already know, but you can't use any magic to travel – "

"I can't use any magic at all," Severus interjected, unable to stop the tone of resentment that slipped into his voice.

Ron and Hermione exchanged a glance and Ron leant forward slightly, saying in the same deep, measured voice that still surprised Severus, "That's not completely true."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Ron pressed his fingers to his lips for a moment, then said, "There's currently a shortage of competent potion makers in the country. The Ministry has control of all those who have a brewing license, but among them there's no one with a Mastery. Put simply, they're desperate, and your bail is reliant on you agreeing to brew for them."

"It isn't that simple," Severus said with a frown. "To make potions, one has to be in possession of a wand."

"We know that," said Ron, and Severus was at a loss to understand the smile that played about his lips. "The Ministry has issued you with one of these," he said, reaching into his robes and pulling out a wand that looked like the kind wizarding families gave to children who experienced magical slips and needed something to channel their energy. "It's a restricted wand, heavily monitored and regulated and one that's been issued to you."

Ron laid it on the table and Severus eyed it with disdain. He would have preferred nothing at all rather than this humiliating stick that was barely more use than a pencil. He heard a soft laugh and he looked up to see Harry looking at him with a knowing smile.

"I rather thought you'd react like that," he said. He moved over to the little table that sat beneath the window and opened the drawer, extracting something from it and walking back to stand in front of Severus. "You'd prefer your own wand, I daresay," he said, extending his hand, which Severus could see held a wand that looked suspiciously like his own.

"It was broken," he said softly, "they snapped it in two."

Harry took a seat beside him on the sofa, still holding the wand, Severus too wary to take it. "They snapped a duplicate," he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That isn't possible," Severus replied, feeling more perplexed than he had done in a while.

Harry smiled and looked over to Ron, who answered with his own smile and said, "George has a…friend who has a particular talent at cloning wands. It's hugely illegal and if she was caught I wouldn't like to guess what would happen to her…or to us for employing her."

"The thing is," Hermione said, picking up the thread, looking as pleased as the other two did, "when they snapped what they believed to be your wand, they de-registered it. As far as the Ministry is concerned, this wand doesn't exist."

"Which of course means," said Harry, placing it on the sofa next to Severus, "that you can use it to your heart's content."

Severus stared down at it for a moment, having a hard time processing that it was his wand sitting there so innocuously. He had believed it gone forever, that perhaps one day he would manage to procure another one but that it would never be the same, he would never be as connected to it as he had been to the instrument that he channelled his magic so effectively, that he had felt so lost without for the past two years.

He slowly reached for it and ran his long fingers over it lightly before finally allowing them to wrap around the dark, shiny wood. He held the wand up and turned it over in his fingers, reminded of its weight, its shape, how it felt in his hand. There was no mistaking it, this was his, it hummed along his nerves and nudged the deep embers of his slumbering magic awake again.

"You did this?" he asked, looking back up at Harry.

"The thought of you without it didn't sit well with me," the man replied. "Besides, I knew you'd need it when you got out."

"You couldn't know they'd let me out," Severus countered, and Harry's expression was once again one that Severus was unfamiliar with.

"I knew I wasn't going to stop until they did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the second chapter, please let me know : )


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Severus sat in the armchair by the fire in the living room, his wand in his lap, staring rather blankly into the flames. It was a cold day for late September, and these days the cold affected him more than it had ever done before. It would be better when he had some meat on his bones, when he wasn't a walking skeleton, but he had to admit that he had become a tad obsessive when it came to warmth.

He ran his fingers over his wand, the hundredth time he had done so that morning. It had been a couple of days since it had been returned to him and he hadn't let it out of his sight since. He had yet to perform any magic with it; despite Hermione's assurance that, to all intents and purposes, it no longer existed and couldn't be traced, he still felt cautious. There was also, if he was honest, something else holding him back, the fear of performing magic again after two years without it, the worry that his power might have been damaged in the way his health had been.

He had heard of such things happening; trauma could often cause impairment to a witch or wizard's magic, in severe cases it could even render a person a squib left with little or no power. He knew that wasn't the case for him, he could feel the power inside himself even though it had lain dormant for so long. He worried though that he mightn't be able to use it the way he once had, that his magic, like the rest of him, had been irrevocably altered.

"Professor?" came Harry's voice, and Severus looked up to see Harry hovering on the stairs.

He had meant to tell the man to address him by his first name days ago, to grant him that small measure of familiarity and lessen the barriers between them, but for some reason he hadn't. Perhaps he was worried that doing so would prompt Harry to make a similar offer, and he found that the feel of the man's name around his tongue was too odd to use.

"Would you like to come and see the building I thought you could use to brew potions? If it's no good we'll have to think of something else."

"You're assuming that I'll agree to the Ministry's ridiculous demand," Severus replied, the old harshness creeping back into his voice.

Harry simply smiled. "I'm assuming that you're not stupid enough not to."

Severus rolled his eyes but got to his feet nevertheless, tucking his wand into the back pocket of the trousers he was wearing. He saw Harry glance at it and for a moment Severus thought he was going to say something, but he merely ran his tongue along his bottom lip then headed for the front door.

He followed Harry outside and winced slightly as the cold wind wrapped itself around him. He hadn't set foot outside the building since he had come to live there nearly a week prior and despite the grey, dull day, he could see how pretty it was.

A garden wrapped around the entire property, encased by a crooked stone wall. In one section was a table and chairs and small pond, the sound of the trickling fountain gently permeating through his bedroom window at night. In another section was a well-tended vegetable patch, and as they neared it, Severus was surprised to see that there were several potions ingredients growing happily amongst the rows.

Harry led him round the back of the house and he saw that there were a couple of outbuildings, one that looked much sturdier than the other. It was this one that Harry opened up, propping the door open and stepping aside to let Severus in. It was roughly the size of his old potions lab at Hogwarts and there was a long workbench in the middle of it, which had obviously been used for woodwork at one time or another. There were metal cabinets and wooden shelves lining the walls, and heavy shutters hung on the windows so that light might be banished from the room.

"We'll have to give it a bit of a clean and make it a bit more serviceable, but will it do do you think?" Harry asked, his hands on his hips.

Severus ran his fingers over the rough wood of the table and looked up at Harry. "Have I no option but to comply with this nonsense?" he asked.

Harry sighed and dropped his hands, moving around the long table to stand next to Severus. "I know it's not ideal but if it enables you to be here rather than in Azkaban then isn't that preferable?"

Severus looked away from the penetrating green eyes, hating feeling that their roles had somehow reversed, that he was the errant schoolboy and Harry was the level-headed, rational teacher trying to get him to see the error of his ways.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder and Severus tried to hide his surprise at the touch. Harry's hand was warm, a pleasantly heavy weight on his skinny frame, and he resisted the urge to look up at the man.

"It'll get better, I promise," Harry said softly. "I'll help in any way I can, I could even help with the potions," he added, provoking a snort of amusement from Severus that the man couldn't hold in.

"Am I truly so pathetic a figure that you feel the need to offer your assistance with something you hate?" he asked, finally trusting himself to look up.

"There are many words I've used to describe you over the years, most of which I've said to your face, but 'pathetic' has never been one of them. That hasn't changed now."

The hand was removed, and Severus wished it hadn't been, taken aback slightly by how much comfort he had drawn from it.

"Anyway," Harry continued, and Severus hoped he was as oblivious to his reaction as he seemed, "I don't hate potions, I just hated the way you taught it."

Severus was about to tell the man that he could take a running jump when he caught the subtly teasing glint in his eye. He settled for shaking his head and saying, "I never said I was suited to teaching."

Harry's expression softened and for a brief moment Severus thought that perhaps the hand would find its way to his shoulder again, but it didn't.

"You were playing a part, I didn't always understand that."

"There's no need to canonise me," Severus said, feeling an irrational sense of irritation well up inside him.

"I wasn't," Harry replied. "There's not enough naivety left in me to do that."

It was so softly said, so utterly without bitterness or rancour, that it pulled Severus up sharply. He had no response and Harry seemed to sense it, turning away and saying, "This will do then, as a workroom?"

Severus knew of course that he had never really had a choice, and he was aware that to do anything other than to comply willingly would be to throw everything Harry had done for him back in the man's face. He was not so far gone that he would behave with so little honour.

"It'll do," he said quietly, and Harry glanced back over his shoulder at him, offering a small smile and a pleased nod.

* * *

A studious, thoughtful Harry was not one that Severus was well acquainted with. He was used to the man flinging himself from one disaster to another, reacting and flying by the seat of his pants, making it all up as he went along. The Harry he found himself living with was almost entirely foreign to him.

The man's day was taken up with the work of the foundation he had set up with Ron and Hermione. He spent the morning going through and replying to correspondence, scheduling meetings with his representative and legal team and conducting any administrative work that was necessary. In the afternoon he would settle himself down in one of the armchairs with several large tomes spread out on the coffee table in front to of him, acquainting himself with wizarding law.

If Severus had ever needed proof that Harry was no longer the boy he had once known, hearing him discuss one campaign or another over a quick fire call with Ron or Hermione, a half-drunk cup of coffee in his hand, was enough to convince him. He sounded so competent, so in control, that Severus couldn't help but feel slightly inadequate next to him.

It would have been easier, perhaps, if Harry was still the rash 17-year-old that he could remember, with his boyish face and constant air of uncertainty. It would have made him feel on more solid ground if Harry still held some glimmer of resentment, if he still harboured the hostility that had characterised their relationship for so many years, but none of that seemed evident anymore.

It had been almost a month since he'd been released from Azkaban, and he and Harry had established a routine of sorts. They were both naturally early risers and met in the kitchen around eight each morning. Harry would sort breakfast while Severus organised the tea and coffee, muttering each time how he couldn't understand how anyone could drink tea in the morning while Harry simply rolled his eyes at the speech that he knew by heart.

After breakfast, Harry would work through his business for the foundation while Severus retreated to the workshop that they had made fit to use as a potions lab. He hated working, for all intents and purposes, for the Ministry, hated having his brewing dictated to him, but to be able to revert to the art that he had always adored was too wonderful for him to let his resentment get in the way.

The orders from the Ministry were all for complicated, involving potions, ones that required a Mastery in the subject and weren't simply to keep the hospital stocks full. Some he had to spend the whole day on, but he tried to space out how often that happened, as his health was still fragile and he usually needed to rest in the afternoons, settling down in the cosy living room with a book from Harry's surprisingly well-stocked library.

For the more complicated orders, Harry would help him, keeping his assistance limited mostly to preparing ingredients and keeping an eye on things if Severus had more than one potion brewing at once. Severus' reactions were no longer as quick as they once were and, to his frustration, he found that sometimes it was easy for him to become confused while he was in the middle of an involving process.

"Are you coming in?" Harry asked, poking his head through the workshop door. "I need to see to your wound."

"Just give me a minute, almost done," he replied, keeping his attention on the potion in front of him.

Harry, used to not having Severus' attention on him when he was focused on brewing, left to go back into the house, and Severus lowered the flame beneath the cauldron, pleased that it had turned the pale turquoise he was expecting. It was now safe to leave to simmer for the next hour, leaving him free to go and have his wound treated.

It was now starting to heal properly, and he only needed to have the healing spell performed once a week rather than every day. It was both a relief and a disappointment. The first time Harry had performed the spell, Severus hadn't been prepared for just how intense it would be. It was powerful magic that Harry was using, and, more importantly, it was also a very intimate experience.

Harry had to touch him to perform it, had to run his gentle fingers over the ridge of the angry red scar on his throat as he murmured the softly spoken words of the spell. If Severus thought his body had reacted to the sight of Harry biting his lip, it was nothing to how it reacted to being touched by the man.

The magic was working; the lingering traces of poison that were still in his system were slowly being leeched out and the scar was becoming fainter with each performance of the spell. He felt better than he had done in months, and he hadn't realised just how badly affected he had been by his wound going untreated for so long.

He checked the potion one last time and wiped his hands on the damp cloth he kept nearby, then shrugged out of the protective robe he was wearing, laying it on the workbench to be used later. He went back into the house to find Harry standing by the fireplace, waiting for him with a smile.

"Come on then," he said, "sooner we start the sooner it's over with."

"It isn't as though it hurts," Severus replied, rolling his eyes.

"No, but having me in your personal space for nigh on twenty minutes can't be your idea of fun," said Harry, and Severus had no idea how to answer him. He settled instead for unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his shoulder, feeling the usual sense of embarrassment at being half naked in front of Harry.

After a month of Harry's careful compliance to the nutrition plan, Severus had put on some much-needed weight, and no longer resembled a victim of famine. However, he had a long way to go before his health fully recovered, and his body was a testament to that fact. He was still skinny, his skin still had a faintly greyish tinge to it, and he was still having to use the topical potion Maggie had given him to treat its poor condition.

He had never had the sort of body to make others jealous, but he had been healthier and had once had a strong body that he would have been much more comfortable showing to the young man who himself was not lacking in the looks department. To present this haggard, battle-worn form did nothing for his self-esteem, and he couldn't help but wonder just how repulsed Harry must be at having to be so close to him.

"Is it warm enough in here for you?" Harry asked, knowing the man's slight obsession with heat.

"It's fine," Severus replied, grateful that the fire was burning merrily away in the fireplace.

Harry moved closer and Severus tilted his head, allowing Harry access to his throat. He kept his gaze focused forward, concentrating on attempting to read the spines of the books that faced outward from the bookcase. It was a trick he had learnt the fifth or sixth time Harry had performed the spell, finding it a useful distraction to occupy his thoughts, thoughts that seemed determined to drift towards Harry.

Harry began to murmur softly, running his fingers over the wound with his left hand, while his right traced careful patterns with his wand. He was focused and thorough, and Severus knew by now that he was indeed in safe hands. Harry seemed to have a talent for healing magic, and although Severus knew that the man didn't intend to follow a career in it, he was convinced he would do well if he did.

Harry's hand was warm against his skin, as it always was, and Severus idly wondered if the man cast a warming charm on it before these sessions, or if he was a naturally warm person. He smelt of soap and the apple-scented shampoo he used, and Severus had to renew his efforts to focus solely on trying to read the book titles.

He had tried to reason with himself that after so long shut away from the world his body would have responded to anyone, but the longer these sessions went on, and the longer he allowed himself to sneak glances across at the man who had banished the boy he had once known, the more he found himself unable to hold to that line of reasoning.

Harry had always been pleasant-looking, Severus hadn't been oblivious to that fact, despite his outward antipathy towards him in the past. He had never given it much thought though, especially as Harry had been his student at his time and then afterwards his supposed enemy. In this strange little bubble though where he was confronted by the man day after day, where he sat across from him at mealtimes and they shared each other's living space, it was impossible not to notice how handsome the man had become.

He silently warred against it, furious with himself for succumbing to something he should have been above, something that should have been beneath him. The man was twenty years his junior for Merlin's sake, not to mention the fact that their long and very complicated history should have put the stoppers on any kind of attraction that might have tried to burrow into his consciousness. It was the most ridiculous situation to be in, and he despised himself for it.

"There, that should do it," Harry said softly, lowering his wand and peering at his throat, running his fingertips over the diminishing scar.

Severus suppressed the urge to shiver. No matter how his body might wish to respond to Harry, there was no way he was ever going to let the man know about it. He had never accustomed himself to humiliation, and he was damned if he was going to start now.

Harry stepped back a little and Severus shrugged back into his shirt again and was about to start doing the buttons up when he realised that Harry was standing there, looking at the scar on his throat with a frown. It wasn't the first time he had seen Harry looking at him like that, but the expression on his face was more intense that it had been before.

"What's the matter?" Severus asked before he could stop himself.

Harry appeared to shake himself and he looked up at Severus almost guiltily, trying and failing to school his features into an impassive mask. He turned away and rubbed at the back of his neck, leaving a patch of redness as he let his hand fall before sighing heavily. Severus was about to repeat his question when Harry said quietly,

"I didn't know."

Severus frowned and asked Harry's back, "What are you talking about?"

"I didn't know that you were still alive," came the barely audible whisper.

He turned back around and Severus was taken aback by the expression on the man's face. It was so intense, torn between earnest and grieved, and Severus felt himself falter slightly under it.

"When you gave me your memories, I believed you were dying, that you were using your last breaths to give me what I needed to go out and kill that bastard. If I'd have thought…if I'd have known…I wouldn't have left you there, I wouldn't…fuck," Harry breathed, flinging himself down into the nearby armchair.

He let his head fall forward into his hands and Severus watched him with a frown, wanting to say something, but unsure if there was anything he _could_ say. He had never thought for one second that Harry had simply left him there; it stood to reason that he had believed Severus dead, Severus himself had believed it until he had become dimly aware that the afterlife seemed a lot like his quarters.

"Ron found you," Harry said softly, raising his head but not meeting Severus' eyes. "I…I wanted to go and get your body…I couldn't bear the thought of you lying there, all alone and…" Harry trailed off and took a deep breath. "Ron volunteered to go, he knew it would be too hard for me. I was…I was kind of a mess. Your memories…the realisation of…how wrong I'd been…it threw me for a loop. I asked him to bring you back up to the castle, so we could give you a proper burial…fuck…how morbid is it to say that to someone who's standing alive in front of you?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing, still refusing to look up at Severus.

He took another shaky breath then continued, "He couldn't believe it when he found you still alive. He sent his patronus up to the castle and a group of us came to help. None of us could quite believe it, it just didn't seem possible. I…I've never felt so fucking awful in all my life, I'd just left you there!" he said forcefully, finally looking up at Severus. "I'd left you and gone about without a care in the – "

"Are you mad?" Severus asked, and Harry blinked up at him, pulled up short.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"You're talking as though you left me to go and have tea and scones with Molly Weasley!" Severus said, resisting the overwhelming urge to grab Harry by the scruff of his neck and shake the life out of him. "You were in the middle of a battle, you had no choice but to go and fight the biggest calamity that has ever befallen wizardkind and you're kicking yourself because you didn't stay to see the light leave my eyes?"

Harry paused before saying, "I could have…I _should_ have come back afterwards – "

"After you yourself had died?" Severus asked fiercely. He rounded the furniture and moved to kneel in front of Harry, who shifted back in the armchair slightly in surprise. "There are many times throughout our acquaintance that I have called you selfish and I'm willing to admit now that on very few of those occasions did you deserve such a slur. You were seventeen," he said, his voice softening a little, "and you had just had a terrible burden placed upon your shoulders. You went out to die that day, you bloody well _did_ die, and the fact that I didn't is one that I am still trying to reconcile in my own mind. Please don't add my survival to whatever other burdens trouble your mind."

Harry looked down at him, his jaw clenched tightly, his brows knitted in a frown. "You shouldn't have been left there like that," he whispered. "It wasn't right."

"There are few things that are 'right' in war," Severus said, looking up at Harry with as open an expression as he had allowed himself in years, "but if you've been carrying this misplaced guilt for the last two years then I urge you, for my sake and yours, to let it go."

"It isn't that easy," Harry said softly, looking very much as though he was doing his best to fight back tears.

Severus sighed and slowly pushed himself back up to a standing position, doing his best to ignore the painful protests of his knees as he did so. He looked down at Harry, who suddenly looked like the boy he remembered, fragile and vulnerable, hurting and frustrated with himself because of it.

"I know more than most how dangerous it is to dwell on the past. Please don't make the same mistakes I did, please know that there is nothing that you should reproach yourself for."

Harry looked no more convinced than he had done a couple of minutes prior, but he gave his head a resigned nod, looking fairly ashen-faced. "I should…I should get started on lunch," he said softly, levering himself out of the armchair, Severus stepping aside to make way for him.

"Is there anything you'd like sir?" Harry asked, stopping in the doorway to turn to face Severus.

Severus paused and resisted the urge to cross his arms, feeling irrationally defensive about what he was about to say. "I think perhaps it's time we learnt to call one another by our first names," he said quietly as he saw the surprise register on Harry's face.

The man was quiet for a moment or two before a gentle smile began to play about his lips. "It's funny to think of you as 'Severus'," he said, and something in Severus' chest fluttered at hearing Harry say his name. Harry's cheeks flushed slightly and he said, "I've been so used to thinking of you as either 'Professor Snape', the man who saved my life countless times and the man I can't help but respect, or just plain 'Snape', the man who made my life hell and who I thought lived to torment me. I've never really thought of you in any other light. Well…that's not…strictly true I suppose," Harry trailed off, his cheeks redder than ever.

Severus took a couple of steps closer, intrigued to find out what could possibly be making Harry blush like a schoolgirl. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice low.

Harry thrust his hands in his pockets and looked down at his shoes, twisting his mouth slightly as though pained by what he was about to admit. "I thought of you as the Prince," he whispered. "After I found out it was you, I still thought of you as him, as the person I…as someone I could have been friends with. It took me a long time to reconcile it in my mind, but I still think of you like that…sometimes."

Severus had no idea what he was supposed to say that, he had no idea that Harry had ever thought about him in such terms and it knocked his world askew. He had to say something before Harry's blush engulfed his entire body and the man died of mortification.

"Perhaps it's time we both learnt to think of each other as the men we now are, rather than clinging on to false ideas of the men we were," he said eventually, and Harry looked up at him with a guarded smile.

"I can do that," he said, nodding his head. He cleared his throat and seemed to be doing his best to will the blush away. "Would you like some lunch, Severus?" he asked, rolling the name around his mouth as he tried to get used to it.

"I'd love some, Harry."

The grin he received in response was well worth the awkwardness he felt at finally letting himself admit that the man wasn't simply his former student, wasn't just the son of a man he loathed, but was now a fully-formed person in his own right. Acknowledging that the man was now 'Harry' felt like the first step on a road that he wasn't entirely certain he had any business being on. He supposed the only way to find out was to continue taking those tentative steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the update, please let me a comment and let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Well, I must say, I'm very pleased with your progress," said Maggie as she and Severus made their way back downstairs after she had examined him.

"Easy for you to say, you're not living in this wreck of a body," Severus groused as he followed behind her, doing up the final buttons on his shirt.

"It's not a wreck," Maggie argued, turning around as she hit the bottom stair, Severus having to stop sharply to avoid walking straight into her. "You've put on a stone in weight and your wound's healing nicely. I told you this would be a slow process."

"He doesn't do slow processes," Harry said blithely from his spot by the fire, continuing to look down at the book in his lap.

Severus glared at him, or rather, he glared at the side of his head while the man carried on reading. "While you are famous for possessing the gift of patience," he said, injecting his words with as strong a sneer as he could manage.

He could see Harry's lip quirk slightly but he still didn't look up.

Maggie moved aside and Severus stepped into the living room, trying to avoid the stern look of reproach the woman was sending his way.

"These things don't happen overnight," she said, moving to the other armchair and extracting his file from the folder she was carrying, pulling a pen from her swathe of robes and beginning to scribble a few notes in the margin.

"I'm well aware of that," Severus said, trying and failing to keep the irritation from his voice.

Harry glanced up at him, his expression amused rather than reproachful, and inexplicably Severus felt his irascible nerves soothed somewhat.

"Just think," Harry said, resting his chin on his fist as he continued to look up at him, "all those times you told me I was behaving like a petulant child, you're really giving me a run for my money now."

"I am not – " Severus began to growl, but Harry merely grinned and said,

"Now now Severus, that colour you're starting to turn really does nothing for your complexion."

"Let's not spit our dummies out, children," Maggie said as she continued to make her amendments to Severus medical record.

"Oh let them get on with it," Ron said, appearing in the kitchen doorway, a large doorstop of a sandwich in his hand. "They're at their happiest when they're sniping at one another," he added before taking an ungodly-sized bite.

Severus redirected his glare at the redhead, but it was rather half-hearted as he knew Ron's words were true. It had been a couple of weeks since his and Harry's conversation about what had happened the night of the final battle and it had seemed to ease things between them. They were no longer treading around each other cautiously, existing with over-polite conversation, making sure they were on their best behaviour.

It had surprised Severus how easily they had fallen into familiarity. They found themselves on steady ground as they fell back on the habit of insulting each other, but now it was done without rancour. They badgered and goaded, and Severus was beginning to feel more like himself rather than the half-dead figure that had been dragged back into the world.

There was very little of the boy he had once known in the man that he was learning about. Harry was sharp-witted and gave as good he got when Severus sparred with him. He had a surprisingly sophisticated sense of humour and was more than up to the challenge of meeting Severus' caustic and acerbic comments with his own. To find that he liked Harry was almost as much of a shock as finding that he found the man attractive.

"Now that you've put a little weight on I think it's time we introduced exercise in your recovery plan," Maggie said, looking up from her notes at him. "Nothing too strenuous, perhaps a little light aerobics or – "

She was interrupted by a very loud, very amused snort from Harry, and Severus looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. The man was practically sniggering into his chest while Ron and Maggie simply looked bemused.

"And what, pray tell, is so funny?" Severus asked, causing Harry to emit another inelegant snort.

"The thought of you doing aerobics!" Harry said, dissolving into giggles. "I can just picture it – you in neon Lycra with leg-warmers and a fluffy headband giving Jane Fonda a run for her money!"

"You're dangerously close to ending up as a potions ingredient," Severus growled at him, which only seemed to amuse him further, and he continued to giggle uncontrollably as Severus did his best to stop his lip from twitching in response.

"Well, perhaps not aerobics," Maggie said, eyeing Harry as though trying to confirm whether or not he had lost the plot. "A little gentle walking should do it, there's ample opportunity for that around here. It wouldn't hurt you to go along too," she said, directing her remark to Harry, who still looked amused by his own witticism.

"I don't need exercise," Harry protested, sitting straight in the armchair to emphasise his physique. Severus did his best to stop his eyes from following the man's movements.

"Everyone needs exercise," Maggie said matter-of-factly, closing the file and replacing it in the folder. "You spend far too much of your time cooped up in here, it would do you good to get out now and again."

"I'm busy," Harry protested. "I haven't got the time to go out hiking!"

"I'm not suggesting a hike," Maggie said as though speaking to a five-year-old, "but a thirty minute walk every day would do you both good."

She packed the folder away and rose to her feet as though declaring the matter settled, then moved over to the porch to retrieve her cloak. "Are we still on for Saturday?" she asked Harry as she fastened the clasp at her throat.

"Saturday?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Oh honestly!" Maggie huffed. "We've had this arranged for ages! My cousin's wedding, remember? You agreed to go with me."

"Oh bugger, that's this Saturday?" Harry asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes Harry," Maggie said, her hands on her hips.

Ron and Severus exchanged a look, each glad that they weren't on the receiving end of Maggie's displeasure. Harry opened his mouth to speak again but Maggie cut him off, saying,

"Don't you dare say you're not coming. I've told everyone you'll be there and if I show up to another family do without someone on my arm I'll never hear the end of it!"

"I can't just abandon Severus," Harry said, casting a desperate glance up at him.

"I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of spending one evening alone," he said smoothly, and Harry's nostrils flared slightly as he glared at him.

"Good, that's settled," said Maggie with a nod of her head. "I'll come and pick you up at 4 o'clock, make sure you're ready!"

Luckily Maggie had apparated before she could see the two-fingered salute that Harry sent her way. He threw his book down on the coffee table and muttered, "I bloody hate weddings. Why did I agree to go? And you were no bloody help!" he said, looking back to Severus.

Severus shrugged and threw him a smirk. "You should have been more careful about those 'Lycra' comments, shouldn't you?"

"Git," Harry groused, getting up and moving into the kitchen.

Severus allowed himself a small snort of amusement and settled himself down on the sofa. Despite Harry's protests, he wondered, not for the first time if his relationship with Maggie was more than it appeared. As far as he was concerned, people usually attended weddings with people they were involved with, and Maggie had said that she'd told her family he would be there.

He told himself that he wasn't bothered either way, what did it matter to him if they were seeing one another? Unfortunately, he was a lot less adept at lying to himself than he was to other people.

He was distracted by Ron clearing his throat and leaning forward in his chair before saying, "Could I speak with you about something, Professor?"

"We're to call him Severus remember?" came Harry's voice from the kitchen, accompanied by the usual bangs and thumps that Severus had come to expect from Harry preparing lunch. "Although don't call him 'Sevvie', that doesn't go down too well."

Severus rolled his eyes and said to Ron, "What can I do for you?"

"Well, it's a little delicate," said Ron with a sigh. He tapped his fingers on his knees for a moment before he said, "Draco wants to come and see you."

Severus waited to hear what was so delicate about that, but when Ron said nothing further, he said, "I fail to see the issue."

"He doesn't know if he'll be welcome, he thinks you hate him," Ron said sadly.

"What?" Severus said disbelievingly. "You can't be serious?"

"You don't know what he's been through the last couple of years, he's…he's so different from the boy you remember. He's never forgiven himself for what happened with…with Dumbledore, he's completely racked with guilt that you had to step in and be the one to…" Ron trailed off, obviously uncomfortable. He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck, then said, "I think it would be really good for him to come and see you, but if you don't want to see him then I'll find a way to break it to him gently."

"Of course I'll see him," Severus said, barely needing to give the matter a moment's consideration. "He was just a boy when all that happened, how could he think I would hold it against him?"

"He's been through a lot," Ron said softly. "He's spent a lot of time doing some pretty serious soul-searching. I doubt you'll recognise the man he's turned into."

"Well that'll be nothing different. I'm still trying to reconcile myself to you and Harry."

Ron gave him a wry smile and said, "I suppose we're all different. A lot's changed."

Severus nodded. "Tell him I'd be more than happy to see him."

Ron looked relieved. "Thank you, that's a weight off my mind. I'll bring him in a week or so, if that's alright with you?"

"That'll be fine. Try and reassure him in the meantime that he has nothing to fear from me."

"Believe me, I've been telling him that for ages but he won't believe it until hears it from you."

* * *

Severus sat alone in the armchair by the fire, reading through the latest Potions journal that Hermione had procured for him. Harry was out with Maggie at her cousin's wedding and he wasn't sure what time to expect him back. He had left looking very smart in dark blue dress robes that were tailored to perfection, moaning the entire time about how much he hated weddings and making sure Maggie knew that she owed him.

It was the first time Severus had been alone in nearly two months, and while it didn't necessarily bother him, he found that he missed Harry's company. He had always been used to a solitary existence, even at Hogwarts he had only taken his meals with the staff because it had been a requirement, and he had been happy to keep himself to his rooms as much as possible.

Now though, after two years spent in isolation with no human contact of any kind, he had learnt to appreciate having company. He would never have admitted it, but he would have been hard pressed to find better company than Harry's. He enjoyed the time he spent with the man, speaking to him and teasing him, enjoyed the sharp wit of Harry's tongue and how the man was capable of holding up his end of a lively and stimulating conversation.

He placed the journal on the coffee table and leant his head back against the chair, closing his eyes for a moment. His eyesight was not what it had once been; his time spent locked away had played havoc with all aspects of his health, and his vision hadn't escaped unscathed. It was hard for him to focus on reading material for long periods of time, and it was made worse in the evening when there was less light. It was also difficult for him to adjust to changes in light and sooner or later he would have to subdue his pride and admit that he probably needed glasses.

Overall, his health was slowly improving. Acclimatising to life outside of Azkaban had been both difficult and euphoric. Having his liberty and his sanity restored to him was beyond wonderful, and every day he was grateful for the simple pleasures of maintaining hygiene and sleeping in comfort and safety. It didn't change the fact though that he felt cut adrift in a world that he wasn't sure he understood anymore. Everything felt strange to him, and he himself felt strange as a consequence.

He didn't know what his place was anymore, what his purpose was apart from to brew potions for the Ministry that no one else seemed capable of brewing. He had no income, no home of his own, and no real purpose from day to day. He knew that he had to exist in limbo while they all awaited the trial, but the issue was that he had no idea what might exist beyond it. He knew Harry's foundation had a programme in place for those needing to be re-integrated into wizarding society, but the thought of needing it wasn't one that pleased him.

He was about to give up and head up to bed when he heard a loud pop outside the house and suddenly the front door banged open. Maggie appeared in the porch, holding up what looked to be a very worse for wear Harry. She dragged him into the room and chucked him down onto the sofa, the man moaning and curling into the side of it, glaring up at Maggie.

"What on earth has happened?" Severus asked, standing and walking over to join Maggie, looking down at Harry as he redirected his glare to him.

"Some people can't handle their booze," Maggie replied through gritted teeth. "Stay there, I'll get you some water," she told Harry, moving off into the kitchen, Severus following her.

She pulled a glass from one of the cupboards and filled it with water from the tap, turning to face Severus and saying, "I should have known not to let him get his hands on those last two glasses of wine. He barely drinks and he doesn't handle it well when he does. At least I got him back here before he started getting all maudlin."

She moved back into the living room, and Severus hovered in the doorway, watching as she knelt in front of Harry and slid a hand behind his head, holding it up as she put the glass of water to his lips.

"Just drink it you bloody fool before I pour it over your head," she said crossly.

"Mmf, can manage," Harry protested, shifting himself up to an awkward sitting position and taking the glass from her hands, sloshing a good amount of water over himself before he managed to get it to his mouth, glugging it noisily.

"Look I'm sorry to do this to you, but I should really get back to the party. Do you mind if I leave him with you?" Maggie asked.

"There's little choice," Severus said wryly, "he lives here. Although I expected him to be staying with you tonight."

"Me? Why would he be staying with me?"

"Well," Severus said, feeling uncomfortable. "With you two being…"

Maggie burst out laughing and Harry looked up at her with a frown, trying to work out what was being said that was so funny, but obviously failing to do so, going back to drinking his water with comical care.

"Harry and I aren't an item," Maggie said with a grin. "Far from it! I'm the wrong gender for him and he is seriously not my type even if I were! And here I was thinking you were good at reading situations. I guess Azkaban took the edge of those finally-honed senses eh?"

Severus bristled at her comments and would have remonstrated were it not for the fact that a small corner of his brain was shouting at him that Maggie had just told him Harry was gay. He opened his mouth to say something but found that nothing came out. Maggie smiled at him and said,

"Just to satisfy your curiosity – Harry isn't an 'item' with anyone, I think he's waiting for Mr Right."

"Are you talkin' about me?" Harry asked, looking up at them with bleary eyes, just about able to realise that he had heard his name.

"Yes, about you not _to_ you, so belt up," Maggie shot back. "I've really got to get back, sorry to dump you with him. Just chuck a load of water down his throat and sling him in his bed."

"That's your medical advice is it?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow and she grinned before apparating from the spot.

Severus sighed and looked down at Harry, who was sipping at his water like a toddler who wasn't used to drinking out of a proper cup.

"Shall we get you up to bed?" he asked, and Harry squinted up at him as though trying to work out who had spoken to him.

"I'm not tired," he said, slurring his words.

"You can't barely sit up straight," Severus argued.

"Don't want t'go t'bed. Not tired and the world goes funny when I lie down. Can you make me s'thing to make it stop?"

Severus shook his head and sat down on the sofa next to Harry, taking the glass from his hands before he let it slip from them. "I'm afraid that sort of potion takes twenty-four hours to brew."

Harry snorted and said, "You're just sayin' that t'make me suffer." He groaned and let his head fall forward into his hands, moaning softly, "I hate drinking. I never do it, doesn't agree with me. I should've said no to the whisky."

"Whisky?" Severus echoed, looking at Harry with amusement. "Not a sensible idea for someone unaccustomed to drinking."

"P'raphs it's a family thing. All the Weasleys can drink like fish, you should see Bill 'n Charlie, s'mental. Did my mum drink?" Harry asked, and Severus felt himself brought up sharply.

"What?" he asked, and Harry looked up blearily at him.

"My mum, did she drink?" he asked again.

Severus frowned, unable to understand how Lily had been brought into the conversation and confused why Harry was asking him about her.

"I…don't know," Severus answered finally, unnerved by Harry continuing to look across at him.

"But y'knew her though didn't you? I mean _really_ knew her, all those mem'ries, all the stuff in your head. You…loved her," he said, his eyes fluttering closed then opening again a few moments later.

"Harry – " Severus began, not wanting to have this conversation under these circumstances, if at all.

"All those years and I never knew," Harry said softly, shaking his head then looking as though he regretted the action. "No wonder you hated me."

"Harry, I never hated you," Severus said firmly, and Harry looked at him with a frown.

"Yes y'did," he said, hiccupping slightly. "You hated me b'cause she died for me and you loved her."

Severus took a deep breath and tried to figure out how best to handle the situation. He knew that at some point this conversation was going to happen, that Harry would want answers from him, but he wasn't sure that it was prudent to rake over old bones while Harry could barely see straight.

"I think you may have misinterpreted things slightly," he said eventually. "I was very young when I met your mother, and I was overwhelmed. She was the first friend I ever had, the first person who treated me like a human being, who showed me some kindness. For a long while I did believe myself in love with her, when I was too young and too naïve to understand that adoration could be mistaken for something more meaningful."

He paused, hating the fact that he was having to relive these memories, that he was having to confront all the things that he had buried for so long. His friendship with Lily, his entire youth, were not parts of his life that he wanted to examine too closely. He had made mistakes that had blackened his entire life and he had yet to reconcile those things in his own mind, let alone try and explain them to another person.

He knew that he owed it to Harry, that the man had every right to ask him about the memories he had seen, to understand the circumstances that had led them all to where they were now. It didn't mean that it wasn't painful, and Severus was not adept at confronting his own emotions or at digging up things that should have long ago been laid to rest.

"I came to realise that what I felt wasn't love, at least, not in the romantic sense. It took me a long time to understand that your mother wasn't the right person for me…that…that no woman would be the right person for me. I took a long time reconciling myself to that."

"Not the right person for you?" Harry repeated, frowning up at him, obviously trying to unpick the facts through his hazy mind. "B'cause she was…oh," Harry said with a long, drawn-out sigh. "You're…you don't…oh," he said again, apparently all out of responses. "But I saw," he protested. "I saw when she died…you were…heartbroken," he said, saying the word very carefully around his slurring.

"Of course I was," Severus replied, "just as you would have been if Ron or Hermione had died. Just because I wasn't in love with her didn't mean that I wasn't devastated at losing her. The fact that it was all my fault made it…unbearable."

He hadn't wanted to do this, he hadn't want to sit in front of Harry and admit that the reason his parents were dead was because of him. The guilt had eaten away at him over the years and he had coped with it the only way he knew how – by turning his bitterness and resentment towards Harry and convincing himself that he was somehow to blame. If Harry hadn't been the Chosen One then none of it would have happened. It was bollocks of course, he knew it well enough, but being confronted by it after all these years was staggering.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at Harry in surprise. The man was doing his best to focus his vision, but there was no hostility, no blame in his expression as he looked hard at Severus.

"It wasn't your fault," Harry said gently.

"Of course it was," Severus argued. "I told him, I told Voldemort about the prophecy. He would never have known, he would never have come after you if it weren't for me."

Harry released a heavy sigh and removed his hand from Severus' shoulder, moving a little closer on the sofa next to him so that their arms brushed. There was silence for a moment, Severus assumed that Harry was trying to gather his thoughts and arrange them into some sort of coherence, but he wished the man would say something.

"I can't hold on to the past anymore," Harry said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "So much has happened, there's been so much pain, so much loss. We could spend the rest of our lives finding someone to blame for every little thing that happens, but in the end it just leaves you bitter and hollow."

He was speaking slowly, trying not to trip over his words, trying to make sure his speech wasn't slurred, but the feeling behind what he was saying was palpable. Severus looked ahead at the fire, feeling unable to look at the man next to him who was being more generous than Severus felt he had any right to expect.

"I don't want you blaming yourself anymore, I don't want you to hold on to all this pain, it'll kill you surer than that snake bite. Can't we…can't we find a way to move forward, to help each other get past this?"

Severus didn't know how to answer. He wanted it more than he could say, he wanted to find a way to let go of the past, to find absolution for his guilt and find a way to make peace with all that had happened. His thoughts were constantly plagued by what he had done, by all the mistakes he had made and all that he felt he owed the people in his life who had stuck by him through his transgressions.

He had often wondered what Lily would have made of him if she had still been alive. She would have been horrified at his treatment of her son over the years, but perhaps she would have understood the reasoning behind it if he had had the chance to explain it to her. She was the most warm-hearted, generous person he had ever known, and she would have been furious at him for wasting his life the way he had done, for letting guilt and shame eat away at him until there was nothing left but a man twisted by resentment and self-loathing.

Harry shifted closer still and after a moment or two, Severus felt the man's head come to rest on his shoulder. There was a pause then Harry slid his hand down to close over Severus' own. He slowly laced their fingers together and held Severus' hand gently.

Severus was so surprised that he could do nothing but stare down at their intertwined hands, amazed that Harry had made such an overture. He moved his thumb slowly back and forth across the soft skin of Harry's hand, and Harry seemed to take this as Severus' answer to his question. Severus felt him relax against his shoulder, nestling in a little closer, emitting a soft sigh as he did so. Severus gave the man's hand a gentle squeeze then brought his head down to rest against Harry's, the two men sitting staring ahead at the fire, drawing what comfort they could from one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting a little early this week as I'm off to Liverpool for a family do. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave me a comment and let me know.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Please tell me you have something for this bloody hangover," Harry groaned as he stumbled down the stairs the next morning. He had woken a lot later than usual, and Severus had been up for several hours before Harry made his appearance.

Severus looked up from the morning paper and wasn't surprised to find that Harry looked like hell. "I've left you a vial in the kitchen. Make sure you eat something before taking it."

"Oh thank Merlin, you're a lifesaver."

Harry shuffled off into the kitchen and after a moment or two Severus heard the tell-tale noises that Harry was preparing himself breakfast. He returned his attention to his newspaper and told himself to stop feeling so nervous.

He was still feeling shaken about what had transpired the night before, and he had had very little sleep because of it. He had lain awake thinking about how things stood between himself and Harry, and he was unable to stop thinking about the way they had sat together, their hands entwined, to all intents and purposes cuddled up together.

It was as close as he had felt to anyone in years and for it to be Harry that he had experienced it with was rather overwhelming. He was doing his best to focus his attention back to the article he had been reading when he felt a hand brush over his shoulder and down his arm slightly before Harry moved to sit in the armchair opposite him, holding a plate of heavily buttered toast.

"That stuff's amazing, I feel ten times better. Thank you."

Severus tried to ignore the casual touch that Harry had bestowed seemingly without thought and said, "I imagine you felt rather worse for wear when you woke."

"I felt like death warmed up. I can't do alcohol, I should just learn my lesson. We don't like one another."

"I'd advise abstinence if I were you," Severus said, folding the paper and laying it on the arm of his chair.

Harry snorted around a mouthful of toast and said, "Why not? I employ it in every other aspect of my life."

Severus was about to ask what he meant when he remembered what Maggie had said the previous night. Harry wasn't an 'item' with anyone, there was no one in his life and he didn't seem the type to engage in casual encounters. It was yet another piece of information he had learnt about the man and he couldn't help but admit that his interest was piqued.

There was silence for a while as Harry polished off his breakfast then proceeded to lick the butter from his fingers. Severus gritted his teeth and tried not to look. Was the man really so innocent that he didn't realise what he was doing? If he hadn't known that Harry was utterly incapable of artifice he would have been convinced that he was doing it on purpose.

"Fancy a walk?" Harry asked, looking out of the window and seeing that the weather looked fine.

"Are you capable?" Severus asked, and Harry smiled.

"Your potion's done wonders. My rotten hangover is just a distant memory, thank Merlin. So, a walk?"

A little while later and they were out in the fresh air. Harry's house was in a little hamlet on the edge of Dartmoor, and from it they could walk to their heart's desire on the many footpaths that were littered around. With Severus' 30-mile radius lockdown, he was grateful that there was so much space around him and so much opportunity to explore a part of England that he had little knowledge of.

Harry seemed to know every part of the landscape that surrounded the property, and he had often led Severus down a footpath that Severus was sure would lead to nowhere, only to find himself in the middle of a dense forest or at the top of valley, looking out over a stunning vista.

They walked in companionable silence, Severus always grateful that he could experience such freedom after so long spent in a windowless cell. Harry, although recovered from his hangover, seemed quiet, Severus would go as far as to say pensive. As they made the decision to turn back and head back to the house, Severus decided to bite the bullet.

"Is something the matter?"

Harry looked up from the leaves he had swiped from a low-hanging branch and stopped shredding them, saying, "Hm? What?"

"I said is something the matter? You seem a little preoccupied."

Harry let the shredded leaves fall from his hands and thrust his hands into his pockets. "I was just thinking," he said quietly.

"My, you have changed since your schooldays."

Harry smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I was thinking about our conversation last night," he said softly, and Severus felt his nerves jar. "I know I have no right to ask and I fully expect you to tell me to take a running jump, but…"

"But?" Severus prompted.

Harry paused for a moment, holding his bottom lip between his teeth as he so often did. "I was wondering if you might…if you'd tell me some stuff about my mum?" he asked, stopping walking to turn and look at Severus, his expression nervous.

Severus hadn't expected that, hadn't expected that of all things to come from their conversation the previous night Harry would want to pick over his memories regarding Lily. Harry had every right to want to know about his mother, but Severus wasn't sure if he could go back over all those old feelings again.

"I'd understand if you don't…if you'd rather keep your memories private, I'm sorry for asking, it's just that I don't have…people don't tell me…"

"Harry," Severus said softly, interrupting the man's babbling. "Of all the people in the world, you have a greater claim on my memories than most. You were robbed of your parents before you had any chance to make your own memories of them, how could I begrudge you wanting to know about your mother?"

Harry released a relieved sigh and said, "I hate to ask, I know how private you are and this is…so personal. I just want to know what she was like, little details that no one's told me, things that I can piece together to make some kind of picture."

"Everyone has the right to know where they came from, and if I can help acquaint you with the best person I ever knew, then I would consider it my honour."

Harry's smile was warm and dazzling as it spread across his face, and before Severus could register what was happening, the man flung his arms around his neck and pulled him into a brief but fierce hug.

Harry pulled away quickly, a deep blush suffusing his cheeks. Severus told himself very firmly that he didn't, in any way, find it adorable. They ended up extending their walk, going back past the house and up and over to the neighbouring valley, speaking about Lily all the way.

Severus found it very uncomfortable to begin with, and Harry was careful with the questions he asked. It was odd to revisit that time again in his mind, to dig up the memories of what had happened and to recount how close he had once been to Lily. Harry didn't want to know those things though, and he didn't pry, he simply wanted someone to tell him who his mother had been, what sort of person she was, and eventually, Severus relaxed enough to tell him.

"She was obsessive about animals," Severus said, his hands behind his back as he and Harry made their way down a crooked cobble path, his feet getting wet from the little stream that trickled down along it. "She was desperate for a pet but her parents, your grandparents, wouldn't let her have one. She used to spend time with anyone at Hogwarts who had a cat or an owl, she even had a fondness for toads. And animals liked her too," he added with a smile as he allowed himself to remember all the things he had loved about her.

"She had a real way with them, they responded to her, even the most stubborn and cantankerous of beasts. The Charms professor had a dog that he was allowed to bring to the castle with him, horrible little thing it was, used to snap and nip at people's heels, but she managed to get it to behave, it even let her stroke it."

Harry smiled, obviously pleased to learn this fact that he had never known about his mother. "All these little things," he said softly. "I can piece them together now and when I look at her photo I'll be able to see them all looking back at me, all the things that made her who she was. Would she have worked with animals, do you think?"

"She excelled at Care of Magical Creatures, and she adored ordinary animals too. Perhaps, once you were older, she might have wanted to pursue a career in that avenue. She'd have been brilliant at it if she did."

"Maybe she'd have gone and tamed dragons and Charlie would have ended up apprenticing with her."

"I doubt she'd have chosen such a dangerous vocation with you to think of," Severus said, and Harry looked across at him.

"No, perhaps not," he said quietly. "But she would have done _something_ , she would have had a life she could have been proud of, a job she loved."

There was silence for a moment, both men lost in their own thoughts about the woman who existed only as a memory.

"It's important, you know," Harry said after a while, stopping and moving over to the old stone wall that ran alongside the footpath. He leant his elbows on it and looked out at the rolling fields that lay beyond. Severus came to stand next to him, and Harry continued to look ahead as he said, "Letting a child know who its parents were, it's important. I plan to make sure that Teddy knows where he came from, how much his parents loved him."

"Lupin's son?" Severus asked, having heard Harry make mention of him once or twice before.

Harry nodded, turning to face him with a smile. "My godson. I should…I should spend more time with him really, but I'm so…so busy with things. It's not a good enough excuse though. I promised Andromeda that I'd help her, that I'd be there for him. I do try but…"

"You can't take everything on your shoulders Harry, it isn't possible for one person to carry so much."

Harry gave him a wan smile. "Look who's talking."

Severus paused for a moment, then said, "Why don't you have him to stay? I'm sure Andromeda would be glad of the break."

"I couldn't do that, not with you there, it wouldn't be fair to you."

"It's your house," Severus with a shrug.

"But he's two and a half, he'd drive you mad!"

"Harry, if you're serious about being in his life then you'd better start now, while he's young enough to accept you as a fixture. He'll need a…father figure in his life, you could be that for him."

Harry was quiet for a moment or two, pondering Severus' words. Severus watched as Harry's thoughts flitted across his face, carefully considering what had been said. Eventually, Harry looked up and met his eyes, and Severus felt his throat constrict at the soft smile that was sent his way.

"Thank you," Harry said quietly, then before Severus could respond, he stepped forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Severus' cheek, moving away immediately after and continuing off down the path. Severus brought his hand up to his face and pressed his fingers against the spot where Harry's kiss lingered before giving himself a quick shake and following after the man.

* * *

Severus finished applying the topical remedy that Maggie had given him, pleased that he seemed to be needing it less and less as time went on. He washed his hands then moved back into his bedroom and put his shirt back on, feeling the chill of late autumn dance over his skin.

He heard voices from the front garden below and moved over to the window, seeing Ron walking up the path, Draco following behind him. It had been over two years since he had last seen the man and he wasn't sure he would have recognised him if he had passed him in the street.

His hair was no longer almost platinum but was a rich, dark blond that hung softly about his face. Severus had always suspected that Draco had used a charm on his hair to make it more like his father's, to mould himself in the man's image, but with Lucius now dead, his hold over Draco diminished, it seemed that the man was willing to step out of his shadow.

His skin was a little tanned and he had filled out a bit, making his face look a lot less pinched and pointy, but something about the way he carried himself told Severus that the man wasn't in the best of health, and he suspected that he was still recovering from his time in Azkaban.

He watched as Draco stopped at the gate and Ron turned to face him, saying softly, "Come on, we agreed you were going to do this today. He's expecting you."

"Perhaps it would be best to leave it," Draco said, his voice deeper than Severus remembered. "It's too soon, he doesn't want me to come and bother him when he's only been out of Azkaban for a couple of months."

Ron sighed and moved back to Draco, and Severus watched in surprise as the man placed his hand on Draco's cheek and dipped his head slightly to meet his eyes, saying gently, "I've already told you, he doesn't blame you for what happened. Just come inside and speak to him."

"I can't face him, I feel so – "

"Drake, don't do this to yourself," Ron said, and Severus was surprised to hear the tenderness in Ron's voice.

The hand on Draco's cheek moved up to brush the hair from Draco's eyes and the gesture seemed to come so naturally that Severus realised now why Harry despaired of both men being seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were in love with one another. Draco smiled and leant in to the touch, and Severus had never seen his expression so soft and open before.

"Come on, let's go inside. Everything's going to be ok, I promise."

Draco nodded, though he looked no more convinced than he had done moments before, and before either Ron or Severus could blink, he moved forward and pressed his lips to Ron's in the briefest of kisses before pulling back and moving past Ron down the path to the front door. Severus couldn't stop his lips from quirking up in amusement at the look of pleased shock on Ron's face as the man stood still, staring after Draco, until he gave himself a shake and followed him.

Severus heard their voices drift into the house and heard Harry greet them warmly, deciding that that was his cue to join them. He checked his appearance in the mirror then made his way out of his bedroom and down the stairs, not missing the look of apprehension that flitted across Draco's face when he saw him.

"Ron and I are just going for a little stroll, give you two some peace," Harry said, giving Severus one of those smiles that crinkled the corners of his eyes and that Severus found utterly endearing. He nodded, and Harry and Ron made their way outside, Ron shooting Draco a look of encouragement as he went.

"Why don't we sit down?" Severus said, and Draco gave a relieved nod as he took a seat in one of the armchairs, Severus sitting opposite him on the sofa.

Draco rested his hands on his knees, and Severus could feel the nervous energy rolling off him in waves. He was looking anywhere apart from Severus and now he was close up, Severus could see the dark circles under the man's eyes.

"Draco," Severus said softly, "please would you calm down?"

"I am calm," Draco said, his impression of a startled rabbit saying otherwise.

Severus shook his head and, had he have been a demonstrative person, would have reached out and taken Draco's hand to try and reassure him. As it was, he simply sat there in silence for a moment or two, contemplating how best to proceed.

"You were sixteen, Draco," he said eventually. "How could I blame you for something that happened when you were barely more than a child?"

Draco took a shuddering breath and looked down at his knees, shaking his head, his jaw clenched tightly. "I should have found a way to – "

"To what?" Severus asked sharply. "To kill Albus yourself? To make yourself a murderer? Are you really telling me you could have lived with that stain on your soul?"

Draco looked up at him, his cheeks flushed, his eyes watery. "You have to," he whispered.

Severus sighed and leant forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I made a choice, Draco, a very long time ago that set me on a path I should never have been on. I would have done everything in my power to stop you from walking the same path. Albus _had_ to die by my hand; he was dying anyway and it was the only way to prove to Voldemort that my allegiance lay with him."

"But – "

"Draco, while Albus' death will haunt me for the rest of my days, I can at least comfort myself in thinking that it wasn't in vain. If you had killed him, you would have done it for no other reason than to do Voldemort's bidding, and that would have made you the most vile of abominations. It was my duty to protect you from that, and I did so gladly."

He had never quite thought of it in those terms before, but as the words left his lips, he realised it was true. He was glad to have saved Draco from such a fate, and although he would never be able to forgive himself, for Albus to die at his hand at least served a purpose. He had spared Draco from committing the most wretched of sins, and that, at least, could be a salve to his wounded conscience.

"You must learn to let go of the things that have happened, Draco. It's done now, and none of us can change the past," he said tiredly, wishing that he was able to take his own advice, but he had long since learnt that dishing these pearls of wisdom out was easier than taking them.

"It's just…so difficult," Draco said, his voice holding the same weariness that Severus felt.

"It'll get easier with time…or so I am led to believe," Severus added, offering Draco a wry smile when the blond looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry for all that you've suffered since I last saw you."

A look of sad resignation crossed Draco's face. "Thank you. It was…difficult, but I wasn't alone," he added with a slight quirk of his lips. "I've found a family in the Weasleys that I never thought possible. Molly…she took me in after…after Azkaban. I owe her so much, I owe all of them."

"And Ron?" Severus asked, leaning back in his chair slightly as the conversation turned a little lighter.

Draco coloured slightly and looked back down at his feet. "I'm grateful for his friendship," he said quietly. "He's been very good to me."

Severus quirked an eyebrow, although Draco wasn't looking at him to see it. It was perfectly plain to him exactly how Draco felt about Ron, but he wouldn't force the man into making a confession he wasn't ready to.

"Do you like living with him?" Severus asked, knowing perfectly well how to extract information without appearing to do so.

"Yes," said Draco, looking back up at him with a smile. "We have a snug little cottage not too far from here. It's smaller than this place, but we have a disproportionately big garden."

Severus was quiet as he allowed Draco to acquaint him with the details of his life with Ron. It was surprising but interesting to hear how often Draco said 'we' as he spoke, and it seemed that very few facets of his life were independent of Ron. Indeed, the man spoke as if they were already in a relationship and had established a very comfortable domestic set up. Ron clearly meant a great deal to him, and the warmth and affection that he spoke with when talking about the redhead was obvious.

Severus never imagined he would sit across from such an altered version of the boy he had once known while he spoke of each member of the Weasley family with respect and admiration. It was obvious that but for their intervention, Draco's life after his release from Azkaban could have been starkly different.

"How long were you imprisoned for?" Severus asked.

"Just over six months," Draco replied, his grey eyes troubled. "It was…awful. I'm sorry, that's a stupid thing to say to someone who was in there for two years," he said with a shake of his head.

"It isn't a contest," Severus said gently. "Just an hour in that place is enough to rob a person of their sanity."

"Hit the nail on the head there," Draco said with a self-deprecating smile. He took a deep breath and rubbed at the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes as he said, "I…had a bit of a breakdown after they got me out. I was…very unwell. If it hadn't been for Molly's care and attention, her sheer bloody-mindedness and determination to get me through it, I don't know what would have happened."

"Harry seems to think that you helped heal one another," Severus said after a moment's pause.

Draco looked up and gave him a sad smile. "Yes, I suppose we did. She was still coming to terms with losing Fred, caring for me gave her a purpose again, whilst I got to experience what having a mother could be like."

"Your mother did love you Draco, whatever you might think," Severus said, remembering how fraught Narcissa had been when she had come to him asking him to make the Vow, how desperate she had been to protect her son.

"I know she did," Draco said with a sigh. "But she never managed to find a way to show it, nor to put me above my father. With Molly and the rest of the family…it's the first time I've experienced a sense of belonging, it's the first time I've been given a hug without it being for show. It isn't easy for me to say, and I daresay I haven't told them as often as I should have done, but I owe them a great deal."

"From what I know of the Weasleys," Severus said, crossing one leg over the other, "they aren't the sort of people who require reparations for such a debt."

"You're right," Draco said softly. "And thank Merlin for it, because I would have an awful lot to repay."

"It seems that we are both in debt to a mountain of former Gryffindors," said Severus with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Draco looked across at him with a smirk that told Severus that there was still a ghost of the boy left in the man sitting in front of him. "Good thing you're out of Azkaban then isn't it?" Draco asked. "I'm in need of an ally in this strange new world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's this week's update, please leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It was true what people said; you never really knew a person until you lived with them. Living with Harry made Severus privy to all sorts of titbits of information that he would have never known otherwise. The man was fastidiously tidy almost to the point of obsession. Everything in the house had its place and woe betide anyone who didn't adhere to that. Every item in the cupboard was ordered alphabetically and the labels on the jars and tins had to be facing outwards. He liked things to be placed at right angles where possible, and he had very specific ideas about the spacing of furniture in each room.

He spoke to himself a lot, a product of living alone for nigh on two years, Severus suspected. It was amusing to hear him muttering away while he prepared dinner, and Severus' lip often quirked while he listened to the nonsense that would tumble from Harry's lips while he was distracted. He also had a habit of either apologising to inanimate objects when he walked into them, or of flinging very crude insults at them when they injured him. Severus had had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing when he had heard Harry call the kitchen table an 'arsing fuckbucket' when he walked into it once.

He was quieter than Severus remembered, his movements more muted, everything about him more contained, more guarded. He spoke softly and let his anger show rarely, even when he was upset or frustrated with a case he and the foundation were working on. He didn't speak without thinking first, and Severus could almost see the process behind his eyes as he considered each word he chose. He supposed it was inevitable, Harry was no longer a teenager and his actions were no longer governed by the threat of Voldemort hanging over his head.

He was still finding his place and purpose within the world, within society, and Severus couldn't help but feel a touch of pride in him that he was navigating it so well. He was allowing himself time to figure out who he was outside the realms of The Boy Who Lived, and Severus found that he wanted to try and aid that as well as he could.

In the years he had spent in Azkaban, indeed for some time before, Severus had been able to let go of the hatred he had once felt for Harry. It had been grossly unfair to have held it in the first place, but where such a thing was concerned, rational thought often didn't enter into the equation. What his feelings now were he couldn't say, indeed he would rather not have given them too much thought, but it wasn't too much to admit that he had softened towards Harry. Indeed, the 20-year-old version of the boy he had once known was capable of invoking something akin to fond affection within him. Perhaps it was best not to dwell too long on such a concept.

What surprised him most was how easily he fell into domesticity with the man. He had lived on his own for many years, sequestered away in his quarters at Hogwarts or living as inconspicuously as possible in Spinner's End, and he had never given much thought to sharing his life with another person. Indeed, he had been convinced that he wouldn't take well to it at all, but living with Harry proved surprisingly easy. They attuned well to each other's rhythms and after so long locked away from all humanity, Severus found he enjoyed the comfort of Harry's company.

"I had a file around here somewhere, I'm sure I did," Harry mumbled as he came back into the living room, looking around with a frown. "Where are you, you little shit?"

Severus smirked as he continued to look down at the book in his hands, used to Harry constantly mislaying things and scouring the house for them.

"How can I have lost it in the space of five minutes?" Harry muttered in frustration, moving around the room.

"Harry?" Severus said, looking up and trying his best not to smile.

"Mm?" Harry said distractedly.

"What's that in your hand?"

"In my what? I…oh…" Harry said, looking down and realising that he had been holding the file the entire time. "For fuck's sake, I'm losing my sodding mind," he said, chucking the file down on the sofa and following it soon after. "Bloody buggering fuckwit."

Severus snorted and placed his book aside to look at Harry in amusement. "Was your swearing always so prolific, not to mention creative?"

Harry gave him a tired smile and said, "No, you can blame George for that one."

"Mr Weasley? Why?"

Harry took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes for a few second before he cleaned his glasses on the sleeve of his jumper and said, "I lived with him before I bought this place."

"Oh?" said Severus, surprised to learn this piece of information.

Harry placed his glasses back on the bridge of his nose and leant his head against the sofa, tilting it to look at Severus. "He was so lost after Fred, and I didn't have a clue what to do with myself after…after everything. He needed help in the shop, he needed help in general really…he wasn't well. I was happy to do what I could, and George offered me the spare room in the flat above the shop. It was good for us both."

"Didn't Molly want you both living at the Burrow?"

Harry nodded. "Oh yes, she did. She wasn't happy with either of us, but honestly it wouldn't have been healthy. George and I needed space, we needed time to get our heads together, but being able to rely on one another was nice, to be company for one another. I liked living with him, we managed to have a lot of fun, despite the mess we were both in at the time."

Severus couldn't help himself from asking, "Were the two of you…involved?"

Harry let out a loud bark of laughter. "Bloody hell no. I think of George the same way I do of Ron, as a brother and he sees me the same way. We became close though. It was nice, it developed a bond that hadn't really existed before."

"And how is he now?" Severus asked, feeling a horrible sense of guilt wash over him about his part in injuring George.

"He's as well as he can be. He'll never truly recover from losing Fred, and he knows that, but he's sensible enough to reach out and take support from his family."

There was silence for a while and the wheels in Severus' head began turning once again. That was another potential romantic entanglement that had been ruled out. From the information that Severus had done his best to glean, there had been no one in Harry's life beyond his friends and surrogate family. He wasn't sure why he continued to try and discern the details about Harry's romantic life, or lack thereof, but there was part of him that needed to know if there was anyone who held importance in Harry's life.

He had lived with the man for nearly three months and there had been no sign of anything like that. Surely, if such a person existed, there would have been some evidence of it by now? He had tried to tell himself that it didn't matter either way, but as time went on, he was finding it thoroughly impossible to deny that he was attracted to Harry, and that that attraction wasn't solely a physical thing either.

"I'm knackered," Harry said, breaking the silence and cutting into his thoughts. "I can't look at any more paperwork, my eyes feel like sandpaper."

"Perhaps it's time to call it a day, it is Sunday after all."

"Mm," said Harry thoughtfully, casting a look out of the window and seeing that although it was early December, the weather was fine. "Fancy going for a ride?"

"I beg your pardon?" Severus asked, bemused.

Harry grinned at him and stood up from the sofa, holding his hand out expectantly. Severus took it, ignoring the thrill that went through him at the contact, and Harry pulled him gently to his feet. He led him out of the house and round to the outbuilding that wasn't being used as Severus' workshop.

Letting go of Severus' hand, Harry opened the heavy wooden door and moved inside, turning on the electric light and throwing a large dust sheet off something that was sitting in the middle of the building. Severus stared at it for a moment before looking back up at Harry and saying, "Tell me that isn't what I think it is."

Harry gave him a wistful smile. "Sirius' motorbike," he confirmed. "It's perfect for the roads around here and I have to say, it's nice not to have to apparate everywhere. Do you fancy it?"

"You want me to get on that thing?" Severus said incredulously.

"You might like it, you can't know if you don't try," Harry said, a teasing air to his manner.

"Funny, I've never had pins stuck in my eyes, but somehow I just know I wouldn't like it."

Harry laughed and moved closer to him, grabbing his forearms gently and saying, "You might surprise yourself, you could become a biking enthusiast and start dressing head to toe in leather. Now there's a thought," Harry added, and Severus' eyes widened at the suggestive smirk that Harry was wearing.

"Go on," Harry said, giving his arm a squeeze. "We won't go far, just a couple of miles. We could go to this nice little pub I know, get some dinner. How about that?"

"We'll freeze, it's winter," Severus said, hoping that common sense might prevail.

"Warming charms, Severus," Harry said with an indulgent smile, making Severus feel like a 5-year-old who had entered into negotiations to eat the last bit of broccoli on his plate.

"I – " Severus started to say, but Harry stepped closer and looked up at him with a smile, placing a hand on his shoulder as he murmured softly,

"I'll look after you, promise."

Severus did his best to fix Harry with a glare, but it seemed that the expression didn't slide onto his face as easily as it had once done, and by the look on Harry's face, it had had little to no effect anyway.

"Fine," he said with a resigned sigh.

Harry grinned and gave his shoulder a squeeze before moving over to the shelf against the back wall and fetching a couple of helmets, moving back to Severus and proffering one to him. Severus rolled his eyes, but took it nevertheless and said,

"You're only doing this to make me look like a bloody idiot."

"No," Harry said, grabbing the bike by the handles and carefully moving it out of the shed, "I'm doing this to take advantage of you wrapping your arms around me."

It was said with a grin and with a good deal of flippancy, so much so that it could have been a casual remark made teasingly between friends, but the jolt that went through Severus was a good deal more than platonic. He recovered himself quickly and climbed onto the bike behind Harry, sliding his arms around the man's slim waist and feeling very grateful that Harry couldn't see the blush that was fighting to creep over his cheeks.

The bike sprang into life and Harry murmured, "Hold on tightly," before they were off. He had expected Harry to tear out and race along the winding country roads, but he demonstrated more sense than Severus had credited him with and he found himself being transported along at a very comfortable pace, able to take in the countryside as they went.

Trying not to focus on his proximity to Harry's body proved difficult. He was pressed up against the man's back, gripping his waist firmly and able to feel the muscles beneath his hands as Harry's body twisted and turned as he controlled the bike. It was as close as he had ever been to the man, but a certain physical closeness had begun to exist between them before that moment.

It had been happening since the night they had sat together when Harry had returned from the wedding drunk. It was always casual, sometimes barely perceptible, but Severus took note nevertheless. Harry's hand always found its way to his shoulder, or would settle in the small of his back when he moved past him in the kitchen or the makeshift potions lab. Harry seemed to touch him naturally, seemed almost compelled to at times, and Severus felt closer to him as a result.

It had been a life devoid of such contact for Severus. His father had only ever laid hands on him in anger and his mother had been beaten into disinterest, showing him only the most fleeting displays of affection. He had taken people to his bed many times, but there had been nothing but the most basic of needs attended to on each occasion. The intimacy that he felt in Harry's innocuous touches was alien and overwhelming, but Severus couldn't say that he objected. Rather the opposite, if truth were known.

They rode for about half an hour, Harry careful not to stray outside the 30-mile wards that Severus' parole dictated. The warming charms held well, and Severus enjoyed the freedom that he felt as they meandered their way over the moors and slipped in and out of the pretty little villages that dotted along the route Harry took.

Eventually, they dipped down into a little valley and rode for a mile along an impossibly narrow road until they came to the pub that Harry had mentioned. It was old and quaint with a thatched roof and bowed walls, and Harry led them into a little snug to sit beside a cheery fire. Harry seemed to know the landlord and engaged in a pleasant conversation with him for a few moments, introducing Severus as an old friend who was visiting with him.

"You seem very familiar with this place," Severus said as he took a sip of the wine he had ordered, which turned out to be far more palatable than he had expected.

"It's a five-minute walk from Ron and Drake's place. We've spent many an evening here then tottered back pissed in the small hours. I'm very well acquainted with their sofa. Of course," Harry added with a wry smile, "if they'd just open their eyes for five seconds I could have the benefit of the spare room but Draco's in there for now."

"They'll get there eventually," Severus said, allowing himself to return the smile. "It's as obvious as you said it was, even they won't be able to ignore it for much longer."

"I hope you're right. They deserve some happiness and I really think they'd be good together. Ron seems to soften all Drake's edges and Drake…he gives Ron a purpose, someone to take care of. He needs that, he needs someone to love."

"I was given to understand that most people did," Severus said softly, and Harry looked up at him with a smile.

"Yeah…I suppose they do."

Harry raised his hand to pick at the wax the candle had dripped onto the table and Severus noticed the scar that ran down the back of it. It looked old but there was something about it that was angry still, something that spoke of a wound inflicted by magic.

"How did you get that?" Severus asked, nodding to Harry's hand.

Harry glanced down at the scar and something flickered across his eyes for a moment before he laid his other hand on top of it and said quietly, "Umbridge."

"Umbridge?" Severus repeated, feeling hot bile rise in this throat. "How?"

Harry sighed and a flush spread up the side of his neck. "It was a punishment," he said, keeping his eyes down. "She had a quill…she made me write lines…each time I did the writing…etched itself into my hand."

"What did she make you write?" Severus asked, horrified.

"I must not tell lies," Harry said softly, keeping his scarred hand covered with his unblemished one.

"That fucking bitch," Severus said through clenched teeth, his anger barely containing itself.

Harry looked up at him, surprise evident in his features. It made Severus' stomach coil unpleasantly and he tried to control himself as he said, "I know I would never have won the prize for your favourite teacher, but I never harmed the students in my care. I would never have been so vicious, nor would I ever have violated the trust placed in me in such a position."

"You don't think I know that?" Harry asked, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I know the kind of man you are, and I know you would never have behaved the way she did."

Severus felt his indignation deflate, but the anger he felt for what had been done to Harry still burnt hotly. He reached out and pulled Harry's scarred hand out from underneath the hand that covered it and held it gently in his own. He traced one long finger over the scarring and heard a small intake of breath from Harry.

"This should not have been done to you," he said. "Did you not think to tell someone?"

"Who?" Harry said, and the bitterness in his voice made Severus look up and meet his eyes. "She was in a position of power and made me believe that I deserved it, that she was justified. Who would I have gone to? She had the school in the palm of her hand and there was no one I could…It doesn't matter now," he said with a heavy sigh.

"Abuse always matters, Harry," Severus said softly, continuing to stroke the skin of Harry's hand. "When people abuse the power they have, when they use it to harm or debase others, it matters."

Harry looked at him carefully and Severus felt exposed under the scrutiny. "If I'd have come to you, if I'd have told you what was going on, would you have helped me?"

Severus cleared his throat, knowing that Harry already knew the answer to his question. "I – "

"No," Harry said sadly, "you wouldn't have done. You would have told me I deserved it and thrown me out."

"I don't need to be confronted with the mistakes of the past," Severus said more harshly than he had intended to.

Harry removed his hand from Severus' and held it in his lap. "And I don't mean to bring them up, but perhaps I still have things to reconcile in my mind about how you treated me."

"Harry – " Severus began, wishing more than anything not to have this conversation.

"I'm not trying to hurt you," Harry interrupted, frowning down at the hand in his lap. "And I understand you more than you think I do, but it doesn't change the fact that there are still wounds that have yet to heal, things we have yet to get past."

"And will we?" Severus asked, fearing the answer.

"Of course," Harry said with a conviction that Severus wanted to believe. "There are regrets on both sides, things both of us would have changed if we could. These things take time, but it's something that we both need."

"I may need it," Severus said, his voice harsh, "but do you truly believe I deserve it?"

"More than most," Harry said, reaching up and taking his hand once more.

"Is that why you wanted me freed from Azkaban? To aid in your healing?" Severus asked, his question tinged with a hint of bitterness.

Harry's expression hardened for a moment, then he let out a long breath and shook his head, saying, "No, and you damn well know it."

Harry went to remove his hand but Severus gripped it and held it in place, lacing his long fingers with Harry's own and squeezing gently. He tried to search for the right words, to form an apology or a retraction, but his mind wouldn't co-operate. Harry met his eyes and eventually a small smile teased across his lips and crinkled the corner of his eyes. He nodded gently and laid his free hand on top of their joined hands and stroked the back of Severus' own, sending a small jolt of pleasure through Severus as he did so.

"You said that we should start to come to terms with the men we are now rather than the ones we once were," Harry said quietly. "You were right, we should try and let the past go, but it will take time."

"I'm willing if you are."

"More than you know," Harry whispered, and something that Severus couldn't read settled in his features. There was still so much to this man that he didn't understand, so much that had happened to him that had made him the person he now was, and Severus knew that few would get to learn the things that he wished to.

He wanted to learn them, wanted to know Harry, to understand him, and as he sat with the man's hand linked with his own, he vowed to endeavour to be worthy of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the update, please leave me a comment and let me know : )


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Tell me how the conversation between you and Professor Dumbledore went. Can you remember what date it took place?"

"Date?" Severus echoed, looking across at Hermione in slight bewilderment. "No, no I can't. Not exactly anyway. It was…straight after Narcissa came to see me, before term began I suppose."

Hermione nodded and scribbled away at her notes. "And what exactly did Professor Dumbledore say?"

"You want the conversation word-for-word?" Severus asked, his palms beginning to prickle.

"I need it to be as detailed as possible," Hermione said, her expression apologetic. "I know this is difficult – "

"That is rather an understatement," Severus replied, trying his best not to be rude. He was deeply uncomfortable and having to deal with emotions that he had never truly been able to come to terms with was proving very difficult. He knew it had to be done, he knew that all this would have to be picked over in court and that to be as prepared as possible was to his advantage, but it didn't make it any easier.

"If you'd rather, we can leave this for now and I can come back another time," Hermione said gently.

"No," Severus said with a sigh. "My apologies, I know that this is necessary, it's just…"

"I know," Hermione said, and Severus tried not to wince at the look of sympathy in her eyes.

"I have a suggestion," came Harry's voice, and Severus tilted his head as Harry came to perch on the edge of his armchair. "Perhaps it would be easier if you wrote this all down, like a statement. 'Mione, you can leave a list of your questions to guide the kind of information you need and Severus can get it all down in his own time."

"Would that be acceptable?" Severus asked Hermione, turning back to face her.

"Yes, that would work. Just please try and be as detailed as you can. Let me get some questions written down for you," she muttered, finding a blank sheet of paper and beginning to scribble on it.

Severus felt Harry's hand come to rest on his shoulder and he resisted the urge to smile, letting the warmth of it spread through his body. It moved slightly to the nape of his neck and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into it, wondering how Harry managed to be so easy with his affections, or if he even realised he was doing it.

Hermione looked up and her eyes flickered briefly to Harry's hand, before she lowered them to the paper on her lap again. "Are you still ok to have us all over for Christmas Eve?" she asked as she continued to write, her quill scratching noisily.

"Of course," Harry replied, and Severus nearly bit the inside of his cheek as the man's thumb began to brush softly against his skin. "I'm really looking forward to it. Severus is going to make canapés, aren't you?" he teased, and Severus looked up at him with as scathing a look as he could manage.

"I'll be making sure yours have a healthy dose of poison in them."

Harry chuckled and said, "Your threats don't scare me."

"It'll be strange not having you at the Burrow for Christmas Day," Hermione said, and Harry looked over at her, saying with a shrug,

"It's just this year, there'll be plenty of others."

"True."

There was silence for a moment as Hermione continued to write down her questions, and Severus contemplated how different this Christmas would be for him. The last two ones had of course been hell on earth, indeed he hadn't even realised it had been Christmas with the days bleeding into one another with little to distinguish them. It wasn't as if the inmates of Azkaban held their own Christmas party complete with finger food and parlour games.

If he was completely honest, his Christmases before his incarceration hadn't been much better. When he had been at Hogwarts they had been lonely, spent with the teachers who had never been friends and a small smattering of students who had hated him. The festive periods of his youth didn't even bear thinking about. His father had been drunk by ten o'clock while his mother had cried over the Christmas dinner. Presents had been non-existent, and any festive cheer was knocked out of him with dizzying alacrity.

The thought of spending a Christmas in this cosy place, which Harry had decorated with charming enthusiasm, was one that had filled him with more happiness than he had felt in a while.

"Right," said Hermione, finishing writing and placing the parchment on the table in front of her. "Those questions should serve as a useful guideline for the sort of information we'll need. I know it's hard, but please try and give as much information as you can."

"I will," Severus said, trying to disguise the heavy sigh that forced itself from his chest.

"It's all necessary, I promise," said Hermione, packing her things away in the satchel she always carried. "I should be on my way, I have to go and see Blaise."

"Oh yes?" Harry said with a teasing smile.

"Oh shut up," Hermione said as a blush spread across her cheeks. "It's a professional meeting, as well you bloody know."

She must have been ruffled, Severus thought, as Hermione descended to swearing only rarely. He had heard mention of his former student a couple of times, and he was aware that Blaise worked with the foundation in a legal capacity. His uncle was a partner in a very well-regarded law firm, and Blaise was apprenticed to them.

He himself had fallen foul of the Ministry and had had a very brief stay in Azkaban, which was overturned in a matter of weeks as a great many people testified that he had fought alongside them in the final battle. He was, as far as Harry and the others were concerned, as good a representation of the iniquity of locking up Slytherins as could be found, and he wasn't above capitalising on that to help their cases.

"Of course," Harry said, continuing to smile as he rose from his perch on the arm of Severus' chair to show Hermione out.

They continued bickering into the porch and Severus shook his head as he made his way into the kitchen, intent on making himself a cup of tea. He didn't bother fixing one for Harry as the man seemed to be determined to drink nothing but hot chocolate in the run up to Christmas, and had relented only to drink the mulled wine he had constantly brewing in the slow cooker.

He had tried very hard to be disdainful of Harry's childlike enthusiasm for Christmas, and he had even managed a sneer or two on occasion, but it was a poor showing and he knew it. Harry's love of the season was disconcertingly charming, and Severus fought hard against the growing affection he felt for the man with each endearing display of enjoyment at the period's festivities.

"Just professional my arse," Harry murmured as he came back into the kitchen, placing his hands on Severus' hips as he moved past him. "She fancies the pants off him. Not that I can blame her, he is bloody gorgeous."

"Oh yes?" Severus asked, turning to face Harry with a quirk of his eyebrow. "I didn't realise you harboured such fantasies."

Harry grinned at him. "I don't, honestly, just from an entirely objective point of view, Blaise is pretty damn easy on the eye. Everyone fancied him at school, boys and girls alike. It was universal."

"Oh, to be so adored," Severus said, rolling his eyes.

Harry chuckled and moved to the slow cooker to check on his latest batch of mulled wine, giving the pot a sniff and smiling approvingly at it. "That might be my best yet," he said, looking back up at Severus.

"I'm surprised you don't slosh when you walk, the amount of that stuff you've put away in the last few days."

"Tis the season," said Harry happily, and Severus once again found himself imbued with Harry's enjoyment.

Severus settled himself at the kitchen table and reached for a clementine from the bowl Harry had placed there. The whole house was full of them and the smell was delicious. He began to peel the waxy skin away and looked up at Harry, saying,

"Why aren't you going to the Burrow for Christmas Day? I was given to understand that it was a tradition."

"It is," said Harry, leaning against the counter and folding his arms across his chest. "But not this year."

"Why not?" Severus asked, fearing that he already knew the answer.

"The Burrow is outside the 30-mile lockdown," Harry said, his expression soft.

"Harry – "

"Severus, if you're about to suggest that I leave you to spend Christmas day on your own then I invite you to rethink such a suggestion," Harry said firmly, and Severus couldn't help but smile in spite of himself.

"They're your family," he protested, "you should be spending the day with them."

"I'll see them on Christmas Eve."

"But – "

"That's an end to the matter," Harry said, pushing himself off the counter and moving out into the living room.

Severus had never really expected him to yield, but he couldn't help feeling guilty that Harry was missing out on Christmas with his family because of him. Still, the thought of a quiet Christmas spent with Harry was one that filled him with more warmth than he would have admitted to anyone.

"You need to come and let me do the healing spell on your wound," Harry called, and Severus felt the usual tingle of anticipation race through him at the thought of Harry's hands on him.

He rose from the table and moved to join Harry in the living room, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt as he went. His fingers were stiff, the cold of December was playing havoc with his joints and he felt as though he were 100 years old with all the aches and creaks of his body.

"Let me," Harry said, coming to stand in front of him. He gently brushed Severus' hands aside and began to undo the buttons slowly. His hands slid the shirt from his shoulder then gently traced the scar on his throat. Severus inclined his head slightly and tried to look away but he couldn't help himself from studying the face in front of his own.

Harry's cheekbones were sharper than they had been in his boyhood and his face had become more angular with age. There was a light dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose that Severus had never noticed in previous years and he was appalled to find that he found them delightfully endearing. Dear God, what had happened to him?

"It's healing nicely," Harry said softly, his warm breath ghosting over Severus' skin. He touched his wand to the scar and began muttering the healing spell, his fingertips following the line of his wand. Severus tried his best to keep his body under control, tried not to let it respond to Harry's proximity and the feel of his gentle fingers teasing over his skin.

He felt the magic dance along his nerves, felt it soothe the wound and continue to rid his body of the vestiges of the poison it still held in his system. He was convinced that his time in Azkaban wouldn't have taken such a heavy toll on his body if his wound had been properly treated to begin with. It had drained him of what little resources he had and had continued to play havoc with his battered system as he had languished under the inhuman conditions of the prison.

"Are you still there?" Harry said with a smile as he finished the spell.

"Mm?" Severus asked, giving himself a mental shake and meeting Harry's eyes.

"You always go a bit faraway when I do the spell," Harry said as Severus began to shrug himself back into his shirt once again.

"I was just…allowing myself to feel the benefit of the healing," Severus said softly.

Harry began to do up the buttons of his shirt and Severus couldn't help but think that it was the first time in his life he had ever been treated with anything that remotely resembled tenderness.

"I'm glad it's helping," Harry said, and Severus closed his hand over Harry's halting his movements.

"More than you could know," he said, holding Harry's hand to his chest gently.

He had never wanted anything more than to lean down and press his lips to Harry's, to take the man in his arms and claim him with an intensity he had never felt before. He couldn't though, he knew that. Harry deserved better than him, better than a withered old spectre with a tainted past and blood on his hands. He would be rejected, there was nothing more certain, and he would deserve to be so.

"I'd better attend to my afternoon's brewing," he said, his voice sounding strained. He released Harry's hand and stepped back, doing the remainder of his buttons up himself.

"Yes," Harry said, and it was too much to hope that there was a flicker of disappointment in his eyes as he did so. "Give me a shout if you need my help with anything."

"I shall."

* * *

He had known that Christmas had the potential to be a time filled with laughter and cheer, but it was not until he sat in Harry's home on Christmas Eve with a house full of Harry's family that he actually managed to experience it for himself.

All the Weasleys were there, along with Draco and Hermione, and Andromeda had also arrived with Teddy in tow. Harry had attached a charmed little marquee onto the house to give them all a little more space as the house wasn't big enough to accommodate everyone, and people were milling in and out easily as they moved from conversation to conversation and group to group.

It had all been rather overwhelming at first, and Severus had retreated to the kitchen, pressing himself against the back wall, ostensibly helping Harry with the food, but really just trying to escape an atmosphere he had no understanding of. Harry had smiled in understanding and had whispered that he didn't need to go back out if he didn't want to, but as the evening wore on, and as Ron continued to keep his glass topped up, he had ventured out into the living room.

He found that he was still largely unable to partake in the proceedings, but found that a vicarious enjoyment could be felt simply by sitting and letting things wash over him. The conversations that permeated around his head were all lively and good-natured, and where once he would have sneered at the cosiness and simplicity of such a wholesome gathering, he now found himself taking pleasure in it.

The Weasleys had been respectful of his introverted nature, and while all had greeted him, more warmly than he would have expected, they largely left him to himself. Bill had engaged him in an entertaining conversation and George had approached him a couple of times with an offer of food. It was obvious how much the man was suffering without his twin, and although Severus had been assured that the man was better than he had been, his loss was palpable, and Severus felt an uncomfortable pang of sympathy for him.

Apart from Harry, who still seemed close to the man after having lived with him briefly, it seemed that Draco was the only one who could tempt a genuine smile from the man. From listening to the snatches of conversations throughout the evening, Severus gleaned that Draco now worked with George in the shop he had set up with Fred years before.

Draco now had very little of his own money. The majority of the Malfoy assets had been seized by the Ministry and it was unlikely that he would ever be able to lay claim to his inheritance. The money he now had he had earnt through working as an accountant for George, as well as doing several shifts in the shop itself. Severus would never have believed it, but it seemed that Draco was enjoying the work, and that he and George had formed a close friendship as a result.

To see Draco interact with the rest of the Weasleys was something of an eye-opener. Of course, he had been told how close the man had become to them, and he had seen for himself how much Draco had changed, but he would never have thought that so much affection could exist between the loving family and the haughty, prejudiced child the man had once been.

It was obvious how highly he regarded Molly, and, with her usual capacity for care and affection, she treated Draco like one of her own. He had always needed the sort of attention that Molly could give, and it was obvious that he was benefitting from the kind of mother's love that he had never really known from Narcissa.

There were no barriers with the Weasleys, no standing upon ceremony and no holding back where feelings were concerned. To Severus, it was a little overwhelming, and he imagined that it would have been too for Draco initially, but now he seemed to truly thrive under the family's attentions.

"Here," came a voice to his left, and he turned to see Ron standing beside him, holding a small snifter of brandy.

"Thank you," Severus said as he accepted it, and Ron perched on the edge of the sofa opposite.

"Don't tell Harry I gave it to you, he's very upset you haven't had any of his mulled wine, or his eggnog," Ron said with a grin.

"American nonsense," Severus sniffed. "No one ever used to drink eggnog in this country. I blame that thing," he said, nodding his head in the direction of the television.

Ron laughed, the sound rich and deep, reverberating through his chest and settling pleasantly across Severus' senses. The man was so grown up, so different to the slightly bewildered teenager he could remember, and he had to admit, brandy or no, that he rather liked him.

"Draco seems well," Severus said softly, and Ron followed the man's line of sight to see Draco standing with Charlie and Arthur, caught up in a lively and animated conversation, his eyes bright and a genuine smile on his face.

Severus watched as a warmth settled over Ron's features and he looked at Draco with such tender affection that Severus found it impossible to believe that neither man realised the depth of their feelings.

"He likes being with the family," Ron said softly, turning back to face Severus, the tips of his ears slightly pink, and his freckles standing out more plainly against his cheeks. "It does him good to be surrounded with them all. It would send most people mad, it sends _me_ mad half the time, but he just…drinks it all in."

Severus could see how much it meant to Ron that the person he cared about so deeply felt that way about his family, that he had found someone who not only fitted in with those he loved, but who loved them as much as he did.

"I can see how much he benefits from them," Severus said, and Ron smiled at him, the expression open and warm.

"He does," Ron agreed, obviously pleased with Severus' assessment. "And if he can put up with my mum's overbearing attempts to mother him to death, then he's a better man than I am."

"I'm fairly certain that Draco would put up with nothing that he didn't enjoy."

"True, very true."

Ron leant back in the sofa and cast an eye about the room with a contented smile, grinning as he set eyes on Harry, who was sitting on the floor with Teddy in his lap, an array of presents surrounding them. Ron shook his head fondly and said,

"He spoils that child rotten. He takes his godparenting duties very seriously."

Severus looked to where Harry sat, cuddling Teddy happily and helping him to unwrap yet another present. It was clear how much he loved the little boy, and Teddy, in turn, obviously adored Harry in equal measure.

It had been rather jarring for Severus to meet Andromeda, to come face-to-face with a woman who so strongly resembled Bella, but when the initial shock subsided, he had been able to see that Andromeda's eyes held a warmth that Bella's manic eyes never had. Andromeda had a kind, gentle face, and, never having suffered from poor health through incarceration in Azkaban, she had a softness to her features that Bella had never possessed.

To Severus, it seemed that the woman wore her loss like a cloak. She smiled and laughed, but it never quite managed to reach her eyes, and he rather suspected that were it not for the fact that she had a toddler to look after, she may well have followed her husband and daughter to the afterlife. Indeed, for all that she came across as robust and capable, there was a frailty to her that told of underlying health problems, and Severus found himself wondering if the woman was long for this world.

"He does seem to be a natural with children," Severus replied before taking a sip of his brandy and letting the warm flavours envelop on his tongue.

"No comments about making friends with someone who matches his intelligence?" Ron teased. "My, how times have changed."

Well that was an understatement, Severus thought wryly. Times had changed so much that he wasn't sure he recognised either himself or anyone else he had once known. To think that he was sitting in a room full of former Gryffindors, people he had sneered at and terrorised for a good portion of their lives, who were responsible for his liberty and who had welcomed him into their lives was enough to make his head spin.

"It'll get easier," Ron said softly, and Severus turned to meet gentle blue eyes.

"I was not aware you were adept at Legilimency," he said with a raised eyebrow.

Ron gave a soft laugh and leant forward a little. "I've lived with Draco for nearly two years, I understand a little something about what you're going through. The world's changed without giving you a chance to get used to it, or to understand it. You have no idea what your place could possibly be in this strange new set-up and you feel as though you're on a merry-go-round that just won't stop long enough for you to find your feet."

Severus blinked at Ron for a moment, wondering how it was possible for the man to vocalise the thoughts that constantly galloped through his mind. "How – " he began, but Ron shook his head with a wry smile.

"I understand more than people think," he said quietly. "I know it's difficult, I know that you feel cut adrift and confused, but it will get better, I promise."

"Not if this all falls apart and they end up throwing me back in Azkaban," Severus replied, unable to stop himself.

"Do you really think Harry will let that happen?" Ron asked, those gentle blue eyes flashing with something deeper.

"I can't continue to owe my life to him," Severus said, feeling his hackles rise slightly.

"Too late, you already do. I suggest you reconcile yourself to it," Ron said firmly.

"Don't think me ungrateful," Severus said, frustrated with himself.

"I don't," Ron said gently. "You're a proud man, Severus, with a bloody difficult history, but you need to learn to accept what's been given you, and to accept the person who's giving it."

Severus released a heavy sigh and Ron clapped a large hand on his shoulder, saying quietly, "Believe me when I say that you'll only get through this by learning to rely on people. It's a daunting prospect I grant you, but it'll pay dividends in the end."

Severus had nothing to say to that pearl of wisdom, and he found himself wishing that Ron was still a gangly teenager that he could terrify with a well-timed arch of his eyebrow. Seeming to sense that Severus needed a little time to mull over his well-meaning words, Ron gave a small nod and tapped Severus' knee lightly before he stood from the sofa and made his way to join Draco and his father over the other side of the room.

Severus sat quietly for the next half an hour or so, letting the evening wash over him as it had done before his conversation with Ron. He was disconcerted, it was true, but the rational part of his brain that still existed told him that the man was right; he needed to start letting go of the things that had led to his downfall in the first place.

Eventually, when the carolling and jovial games became a little too much for him, he decided to retreat into the kitchen under the guise of helping Harry with the next round of food. The man had made far too much, and had spent a large portion of the evening darting in and out of the kitchen to load the oven up with more morsels, despite people's protests that they were full.

Severus paused a little way into the kitchen and watched as Harry flitted around the room, a battalion of baking trays laden with food hovering at his shoulder as he glared into the oven and tried to find a way of making them all fit. There was a decidedly saccharine smile trying to make its way onto Severus' face as he watched the man, and he fought with every ounce of strength that he possessed to keep it at bay.

"Do you need some help?" he asked, and Harry turned to face him with a slightly frazzled expression.

"No, no, everything's under control," he said, turning back to the oven and stuffing the trays one-by-one into it, then giving it a faintly murderous look as though to warn it against turning on him. "I just hope I've timed the mini-quiches right," he said, turning to face Severus again. "They can be right buggers when they want to be."

His defences faltered under Harry's description of the innocuous dishes, and the smile won, tugging at the corners of his mouth despite his attempts to stop it. "I'm sure they'll be perfect, just like everything else tonight."

Harry returned his smile and moved a little closer. "Are you managing to enjoy yourself? I haven't seen you scowl too much."

"It's been…tolerable," Severus said, and Harry grinned at him.

"Do you really think I don't speak your language? I'm fluent now, Professor. 'Tolerable' means that you've had more fun than you expected and you're not going to hex me to kingdom come for making you go through it."

"That's what you think, is it?" Severus asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"That's what I _know_ ," Harry corrected. "I'm right, aren't I? This was ok for you?"

Severus could hear the concern in his voice, the worry that he had forced Severus into something he'd hated, and Severus felt a rush of warmth settle in his chest.

"You really needn't trouble yourself," he said shaking his head dismissively.

"I do need to," Harry said softly, and Severus raised a questioning eyebrow. "This is your home, I want you to feel comfortable here, to be happy here."

Severus didn't know what to say to that. How could he tell Harry that the last few months had been the happiest and most content of his life? How could he tell the man that the wonky little house in the middle of nowhere felt more like home to him than anywhere had done, even Hogwarts? He cleared his throat, his mouth feeling suddenly dry, and said,

"Harry, whatever concerns you may have, let me assure you that they're unfounded."

Harry's smile went all the way to his eyes, and something in Severus' stomach coiled hotly. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull Harry into his arms, to hold him and kiss that beautiful mouth, but he knew he couldn't. Harry was meant for better than him, for a man whose soul wasn't tainted with murder and bloodshed, a man who could give him everything he deserved.

"I think I might take a few moments in the library," he said, hoping his voice didn't sound as strained as it felt. He tried to affect a smirk and said, "I believe some time away from the Weasley hordes would serve to keep my impending headache at bay."

"Of course," Harry said, reaching out and gripping his forearm gently, rubbing his thumb against the material of Severus' shirt. "Just make sure you come back for my amazing quiches, if the little bastards don't betray me," he added, casting a baleful look back to the oven.

Severus gave a soft snort and Harry released his arm. Every time Harry stopped touching him Severus couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, but he stamped it down firmly and made his retreat to the library.

It seemed, however, that his idea to seek solitude in the cosy little room had already been seized upon by other opportunists. As he neared the doorway, he saw Ron and Draco standing in front of the cheery little fireplace. Draco's hands were resting on Ron's waist, while Ron had one hand resting on the small of Draco's back, the other placed on his cheek.

They were murmuring softly, smiling shyly at one another, their eyes bright and vibrant. Slowly, Ron lowered his head and met Draco's lips in a soft and gentle kiss, pulling the man closely against his body. It was so tender, so sweet that Severus couldn't help but smile as he watched them melt into one another, finally giving in to the feelings that were so palpable.

It was a private moment, one that they deserved, one that Severus wished he could share with Harry. He turned around and moved away from the door, leaving the two men alone to enjoy their time together.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll all forgive me for dumping Christmas on you in the middle of summer, a little odd, I know. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave a comment and let me know.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

This, Severus decided, was his punishment, his penance. Two years in Azkaban was simply the warm-up for what would follow. This was how he was truly being made to suffer for Albus, for Lily, for all the souls whose deaths he was responsible for, by falling in love with Harry Bloody Potter.

He tried to rail against it, to deny it, to squash it down and ignore it, but it wouldn't be dismissed so easily. He tried to reason that it was simply a case of displacement, that he had muddled feelings where Harry was concerned because, to all intents and purposes, the man had acted as his saviour. His brain, perhaps, might have swallowed this explanation, but his heart would not be so easily fooled.

Living with the man had brought him face-to-face with the person Harry had become, a man who was intelligent, witty, generous and gentle, a man who used every ounce of strength and purpose he possessed to fight the injustices that he saw in the world around him. He found himself proud of Harry, humbled by his goodness, his strength of character, and he knew that he himself was rendered a pathetic specimen by comparison.

"Don't you just love Christmas morning?" Harry asked with a grin as he flitted around the kitchen preparing their lunch.

"I have never felt that way, no," Severus replied, sipping his bucks fizz as he sat at the kitchen table, watching Harry's preparations and trying not to let his fondness for the man show on his face. "My previous Christmases have…not been as pleasant as this."

Harry's grin softened to a gentle smile. "I hope…I hope I can make this one alright for you."

"It's infinitely more than 'alright', Harry," Severus said quietly, and Harry gave him that look that rendered him a simpering moron. He mentally kicked himself and told himself to pull it together before he let Harry see what was in his mind.

Harry turned back to the oven and inspected the turkey crown, then busied himself with peeling the potatoes, Severus unable to keep his eyes off the man as he moved. He was finding it more and more difficult to do so, captivated as he was. He was sure he was giving himself away, sure that Harry could sense his eyes on him all the time, but he just couldn't bring himself to stop.

There had been so little beauty in his life, so little good, that Harry's presence day after day was overwhelming. He had grown into a striking man, his features a mix of hard and soft, and Severus found himself loving every aspect of the man's face, particularly the delicate dusting of freckles across the bridge of the man's nose that he found utterly endearing.

"Well, it all should be ready in an hour…give or take," Harry added with a glance towards the oven. He took a seat at the table across from Severus and rested his chin on his fist, his green eyes searching Severus' face, Severus unable to decipher quite why he was being scrutinised.

"I wasn't sure…what to do about presents," he said eventually, taking Severus by surprise. "It seemed a bit…I don't know…awkward? There is something that I want to give you though…or perhaps, something that I want to _tell_ you would be more accurate. You can count it as a present if you like."

Confused, Severus raised a questioning eyebrow and Harry placed his hands on the table in front of him, flattening his palms against the wood and tapping his fingers lightly. Severus knew it was a sign that the man was nervous, and he wondered what it was that Harry had to tell him.

"We've told you quite a bit about what's happened in the wizarding world in your absence, and I know that you know about all Slytherin property being seized, about Slytherins losing their right to own property."

Severus nodded, failing to understand why they were having this conversation, not understanding how it could possibly constitute an offering of a Christmas present.

"I haven't told you before now because I thought you had enough on your plate, I just wanted to let you adjust to finding your feet again, but…"

"Harry, what are you trying to tell me?" Severus asked gently.

Harry ran his tongue along his bottom lip, then drew it into his mouth and held it between his teeth for a moment. Severus' body reacted in the usual way to the familiar gesture but he sternly told himself to halt such nonsense, which was easier said than done.

"Ron, Hermione and I…took certain steps to…protect Spinner's End," Harry said quietly. "With it being a muggle property, it wasn't Ministry-registered so they had no record of it. We knew though that they'd start looking into it, that they'd find it and use whatever means necessary to seize it, going through the muggle Land Registry and falsifying records or Confunding officials…well…the possibilities are endless."

Harry took a breath and tapped his fingers a little more quickly on the surface of the table. "Don't ask me the specifics, Hermione took care of it. All I know is that there are some pretty serious concealment spells involved and that the Ministry haven't got a hope in hell of finding the place. So, what I'm trying to say is that…Spinner's End is still yours, and always will be.

"I know you don't exactly have fond memories of the place, and I know there's no sentiment involved, but it means that you own something, that it's yours to do what you want with, sell it if you like, give yourself some…some security."

Severus sat in silence, staring down at the rough grain of the wood of the table, trying to take in everything Harry had said. He had been told weeks ago about the seizing of all Slytherin property, and he knew that Draco had very little left to his name; he had been given no reason to think that his situation would be otherwise.

"Are you angry?" Harry's voice cut gently through his thoughts, and he looked up at the man with a frown.

"What on earth would I be angry about?" he asked.

"That I didn't tell you sooner," Harry replied, green eyes earnest. "I should have done, I know, but I just didn't want to bombard you with everything all at once."

"Harry," Severus said, his voice heavy, "you went to extraordinary lengths, no doubt doing some very illegal things along the way to do this for me. How could I be anything but profoundly grateful?" he asked, feeling an uncomfortable constriction across his chest.

He didn't know what else to say, or rather, how to say it. He took a deep breath and slowly rose from the table, saying quietly, "I think I might just get some air for a couple of minutes."

Harry rose as well and stood opposite him, his face conveying his worry. Severus tried to make his expression as reassuring as he could and, against his better judgement, reached out and gently cupped Harry's cheek, a jolt going through his system at the contact. "You keep an eye on lunch, I'll be back in soon."

A flush swept across Harry's face, brightening his eyes and highlighting the freckles on his nose. He gave Severus an uncertain smile and Severus returned it before removing his hand and leaving the room.

He walked through the living room and through the porch out into the garden. He stood for a moment or two, his head raised to the cold winter sun, before he moved to sit on the little metal bench that sat to the left of the front door.

He placed his palms on his knees and gazed ahead without really seeing, trying to process what Harry had just told him. He owned property. He had something that belonged to him, a place to go, should he so choose, or something to sell to secure his own funds. He had thought he had nothing, that he would be reliant on charity, specifically Harry's, for the foreseeable future, and to find that he had a means of securing some independence was somewhat staggering.

Again, he found himself bewildered by the lengths Harry had gone to to help him. It was true that now he considered that they were on a path to building what he hoped would be a solid friendship, but at the time Harry had acted, Severus had been nothing more to him than a dubious ally, a former hated teacher and a man he had discovered had a complicated past with his own mother.

Perhaps that was it? Perhaps Harry's realisation of the fact that Severus had once meant something to Lily was enough to propel the man into acting on his behalf. Maybe Harry had acted out of respect for Lily, or maybe, just maybe, his actions had been dictated by the knowledge that having Severus so indebted would be a useful weapon in his arsenal.

No, Severus thought with a shake of his head, that was not Harry's way. It was the way a Slytherin would think, it would have been the impetus behind his own actions if he had been in Harry's shoes. Harry, however, would never act for those sorts of reasons, but then, Severus found himself unable to fathom what the man's reasons _would_ be. Perhaps he simply didn't have enough of Harry's sheer goodness to understand his motives.

He stayed outside collecting his thoughts for so long that by the time he finally went back inside, Harry was plating up their Christmas dinner. By silent agreement, the house wasn't spoken about, neither was anything that could remotely be considered serious. They instead took several trips down memory lane, sticking to reminiscences that were light-hearted and bordering on wistful.

Harry recounted his memories of Christmases spent with the Weasleys, of the nonsense that the twins had got up to running Molly ragged and causing chaos as usual. They spoke of their shared time at Hogwarts and teased each other with memories of their old enmity and how it had manifested itself.

Severus regaled Harry with stories of his time as Head of Slytherin and the various mishaps and disasters he had had to deal with, including, much to Harry's delighted amusement, several cases of students who had believed themselves to have fallen in love with him. As he spoke, he couldn't help but wonder what had happened to all his students, what horrors they had been subjected to in the last couple of years, and although now was not the time to discuss it, he realised he still knew very little about what was happening in the world around him.

He knew it would have to be remedied sooner or later, he knew that Harry was waiting until the trial was out of the way before he burdened him with more information than he thought he could handle, but the weight of his lack of knowledge was starting to sit heavily on him.

After a particularly excellent dinner, Harry and Severus migrated to the living room, where they sat together on the sofa, and the easy, enjoyable conversation continued. A particularly fine bottle of red was opened and as Severus sat languidly sipping at it and engaging in the most comfortable conversation he had had in years, he felt able to say with certainty that this was the finest Christmas he had experienced.

"Honestly, Ron swears to God that it traumatised him," Harry said with a laugh as he finished telling Severus a story Ron had once told him about a prank the twins had played on him when he was little.

"I should think Fred and George are responsible for traumatising a good number of people," Severus replied with a smile, placing his glass on the table opposite.

There was a companionable silence for a few moments and Severus decided that he had had enough fortification to finally do what he had been putting off all day. He shifted himself on the sofa so he was properly facing Harry and took a breath before saying,

"I agree with your earlier sentiment on exchanging Christmas presents. It would have been a little awkward, and, given my current financial and geographical limitations, I had little opportunity to procure you anything. There is, however, something I would like to give you."

Harry's eyebrows rose questioningly and Severus reached into his pocket, producing a small vial and holding it out to the man. Harry took it, recognising what it was and holding the glass vial reverently in his hands.

"It's a memory of your mother that I believe you would like to see," Severus said quietly, and Harry looked up from the vial to smile at him. "You have Dumbledore's pensieve I believe?"

Harry nodded and said, "Yes. It's…been very useful over the years." He wrapped his fingers around the vial and held it in his fist, bringing it up to his chest and looking at Severus with an arresting expression. "Will you watch it with me?" he asked in a whisper.

"If you want me to," Severus replied, surprised that Harry had asked. He had thought that the man would want to view it privately, to keep it for his own, as Severus had done for so many years.

"I'll be right back," Harry said, getting up and ascending the stairs quickly. Severus only had a minute or two to prepare himself before Harry was back in the room, setting the familiar pensieve down on the table and uncorking the vial, letting the wispy tendrils of memory float into it.

He held out his hand and Severus rose from the sofa before he stood beside Harry and took the man's hand, ignoring the feeling that such contact ignited in him. They stood still for a moment before Harry gave his hand a quick squeeze, then they descended into the memory.

_~*~_

" _Isn't there a charm to shield your eyes from the sun?" Lily asked as she covered her eyes with her arm, stretching her legs out and taking a deep breath of the warm summer air._

" _I'm sure there is," Severus replied from his prone position beside her, his own eyes closed, his arms cross behind his head, "but I'm damned if I'm going to pick up one more book today."_

" _I never thought I'd hear a certified bookworm say such blasphemy," Lily giggled, and Severus grunted in response._

_They were both lying out in the grass by the lake, taking a well-earnt break from revision for their end-of-term exams. It was almost the end of their 4_ _th_ _year, and they hadn't had much time to see each other given their different house allegiances and heavy school workload._

" _Not long now," Lily said with a sigh, rolling onto her stomach and looking over at Severus. "A few more exams, the Leaving Feast, and then that's it, end of 4_ _th_ _year! Have you got any plans?"_

_Severus snorted and opened his eyes, giving Lily a look that he would not come to perfect for another decade or so. "What do you think?" he asked. "It's not really likely that my dad's going to take me on picnics every day or that my mum will be sober long enough to take me for a trip to the zoo. I'll be keeping out of their way as much as possible and trying to get my school work done without my bastard father finding it and tearing it to pieces…like he did last year."_

" _Oh Sev," Lily said, shaking her head sadly. "I won't be far away, you know that. We'll be able to see each other."_

" _You'll be busy," Severus said dismissively._

" _Not too busy for you," Lily insisted, and Severus rolled his eyes._

" _Don't make promises you can't keep, Lil, it never ends well."_

_There was silence for a moment before Lily gave a very loud huff and said darkly, "I hate your bloody father."_

" _No more than I do, I assure you," Severus replied wryly._

_Lily shook her head and looked down at Severus with frustrated concern. "I don't understand it," she said eventually and Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't understand why people have children when they're not prepared to actually be parents to them."_

" _I have been assured on numerous occasions that I was an accident, a catastrophe. I'm certain my father never intended to be a parent. Of course, he could have taken better care to ensure that never came to pass…done us all a favour."_

" _Don't say things like that," Lily said firmly, and Severus sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes again. "I just can't wrap my head around it," she said, obviously not ready to give up on her previous topic. "When I have children, I want them to know how much they're loved, how much I want them."_

_Severus cracked his eyes open again and looked at her with a smirk. "A little young to be thinking about children, aren't you?" he said teasingly, and she swatted him on the arm._

" _I'm talking about the future you prat."_

" _You want children then?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her better._

" _Yes, of course. Don't you?"_

" _No," Severus said definitely, "I most certainly do not."_

" _Well, I want a whole brood of them," Lily said with a grin. "I want to have a little boy first and then a couple of years later a little girl and then maybe twins after!"_

" _You're mad," Severus said, clearly unable to comprehend her desires for that kind of set up._

" _Oh it'd be lovely," Lily said, flinging herself back down in the grass. "I can't wait to be a mum."_

" _Lily, you're one of the brightest, most intelligent people I know. Why would you want to waste your life on motherhood?"_

" _Don't be such a complete prig, Sev," Lily admonished. "A person can be a parent and something else besides, it's not a bloody death sentence. I'm going to love being a mum," she said, smiling up at the leaves of the large oak tree that was partially obscuring the sky. "I'm going to be strict but fair, and I'm going to make up games and take them on outings. They're going to know that they can come and talk to me about everything, and I want to be able to cuddle up on the sofa with them and read stories and eat cookies and – "_

" _You sound like Mary Poppins on acid," Severus said with a sneer, but Lily wasn't remotely offended. She merely burst out laughing and rolled back onto her front to grin down at her friend._

" _You are the biggest grump I have ever known! I think I'm going to be a wonderful mum and I won't let you tell me any differently."_

_Severus expression softened as much as it was able and he said with a small smile, "I know you will, you've managed to look after me all these years haven't you?"_

" _Oh you," she said, giving his shoulder a friendly shove. "Come on, let's go and get something to eat, I'm starving!"_

_She stood up and held out a hand to Severus, hauling him to his feet and nearly sending them both toppling back over in the process._

" _Very well," Severus said, smoothing out his robes. "You can tell me more about this hideous brood you plan on spawning."_

_~*~_

Severus found himself standing back in Harry's living room, still holding the man's hand, feeling a rush of adrenaline at the sudden onslaught of memory and the feelings that rode alongside it. Harry was still staring down at the pensieve, looking as though he was trying to process what he had just seen.

"Wow," he whispered before slowly lowering himself back down to sit on the sofa, his fingers still gripping Severus' hand tightly. Severus sat beside him and watched as a gentle smile spread slowly across the man's face. "That was wonderful, thank you so much," Harry said, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

"You have every right – "

"No," Harry said softly, shaking his head and looking down at their entwined hands. He slowly moved his thumb across Severus' knuckles, the rough pad of his fingertip brushing against his skin. "They're your memories, you don't have to share them with anyone. It means so much to me that you have. Seeing her like that, hearing her talk about being a mother, I can't tell you how special that is."

"You were right," Severus said, realising that he was very much enjoying the feeling of his hand laced with Harry's, "a person should know who their parents were. It's up to the people who knew them to make that happen."

"I hope you know how much I appreciate it. That was a wonderful gift."

"It isn't nearly what it should be, it isn't enough – "

"It was perfect," Harry said, and Severus felt the corners of his mouth twitch in an attempt at a smile.

Harry took a deep breath then let it out in a contented sigh. He shifted himself around and moved a little closer, and before Severus could fully process what was happening, he found himself sitting back against the sofa with Harry cuddled up against him. He brought his arm down to tentatively rest around the man's shoulders, and when it seemed he wouldn't be pushed away, he tightened his hold and pulled Harry a little more firmly up against him.

It felt natural and thrilling all at once to sit so intimately, and as Harry's hand moved to lie against his chest he had to try and control the reactions his body was desperately trying to alert him to. He didn't understand it, he didn't understand why Harry would want to sit with him like this, why he would want this closeness, this unusual show of affection. He couldn't deny that it was wonderful though, and the feeling of having him in his arms was so far unparalleled in his experiences.

Harry cuddled in a little closer and Severus wished he had the courage to either stand up and leave or to push Harry backwards and claim his mouth in a brutal kiss, the kind he had been dreaming about for weeks. He could do neither thing, so instead he simply sat and rested his head on top of Harry's and wished that he could be worthy of the man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter. I've had a rubbish week so a couple of comments would really cheer me up : )


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

For the second time in a week, Severus found himself surrounded by former students, former _Gryffindor_ students to be precise, and for the second time he was finding that he didn't really mind.

He had celebrated New Year's Eve even less than he had celebrated Christmas over the years, but as he sat in Ron and Draco's little cottage, a glass of particularly excellent red wine in one hand, he decided that he could quite warm to the occasion.

It was a smaller affair than Christmas Eve at Harry's had been but was no less raucous because of it. Along with himself and Harry, Hermione, George, Ginny, Maggie and Blaise had been invited, and the assembled group made for a lively atmosphere.

Ron and Draco's cottage was charming. It was a word that stuck in Severus' throat, but there was no other description for it. Unlike Harry's house, it was all on one level and lay nestled in a little valley not far from the pub Harry had taken him to. It was quaint but not chintzy, and Severus could see Draco's stamp all over the place in style choices and points of décor.

The living room that they were all assembled in was cosy and homely. A cheery fire roared away in the fireplace and all the guests were dotted about the room either squeezed onto the sofa or into the armchairs, or sitting cross-legged on the floor. He himself was resting comfortably in a leather armchair, Harry perched on the arm next to him, leaning into his shoulder.

The man's body was warm against his own and it felt oddly natural to sit in a manner that could be interpreted as intimate. Harry didn't shy away from affection with anyone, but it seemed that most of it was focused towards him and he wasn't about to complain. If it were up to him, he would keep Harry as close as possible at all times.

It seemed that Ron and Draco had progressed somewhat since their shared kiss on Christmas Eve. They had made no announcement, but it was plain to see that they were now functioning as a couple. They were sitting cuddled up together on the sofa, Ron's arm around Draco's shoulders, Draco leaning snugly against Ron's body. They radiated contentment and although none of the assembled guests had mentioned it, the shared smiles and grins that had circulated showed that all were aware of the shift.

A wave of laughter rippled through the room and Ginny's voice could be heard exclaiming, "No! Absolutely not, I know better than to play that bloody game with Maggie and George. I had a three-day hangover last time."

"Well how about Never Have I Ever?" Maggie countered, and Severus felt Harry groan beside him.

"No, I hate that bloody game," he said. "It's just embarrassing."

"Just because you're the most innocent one here," George said with a grin, and Severus watched as a deep blush spread across Harry's handsome face.

"Shut up," he mumbled in response, taking a large swig of his beer and appearing to avoid meeting Severus' eyes.

"Why don't we forgo the games?" came Ron's deep voice. "We're all adults, I don't think we need to entertain ourselves with nonsense."

Severus saw Harry shoot the man a grateful smile, and Ron continued, "When's the shop open again George?"

The redhead sighed and popped open the cap on a fresh bottle of beer. "Tomorrow, the New Year sale."

"And you'll be going in with a fat head?" asked Maggie with a snort, topping her glass up with another dram of whisky.

"Me and my assistant," said George with a wicked smile, tilting his bottle in Draco's direction.

The blond rolled his eyes and nestled deeper into Ron's hold, shooting George a baleful glare. "I can't believe I let you rope me into that. It'll be chaos; all those little monsters wanting to spend their Christmas money, dragging their parents to Diagon Alley and making my life a misery. It's always me that you demonstrate the bloody products on!"

"Ah it's a hard life, eh blondie?" George replied, and Draco chucked a cushion at him.

They fell to good-natured bickering for a while and again Severus was struck by just how at ease Draco was with the man, how changed he was from the spoilt child he had once known. Eventually tiring of their nonsense, Hermione made herself more comfortable on the padded footstool she was perched on and said,

"Dare I ask about New Year's resolutions? Are any of us making any?"

Ginny released an amused sigh and said, "Having a social life outside my family perhaps?"

George and Ron laughed, and Ron said, "No chance Gin, you're stuck with us for life."

"How about Harry getting a love life?" George said with a grin and Severus felt Harry give a huff of annoyance beside him.

"Any one of us in this room could make that resolution, especially you," Harry shot back, and Severus could tell that the man wasn't speaking as good-naturedly as he normally did. George's dig had rattled him, and Severus wasn't quite sure why.

His keen blue eyes flashing between them and the usual expression of scrutiny on his face, Ron said casually, "Gin's resolution of a social life isn't a bad one of course. Trouble is, none of us has the bloody time."

Blaise sighed and refilled Hermione's glass of champagne then his own, saying, "How true." His voice was deeper even than Ron's, his accent sharp and polished. "Isn't it pathetic, all in our 20s and barely an evening or a weekend between us?"

"Um, not _all_ of us are in our 20s!" Maggie protested, knocking her whisky back in one large gulp and reaching for the bottle.

"Hear hear," Severus muttered, and Harry turned to grin at him, sidling up a little closer to him as he did so.

"Oh yes, you're soooo old," he teased. "Both of you," he added, looking at Maggie. "I mean, 40 and 36! Practically got one foot in the grave already."

"Shall I chuck this bottle at your head and test if you still have good Seeker reflexes?" Maggie asked, and Harry poked his tongue out at her.

"The point still remains," Blaise continued, ignoring their antics, "that we would all do well to try and pursue things outside of work once in a while. Hobbies, parties, romance," he finished, sipping his champagne and glancing across at Hermione, who dipped her head to hide a blush.

"Not when there's so much left to do," Harry said softly, and Severus turned his head to look up at him. Harry continued looking ahead, his eyes meeting Ron's, Ron nodding gently in agreement.

"Harry's right," he said, pulling Draco more closely to him. "If anything, we'll have less chance for all those things this year."

"Will you really be kept so very busy?" Severus asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Ron exchanged a glance with Harry before directing his attention to Severus. "Perhaps now isn't the time to talk of these things."

"Please don't convince yourself of my delicacy," Severus said firmly. "I've been out of Azkaban quite long enough now to be fully informed of the facts. If you feel that a New Year's Eve gathering isn't the time to discuss such things, then so be it, but I won't have any more reticence on such issues for my sake, not anymore."

"It's my fault," Harry said gently beside him, looking down to meet his eyes. "I didn't want you troubled by everything that's gone on in your absence. I thought you had enough to deal with. I was waiting until after the trial."

"And I appreciate and understand such a sentiment, but I think now that I need to know all the things I yet don't."

Harry reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, surprising Severus with such a demonstrative action in front of others.

"There's no big secret, no conspiracy we're keeping from you," he said gently, "there are just details that we haven't told you yet, things that are happening, things that we're trying to do." He paused and took a breath, continuing to hold Severus' hand. "There are still a lot of former Slytherins languishing in Azkaban, and many of those are innocent people, or at the very least, people who have done little to deserve being there.

"As a consequence of this there are countless children left without parents or guardians who have been given over to the Ministry's dubious custody. We're seeking to overturn that, to start a centre for these children, to take them in and look after them until their parents are freed, or, where their parents are dead, to find them new homes."

Harry paused again, scratching the bridge of his nose where the delicate freckles resided and sharing a look with Ron then Hermione. Severus knew there was more coming and so stayed silent, allowing Harry time to collect his thoughts.

"Slytherin has also been abolished entirely from Hogwarts. The children who had been previously sorted have been 'redistributed' into the other houses and the new intake of pupils has been arbitrarily sorted into the remaining houses without use of the Sorting Hat. From our sources, we know that former Slytherins are subject to intolerable hostility and in some cases even violence. Things are slowly descending into chaos, and we're doing everything we can to try and reverse the situation."

Severus gripped Harry's hand tightly. He had known of course, known that things would be this bad, but hearing it spoken so plainly was jarring nevertheless. He had been sheltered from such harrowing troubles sequestered away in the haven Harry's house had become. He had been living blindly, feeling safe and content for the first time in years, allowing himself to blot the rest of the world out.

He saw now that he had been mistaken in doing so. His House no longer stood, his students were scattered and divided and there were those left alone in the world, with no one to stand for them apart from a clutch of former students, albeit powerful, prominent ones.

"It won't always be like this," Harry said gently. "We won't let the Ministry continue this hideous campaign. We're fighting against it every day, and we'll continue to do so."

"It is a fight that I should be helping to wage," Severus said, feeling more burdened than he had done in months.

"It's good you feel that way," said Ron, and both Severus and Harry looked at him in surprise. "We'll need you," Ron continued levelly. "You're the most prominent Slytherin alive today, I can't think of anyone better to aid the cause."

Severus was silent for a moment, taking in Ron's words. "You're right," he said softly, "I have been idle in this cause for too long."

Ron smiled. "I would hardly accuse you of that. We can forgive your stay in Azkaban for your lack of participation so far." Severus snorted and some of the tension in the room seemed to dissipate. "Once we get your trial out of the way, we can begin to focus on sorting things out once and for all," Ron said, and Severus wondered how the man could speak with such certainty.

"You speak as though my acquittal is a done deal," Severus said, his voice heavy.

"I speak knowing that we won't stop until it is," Ron replied, and Severus couldn't stop himself from returning Ron's smile, feeling heartened by the man's words.

"I'll drink to that," came Blaise's voice, and all the others raised their glasses in Severus' direction while Harry squeezed his hand and tilted his own drink towards him.

"Well then," Hermione said, her lips quirked in wry smile, "shall we get back to resolutions?"

The conversation turned more jovial and light-hearted, and soon the assembled group were discussing topics far better suited to a New Year's Eve gathering. Harry continued to keep his place by Severus' side, and Severus knew it was time relinquish his drink when he began to entertain thoughts of pulling Harry down into his lap and wrapping his arms around the man.

As midnight drew nearer, it was decided that as the darkest-haired members of the group, Harry and Severus would act as their first-footers, and so both men found themselves standing outside the cottage, holding bread, coal and a bottle of Maggie's whisky.

Severus could feel Harry's eyes upon him, and he turned to look at the man questioningly. Harry grinned and said, "You like Ron, don't you?"

Severus hadn't expected him to say that and he blinked in surprise for a moment before saying with a smirk, "Yes, I do. As it happens, I have always liked him."

"I beg your pardon?" Harry asked, his eyes wide.

Perhaps it was the alcohol loosening his tongue, or perhaps it was the fact that he was done hiding behind masks, but he found himself saying, "Ron is the sixth child in a large family, the youngest son and, it might be said by some the least remarkable. His older brothers are all intriguing, accomplished, handsome, academic, and then there's Ginny, who by virtue of being the only female stands out a mile. On paper, there was nothing much to distinguish him, and then along comes one vital thing that could change all of that."

Harry frowned questioningly, and Severus said with a smile, "You, Harry. Along came the Chosen One, The Boy Who Lived and selected Ron Weasley to be his friend. That fact alone could have propelled him head and shoulders above his siblings if he had only decided to capitalise on it. But he didn't. Instead, he took what you offered him and asked for nothing more, staying by your side and giving you nothing but loyalty and support. I can't help but respect and admire that, and add to it the fact that I find him intelligent and astute, yes, I'd have to admit that I do like him."

Harry looked up at him, his face pale in the moonlight, the cold night air causing a rise of colour in his cheeks. Severus was so used to Harry's look of scrutiny by now that he simply stood and allowed the man to rake his eyes over him, searching, Severus knew, for the answers to a myriad of questions.

"Do you like _me_?" Harry asked eventually, and although his tone was light and teasing, Severus could hear that the man genuinely wanted an answer.

He moved a little closer, moving the whisky to his left hand so that his right was free to reach up and cup Harry's cheek. He knew it was a foolish thing to do, but every inch of his body was desperate to touch the man, for some small measure of contact to sate his growing need.

"How can you ask me that?" he asked softly. "I would say that 'like' is too poor a word to use when it comes to you Harry."

"What word would you use then?" Harry asked, and Severus knew he was being teased now.

"Tolerate, endure, suffer, withstand," Severus replied, and Harry grinned up at him. "Admire, respect, appreciate, esteem," he continued, his voice softer, the pad of his thumb moving back and forth over Harry's sharp cheekbone.

Oh, how he wanted to lean down and kiss him. Harry had a beautiful mouth, full red lips, a cupid's bow and that tongue that darted out every so often to sweep across his bottom lip. He wasn't sure if he had moved or if Harry had, but they were standing much closer, their bodies almost touching. Harry was tilting his head upwards, his eyes shining, and Severus felt a thrill go through his body at the insane thought that Harry might want this as much as he did.

He was about to say to hell with it, take the bull by the horns and just go for it, to the consequences be damned. He moved closer still and lowered his head only to hear from the other side of the door,

"Three, two, one, Happy New Year! Come on you two, get in here!"

"That's our cue," said Harry, pulling back and giving Severus an apologetic smile. "We'd better go in and greet the New Year."

Severus nodded, cursing his own bad timing, and following Harry silently back inside the cottage, hoping that this year would prove more successful than previous ones had been.

* * *

"23rd February."

"I beg your pardon?" Severus said, looking up from his brewing to see Harry standing in the workshop doorway.

"Your trial, it's been set for the 23rd February," Harry said quietly, and Severus felt as though his veins had been injected with ice water. "Hermione just fire called me."

Harry moved to join Severus at his work station and stood opposite him with his hands in his pockets, looking as apprehensive as Severus felt. "Can you leave that?" he asked, nodding towards the bubbling cauldron.

Severus looked down at it, still faintly nonplussed, and turned the heat all the way down underneath. "Yes, yes I was all but finished."

"Come on then," Harry said, giving his arm a gentle tug, "let's go for a walk, get you away from these fumes."

"The fumes aren't the problem," Severus muttered, but nevertheless let himself be led from the workshop and out into the open.

They walked for a little while, their arms brushing as they moved side by side, Harry glancing up at Severus every now and again as they went. They made their way to the brook that danced along the edge of the hamlet and Harry hopped up onto the old stone bridge and looked at Severus as he leant on his elbows and looked ahead at the landscape.

"I feel like such a coward," Severus said eventually, continuing to stare ahead.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked softly.

"It was easier when there was no date, when the trial was just something distant on the horizon. Now it's real and I'm terrified. I can't go back to Azkaban, Harry, it'll kill me."

"You're not going back," Harry said firmly, and Severus looked at him.

"You don't know that. They want me locked up, they're going to do everything they can to make that happen."

"And I'm going to do everything _I_ can to make sure it doesn't," Harry said fiercely.

"Harry, I know the lengths you've gone to for my sake but there's no guarantee – "

Harry gripped hold of Severus' arm and pulled him so he was standing between Harry's legs, held firmly in place against the stone of the bridge. "You are never going back there, Severus, not while I have breath left in my body. I haven't fought for the last two bloody years just to let them cart you back off there."

"Why have you?" Severus asked, finally needing an answer to the question he'd been asking himself for so long.

"What?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"Why have you gone to all this trouble for me? Why have you spent the last two years fighting my cause?"

"You think I was just going to leave you there to rot?" Harry asked, his voice rising.

"Why wouldn't you have done? What was I to you two years ago? Nothing but an old adversary that you'd learnt had been a reluctant ally."

"That isn't true," Harry said shaking his head, his voice little more than a whisper.

"Well then what was I, Harry? Why all this vehement action on my behalf? I don't understand why you would – "

Severus' words were cut off as Harry grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him forward into a bruising kiss. All thoughts were banished from his head as his hands came up to grip Harry's waist while Harry continued to grip tightly onto his shirt as their lips moved roughly against one another. It was desperate and intense, and Severus felt as though he could lose himself entirely in Harry's hold, responding to Harry's fierce kiss.

It was everything he had been wanting for months, everything he had fantasised about. Harry's lips were soft even though his kiss was hard, and Severus pulled him closer, pressing their hips together as his body took control and made him act in the way he had wanted to for so long. Harry's tongue was pressing against his lips and he parted them willingly, allowing Harry to plunge inside, emitting a soft groan as he did so.

It didn't make sense, he couldn't understand how he could be standing there with Harry kissing him as though his life depended on it, but he knew that he never wanted it to end. His hand travelled up Harry's back, feeling the sensuous play of muscle beneath it, and all he could think about was divesting Harry of every article of clothing he was wearing so he could press his skin to Harry's.

That delicious train of thought was derailed when Harry abruptly tore his mouth from Severus' and pulled back, looking breathless and confused. He stared at Severus for a moment, his lips swollen, his expression unfathomable.

"I'm sorry," he whispered eventually. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry."

He jumped off the wall and pushed past Severus, ignoring the man calling his name and practically running back towards the house.

Severus had no idea what had just happened. He turned and leant against the wall of the bridge, biting down hard on his lip, unable to believe that just moments before he had been pressed firmly against Harry, kissing him for dear life. Nothing made sense anymore, that was the only conclusion he could reach, but he knew he couldn't leave things as they were.

He released a heavy sigh and began his slow walk back to the house. He found Harry sitting on the sofa, his hands clasped as he leant forward on his knees. He didn't look up when Severus entered and said nothing as the man took a seat next to him, staring ahead as he was doing.

"I…shouldn't have done that," Harry said eventually, his voice strained.

"Why not?" Severus asked gently as they both continued to look at the fire in front of them.

"It was wrong," Harry replied, his knuckles white where his hands were clasped so tightly. "I…took advantage of the situation and I shouldn't have."

"I think you might be overlooking the fact that I kissed you back," Severus said quietly, feeling his cheeks heat slightly.

"I took you by surprise, you weren't thinking straight," Harry said, shaking his head, and Severus resisted the sudden inappropriate urge to agree that he wasn't thinking _straight_ at all.

Harry stood agitatedly and strode over to the fire, resting his forearm on the mantlepiece and staring down into the flames. "I've abused the situation, I can only apologise."

"I'm failing to understand what it is you think you have to apologise for," Severus said, forcing himself to stand and move next to Harry. The man still wouldn't look at him and Severus could feel his frustration growing.

Harry clenched his teeth, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he did so. He turned around so that Severus was faced with his back, then took a deep breath that shuddered through his body. "I've let my feelings get in the way and I had no right to. This should be a safe place for you, a place where you're under no obligations or – "

"Harry are you suggesting that you've somehow used this situation to coerce me into kissing you?" Severus asked in disbelief. "Merlin's teeth! I've been coerced and forced into enough things in my life to know when I'm _not_ being! Do you really think me so pathetic that I would simply allow you to take whatever liberties you fancied because of the debt I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything!" Harry said fiercely, turning around to face him. "That's the whole point! I don't want you to feel that way. You're not beholden to me for anything."

"I beg your pardon but whether you like it or not I very much am."

"That doesn't entitle me to – "

In one swift movement Severus took Harry's face in his hands and drew him into another hard kiss, trying to convey everything he was unable to with mere words. Harry kissed him back with equal intensity, grabbing his shoulders, digging his fingers into the material of his shirt before he pulled away, still gripping Severus firmly.

"Was that me taking liberties?" Severus asked, his hands moving to hold Harry's hips. "Was I acting with a sense of entitlement?"

"I don't know what commands your actions," Harry whispered. "But I know what governs mine, and it doesn't place us on an equal footing. That can't be right, and I'll be damned if I act in any way that makes me like Riddle…or Dumbledore."

With that staggering assertion, Harry brushed past Severus and disappeared up the stairs, leaving Severus more confused than he had ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you go accusing me of being a tease, you wouldn't want the path to true love to be too easy after all ; ) I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave me a comment and let me know.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Good, that stacks up well, and we can refer to the Mercy Act of 1942 to give your actions validation," said Blaise as he sat opposite Severus, a heavy file open in his lap, a self-inking quill in his hand.

"You'll have to be careful how you word that," Ron said, passing an apple from hand to hand. "Any hint of making excuses or trying to self-exonerate and they won't stand for it." He released a long sigh then said, "How about 'Knowing that his life was already forfeit, Dumbledore decided to turn the situation to his advantage. With the act of euthanasia sanctioned by the Mercy Act of 1942, Professor Snape and Headmaster Dumbledore decided to use the action to prove Professor Snape's allegiance to Voldemort'."

"You should have followed the law, Ron," Blaise said with a smile. "I can't help but mourn the loss of that tactical brain at my uncle's law firm."

Ron grinned and took a bit of his apple, before saying around his mouthful, "You couldn't afford me."

Blaise snorted and said, "I'll have to content myself with recruiting Hermione, I'm fairly certain I can persuade her."

"Oh I'm sure you can," Ron replied with a smirk.

"Are we finished?" Severus asked, in no mood for the good-natured teasing.

"Yes, yes I think we have all we need but I'll be in touch if there's anything more we need to add to your statement. Do you feel properly prepared for the questions they might ask you?"

Severus nodded despite the rush of nerves that assaulted his stomach. "I think we've gone over every possible angle. It matters little anyway, all I can do is tell the truth. To give rehearsed answers would be a mistake."

Blaise nodded in agreement. "You're right, they can spot someone who's been coached a mile off. Well, I'll get out of your hair, I'll need to submit this by noon tomorrow so I should get back to the office and make sure it's perfect."

Severus rose and offered his hand to Blaise, who stood also and took it, the two shaking hands as Severus said, "Thank you for all you've done for me."

"It was the least I could do for a man who has always done his best by me, and by all his Slytherins," Blaise replied with a sad smile.

"If only I could have done more."

"This is all far from over," Blaise said levelly, "there is much still for you to do."

Severus nodded and Blaise's handsome face broke into a gentle smile. "I'll be in touch. See you soon."

Ron raised a hand in farewell and Blaise apparated from the house. Severus sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, tired and fed up, the trial, amongst other things, weighing heavily upon his mind.

"It's hard to imagine a time when all this will be behind me," he said wearily, and Ron nodded in sympathy.

"It will be, only a week to go now, then we can all breathe more easily." He took another bite of his apple and said, "Where's Harry?"

"A good bloody question," Severus muttered, gazing out of the window as though expecting to see the man himself.

It had been nearly three weeks since their shared kiss and Harry had gone to every length possible to avoid him. It was beginning to send him slowly insane and he was sure that if his trial didn't send him back to Azkaban, his troubled mind would instead send him to St Mungo's.

"Has something happened between you two?" Ron asked, and Severus turned to face him to find the man regarding him with an expression of scrutiny.

"No," Severus lied, shaking his head. "I think we're both just a little tense with the trial looming on the horizon."

"Has he spoken to you much about it?" Ron asked gently, but Severus could discern that there was a reason behind his question.

"No more than anyone else, and in no greater detail than all of you," Severus replied, sitting back down on the sofa, Ron leaving his position in the kitchen doorway to come and join him.

Ron sat quietly for a moment or two, and it seemed to Severus that the man was weighing things in his head, selecting what to say next. Ron was, above everything else, Harry's best friend, and Severus guessed that whatever the man was going to say would be nothing that would betray any confidences the man had entrusted to him.

"You're still finding it hard to glean Harry's motives for all this, aren't you?" Ron asked eventually, and Severus considered how best to answer.

"I understand why he wants to fight the Slytherins' cause, but I can't understand why he's gone to such lengths for my benefit," Severus replied honestly.

Ron let out a long, steady breath and rubbed at his chin for a moment before saying, "I think he feels that it could have just as easily been him, that your positions could have been reversed."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it? As far as Harry's concerned, you were both treated like puppets by Dumbledore."

"Harry feels that way?" Severus asked, slightly bewildered. He had never known that Harry felt like that, indeed he had never known that Harry was capable of harbouring such resentment.

Ron nodded, his expression serious. "He was…very lost after the final battle. His head was a mess, he didn't know how to reconcile things in his mind. He felt that you and he were…kindred spirits, thrown into one mess after another by Dumbledore and manipulated accordingly."

Ron paused and scratched the end of his nose, seeming to Severus as though he was trying to organise his thoughts. "He was so angry, so confused. He said that you and he had been used as nothing more than pawns by Dumbledore and were just left to suffer the consequences. He believed, really truly believed that if he'd wanted, Dumbledore could have stopped you from joining the Death Eaters…the first time around."

"What?" Severus asked in disbelief.

Ron's expression said that he would rather be doing anything at that point than having this conversation, but nevertheless he continued, "Harry thought…well… _thinks_ that if he'd really wanted, Dumbledore could have prevented you from joining, but that it worked to his advantage to have you go to them willingly, so that your loyalty would be unquestioned. After…after everything with Harry's mum, he's convinced that Dumbledore used your guilt to manipulate you, to place you as the perfect spy and pull your strings enough to guarantee loyalty.

"He feels that the same was done to him, that Dumbledore placed him with the Dursleys not only because the blood magic made it useful, but because Harry would be so grateful to anyone who rescued him from that life that his loyalty would be a dead cert."

Ron sighed, looking past Severus as though recalling Harry telling him all these things. "He believes that Dumbledore gambled with both your lives, that he was certain you would both die, and that he was only partially sure that Harry would come through it unscathed. Eventually, he managed to reconcile it on his own behalf, but he was still so angry about the way you'd been treated. He went after the Ministry like a man possessed after you were imprisoned, he just couldn't, _wouldn't_ , let it go. You know how he is," Ron said with a shrug and a lopsided smile.

Severus nodded. He knew very well how Harry was, but he had never thought that he would be the recipient of the man's unswerving loyalty and ardour. Knowing a little more of the driving force behind Harry's motives was illuminating but the man was still largely a mystery to him, made even more unfathomable by what had passed between them only weeks prior.

Ron seemed to share his lack of clarity, as the next thing he said was, "I don't pretend to understand Harry completely, I'm not sure anyone can really claim that. I'm sure he has other reasons for how hard he worked to free you, but those are the things that he's confided to me in the last couple of years. You should really talk to him though," he concluded gently.

"Chance would be a fine thing," Severus said before he could stop himself, and Ron's eyes narrowed.

"Something _has_ happened, hasn't it?" he asked, and Severus looked away, feelings his cheeks heat slightly. "Never mind," Ron continued in his level voice, "it's none of my business. I just hope you work it out, he's…"

Severus waited for the rest of the sentence, but it didn't come. He looked back up at the man, who appeared to be battling with what to say, and said, "He's what?"

It was Ron's turn to blush, and Severus noted with amusement that the man's ears were turning pink as he rubbed his palms on his knees. "He's been the happiest I've seen him since you've come to live here," he said quietly, and the man's obvious sincerity made Severus stamp down on the urge to scoff at the proclamation.

"You're good together, for each other, I mean," Ron said, then made a show of looking up at the clock on the mantlepiece and saying, "Oh gosh is that the time? I should be on my way, I promised Drake I'd meet him at the shop."

"Speaking of people who are good together," Severus said with a raised eyebrow, unable to resist the urge to finally say something. If it was possible, Ron's blush deepened, but the smile on his lips was unashamed.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to live alongside someone day after day and be completely in love with them?" Ron asked, and Severus felt a muscle in his throat twitch as he resisted the urge to laugh in the man's face. Yes, he bloody well did have an idea how hard that was.

Ron gave a self-deprecating smile and said, "We danced around each other for so long, both complete wimps, too afraid to be the one to bite the bullet. It was just too risky, you know? What if we messed it all up? We were so close that to lose him would have been unbearable."

"If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would never have believed the drastic shift in your relationship. To go from such antagonism to…what you have now is remarkable."

Ron was obviously trying very hard not to grin like a lovesick fool, but he seemed to be fighting a losing battle. "I can't explain it, don't ask me to. We're both very different to the stupid prats we were at school and I just…adore him," he finished with a sigh.

"You're sickening," Severus told him with a disdainful sniff.

"I know!" Ron said with a delighted laugh. "I really, truly am, and I couldn't care less. I've found the love of my life and I will die a happy man."

"Get out of here before I start falling back on old habits and use my extensive knowledge of torture hexes on you."

Ron grinned and reached out to pat Severus' knee, saying, "You can shut me up for now, but there'll be other days."

"Leave, and take your hideous threats with you."

Ron got up and headed for the fireplace, grabbing a pinch of floo powder and turning back to face Severus with a much gentler smile. "Whatever's happened with you and that speccy-eyed twerp, try and sort it out eh? It would be nice to see the two of you have a chance to be just as sickening."

Ron chucked the powder into the fire, loudly intoning "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" as he went, the green flames engulfing him before he disappeared. Severus stared after him, wondering how he had ever written the man off as an idiot.

Had he been that obvious with his feelings for Harry? Was it so apparent that he had fallen so deeply in love with the man, or did Ron simply manage to see these things because he had a knack for reading people? Either way, Ron had made it very obvious that he thought that he and Harry had the chance to…what? Have what he and Draco had? Become a couple? The ramifications of that were…unsettling to say the least.

It hurt his head too much to consider and besides, the whole point was moot while Harry remained absent and refused to address the issue. He considered retreating to his potions workshop; there were several things that could have done with his attention but he didn't have the concentration that was necessary to attend to them.

He could have done with a walk to clear his head, but he didn't want to be out of the house when Harry returned, didn't want to give the man another opportunity to avoid speaking with him. He felt like a pathetic teenager, mooning around possessed by an impossible infatuation. Damn it all, he was a grown man, he'd survived two wars, survived having his throat ripped out from that damned snake and yet here he was, unable to confront a situation that shouldn't have been as daunting as it was.

He hadn't felt this bewildered since he had first been released from Azkaban. He felt unsteady and uncertain, he was questioning everything and overanalysing every little detail. It was driving him mad and something had to give or he would lose his tenuous grip on his sanity.

He picked up the book he had discarded earlier on the coffee table and spent the next half an hour pretending to read it. It was with equal parts relief and dread that he finally heard the old motorbike pull up outside the house. His jaw clenched with resolve; he and Harry were going to have this out once and for all. He felt his scalp prickle, but he couldn't go another day with things the way they were, he couldn't stand the loss of the easiness they had previously experienced.

He found that what he missed most were the casual touches that had begun to occur between them. He missed Harry's hand on his shoulder, missed the man's weight leaning against him when they sat next to one another on the sofa, and missed the comfort that having Harry so close could bring to him.

He heard the front door open, and his nerves jangled as he listened to Harry divest himself of his coat and boots in the porch. A moment later and the man entered the living room, pausing to glance at Severus before he moved towards the stairs, mumbling,

"Just going to jump in the shower."

His foot was on the first step when Severus rose from the sofa and said, "Harry we have to talk."

"Not now, later," Harry said without looking at him, moving to continue his ascent.

"Harry," Severus said firmly, halting the man's movements, "this isn't going to go away."

Harry sighed and lowered his head for a moment before he came back down the stairs and stood in the living room opposite Severus.

 _Now what?_ Severus asked himself. He knew the conversation needed to happen, but he had no idea what to say or how to say it. His mouth felt dry and he felt like a fool standing there opposite the man he wanted desperately to take in his arms.

"Can't we just leave things?" Harry asked quietly, keeping his eyes focused downwards on his shoes.

"You think I can simply ignore this?" Severus asked, pleased that his voice didn't waver.

"It would be better," Harry mumbled, and Severus felt his frustration rise.

"Well, while you're busy avoiding me and avoiding the issue, have you given any thought to how this might be affecting me, how difficult it is to focus on anything besides it? I go to trial in a couple of days Harry, do you think I will be able to think clearly in that dock with all this going on?"

That seemed to hit a nerve, and Harry finally looked up with an expression of consternation. "I don't want this to affect your trial," he said softly. "And there's no reason why it should. It's just…something that happened, a stupid mistake."

Severus felt his stomach clench uncomfortably and he cursed himself for feeling like a besotted teenager. "Is that what you feel it was?" he asked, trying not to sound too betrayed.

"It has to be," Harry said, sounding very much to Severus as though he was trying to convince himself.

"I don't understand you," Severus said softly. "Why are you so desperate to brush this under the carpet?" he asked, wishing he could retain some measure of composure, but feeling as though Harry was slipping through his fingers with each passing second.

"Because that's where it belongs, Severus," Harry said, wrapping his arms around his waist.

Severus wanted to be the one to do that, to envelop him in warmth and hold him tightly, but the few feet that separated them felt like a gaping chasm.

"I should never have done what I did. It was…stupid and thoughtless and has created nothing but trouble. I can only apologise again and – "

"You seem determined to overlook my own autonomy in this," Severus interrupted, fed up of hearing Harry speak as though he were some deluded incompetent who had been swept along by a coercive and manipulative force.

Harry bit his lip and Severus refused to let himself be distracted by the familiar action. Harry let his arms fall to his sides, then raised a hand to rake through his windswept hair. "This is the last thing you should be thinking about now," he said, trying to add a touch of finality to his voice. "You need to keep your mind on the trial, on staying focused on that."

Severus couldn't stand it any longer, it had been weeks since he'd any contact with Harry and his whole body was practically screaming at him to move closer, to reach out and reacquaint himself with the feel of the man beneath his hands.

He slowly walked closer and Harry watched him as though he were a dangerous animal, poised to pounce at any moment. He stopped, leaving only the smallest distance between them, his body still urging him to make some small contact, but he ignored it, trying to reason that to make such a gesture now wouldn't help his cause.

"Do you really think I'll be able to focus on anything when all I can think of is you?" he asked quietly, and something flashed through Harry's eyes, something that looked remarkably like hope to Severus.

He hated exposing himself like this, hated leaving himself so vulnerable, but he would be damned if he'd let Harry take all this on his shoulders, if he'd leave the man thinking what had happened between them was simply one-sided.

"The last three weeks have been sending me slowly insane," he confessed in a whisper. "If you're determined to forget about what happened, if you insist on sweeping this all away then I'll have no choice but to abide by you, but for Merlin's sake, can we at least get back to the way we were before all this happened?" He gritted his teeth, wondering if there was any part of him that resembled the man he had once been, then steeled himself to say, "I miss you."

Harry appeared to be fighting a losing battle with the smile that was trying to work its way onto his lips. "The feeling's mutual," he said eventually, averting his eyes and dipping his head, giving Severus a delightful view of those beautiful freckles across the bridge of the man's nose.

Severus could stand it no longer. He moved closer and slid his long forefinger under the man's chin, tilting his head back up so their eyes once again met. "Your friendship has been a light in an otherwise dark existence," Severus said seriously, "I'm asking you not to deprive me of it."

"And deprive myself in the process?" Harry said with a wry smile. "This is all a bit of a mess," he said, shaking his head, "but the last few months…you living here…it's the happiest I've been in a long time," he said, inadvertently echoing Ron's earlier words.

"The same goes for me," Severus said softly. He went to lower his hand but Harry caught it and held it in his own, lacing his fingers with Severus' long ones.

"I…wish this wasn't so confusing," he said as he began to move his thumb over Severus' wrist. "But right now you need to focus on the trial, nothing else."

"Perhaps when it's over we can…re-evaluate things," Severus said, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Harry seemed to be waging a war in his mind as he stood in front of Severus, holding the man's hand tightly. One side of his internal argument suddenly seemed to win and he stepped forward slowly before raising himself up to press a soft kiss to Severus' cheek. He rested his forehead against the man's chin and Severus took the opportunity to breathe in the apple scent of Harry's hair.

He couldn't stop his arms from coming up to wrap around the man, and it would have taken Harry physically pushing him away to stop him from holding him as close as he dared. It didn't happen, so he allowed himself to indulge in the feeling of having the man in his arms, and, throwing all his customary caution to the wind, he pressed a light kiss to Harry's temple. Harry sighed and pulled himself closer, nestling his head under Severus' chin, and Severus struggled to remember a time he had felt more conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's a tad shorter than the others but it was the natural cut-off point before the trial. I hope you all enjoyed it, please let me know.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Severus illuminated the tip of his wand and looked at the clock on his bedside table. Quarter past two and he was still wide awake with no signs of that changing anytime soon. He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, listening to the maddening sound of his own pulse in his ears.

The trial was tomorrow and, loath as he was to admit it, he was terrified. Despite Harry and Ron's assertions to the contrary, there was every chance that the day would end with him being carted back off to Azkaban. This time, he was convinced that he wouldn't survive his incarceration.

He had been back in the outside world too long, had too long to accustom himself to comfort and safety, too long to regain his sanity and health again. If he went back to that hellhole now, he would be a lost cause and would, in all probability, be dead within six months. He cursed himself for yielding to such melodrama; there was a time when he would have accepted his fate with stoic fortitude, but not so anymore.

Of course, there was a dim corner of his brain that whispered to him that he had never had so much to lose, that he was terrified at the thought of being parted from this happy existence…at being parted from Harry. He growled and threw the bedcovers aside, lying in the cold for a moment before he rose and left his bedroom.

He padded softly down the stairs and turned on the standard lamp in the corner of the room. It emitted a pleasantly soft light and didn't feel so stark against the blackness of the night. He sat down on the sofa and buried his head in his hands, trying to steady his breathing. His pulse was still racing and his mind felt foggy. There were too many thoughts in his brain, and they were all jostling for attention. He didn't know which to try and examine first.

He hardly knew who he was anymore. There was so little left of the man he had once been that it seemed he had none of his old coping mechanisms. He had allowed himself to be open and vulnerable, he had allowed himself to rejoice in his freedom, to begin to seek some redemption for his past transgressions.

He had let himself learn who Harry was, let himself see the man as he now was rather than the boy he had always believed him to be. That, perhaps, had been his most foolish mistake to date. In letting the scales fall from his eyes, he had unwittingly fallen in love with the man who was left when the persona of The Boy Who Lived was nothing more than a memory turned to smoke.

Where did that leave him now? He was damned if he knew. His conversation with Harry merely days before had cleared the unbearable tension between them, had made Harry finally stop avoiding him, but they were no nearer a resolution, and Severus was no closer to understanding the man he lived with. If his brain were anymore muddled, he was fairly certain it would explode.

"Have you no more sense than to sit down here in nothing but pyjamas?"

Damn but the man could move like a cat when he wanted to. When had he acquired such stealth? He felt a blanket settle gently around his shoulders and he looked to see Harry sitting across from him, wrapped in his own cosy-looking dressing gown.

"Can't sleep?" Harry asked softly.

Severus shook his head and burrowed a little deeper into the warmth of the snug blanket.

"Me neither," Harry admitted, tucking his feet underneath him, looking endearingly boyish as he did so. "It will be alright."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that," Severus said with more annoyance than he meant to. He shot Harry a look of apology and said, "I've never taken well to meaningless platitudes."

Harry smiled and said, "As we are all well aware. We say it because we believe it, because we mean it."

"As well-intentioned as I'm sure you are, as strong as your faith is, it is still no guarantee," Severus argued. Doubt was the oldest and most familiar of all his enemies, and he almost welcomed it as an old friend as it seeped into his blood once again.

"I know," Harry said, nodding his head, and Severus felt gratified that the man hadn't tried to placate him. "It's just…the alternative is too painful to think about."

They were silent as they looked at one another, and Severus could see that Harry truly meant it, that his return to Azkaban would affect him in a way that he couldn't quite understand. He knew Harry cared for him, and he now understood a little more of the man's motives thanks to Ron, but the majority of Harry's mind still puzzled him.

"I can only imagine how you must be feeling about tomorrow," Harry said quietly, "but all we can do is face what it brings and try to withstand it. I know that sounds trite but it's true. We have the best legal team representing you and a whole host of people who are testifying on your behalf. We're in the strongest position we can be."

Severus nodded, though he was no more convinced than he had previously been. He was curious as to the 'host of people' who were testifying on his behalf. He was sure that if he had asked he would have been told, but something had stopped him from doing so so far. He would find out tomorrow he supposed, but he wondered at who might be there, at who would willingly speak for him.

"I let myself get complacent," he said eventually, his voice echoing in the stillness of the room.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked with a frown.

Severus sighed and leant his head against the back of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling, feeling Harry's eyes rove over him. "I let myself become accustomed to life here, to an existence outside of that damned hellhole. I don't think I'll survive if I have to go back," he said, finally giving voice to the thought that was troubling him so much.

Harry took a deep breath and Severus continued to look at up the ceiling as he heard the man say, "I won't say you won't be going back, not when I know it annoys you, but you have more strength and resilience than any person I've ever known. You were made for survival, and if the worst does happen, you'll survive it. There's no other outcome."

Severus snorted and tilted his head to look at Harry. "Your faith in me is extraordinary." He had meant to say it with a sneer, but it seemed that that particular facial expression was no longer part of his repertoire.

Harry smiled that funny little smile of his and reached out to loop his forefinger around Severus' own. It was a light touch, a touch with the promise of more, and Severus felt his body respond as it always did when Harry was near him.

"My faith in you has always been unwavering," he said, and Severus' eyebrows rose sceptically. Harry gave him a sly grin and continued, "I once had total faith that you were a complete and utter bastard. I once had unswerving faith that you were my most hated and reviled teacher. I once had faith that I would never think of you as anything but my enemy."

The grin softened to a warm smile and Harry looped one finger after another through Severus' and gave them a squeeze. "Now I have faith that you are one of the bravest and best men I have ever known."

A lump seemed to have formed in Severus' throat, and he struggled to swallow around it. God, how he loved the man opposite him, and here that man was, speaking of him as though he was worth more than he knew he was. He had a sudden impulse to bring Harry's hand to his lips and brush a kiss over his knuckles, but he resisted. Whatever was happening between them was too tentative to risk with an ill-timed gesture.

He could think of no fitting response and so simply took a deep breath and said, "Do you think it will really only last a day?"

Harry ran his thumb over Severus' long fingers and said with a decidedly displeased look, "They normally only last an hour. The fact that an entire day has been set aside for it is, at least, promising. It means they aren't considering the outcome a foregone conclusion."

Severus rubbed his free hand over his stubbled chin, feeling older than he had done in years. "I just want it to be done with, finished. I can't stand this, waiting on the cusp of it, wondering if it will swallow me whole."

Harry moved closer to him on the sofa and slid an arm around his shoulders. Severus felt himself being gently coaxed into the man's hold and before he could protest he found himself nestled against Harry's chest. One hand was still entwined with Harry's smaller, more tanned one, while the other rested on Harry's thigh, achingly close to the man's lap.

If he had wanted, he could have reached out and tempted the man to arousal, could have pinned that beautiful body beneath him and teased it into ecstasy. This was not the time for that, however. Now Harry was offering only comfort, was being as open and demonstrative as he always was, and Severus could do little more than sit there and accept it.

He was in love with the man, that much was certain, but something was holding Harry back, something was stopping him from crossing the tentative boundaries that existed between them. Harry touched him so easily, showed his affection so openly that for him to stop things from becoming sexual confused Severus. Still, if he knew nothing about Harry, he knew that the man's honour was of paramount importance to him, and whatever way he acted, it would be with that in mind.

With that to consider, Severus decided that he could count himself lucky if he could continue to enjoy Harry's displays of affection, these soft caresses and gentle touches. He would push for nothing more, he deserved nothing more after all. For now, this was enough.

* * *

The next morning Severus shooed away all offers of breakfast and couldn't even bring himself to drink a cup of coffee. He dressed with shaky hands and had to use a shaving charm for fear of cutting himself.

Harry was nervous too, Severus could tell. His smiles weren't as natural and he was quieter than usual, speaking only when necessary. He had also foregone breakfast but had given in to sipping at a strong cup of tea, heavily sugared.

Severus spent most of the time they were sitting at the kitchen table staring at the clock, and as time ticked on he felt as though his stomach had turned to lead. He heard the sound of Harry placing his teacup in its saucer and he looked across at the man who gave him a wan smile and said,

"Time to go."

Severus nodded, trying to summon up a little of his old implacability. He had survived worse than this, faced down worse foes than those sanctimonious Ministry arseholes, and he was determined that this wouldn't be the thing to push him over the edge.

Harry stood first, and after a few deep breaths, Severus followed him into the living room. Harry bent to retrieve a battered old rucksack that was sitting by the front door, and Severus' eyes narrowed as he watched the man sling it onto his shoulder. It had been sitting there the previous night, and Severus had meant to ask what it was there for. Now though, although curious, he found he had bigger things to worry about.

Harry moved to stand in front of him and gave him an encouraging smile before he held his hand out. Severus took it and Harry pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his waist. It was as close as they had ever been and Severus had to use every ounce of self-control he possessed to stop his body from reacting.

He placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and Harry tilted his head up, the freckles on his nose standing out starkly against the creaminess of his skin. Everything in Severus' mind was screaming at him to lean down and meet Harry' lips with his own, and he was so sure he saw the answering emotion reflected in Harry's eyes. He held himself back; the next time he kissed Harry he wanted to make sure that the other man wouldn't run from it. He had to do it in a way that would ensure whatever guilt Harry felt just melted away.

"We'll be coming back here later," Harry said softly, his expression resolved. "I'll make us a celebratory dinner and we can open that bottle of brandy Drake gave you for Christmas. Then we can sit in front of the fire and toast your freedom until the sun comes up."

Severus summoned up a smile and brushed the hair from Harry's forehead, noticing how faded the familiar scar seemed these days. "Until tonight then," he said quietly, not trusting his own voice.

Harry's jaw was set firm and something in his face bolstered Severus' own rather lacking confidence. Harry smiled up at him then gave his waist a gentle squeeze. "Hold on tightly," he murmured.

Severus did so and closed his eyes, knowing there was no turning back now. He felt the pull of Harry's magic as they apparated away from their safe little haven and he had to take a couple of calming breaths before he allowed himself to open his eyes once again.

They were in what Severus assumed to be an antechamber to the main courtroom, and as his eyes adjusted he was staggered to see how many people were already there. All the Weasleys were present, as was Maggie, who was looking smarter than Severus had ever seen her dressed in well-tailored turquoise robes that looked striking against her black hair.

Harry's hold loosened, though the man's hand remained at the small of his back, generating a comforting warmth through his robes. He continued to scan the room and found that there were many former students from all houses assembled, and, to his surprise, McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout were gathered together in a corner, nursing rather grey-looking cups of tea.

"I didn't realise so many people would be here," he murmured to Harry, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. "Are they all here to testify?"

"A fair few are," Harry replied softly, "but a lot are here just for support."

Severus found it hard to process that fact. He had never been a popular man and he hadn't done a thing to endear himself to a single person in the room. It was inconceivable to him that they would wish to stand by him, that they would think him worthy of their time and energy.

"Would you like a tea or something?" Harry asked, his hand still resting gently on Severus' back.

"No thank you, I doubt my stomach would welcome any offering at the moment," he replied, earning himself an understanding smile from Harry.

"Oh, there's Neville," the man said, looking to where Ron and Draco were standing. "I didn't see him behind Ron, bloody great lummox."

Severus followed Harry's line of sight, disbelieving that the student whom he had tormented so mercilessly would be there on his behalf. When his eyes finally alighted on the man, he thought perhaps that Harry had made a mistake; the man standing with Ron and Draco resembled little of the podgy child he had once know.

While it was true that Ron dwarfed him, he had gained a few more inches in height and lost several pounds in weight. His face was angular now rather than round and he seemed to have lost the constant air he had once had of a baffled, bewildered fool. He spoke with Ron, his expression serious, his manner confident. It was only the smile, slightly crooked with a hint of self-deprecation, that convinced Severus the man was indeed his former student.

Ron and Draco were obviously continuing as a couple, and Ron had his hand resting on the small of Draco's back, his thumb drawing lazy circles against the fabric of Draco's shirt. As Severus watched, he realised it wasn't all that dissimilar from the way he was standing with Harry. Would people look at them and think they were a couple? Unlikely. As far as he knew, no one in the room had suffered a mental breakdown.

"You're looking rather green around the gills," said Ron as he, Draco and Neville approached. "I don't think it'd go down too well if you chucked up in the courtroom. Bloody funny though."

"Do shut up," Severus said, rolling his eyes at the man.

Ron grinned. "There's the Snape we all know and love. Just fix them with that patented glare and they'll be putty in your hands.

"You know, you could have supported me from a distance, say a few hundred miles," Severus replied, realising how natural it felt to speak to Ron this way. It was almost as though they were friends.

"It's good to see you, sir," said Neville, extending his hand. Severus was amazed to note that it wasn't shaking, not even a little.

"And you, Mr Longbottom," Severus said, shaking the proffered hand. It was cool and dry, not the clammy mess Severus had been expecting. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"I'm testifying," Neville said, his calm and confident manner producing the opposite feeling in Severus. He never thought he would find himself feeling inferior to Neville Longbottom of all people.

"You are?" he asked, surprised.

Neville nodded and clasped his hands behind his back. "Along with a few others who were there during your tenure as headmaster."

"I'm doomed then," Severus said dryly, and Neville smiled.

"Let's hope not, hey?"

The next half an hour passed in something of a blur for Severus. Everyone, it seemed, was eager to speak to him, and he found himself shaking hands with his former colleagues and students alike. Minerva declared him to look better than she had been expecting, Sprout and Flitwick echoing the sentiment. They were all still teaching at Hogwarts and Minerva had been made Headmistress, although, by her own admission, she had little authority thanks to the Ministry's constant interference.

It was a topic that Harry seemed well-versed in. He spoke with the usual fervour that Severus had come to expect from him in these matters, as did Ron, who seemed to think that they were inching ever closer to a review of the current system as it stood. It was welcome news to Minerva, who was as stressed as Severus could ever remember seeing her. The responsibilities of managing a school that was serving as a spearhead for the Ministry's machinations were weighing heavily on her, on all the teachers bar a few, and Severus knew the situation was untenable.

He spoke with several former students, those who had been out of school for many years and those who been there during Harry's time. They ranged across all four Houses and had either served a period of time in Azkaban themselves or had family members who had.

Severus was staggered by his conversations with them. They spoke to him respectfully, expressed sentiments of regret for how he had been treated and many even thanked him for the sacrifices he had made for the war. His Slytherins, those who had turned their back on Voldemort, still seemed to look to him for guidance, and many seemed hopeful that he would resume that role in their lives.

It was all very overwhelming, and Severus was almost relieved when an official entered and declared them ready to start. Harry gave his arm a squeeze and said softly, "I'll be in the gallery. This will all be over soon, we'll be home before you know it."

Severus could do little but nod and attempt a smile before he was led away into the courtroom. He wished he could have kept Harry by his side for the whole sorry business, to draw strength from his presence, to feel that warm hand on the small of his back, but this was something he had to face alone.

His heart raced as he stood in the dock and he paused to try and bring himself under control. It had been a long time since he had had to employ any of the skills he had used as a spy, but he found himself calling on them as he awaited the start of his trial. He assessed the room he was in – large, three exits, a spectator's gallery and a judicial bench upon which his would-be jailors sat.

Many of the people who had been in the antechamber were now seated in the gallery, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Harry sitting there with Ron and Draco. He didn't dare chance a look in the man's direction. One moment of eye contact and his resolve would waver, he would be able to think of nothing but being back home, safely locked away from the rest of the world.

Hermione, Blaise and Blaise's uncle came to take their seats in front of him. Hermione and Blaise began a whispered conversation as they consulted their notes, while Reuben, Blaise's uncle, turned to speak to him.

"Not a bad board for the hearing, as it turns out," he said in low tones. "There are one or two absolute vipers, but the majority are a fairly measured lot. Our luck's in."

"You'll forgive me if I reserve such a sentiment until I am officially acquitted," Severus replied, and Reuben gave him a wry smile.

"Ever the optimist," he said with a small incline of his head.

"I am seldom disappointed."

Reuben nodded and took his seat. Severus actually had more faith in the man than he had let on. He was perhaps the most competent person Severus had ever met in his life, and if anyone could bring about an acquittal, it was him.

A gavel was struck and a hush fell over the room. The officiant read out the charges and Severus tried to not wince at each one. The case against him was laid out by a woman who was acting, for all intents and purposes, as the prosecution. Severus vaguely recognised her; she had been a few years behind him at school, a Ravenclaw and more ambitious than any Slytherin.

Harry had mentioned her a couple of times, she was leading the charge against the Slytherins and had lobbied fervently to put them, and keep them, in Azkaban. He couldn't help but think as he listened to her speak that he must have looked like a gift-wrapped present to her.

When she was done, Reuben stood and put his case forward. He was an impressive man, with a flair for theatrics that never bordered on gauche. He outlined Severus' role as a double agent and the part he had played since the first fall of Voldemort, then went on to list the many ways in which he had aided the war effort.

McGonagall was called to testify as to his tenure at Hogwarts, both while Dumbledore was alive and while Severus served as headmaster. She was forced to admit that Dumbledore had never confided in her as to Severus' allegiance, but that the man had always insisted that he was to be trusted.

Former students were called to attest to the fact that he never pressured them into joining Voldemort or taking the Dark Mark. Several of his Slytherins swore that they had been under the impression that he was actively guiding them away from such a path, and had felt that they could rely on him to protect them if they turned from their families.

Draco took the stand and, although nervous, he spoke with conviction about the Vow his mother had made on his behalf. He told the board how he had been chosen to kill Dumbledore and how both he and his mother knew he would never be able to do it. He stated, very firmly, that without Severus' intervention, he would be dead and buried by now.

Neville was then called upon, and as he stood with his back straight and his head held high, Severus wondered if perhaps it was someone brought in in Polyjuice form. He didn't falter once, and addressed the board clearly and articulately. He told them how Severus did everything he could to protect them from the Carrows and how he had personally taken control of detentions set by them to ensure the students came to no harm.

He swore that Severus had turned a blind eye to their activities in the Room of Requirement and so had enabled them to fight from within. Everything the man said was true, but the way he said it, with such passion and determination, had all the members of the board paying attention. If he came through this a free man Severus determined to buy Neville Longbottom the most expensive bottle of whisky he could lay hands on.

Finally, it was Harry's turn to speak. He took his place in the witness stand and Severus was struck by the air of dignity and competence that the man radiated. He had had months to get used to this adult version of the boy he had once known, but as Harry stood there, hands clasped behind his back, Severus suspected that there were no lasting vestiges of that boy any longer.

"Mr Potter," the lead board member began, "we have heard you speak many times in defence of Professor Snape and your previous testimonies have been recorded. What is it you would like to say to us today?"

Harry smiled his most charming smile and placed his hands on the rail in front of him. "Ladies and Gentleman," he said, his voice soft but unwavering, "as Madam Raiment points out, I have spoken at length in defence of Professor Snape. This has come as a surprise to many, as there were few who didn't know of the antagonistic relationship we had for several years.

"I stand here today to tell you all that Severus Snape is the finest man I have ever had the privilege of knowing. The sacrifices he made for nearly 20 years are too great and numerous to list. He risked his life time and time again in order to gain information for Professor Dumbledore and the Order, he feigned loyalty to Voldemort in order to get close to him so that we might know of his plans and endured years of mistrust and hostility from those who believed him a traitor.

"I can personally attest that Professor Snape has saved my life on more than one occasion, and I wouldn't be standing here today without him. Professor Dumbledore believed in him wholeheartedly, without caveats or doubt. He trusted him quite literally with his life and with mine, and knew that the Professor was the only person who could carry the burden he placed on his shoulders.

"That this man was locked away for his actions is the grossest miscarriage of justice. We would not have won the war without him, you would all not be sitting here today without his actions. We have our liberty to thank him for, and I for one plan to spend the rest of my life finding a way to properly show my gratitude.

"You know have possession of Professor Snape's memories, which include a conversation with Professor Dumbledore in which the man begged Professor Snape to kill him. I ask you to examine all the evidence that has been put before you today and use your sense and judgement to return the Professor's liberty to him."

There was silence for a moment before the lead board member cleared her throat and said, "Thank you Mr Potter. Your defence of the Professor has always been…remarkable. It's good to know that some things don't change. You may step down."

Harry nodded and did as instructed, passing Severus on his way back to the gallery. He looked up and met Severus' eyes, his own bright and steely with resolve. Severus found it difficult to look at him, taken aback as he was by the speech the man had just made. He felt humbled and shocked all at once, his emotions a jumbled mix inside him.

"Well," the lead board member continued, "we will hear the closing statements from both sides and then we shall adjourn to make our decision. Mr Zabini, Ms Warrender, please approach the bench."

* * *

Severus was numb. He sat staring ahead at nothing, his mind a blur, the events of the day making little sense to him. He had never believed it would happen, not really, not in his heart of hearts, and yet it had. He didn't know how to make sense of the world anymore.

There was a hand at his shoulder, squeezing, applying pressure, then it was at his neck and the pressure turned soft. A voice murmured in his ear and he knew it was trying to coax him back to where he was meant to be. He didn't know if he had the strength to do it though.

"How about a drink? You must need one, I know I bloody do."

He turned to look at Harry, trying to let the soft hand at the base of his neck ground him. "I…don't know," he said eventually, his voice ringing in his ears.

Harry smiled and gave his shoulder a pat then stood up and moved to the cabinet in the corner of the room. He poured them both a generous glass of brandy then brought them back to the sofa and offered Severus one.

Severus took it with a shaking hand and brought the glass to his lips, taking a gulp and letting it burn a trail down his throat. Harry sat back down next to him and took a more measured sip of his own drink.

"You know, George won't let you get away without having a proper celebration. He conceded today but he's determined there'll be a party."

Severus shook his head and said, "I don't think I'd be capable of such a thing until I can get my head around it."

"Freedom will do that to a person," Harry said gently. "I for one plan to spend the next month celebrating."

"I can't quite believe it," Severus said, taking another large gulp. "Free and exonerated. It makes no sense. After all this time…I…I just can't process it."

The hand was back at his neck again and Severus closed his eyes as he focused on its gentle movements. "You have all the time in the world to accustom yourself to it. You're a free man, no one has any claim to you anymore," Harry's voice whispered softly close to his ear.

 _No one but you_ , Severus thought as he kept his eyes closed. He took a deep breath and said softly, "What you said on the stand today…" he trailed off as he opened his eyes and met Harry's.

"Yes?" Harry prompted.

"Did you mean it?"

Harry smiled and moved his hand around to rest gently on Severus' cheek. "You already know the answer to that." He took a deep breath and seemed to be weighing something up for a moment or two before he said, "Feel free to give me a smack on the nose, I can't say I wouldn't deserve it, but if I don't kiss you in the next 30 seconds I think my head might explode."

He leant forward and brushed his lips softly against Severus'. It was the tenderest, sweetest kiss Severus had ever experienced and he felt his breath stripped away from him. He could have spent his entire life doing this, lost in the man he loved, the man he owed his life to. Harry's lips were soft and warm, this kiss a world away from the first one they had shared.

It was gentle and slow, two souls making each other's acquaintance properly for the first time. Harry's hand was still on his cheek and his own was resting in Harry's dark hair, fingers twined gently through the tresses. He had never felt closer to another person in his whole life and some remote part of his brain whispered that he would never feel this way about anyone ever again.

Harry pulled back and smiled shyly up at him. "Are you going to give me a smack on the nose?"

"What do you bloody think?" Severus said, his voice gruff.

Harry laughed and shook his head. "This is still very, very messed up, but I can't pretend I don't feel what I do. Perhaps…perhaps we can take this slowly? I want to give this a chance, I owe it to myself, to you."

Severus' heart leapt within his chest. Harry wanted this, wanted him, and was prepared to give the whole bizarre thing a go. To be granted his freedom and this wonderous opportunity in one day was a heady thing indeed, and if he hadn't been sitting down, he surely would have collapsed.

Harry was waiting for an answer, but he couldn't find any words to use to reply. He settled for simply nodding, damning the absence of his usual eloquence. Harry smiled and placed a quick peck to his lips before pulling away, meeting Severus' eyes and biting his bottom lip, as was his habit.

Severus couldn't stop himself from smiling, and he said, "If we're to take this slowly then I'd advise you to refrain from that action. I can't be held responsible for what I might do in the face of such provocation."

Harry laughed and said with an endearing blush, "Fair enough. Perhaps I'd better go and grab a shower, remove all temptation." He stood and looked down at Severus, his green eyes searching. "Are you ok? Today was…overwhelming.

Severus nodded. "I will be. It will take some time to get used to."

"No rush, that'll be our mantra eh?" he said with a grin, moving over to the stairs and grabbing the rucksack he had taken with him to the trial.

"Harry, what is that?" Severus asked, his curiosity finally getting the better of him.

"Oh," Harry said, the blush intensifying. He looked down at the rucksack for a moment before he said, "It…it was plan B."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked with a frown.

"I had every faith that you'd be acquitted but…there was a small part of me that thought perhaps it might not happen. I told you that I wouldn't have seen you back in Azkaban and I meant it, you weren't going back there while there was breath left in my body." He patted the bag and said, "In here is everything we'd need to go on the run, fake passports, driving licenses, bank cards to a muggle bank account that I've been diverting money to, shrunken clothes, food, drink and a tent we could have stayed in until we sorted something more permanent."

Severus was stunned and could do little but stare at the bag in Harry's hands in wonder. "You're joking?" he asked quietly. Harry shook his head. "You…you would have done that…for me?"

"That and so much more."

"Harry…I…"

"It doesn't matter," Harry said, looking a little embarrassed. "We didn't need it in the end. I'm going up for a shower, be down in a bit."

He padded softly up the stairs and Severus was left sitting on the sofa in a state of utter shock. He was free, Harry had kissed him, Harry had been prepared to go on the run to stop him from returning to Azkaban. These facts swirled around in his mind, overwhelming and bewildering him. The only thing he knew for certain was that he intended this moment to be the start of a new chapter in his life, one he would grab with both hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this more than I enjoyed writing it. I'm not overly-fond of trials, but this one had to be done. Please let me know what you thought of it.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Severus awoke early the next day. He had had a fractured sleep, his mind never stilling long enough to let him be properly dragged under into unconsciousness. He had too much to think about, too much to mull over, and so, when the first light of morning appeared, he threw the bedcovers aside and padded softly downstairs.

He brewed himself a cup of coffee, grabbed the thick woolly blanket from the back of the sofa and headed out into the garden. He settled down at the little iron table, tucking himself up nicely, grateful for Molly's skill with a pair of knitting needles, and let the gentleness of the dawn seep into him.

It was still and quiet, the air fresh and sweet, the sky a mix of cold blues and warm oranges. It felt surreal and other-worldly, and Severus sipped at his coffee as he thought there could be no better way of greeting his first day as a free man. It would take time to acclimatise to, he knew that, but there was a small part of him that felt so blissfully happy he hardly knew how to react to it.

Of course, it wasn't just his freedom that he was feeling so giddy about. Harry had kissed him last night, and the memory of the man's soft lips against his own had left him smiling into the darkness long after he had retired to bed. He didn't know what it meant, what he could possibly hope for, but the fact that Harry felt some small fraction of the way he himself felt was enough to make him feel lighter than he had done in years.

The sun made its full ascent and sat happily against the horizon, promising a fine, if cold, day ahead. It was the end of February and spring would soon be wielding its influence over the landscape. Severus hadn't dared to hope that he would be free to see it, to see this wonderous place covered in wild flowers and heather, to see the trees put out their lush leaves again and to feel the warmth of a fine spring day against his skin.

It was more than just a hope now though, it was a reality, and Severus found himself struggling to fully come to terms with it. There were so many questions racing around his head that he simply didn't have answers to, and they were beginning to make his skin prickle. What would he do now? Would he continue to work creating potions for the ministry or would he seek his own enterprises? Would he keep Spinner's End or sell it? Would he still continue to live in this cottage he loved so well despite the fact the he was no longer obligated to be there?

The uncertainty of it all was overwhelming, and Severus' joy at being free conflicted sharply with his feeling that the future was too full of things yet to be resolved. He closed his eyes and evened out his breathing, telling himself that to focus on anything other than relief at being free was foolish.

He was startled slightly when he felt a hand at the base of his neck, but the familiarity of it counteracted the surprise and soothed him. He opened his eyes and smiled as Harry took a seat opposite him. The man was wrapped up in his dressing gown, his hair adorably ruffled, an overall air of sleep still clinging to him.

"How long have you been out here?" he asked, wrapping his dressing gown more tightly around himself.

Severus glanced around and noted that the dawn atmosphere had dissipated. "I don't know," he replied, "a fair while, I suppose."

Harry smiled and said, "Too many things in your head?"

"There are always too many things in my head," Severus said quietly, "but I can usually organise them better than this. Each thought is jostling for attention and I haven't the energy to attend to them all."

"Then might I suggest you don't? Just for a little while at least. Give yourself a little headspace, don't try and force yourself to come to terms with too much too soon."

Severus nodded, seeing the sense in what Harry said. It wasn't his custom to brush things aside so easily, but he feared he would have to or else drive himself insane thinking about everything.

"Go and get dressed," Harry said gently. "We're going to take the bike for a spin, blow some of those cobwebs out."

Twenty minutes and a quick shower later, Severus was sitting astride the motorbike behind Harry, holding on tightly to the man's waist. Unlike the previous time they had done this, Severus didn't have to hide behind any pretences. He grabbed hold of Harry and pressed himself up against him as tightly as he was able, revelling in being so close to the man.

They rode smoothly along the winding country lanes, Harry handling the bike with ease and skill, riding it much the same way he did a broom. He was confident and in control, and Severus realised with a slight jolt that he liked Harry being so, he liked placing himself in Harry's careful hands and surrendering his autonomy to him.

He breathed in the familiar scent of Harry's hair as it carried on the wind and felt a tendril of wonder shiver through him at the thought that he was free to do this. Harry had kissed him last night, had said that he wanted to give them a chance, and the thought that he might be able to have a fraction of what he wanted was too thrilling to contemplate.

They rode for nearly an hour, and Severus realised that it was the first time he had been able to stray outside the 30-mile lockdown. Harry guided them along a narrow little path that seemed too old and tiny to possibly be a road. They rode through a dense arch of trees that blocked out nearly all the light even with many of the branches still bare. The bike slowed and Severus' eyes adjusted to the sudden burst of light as they came out through the trees and he could finally see that they had come to a small sandy cove.

Harry parked the bike up under a thick patch of trees and turned off the engine. He hopped off and Severus levered himself off the bike. He stood for a moment looking out at the sea, smiling as the salty air greeted his senses.

"I thought you might want to see the sea," Harry said softly. "It's what I'd want to see if I'd been shut away for so long."

Severus directed his smile towards Harry and said with a nod, "You thought correctly. I have always loved the sea."

Harry held out his hand and Severus took it, the action alien yet strangely familiar. Their fingers threaded together and they strolled slowly towards the shore. Despite the pounding of his heart, Severus felt a sense of peace wash over him as he walked hand-in-hand with the man he loved, the man he might one day be able to tell that to.

The air was still fresh and brisk, and they walked closely to draw warmth from each other's bodies. Severus was still having trouble believing that he was free to do this, that he had no one governing his actions anymore. It felt as though he were walking through a dream and he fully expected to be rudely jolted awake at any moment.

They strolled parallel to the sea, the cove deserted save for themselves. Eventually, Harry stopped walking and dropped Severus' hand so he could turn to stand in front of him. He smiled shyly up him, biting his lip in that way that Severus had forbidden the night before.

"May I kiss you?" he asked softly.

Severus quirked an eyebrow and said, "Are you going to ask me every time?"

"Quite possibly," Harry said, his eyes dancing with mirth.

"Might ruin the mood after a while," Severus returned, and Harry grinned before he moved closer and tilted his head up to meet Severus' lips with his own. Severus wound his arms around the man's waist and held him gently as Harry guided the kiss. It was tentative and measured but it promised more, hinted that there was a need underlying the man's actions.

Harry's arms were wrapped around his neck, and Severus couldn't help but think that their bodies moulded perfectly to one another. It was as though Harry was meant to be in his arms, as though he had been made to wrap around Severus and melt into him. It felt too good to be true, to have this beautiful man kissing him willingly, to be able to hold him and touch him as he had wanted to do for months.

Harry pulled back but nuzzled his nose against Severus' cheek in a gesture that was so familiar and affectionate it made Severus' heart leap. There was much to be said for sexual tension and the joys of lust, but those things he had experienced in the past and they had left him hollow. Affection and tenderness were things he had little knowledge of, and he could think of no better way to learn them than under Harry's gentle tutelage.

"It must be obvious to you by now that I feel more than friendship for you," Harry whispered as he rested his head against Severus' cheek. "If you don't want that then you have to tell me."

Severus huffed an amused sigh and said, "In the last few months I had begun to think what an intelligent, astute man you are. Please don't make me revise that opinion."

Harry pulled back to look at him, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "That being the case, I meant what I said yesterday, about taking it slowly. I'm…still a little confused in my own mind about…about a lot of things, but what I feel is real enough. I want to see if we can have something…something other people manage to have."

Severus didn't know how to respond to that. It was too overwhelming to consider what Harry was proposing. Could they be like Ron and Draco, sitting cuddled on the sofa, others accepting their relationship and being pleased for them? He hadn't realised how much he had wanted such a thing until the possibility was within arm's reach.

He found he couldn't properly form the words to let Harry know and so instead settled for brushing the hair from Harry's forehead and letting his hand rest on the man's cheek. Harry smiled up at him and he tried very hard not to get carried away by the alien feeling of hope that rose up in his chest.

He knew how dangerous it was to succumb to such a thing. He had hoped for things before, had allowed himself to be vulnerable to such treacherous desires and it had always ended badly. This was different though, this was Harry. If he believed in nothing else, he believed that Harry would rather cut off his own arm than hurt him.

"Do you have any ideas how you'd like to spend your first proper day of freedom?" Harry asked, his hands resting lightly on Severus' shoulders.

Severus shook his head. "Given that I never truly believed I would be a free man I never considered how I would celebrate such a state."

"Well then, would you permit me to make the decision for you?"

Severus let his hand settle in the small of Harry's back, the touch more possessive than he had meant it to be. Harry didn't seem to mind, indeed he pulled himself closer as Severus said, "You've done well enough so far, I'm willing to put myself in your hands for the rest of the day."

Harry gave him an impish grin and said, "Now there's a thought." He stepped closer and pulled his body tightly up against Severus', his lips hovering close to Severus' ear as he whispered, "Hold on then," and apparated them from the spot.

The day passed in a happy blur. They had lunch in the Tuscan hills in a restaurant that was little more than someone's living room. The food was exquisite, the view breath-taking and the family who cooked for them, delightful. They sat on the balcony afterwards, sipping delicious coffee and enjoying one another's company as they spoke at length.

There was a constant frisson of energy between them, something conspiratorial that spoke of more to come and yet Severus found talking to Harry to be easy and natural. He spoke like a man much older than 20, a man who had seen and done things that most never would, and yet there was an innocence to him that Severus found himself feeling deeply protective of.

After their coffee Harry apparated them to Norway and they strolled around the stunning town of Flam. The sense of freedom was staggering, and several times Severus found himself gazing out on the beauty of the fjord, sure he would wake up in his cell in Azkaban at any moment. In those moments, Harry's hand would slip into his own and give it a gentle squeeze. He didn't know how Harry guessed what he was feeling, but he was glad of the comfort the man provided, although he was baffled that he could do so without saying anything.

Late evening found them sitting on a rock eating fish and chips from the paper and staring out, once again, at the sea. They were in a small cove along the Jurassic Coast and, apart from the odd dog walker who passed by now and again, they had the place to themselves.

"I haven't done this since I was a child," Severus said, licking the salt from his fingers.

Harry smiled and popped another vinegar-soaked chip in his mouth. "I hadn't done it at all until a couple of years ago. George brought me here one evening, a few weeks after we'd started living together. He said it was criminal to have got to my age and never eaten fish and chips on the beach."

He paused, looking out to the sea with a thoughtful smile, then said, "If it weren't for the Weasleys I don't think I would have any experience of what a proper family's like."

Severus frowned and placed his fish and chips to one side, thinking that perhaps the time had come to address one of the many things that had gone ignored between them. "Your life with the Dursleys," he began, and Harry turned to look at him. "I didn't realise, at the time, how bad it was."

Harry shrugged and looked back out to the horizon. "No worse than some, no worse than yours," he said quietly.

"I…I had conjured up an image of what your childhood must have been like," Severus said, feeling horribly uncomfortable. "I believed you must have been pampered, adored."

Harry scoffed and balled up the remains of his dinner, banishing it in one smooth action. "I was hated," he said with a surprising lack of bitterness. "I wasn't wanted and they made it known at every possible opportunity."

"I'm sorry," Severus said. "I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge it at the time, when I saw your memories during our lessons."

"We both saw things in each other's pasts I daresay we'd rather not have done," Harry said softly, turning back to face him with a sad smile. "Changing how you see someone isn't easy, not when you've fostered an interpretation of them for so long. It was easier for me to carry on hating you rather than to admit what my father and Sirius had done to you, just as I expect it was easier for you to blame me for my father's actions."

"I had no right to do so," Severus said, feeling burdened by his admission. "I saw you as nothing more than an extension of your father, I put all my feelings towards him onto you. I can finally admit how wrong I was to do so."

"People make mistakes, we're lucky in that we get to try and rectify ours."

Severus shook his head in disbelief and said, "You're being far more generous than I have any right to expect."

Harry gave him a crooked smile and said, "Just as long as you're not with me as a way to get back at my dad."

"Harry, you know I – "

"I'm just teasing," Harry said softly and moved closer. He gave a gentle laugh and said, "This is what I meant when I said that things were complicated between us. There's a lot of…history, and that won't just go away overnight…but I reckon we have all the time we need to figure it out."

Severus reached out and wrapped an arm around Harry, pulling him closely against his body. Harry tucked his head under Severus' chin and snuggled in, Severus again marvelling at how well they fit together. He wondered if he would always feel the same thrill whenever he had Harry in his arms.

"Thank you for today," he murmured into the thatch of Harry's hair. "It was a wonderful way to celebrate my first day as a free man."

"There'll be many more to come," Harry replied, leaning up to press a kiss to Severus' jaw.

Severus closed his eyes and held Harry close. It was a misnomer of course to assert that he was a free man. He was all too aware that his heart belonged to the man in his arms, that all his actions from here on out would be governed by that fact. He still felt woefully unworthy of Harry, but, in time, perhaps he could come to remedy that.

* * *

"For the love of Merlin, if you don't let the matter drop, I will turn you into something finely diced that can go into a potion."

"You are such a rotten old spoilsport! I'm sure you were more fun than this years ago. This needs to be celebrated."

"George," Severus growled, fixing the man with as forceful a glare as he could muster.

"Oh fine, fine!" George said, throwing his hands up in defeat. "No party then, but you should do _something_ to mark the occasion. It's not every day a person gets acquitted you know."

"I marked the occasion perfectly well, thank you. I spent a very pleasant day with Harry," Severus replied, turning the heat down on the cauldron and giving the contents a brisk stir.

"Oh," said George, leaning against the workbench and crossing his arms. Severus didn't need to look up to know the man had a grin on his face. "Well, isn't that nice?"

Severus sighed and said, "Was there something you wanted, or are you just here to interrupt my brewing?"

"You're not the most hospitable of blokes, Snape, has anyone ever told you that?" Seeing that another glare was about to be sent his way, George continued, "I came here with an offer, an offer of work."

Severus reached for a rag and wiped his hands, looking at George with a raised eyebrow. "I feel I am unsuited to selling practical jokes to snotty-nosed children."

George grinned. "That isn't _all_ Wheezes does, you know. We have a growing line in research as well, and I would like to offer you the position of Potions Researcher. Several of the products we'd like to bring to market require expert potions and there's no one I'd trust more. I know you probably have other things you want to get on with, so it can be a part-time post if you like."

"I haven't yet decided if I'll continue supplying the Ministry. I don't know what incentives they might offer and I have no desire to work for those that resent my very existence."

George nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Well, apart from me, there are others that would benefit from your expertise. You know that everyone with a brewing license is controlled by the Ministry, so there are lots of people going without potions they desperately need. Maggie runs a…racket…for want of a better word, getting potions to those who need it. It's hugely illegal and if the Ministry found out you'd be locked up in Azkaban for good with no chance of ever getting out."

Severus frowned. He knew this was happening, Maggie had alluded to it at their first meeting, but he knew very little about it. Those who were being supplied were no doubt former Slytherins, his own students very possibly. The new laws forbade Slytherins from purchasing a number of potions that were deemed unsafe, but from what he had been told Severus knew that the law was used very liberally. If he were to help Maggie it would go some way to helping those who had been so disenfranchised, so wronged.

"I'll do whatever I can to help," he said eventually, and George nodded with a smile.

"Brilliant. In the meantime, what about my offer?"

"I'll consider it," Severus dryly, and George grinned at him. "That wasn't a yes," Severus added, recognising the gleam in the man's eye.

"I'll give it a week," George said as he headed for the workshop door, "then you'll accept."

Severus shook his head as he watched him go. He would accept, of course he would. He needed some kind of income and he rather suspected that brewing illegal potions for Maggie wouldn't provide him with a steady one. It would be interesting if nothing else. He knew that George was capable of great ingenuity, and it would be nice to be provided with a new challenge.

He turned the heat off underneath the cauldron and made a mental note to check back once the mixture was fully cooled so he could decant it. He left the workshop and walked out into the sunshine, pleased that Spring was doing its best to beat Winter into a retreat.

Harry was in the other outbuilding, performing a couple of maintenance jobs on the bike. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, his hands and forearms covered in grease. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead and his cheeks were pleasantly flushed. Severus drank in the sight of the man, trying not to smile as he was reminded, yet again, how very beautiful Harry was.

It had been a couple of weeks since his acquittal and since he and Harry had agreed to give their strange little arrangement a go. They were still taking things slowly, but the kisses had increased in frequency and intensity, and there were more touches than there had ever been.

It was still remarkably chaste, the most innocent thing Severus had ever experienced in his life. He had thought he was too wretched, too tainted for something so pure, but with each gentle touch from Harry, he was beginning to think that perhaps he was not so very beyond redemption.

Harry looked up as Severus approached, smiling up at him from his position crouched next to the bike. Severus leant against the workbench that was currently strewn with Harry's tools and watched as Harry appeared to wrestle with a wrench and part of the bike Severus couldn't identify.

"Stubborn bugger," Harry muttered, putting his strength into it. Severus watched as the man's muscles rippled beautifully, finding that apparently the greased-up mechanic look really seemed to do it for him. It mightn't have looked quite so good on anyone of course; Severus rather suspected that Harry could wear an old flour sack and he would find him thoroughly appealing.

"George gone?" Harry asked, rummaging around in the toolbox by his knee.

"Mm," Severus replied. "He came to make me an offer of work."

"Thought he might," Harry replied, selecting something that looked like an instrument of torture. "He's been banging on about it for ages. I hope you're not taking it as charity, he really does need you, and he's thrilled at the thought of having someone with your expertise to work with."

"I'll accept his offer, and live to regret it I'm sure."

Harry smiled as he put all his weight behind the bolt he was trying to shift. "Bet you any money you enjoy it. A new challenge will be good for you."

"Did I not serve my penance trying to teach you for six years?"

"I was a model student," Harry retorted, finally winning his battle against the stubborn bolt and eyeing it victoriously.

"Have you sustained a blow to the head? It's the only thing I can think of that would cause such a lapse in memory."

Harry rose to his feet with a grin. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't wipe this grease all over you," he said, waving his filthy hands towards Severus.

"Because you have a better sense of self-preservation than that," Severus said smoothly, folding his arms over his chest. "Come anywhere near me and I'll hex you."

"Does that mean I have to ask permission for a kiss then?" Harry asked, doing his best to look doe-eyed and innocent.

"You'll get nothing from me until you're in a fit state again."

"Spoilsport."

Unable to deny Harry anything, even in as filthy a state as he was, Severus reached out and grabbed a fistful of the man's t-shirt and pulled him into a brief but delightful kiss. Harry smelt faintly metallic and of something that Severus couldn't quite identify, and before he knew it, Harry was fully in his arms.

"Sorry," Harry murmured against his lips, "I've got you all dirty."

"Worth it," Severus replied as he wrapped an arm around Harry's slim waist. As always, Harry fitted to him perfectly, their chests pressed together, their hips aligned. It would have been so easy to tilt himself slightly, to press his hardening erection against Harry, but there was something so sweet about such a simple kiss that he didn't want to ruin it. Harry had asked to take it slowly after all and he was determined to let the man set the pace of things.

Harry pulled back, a happy, gentle smile on his lips. "A fella could get used to that, you know," he said with a blush.

The man was too adorable for words, Severus thought, then immediately squashed the feeling back down. Surely he was not so far gone as to be entertaining such insipid, saccharine thoughts? Hadn't he always prized experienced lovers? Hadn't he always sneered at the innocent? How was it now then that Harry's innocence sparked something in him that he thought long-since dead?

It suddenly occurred to him that Harry's desire to take things slowly might have something to do with his lack of experience. The others had teased him at New Year about the scarcity of his sexual partners, but Severus hadn't realised that it could mean the man had never had any. It seemed unlikely; Harry was beautiful, there should be a queue of people lining up for him, but perhaps that hadn't been the case.

"I've ruined your shirt," Harry said, dabbing at the grease he had smeared all over Severus' shirt.

"As I said, it was worth it," Severus said, running his hand over the small of Harry's back.

"And I so wanted to keep you sweet, as well, considering I have a huge favour to ask you."

"Oh?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"Feel free to say no, this is your home too after all, but I was wondering how you might feel about having Teddy to stay next weekend?"

Ignoring the jolt that had gone through him at Harry saying that the cottage was his home too, Severus ran a thumb along Harry's cheekbone. "I believe I made that very suggestion to you myself not too long ago."

Harry seemed to relax a little and he said with a smile, "Well yes, but these things are easily said. Anyway, now you're a free man you don't have stay while Teddy's here. I wouldn't expect you to."

"And leave you alone with a toddler? I rather think not. There should be at least one person in the house with all their mental faculties intact."

Harry grinned. "I promise I'll do all the hard work. I just…I want Teddy to know me…and you," he added softly. "I'm rather hoping you'll be a fixture in both our lives."

Harry, it seemed, was going to spend the rest of his life overwhelming him. Just when he thought the man could say nothing else to surprise him, he surpassed himself once more and did just that. Finding, once again, that there was little he could say in response, he settled for pressing a soft kiss to Harry's lips and releasing him from his hold.

Knowing that that had been Severus' answer, Harry smiled and turned his attention back to the bike. He pulled a messy rag out of his back pocket and a slip of paper fell out as he did so. Harry didn't seem to notice so Severus bent down to retrieve it. His blood ran cold as he saw what was written upon it.

Staring at him in blood-red ink were the words "You have blood on your hands, Potter. Soon it will be your own. Your days are numbered".

"Harry," Severus said, a quiver in his voice, "what the hell is this?"

Harry turned around to face him, his eyes going to the note in Severus' hand. He went a little pale but squared his shoulders and met Severus' eyes. "It's nothing," he said, shaking his head.

"It doesn't look like nothing, it looks like a death threat," Severus said, fighting not to sound too much like Molly.

"Exactly," Harry said, far too calmly for Severus' liking. "It's just a threat, nothing more. Nothing ever comes of these things."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked, his eyes narrowing. "Are you saying there have been more of them?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I get two or three or month. It's no big deal. I pass them over to Ron and he does what he can to trace them. Usually it's someone who lost a loved one in the war and think I'm the devil incarnate for trying to help the Slytherins. These things are never meant, they're just the product of the climate we're living in."

Severus hated how blasé Harry was being about the matter. Death threats weren't something to be taken lightly, even if they were from those blinded by grief. Maggie had said all those months ago that things weren't easy for Harry in the wizarding world, but he hadn't realised the extent of it.

"Something should be done about these, Harry."

"There's nothing that can be done," Harry said. "The Ministry don't want to know, I actually think they're thrilled it's happening," he said with a faint look of disgust. "This place is warded so heavily that a fly can't land within ten miles of here without me knowing it."

"There are other places they could get you, Harry," Severus said, wishing Harry would acknowledge the severity of the situation.

"I'm aware of that," Harry said softly, moving to stand opposite Severus again. "I'm careful, I promise, but I truly believe these things will never come to anything. Now," he said in that tone of voice that said the conversation was over, "I'll finish up here and then we can think about dinner."

He pressed a quick peck to Severus' lips and gave his arm a squeeze before moving to kneel back down next to the bike. Severus watched him, realising that his job of protecting the man was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave me a comment and let me know.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"So, how doable is that, do you think?" George asked as he sat opposite from Severus in the office of the Wheezes shop.

"It's possible in theory, but it might take some time to find a stable formula. There are some unreliable ingredients that I'd need to use and I'll have to find a way to make them usable."

"How long will you need?" George asked, leaning back in his chair, crossing his long legs at the ankle.

"A month, give or take," Severus replied, and George nodded, looking pleased.

"That'll work nicely if we aim for a product launch around the spring equinox. The spiritual types will love it."

Severus nodded, noting again that George was more of a business man than he cared to let on. He had always been aware of how intelligent the man was, indeed in some circles he could well be regarded as a genius, but behind the boyish smiles and prankster guise there was a shrewd and methodical man.

He was also aware that George was not a well man. He employed a glamour frequently, but it often slipped, showing the tired paleness of his skin and the dark circles under his eyes. He would often turn to his right, his mouth opening on the beginning of a sentence, only to realise that the space next to him was unoccupied. The realisation would hit him like a bludger to the gut and his jaw would clench as he tried to compose himself.

It was painful to watch, and Severus could only imagine how it affected those closest to him. The Weasleys were mourning the loss of a son and brother, but he knew that their grief was now being diverted to worry over the twin that had been left behind.

It was lucky that Draco spent most of his days at the shop, and Severus had seen for himself how good the man was for George. They bickered and sniped at one another like an old married couple and there was a comfortable familiarity to their actions that gave George something to depend on. Draco, in his altered, adult incarnation, was measured and controlled, gentle but firm. He managed to keep George's sometimes volatile personality in check and could calm and soothe where others simply annoyed.

"Oh hello, you're in here, are you?" said Ron as he poked his head around the office door. "I've popped in to take Drake to lunch, you two fancy coming?"

Severus, who knew that Harry would be out all day with Hermione, nodded his assent, while George said, "Yeah, why not? It won't kill me to close the shop for an hour or so. Mondays are always dead anyway."

"Neither of you will do the way you are though," said Ron, extracting his wand from the back pocket of his jeans as Severus and George stood. "We're off to the muggle side of things, we'll have to fit in."

A couple of neat transfiguration spells later and George was in dark navy jeans and a dark green shirt, while Severus found himself in neat black trousers and a plain white shirt. He raised an eyebrow at Ron and the man grinned at him, saying,

"In another life I was personal stylist. I should really start offering my services."

Draco appeared at Ron's elbow and tucked himself into the man's side, saying, "Your services belong to me, don't go pimping them out."

"As if I would, love," Ron said with a smile, leaning down and meeting Draco in a gentle kiss.

Severus longed to sneer at them, but he found he just didn't have the heart. They were good together, they made each other very obviously happy and their open and natural displays of affection were too genuine to be mocked.

The four of them walked through Diagon Alley and through the Leaky Cauldron to the muggle side of London. After the hostile stares and non-too subtle whispers Severus had endured, to be ignored entirely as they strolled along the streets was wonderful.

He had expected it, of course, and it was true that not everyone had looked at him as though trying to make his head explode with the power of thought alone. Still, he had felt several pairs of eyes burning into him as he had made his way to George's shop, and it wasn't an experience he was keen to repeat in the near future.

Ron led them to a funny old pub that appeared to be magically-themed. George grinned upon seeing Severus' reaction and told him that they all enjoyed the irony of drinking in a muggle pub that dressed itself up as magical.

They took a seat in a booth in the corner while Ron got the drinks in and picked up a couple of menus. As he glanced around the place, Severus realised with a start that there were many faces in the pub that he recognised. There were people his own age and some much younger, but all were former Slytherins.

"They like it here," Draco said quietly, noticing that Severus had spotted them. "It's easier for them than to be in Diagon Alley." He glanced around and said sadly, "Some have made the move permanent, they've left the wizarding world entirely."

"It's unthinkable that things have become so unbearable," Severus said, feeling terribly burdened by the state of things. The situation was untenable and he felt a renewed resolve to help Harry and the others in their endeavours. Were it not for Harry and his sheer bloody-mindedness, Severus himself could be sitting alone at one of these tables, having sworn off the wizarding world forever.

They ate lunch and the topics of conversation returned to less worrisome ground. They spoke of the new product George and Severus were developing while Draco, ever the financier, began to formulate a pricing structure for it. It was uncanny really. If the man weren't so undeniably handsome, Severus would have been certain that he was part goblin.

There was news of Bill and his wife, whose little girl was approaching her first birthday. Molly was planning a spectacular birthday party for her first grandchild and had issued stern instructions that she fully expected everyone to be there. Severus supposed that imperative also extended to him now, and he knew better than to defy the will of the Weasley matriarch.

Charlie had also been summoned home and had agreed, rather reluctantly, to leave his beloved dragons for a week or so in order to attend. Molly had largely given up hoping that her son might make a permanent return to England, but that didn't stop her from demanding his presence when she felt it necessary. She still had hopes of finding him a nice woman to settle down with, but from what Ron and George said, she would be hoping for a long time yet.

After their meal was finished, George and Draco went to the bar to get another round in and Ron gave Severus a gentle nudge with his foot.

"Something wrong?" he asked, draining the last of his pint.

"Why do you ask?" Severus said, wondering how Ron somehow managed to see past all his defences. His ability to remain thoroughly impassive seemed to have abandoned him during his time in Azkaban.

"You seem preoccupied. Has something happened?"

Severus sighed and folded his hands on the table in front of him. "I…I found a death threat to Harry the other day."

"Ah," Ron said with a nod. "And now you're worried past yourself?"

"Of course, shouldn't I be? Harry seems to think it's nothing to bother about. He's hideously unmoved by the whole thing."

"Well, he does get two or three a month," Ron said with a shrug.

"And that's supposed to make me fret less?" Severus asked in disbelief.

"No, I don't think anything will do that," Ron replied with an amused smile, and Severus had to fight the urge to hex him. "It's just that this isn't new for Harry, he's used to it by now. I know it must have come as a shock to you, but we all get them, we have to ignore them."

"You get them too?"

"I was getting one a week when it got out that Drake was living with me. They're vile and thoroughly unpleasant, but we have to ignore them or we'll send ourselves mad. I know how…protective you are of Harry…perhaps more so now, hm?" Ron said, a Dumbledore-esque twinkle in his eye.

Severus tried to think of a suitably crushing response, but found none came to hand. He raised his chin defiantly and Ron's grin grew wider.

"It's the way you look at him," Ron said softly. "The way you look at each other. I won't pry, it's personal after all, but I hope you manage to make each other happy. Merlin knows you both deserve it."

Severus felt his cheeks heat and he looked down at the table, unable to meet Ron's clear blue eyes. He was sure he would face condemnation for daring to want someone as untainted as Harry, and just because Ron seemed to be accepting, didn't mean everyone else would be.

"It's early days yet," he said, trying to aim for nonchalant. "I'd prefer it if you didn't say anything."

"Of course," Ron said, and Severus could hear the smile in his voice. "But if I've noticed then I'm sure other people close to you both will too." There was a pause then Ron said calmly, "If you're worried about what people will think then I shouldn't bother if I were you."

Severus raised his head, perturbed, and said, "When did you become so intimately acquainted with the inner workings of my mind?"

Ron snorted and replied, "You're not that hard to read, Severus. Besides, it's a particular talent of mine, one I enjoy wheeling out to surprise people and remind them I'm not the thick-headed oaf they think I am."

"I can't believe anyone thinks that of you," Severus said with a shake of his head. "Not if they have any brain cells at all."

"I shall take that as a compliment, a bloody good one for you actually."

"Take it however you wish," Severus said as Draco and George returned with the drinks. Ron winked and raised his glass to him while Severus raised his own glass in order to hide his smile.

* * *

Severus could never have imagined that there would be such sweet pleasure in kissing Harry. There was nothing sophisticated or worldly about the way Harry kissed, but the passion, the tenderness behind each encounter was breath-taking.

Harry held nothing of himself back each time he was in Severus' arms, and Severus loved him all the more for it. He was responsive and warm, and each time Severus kissed him, it felt as though he was giving Harry everything he wanted.

He couldn't help but entertain fantasies of what it would be like to take Harry to bed. Every innocent touch provoked such a delicious response that Severus could only imagine what less innocent touches would produce. He dreamt of having Harry beneath him, of that beautiful body writhing with pleasure, pleasure that only Severus could give him.

He spent long nights imagining how perfect it would be to finally sink inside Harry, to claim him so completely. He would take his time to make love to Harry, to make him remember every last second of it. He would make sure that all Harry felt was wave after wave of pleasure, that he would know how much he was cherished.

"Mm," Harry moaned softly as he tilted his head backwards to allow Severus to lay a hot trail of kisses along his jaw and down his throat. His fingers curled in the fabric of Severus' shirt and Severus held him firmly, one hand pressed against the base of his spine.

Harry's breath came in staggering whispers, dancing along the edge of Severus' senses as he continued to mercilessly attack Harry's vulnerable throat. Every inch of Harry's skin seemed wonderfully sensitive, and one day he would be allowed to explore it fully.

"We…we have to stop," Harry said breathily. "They'll be here any second."

"I'll stop when I hear the doorbell," Severus murmured against Harry's skin.

Harry laughed and made more of an attempt to pull back, his eyes bright, his cheeks flushed. "I can't greet Andromeda in this state. She'll think I've lost my mind!"

"Especially if she were to know who it was that put you in this state."

Harry grinned and wound his arms around Severus' neck. "Imagine what you'd be able to do to me if we were doing more than kissing."

"Fucking hell, Harry," Severus growled, grabbing the man's hips and pulling him up against him tightly. "There's only so much a man can take, you know."

"I know," Harry whispered softly, pulling himself up to nuzzle Severus' jaw. "And I'm almost at breaking point." Harry ran a hand down Severus' chest and bit his lip, igniting a fire in the pit of Severus' stomach. "I thought I'd be able to hold out a little longer than this, but every time I'm near you I just…" he trailed off, looking up at Severus through his lashes.

"I'll be led by you, Harry," Severus said, trying to bring his voice under control.

"Well," Harry said, his cheeks flushing again, "obviously this weekend's out…but maybe…maybe after Teddy's gone?"

He was nervous and a little embarrassed, but Severus could see the desire in his eyes, matched, he was sure, by his own. He wouldn't rush Harry, not for anything in the world, but the second Harry told him he was ready, his own resolve would be done for.

"Whenever you say," Severus said softly, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's lips. It seemed to cool the fires slightly and Harry gave a happy little sigh, his lashes dark against his cheeks as he pulled back with his eyes still closed.

The doorbell rang, pulling Harry out of his dreamlike state. "I knew they'd be early!" he said, his eyes wide, looking like a naughty schoolboy who'd been caught in the corridor after curfew.

Severus smirked and reached out to smooth Harry's wild hair down, then adjusted the man's shirt so he didn't look quite as rumpled. Harry smiled then disentangled himself and headed for the front door. He opened it and was immediately assaulted by Teddy, who threw himself at Harry's legs and clung on happily.

"He hasn't stopped since this morning," Andromeda said with a tired smile as Harry scooped Teddy up onto his hip and carried him into the house, Andromeda following. "He's been so excited about coming to stay with you. Oh hello Severus," she said, noticing Severus hovering by the stairs.

"Andromeda," Severus said politely, inclining his head in greeting. Teddy waved at him, apparently the only child in existence who wasn't frightened by him. "Master Lupin," he said with exaggerated formality, and Teddy giggled, his hair turning black immediately.

"You should be flattered," Harry told him, looking extraordinarily pleased. "He only changes his hair to match someone he really likes."

"It's remarkable that he displays such powers at such a young age," Severus said, directing his comment towards Andromeda as they all seated themselves in the living room, Teddy happily ensconced on his godfather's lap.

Andromeda looked at her grandson affectionately and said, "He's a remarkable sort of child, and I don't just say that as an adoring grandmother. He has quite a strong tendency to his metamorphagus powers and has more control over them than his mother had at his age. He was never one for baby talk either, he just launched into full sentences and speaks as frequently as he can."

Andromeda's love for the little boy was palpable, but, as he had done at Christmas, Severus could detect something else underlying the woman's speech. There was a tiredness about her that seemed to be about more than raising an almost 3-year-old on her own. She had carefully applied her make-up but there still seemed to be a grey tinge to her face, and the lines around her eyes had nothing to do with age.

Harry served them all tea, apart from Teddy who had a glass of squash. Harry had gone into something of a meltdown a couple of days ago and had gone to the large muggle grocery store in the next town to stock the fridge and cupboards with an assortment of things he believed a child would like. Andromeda had assured him that Teddy wasn't a fussy eater and would wolf down whatever was put in front of him, but Harry seemed to be very firmly of the belief that children were to be spoilt rotten, and the kitchen was full to bursting with every sort of confectionery imaginable.

Teddy was quite possibly going to go home several pounds heavier and with all his milk teeth rotting away. Severus knew that Harry wasn't trying to buy the boy's affections, he didn't need to after all, but he was very keen that Teddy's first stay at the cottage would be a success and that it would lead to many more in the future.

"He'll need a nap around two in the afternoon and his bedtime is half seven. He's quite a good sleeper but he does like a couple of stories before he'll properly settle down."

"I brought my books, Nana," Teddy said, looking up from the colouring book he'd been scribbling in. "All the bestest ones."

"I know sweetheart," Andromeda said with a smile. "Did you remember to pack Rufus?"

"Course," Teddy said seriously, as though the very idea he wouldn't was laughable.

"I take it Rufus is nothing living?" asked Severus, feeling mildly disconcerted that he would have to share his living space with some sort of rodent.

"He's my hippogriff," Teddy told Severus, and Harry laughed at the look on the man's face.

"Hagrid gave him a toy one when he was a baby. It never leaves his side," Harry explained while Teddy nodded sagely from his position on the floor.

"You can borrow him if you need him though," Teddy said, looking at Severus.

"I – " Severus began, but Teddy cut him off, saying,

"Nana says you didn't have a very nice time where you were before. Rufus always makes me feel better when I'm not very happy, so you can borrow him if he makes you feel better."

Severus swallowed around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. He had never had such a heartfelt or well-meaning offer in his life, and the sincerity with which Teddy had said it was humbling. The man he had once been would have sneered, would have perhaps tried to hide his contempt for the sake of a child but would have felt it nevertheless. The man he now was could only muster up the ghost of a smile and say softly,

"Thank you Teddy, that's a very generous offer."

* * *

Severus had always been under the impression that he didn't like children. His time as a teacher had done nothing to disabuse him of that notion and he had spent most of his life cultivating a healthy dislike for anyone under the age of majority. Teddy, though, seemed to be an exception to that rather ungenerous rule.

He was a quiet and thoughtful little boy, happy to entertain himself and keep himself amused. He was also happy in the company of others and seemed to enjoy being in the midst of a conversation where he could sit and listen to people talk, his intelligent eyes darting between the participants while he tried to make sense of what he heard.

He was gentle and affectionate, and the first time the little boy had crawled up into his lap, Severus had nearly died of shock. Harry had given him an encouraging smile, clearly thrilled with the situation, and Severus had gingerly held Teddy in place while the little boy outlined the plot of the book he was reading.

"Well done. Now sprinkle in the iron filings," Severus instructed as Teddy sat on his lap at his workbench in the potions lab. Teddy did as he was told and watched with wonder as the mixture in the cauldron turned pink then began to fizz.

It was completely harmless, as all the others that they had made that afternoon had been. Severus had simply been mixing certain ingredients that he knew would produce a reaction and Teddy had been amazed by every one. He listened well and took instruction better than most of Severus' students had ever done.

"We'll make a Potions Master of you yet," Severus said softly as Teddy reached out and gave the mixture a stir.

Teddy nodded with a smile as he continued to watch the potion fizz and pop. He had Rufus, his toy hippogriff, wedged under one arm, and he tilted the animal's head up so it could see into the cauldron.

"Rufus likes it too," Teddy said, inclining his head to look up at Severus.

"He is a creature of remarkable sense and good taste," Severus replied, and Teddy giggled.

"No one talks like you, I like it," he said with an air of certainty that only children ever seemed to manage.

"So glad you approve," Severus said with a wry smile, and Teddy buried his face in Rufus' plush fur with a shy smile.

"Are you two coming in for your dinner, or are you going to play about with potions all evening?" came Harry's voice from the workshop doorway, and Severus turned to find him standing there with a beautiful smile on his face.

He knew it pleased Harry that he and Teddy were getting on so well and, honestly, if he had hated every second of it, Severus would have pretended otherwise for Harry's sake.

"Isn't Uncle Harry rude?" Severus asked, and Teddy nodded with a grin. "It's because he can't make potions and he's jealous."

"True," said Harry good-naturedly, "very true." He moved into the workshop and hoisted Teddy off Severus' lap and onto his hip. Severus rose from his stool and placed his hand on the small of Harry's back as all three of them left the lab and moved back into the house.

There was something so familiar, so comfortable about the way they all fit together that Severus had to wonder at how very altered he was as a person. He found a warmth spread through his chest as he helped Teddy wash his hands then settled him at the table while Harry plated up their dinner.

Teddy was very self-sufficient and resented the fact that he needed to sit on a cushion to boost himself up enough to sit properly at the table. He was also very adamant that he didn't need assistance feeding himself and for the most part he managed with great success.

As they sat and talked about the day, and as Harry and Teddy argued as to whether Teddy would have a bath after dinner, Severus thought he should have been sitting there hating every second of the domestic scene. As it was, he found himself lamenting the fact that Teddy was only staying for three nights, and the thought zipped through his mind, shocking him more than anything else had done in a while.

Dinner eaten, Severus offered to wash up while Harry took Teddy up for his much-maligned bath. As Severus moved the dishes over to the sink, Harry hoisted Teddy up onto his hip and moved to press a quick peck to his cheek.

"Come on trouble, let's get you upstairs," Harry said, disappearing from the kitchen with a giggling Teddy.

Severus watched them go, Harry's kiss still warm against his cheekbone. He had never felt this way before, never felt as though he belonged, that he was part of something. He had searched for it all his life and had never found it. He had been desperate to feel part of his parents' lives, to be wanted and accepted, but that had never happened.

He had joined Voldemort in an attempt to find a place and purpose in the world and only when it had been too late had he realised his mistake. He had thrown himself on Dumbledore's mercy and had hoped that he would find acceptance amongst his ranks. Only it never came. He was to spend the next twenty years as neither one thing nor another. He wasn't trusted by those in the Order and while he maintained his façade with the Death Eaters, he was disgusted by them.

Now, it felt as though the thing he had hungered for for so long might finally be within his grasp. He would never have imagined that his salvation lay with a beautiful, gentle man barely out of his teens and a sandy-haired toddler who, in the space of twenty-four hours, had wormed his way into Severus' heart.

He finished the dishes and moved into the sitting room. He picked up the book he had been reading earlier and settled down to read it, his mind continually straying to thoughts of Harry and Teddy. It was stupid, he knew, but nothing had ever felt quite so right to him. He loved the wonky little house in the middle of nowhere, he loved Harry, and he loved the life they were beginning to build together. It couldn't be this easy, surely?

He glanced up at the clock and realised that Harry had been upstairs for over an hour. He placed the book to one side and made his way up the stairs and across the landing to the bedroom that Harry had designated as Teddy's. He crossed over the threshold quietly and did his best not to smile at the sight that greeted him.

Harry and Teddy were curled up together on the single bed, fast asleep. Harry had one of Teddy's books open on his chest while Teddy was snuggled up next to him, his thumb wedged in his mouth, Rufus held tightly between them.

Yes, Severus thought as he made his way over to the bed, this felt dangerously like belonging. He knelt down and plucked the book from Harry's hands then gave him a gentle shake. Harry opened his eyes slowly and blinked up at him, then gave him a sheepish smile.

He disentangled himself from Teddy and carefully stood up, making sure not to wake the little boy as he did so. He smiled down at him, then levitated him gently and slid him under the covers, making sure Rufus went with him. He leant down and placed a kiss to Teddy's forehead and Severus' chest swelled with something he had never felt before.

Harry straightened up and turned around to face him with a sleepy smile. "I'm just as easy to put to sleep as a 3-year-old," he whispered. "That bed is insanely comfy, I'm thinking of swapping it for my own."

They wandered back out onto the landing, Harry closing Teddy's door halfway so that they would be able to hear him in the night if necessary. Severus reached out and pulled Harry into his arms, Harry going willingly and winding himself around Severus' body.

He nuzzled along Severus' jaw and Severus leant into the touch, bringing up his hand to cradle Harry's head. He drank in the warmth of Harry's body, revelled in his closeness. He had never expected freedom to look like this, to be in a wonky little house in the middle of nowhere with Harry Potter of all people, falling more in love with him by the second.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love Teddy? I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave a comment and let me know.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Severus hated to admit it, but he couldn't help but miss Teddy after the little boy had left. He had gone back to his grandmother with the promise of many regular visits for the future, and Andromeda had seemed relieved that his care would no longer be solely down to her.

Harry had taken it into his head that Teddy's bedroom needed to be redecorated so that the little boy felt it was truly his, not just the spare bedroom that he was allowed to stay in. He had covered it in animated wallpaper that depicted a myriad of fairy tales as well as the emblems of each Hogwarts house and the castle itself. It was beautiful, and Severus knew that Teddy would love it. He couldn't wait to watch the little boy be charmed by it.

Harry had also, Severus was certain, bought the entirety of the toy shop in Diagon Alley and filled Teddy's bedroom with all manner of toys, both magical and non-magical alike. He had bought child-sized furniture, an assortment of books and had plans to construct a den in the corner of the room with George's help. Severus had teased him several times about going overboard, but he himself couldn't wait to see the little boy's reaction.

"This is looking so much better," Harry said as he finished performing the healing spell on Severus' wound. "There's no residual magic left at all now, we just have to keep the skin healthy."

"I never thought I'd see the scarring reduce," Severus said, running his fingers along the much-diminished evidence of Nagini's attack.

"Maggie really knows her stuff," Harry said, pocketing his wand.

"You're the one performing the spell," Severus replied, shrugging himself back into his shirt.

"Do you have to cover back up?" Harry asked, halting his movements, leaving him standing there with his shirt open, his torso exposed.

"There's hardly much of a view to admire," Severus argued, still feeling rather embarrassed by his physique.

"I beg to differ," Harry said softly, running his fingers gently over Severus' chest. "You're practically a different man to the one that turned up on my doorstep eight months ago."

Severus supposed it was true. His health had improved drastically since coming to live with Harry. He was a stone and a half heavier, his muscles had begun to show a little definition once again, and his skin was all but healed. It would always bear the scars of his past, of course, but he found he didn't mind that as much as he used to.

Decent sleep, regular, healthy meals and an overall sense of security had ensured that he resembled nothing of the wraith he had once been. Indeed, now that he was all but fully recovered and a free man, he had to address the issue that had been plaguing him ever since his acquittal.

"Eight months," he said, closing his hand over Harry's, "I can hardly credit that it's been that long."

"Well, apart from the gloom of the trial hanging over our head, the whole thing's flown by," Harry said with a grin.

Severus nodded, threading his fingers through Harry's and taking a deep breath. "Harry, now that…now that the trial's behind us, that I'm no longer on parole…perhaps I should think about finding my own place to live."

Harry's fingers tightened around his own and he could tell he'd taken the man by surprise. "Oh," he said quietly. "Is that…is that what you want?"

Severus paused for a moment before saying, "This is your home, not mine. I haven't contributed anything to it, I was only meant to be here while I'd been given over to your custody. It stands to reason that I should leave."

Harry frowned, appearing to collect his thoughts for a moment, then said, "If that's something you feel you need to do then I'll support you completely. I understand more than most the need for independence, but I have to say this, so that there are no misunderstandings between us; I don't want you go. I know this is all a bit back to front and that most people start a relationship then move in together but we've never done things the way we're supposed to. I love living with you, it works, it makes sense. If you need to go, then do so, but don't do it out of some misplaced sense of obligation."

Severus stared down at the man, realising that he had been needing to hear him say exactly what he had just done. Whatever he had said, Harry's home felt more like home to him than anywhere else had ever done, and after being there for so long he couldn't imagine leaving it now.

"Maybe you should take some time to think it over," Harry said gently, removing his hand from Severus' and moving away. Severus caught him by the shoulder, unable to stop the smile from worming its way onto his lips.

"I don't need to think about it. Staying here would make me happier than I can adequately express."

Harry grinned up at him, relief etching itself into his features. "Thank God," he said, his voice a little rough. "You'd have broken my heart if you'd left."

Severus hadn't realised it had meant that much to Harry, that his presence in the house was as desired as it was welcome. For the first time in many years he felt a tiny sliver of hope make its way into his heart. He could have a future with Harry, he could have happiness, he just had to be brave enough to let himself.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door and moments later Hermione let herself in. Severus quickly did his shirt up, fighting a blush as he did so, while Harry went to greet her with a hug.

"Sorry to drop by unannounced, I was just going to pop over to Grimmauld, wondered if you wanted to come," she said, looking across to Severus to include him in the invitation.

"Grimmauld Place?" Severus said, feeling more composed now he was all buttoned up.

"Oh of course, I haven't got round to telling you about that yet, have I?" Harry asked, raking a hand through his hair and looking slightly guilty. "It's just…everything with the trial and then all the things that have been going on since," he said with a delightfully endearing blush, "I just haven't found the time."

"It's no big secret," Hermione said, looking at Harry with a wry smile. "Grimmauld is home to those who have been released from Azkaban and have nowhere else to go. Maggie's on hand for their treatments and we do our best to give them somewhere safe and comfortable to recuperate."

Seeing his look at her choice of adjectives, Harry elaborated, "Grimmauld's changed a lot since you were last there. We practically gutted the place, Bill and Charlie were invaluable."

Hermione grinned. "You can't beat the oldest Weasleys for a spot of manual labour!"

"I really should pop by, it's been ages since I was last there. Do you want to come?" Harry asked, turning to face him.

He was intrigued, there was no denying it, not to mention the fact that he felt he should be doing more to help those who had suffered as he had done. "Yes," he said with a nod, "I think I should."

"Great, I'll meet you there then," said Hermione, then apparated from the spot.

Harry held out his hand and Severus took it, pulling Harry into his arms for a slow and gentle kiss. Harry melted in his arms, as he always did, and Severus knew that it would take a force to rival Dumbledore and Voldemort together to see him leave their home.

Harry apparated them to the pavement outside Grimmauld Place and they ascended the stone steps as the house made itself visible to them. Severus felt a strong wave of magic wash over him as he approached the door, finding himself impressed with the power it must have taken to erect such wards.

"These defences are remarkable," he said. "Who put them – " He stopped as he noticed the slightly embarrassed smile on Harry's face. "Ah, of course," he said wryly. "I should have known. Who else but you has this much power?"

"It's not that big a deal," Harry said with a dismissive shrug. Severus knew better than to argue with the man, but he had only ever felt power like it from Dumbledore. Harry wasn't stupid; he was aware of the strength and depth of the power he possessed but, knowing Harry as he did, it was likely the very knowledge of it made Harry uncomfortable.

Having passed through the powerful wards, the door opened with a touch of Harry's wand, and Severus found himself standing in a light and airy entrance hall. Harry was right, this was nothing like he remembered.

Hermione was already deep in conversation with a group in the sitting room, so Harry took Severus on a tour of the place. It was changed beyond all recognition. The downstairs rooms were all communal spaces, consisting of the large sitting room, the kitchen, library and an examination room, which Maggie worked from. Upstairs had been magically expanded to comfortably house sixteen bedrooms, all of which were en-suite.

If he hadn't known it for himself, he would never have believed that this was the same place that had served as Order headquarters only a few years ago. It held no traces of the dark magic that had permeated the halls, had none of the gloom and misery that the walls had held for so many years. He could only imagine the time and effort that had gone into the house's transformation.

"Well, fancy seeing you here," said Maggie as Harry showed Severus into the examination room. "How's life treating you as a free man?"

"Very well, thank you," Severus replied, returning her smirk. "This is an impressive operation you have going here."

"Ah, I just work here, it's all down to our Boy Wonder," she said with a grin in Harry's direction.

Harry rolled his eyes good-naturedly and said, "As if it was just me that put all this together."

Severus said nothing but, given all he knew of Harry's activities after the war, he was willing to bet that the majority of it had been down to the man.

"Now," said Maggie, straightening out her already immaculate robes, "I'm very glad to see you, Mr-All-Important-Potions-Master. You're just the man I want."

"Hands off, he's taken," Harry mumbled, turning bright red as soon as he said it.

Maggie raised her eyebrows, her eyes glittering with amusement. "To think, only a few months ago I had to assure Severus that I wasn't after _you_. Well, how charming."

Harry, if it was possible, turned an even darker shade of red and pretended to be very interested in a wall chart that depicted the impact of various curses on the body. Oh Harry, thought Severus, you really are too adorable for words.

Maggie cleared her throat, clearly still deeply entertained by the situation. "If I might tear your attention from this charming romance for just a moment – " Severus glared at her. "I wanted to speak with you about potions for the residents here."

Severus had been expecting this as George had broached the subject with him previously. He nodded for Maggie to continue, and she did so, saying, "I can barely get my hands on half the things I need and they're largely sub-standard. Harry's told me about that fancy de-registered wand you've got, so any brewing you do would be completely under the radar. Of course, there's always the chance you'll be caught, nothing's bloody certain with this sodding Ministry. Even with your fancy wand, it could be a risk."

Severus had already made his mind up that he would assist Maggie and so his response came quickly. "Of course I'll help. Give me a list of everything you need and how often you'll be needing it."

"Fantastic," Maggie beamed. "You're worth your weight in gold, you little star."

Severus resumed his glare while Harry chuckled, seemingly recovered from his earlier embarrassment.

"Ah, Severus," said Hermione, popping her head round the door. Of all his former students, she seemed to struggle the most with using his given name. She always paused slightly before saying it, as though expecting points to be docked for her supposed infraction. "There are a few people who'd like to speak with you, if you don't mind."

He nodded his acquiescence and let her lead him from the examination room to the sitting room, Harry staying behind to talk to Maggie. He was surprised to see Neville standing at the large bay window, his hands clasped gently behind his back as he stood in conversation with a young woman. He wore the same expression that Severus had seen at the trial, and the air of confidence and authority he gave off was alarming. This was not the boy he had once known.

Hermione waved at him as they entered, and he waved back, inclining his head in a polite nod in Severus' direction. It was thoroughly disconcerting to see all these strange, adult incarnations of the children he had once known. It was remarkable how things could change in the space of two years.

Hermione led him over to the corner of the room where a small group was assembled on the comfy-looking armchairs. As Hermione introduced them all, he realised he already knew most of them. Some he had been at school with and others had been his students, the youngest of whom had only been three or four years ahead of Harry at school. Her name was Haizea Wainwright, a former Slytherin who had always been something of an outcast amongst her peers.

She had been studious and introverted, and hadn't made friends easily. She had always tended to blend into the background, her appearance not noteworthy enough to make her stand out for either good or bad reasons and she had seemed content to stay within the shadows. Severus learnt that she had been put in Azkaban a little over a year ago and had been there for seven months before she had been released.

She had never joined with Voldemort, nor expressed any support for his views. She had been working as a junior researcher for an international medical firm when she had been arrested, and now there seemed little hope of her resuming her former post.

She seemed frail and unwell, She was pale and thin, the effects of her time spent in prison showing clearly on her face and in the way she moved. It seemed to have taken its toll more on her mental wellbeing than anything, and Severus hoped she would find peace staying at Grimmauld Place with others who knew of the horrors she had suffered.

He spoke with the group for an hour or so, all exchanging stories of what had happened to them, how long they had been imprisoned, how long it had taken for them to be freed. Severus found himself staggered yet again at not only the Ministry's capacity for cruelty and insanity, but at Harry's sheer bloody-mindedness and determination. It was very apparent that but for him, along with Ron, Hermione and a few others, all the Slytherins in that room would still be behind bars.

The conversation came to a natural end and Severus found himself standing over by the bookcase, sipping a cup of tea and speaking with Neville. The man was taller than Severus could remember him being, and slimmer. He now fit his features, and Severus could see that in the next couple of years or so, Neville could well be a very handsome man.

"I didn't expect to see you here," he said as he sipped at his tea. He could tell that Harry had made it; no one managed to get it perfectly right the way Harry did.

"I act as liaison for the Ministry," Neville replied.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You work for the Ministry?" he asked, and Neville gave him a wolfish smile, the sort he would never have believed the man capable of.

"They gave me the job straight out of Hogwarts. I was, if you can believe it, something of a hot commodity then, being the slayer of Nagini and all," he said, rolling his eyes. "They were very quick to snap me up, thought it would do the world of good for their PR. They're kicking themselves now of course, doing everything they can to get me out."

"And, I take it, you have no intention of leaving?" Severus asked.

"Not a chance," Neville replied smoothly. "I'm the only one involved with fighting the action against Slytherins that has a foothold in the Ministry, and they'll have to drag me out of there in a box to get me to give it up." He paused for a moment, looking down into his half-drunk cup of tea. "This isn't the world I fought for, this isn't the world I tried to save from Vol-Voldemort," he said with a hint of his old stutter.

He cast his eyes about the room and Severus followed his line of sight, taking in the people who had nowhere else to go. "It shouldn't be like this," Neville said quietly. "It just isn't right. If it hadn't been for Harry standing up and railing against the system, putting all of this in place, finding people to help him with this cause, I shudder to think how things would be now."

"It's high time I joined in this fight," Severus said with a sigh.

Neville nodded and placed his cup on the mantlepiece beside him. "One day it'll be different and all of this will be worth it. It's just…just a shame we have to go through it all now. What these people have been through…what _you've_ been through…it's unthinkable to me."

Severus was saved answering by Harry appearing at his elbow, sliding an arm around his waist and saying, "We'd best be on our way, we have to stop by and see George on our way home."

Severus did his best to ignore the jolt that went through him at Harry's casual and open show of affection and replied, "I thought we were going for dinner at the Burrow tonight. It's George's birthday, isn't it?"

"Yes," said Harry with a smile, "but if you try talking business with George in front of Molly she'll string you up by your ankles. No business talk at the dinner table, it's strictly forbidden."

"Very well then," Severus said with a sigh, as he really did need to speak to George about the progress he had made with their new venture.

They bade farewell to the occupants of Grimmauld Place, and to Neville, Hermione and Maggie, all of whom were due at the Burrow later that night too. They left the house and apparated to Diagon Alley, and Severus had to steel himself against the looks that immediately came his way.

It wasn't getting any easier, but the disconcerting thing was that Harry seemed to be receiving his share of hostility too. It didn't seem to bother him, though, and he kept his head held high as though he was completely impervious to it. Severus never thought he would see the day when Harry was treated as anything but a lauded hero and yet here they were. He hated every second of it.

They walked steadily to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, Severus keeping a possessive and protective hand on the small of Harry's back as they went. It was past closing time, but Harry let them in through the side door, the wards giving to him as he approached.

"George!" Harry called, closing the door behind. "George it's us! Come on birthday boy, Sev wants a quick word about the product. Honestly," he said, rolling his eyes at Severus, "I swear only having one ear has affected his hearing."

It was a testament to how far they had all come that Severus didn't bristle at the comment. He still felt horribly awkward about his part in maiming the man, but it was very obvious that George held no ill will towards him about the incident.

"George you daft old sod, would you answer me?" Harry called, making his way to the office, Severus close behind. "Are you – oh my God! George!" Harry yelled in horror as he stopped in his tracks in the doorway. Severus nearly walked into the man and was about to ask what was going on when he saw what had caused Harry's dismay.

George was lying sprawled on the floor, a veritable picture of death. They both dashed into the room and knelt by the prone form, Severus the first to spot the empty bottle of pills in George's hand.

"He's overdosed," he said, his mind using half a second to consider why the man would have chosen a muggle method of suicide.

"Oh my God, is he…" Harry couldn't finish the sentence, looking down at George with wild eyes.

"No," Severus said as he pressed two fingers to George's throat and detected a very faint pulse, "but he might be if we don't act quickly. Harry, go home, go to my workshop and find a purple bottle labelled 'Gatsmenda' and bring it back here as soon as you can."

"Gatsmenda," Harry repeated, his face etched with worry. "He won't…he's not going to…"

"No Harry," Severus said firmly, "but you must go now."

Harry nodded, his jaw set firm, then apparated from the shop. Severus took out his wand and ran a basic diagnostic, seeing that the man had indeed ingested the entire bottle of pills. He had also acted with horrible foresight and had taken an anti-sickness potion beforehand to ensure his system didn't try to purge itself of the overdose.

His body was slowly shutting itself down, his organs failing as he slipped into a coma. Severus quickly cast a stasis spell that would stop George from deteriorating further and cast another that ensured his pulse rate would elevate to a safer level. He placed him in the recovery position then cast his Patronus and sent it off to find Maggie and bring her to the shop.

He cast a monitoring spell to keep an eye on George's heartbeat and breathing, wishing the man wasn't looking so deathly pale. As he knelt beside him, he realised that he had seen this coming. It had been evident in every look of anguish that passed across the man's face when he was reminded of Fred's absence in his life, in the hollow look in his eyes that never really went away.

He should have said something; he should have spoken with Ron or with George himself. He had seen the signs enough times with his Slytherins over the years. Thankfully none of the incidents had ended badly but he had seen enough to know what could happen.

A loud pop filled the air and Harry materialised at his side, the purple bottle in his hand. He knelt beside Severus, practically vibrating with nervous energy and said, "This is the right one, isn't it?"

Severus took the bottle from his hand and nodded. "Harry, tilt George's head up for me, hold him so I can pour this down his throat," he instructed, and Harry moved into position, hoisting George into his lap and holding his mouth open.

Severus uncorked the bottle and carefully dropped about a spoonful of the potion into George's mouth then massaged his throat to ease it down. "It'll take a couple of minutes," Severus said, looking up and seeing the worry in Harry's eyes.

"What will it do?" Harry asked, obviously trying to keep the frantic edge from his voice.

"Purge his system," Severus replied as George's body started convulsing. "Turn him over on his side," he said, and Harry did so, George beginning to retch moments later. The man heaved the contents of his stomach onto the floor in several bursts, gasping mouthfuls of air in between, his eyes vacant and rolling back in his head.

"Try and keep him conscious," Severus told Harry as he moved from the office and out into the shop. He was familiar with most of the products now and he knew that there was a dress-up range that included charcoal for blacking out teeth and creating black eyes. He swiped a packet from the counter, unwrapping it as he moved back into the office, finding Harry still holding George, who it seemed was reaching the end of his retching.

Severus broke the charcoal into pieces and waited until George had nothing left in his system to bring up. The man spluttered and gasped, and Harry held him tightly as Severus pressed a piece of charcoal to George's lips. The man was barely conscious, but his body seemed to take over and he began chewing and swallowing even as his head lolled back and forth.

"I can't believe he would do this," Harry whispered as he continued to hold George. "I can't believe I didn't see it, that we couldn't help him."

"He didn't want our help, Harry," Severus said softly. "He wanted it to be over."

George coughed and spluttered and his eyes opened slightly, but they were hazy and unfocused. Severus wanted to find the words to reassure Harry, to tell him that everything would be alright, but he couldn't bring himself to tell such a blatant lie. He was spared the unenviable task as a loud pop filled the air, followed by Maggie's voice saying, "Merlin's ghost! What the hell's happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I be accused of leaving you on a cliffie? Probably, but I promise the next chapter will be worth it. I hope you all enjoyed this one, please leave me a comment and let me know.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It was many hours later that Severus found himself sitting on a battered old sofa in the living room of the Burrow, Harry cuddled against his chest, fast asleep. It had been decided, once Maggie had determined that George was stable, that the Burrow was the best place for him, not St Mungo's, as the place had bad associations for him.

He was in Ron's old bedroom, Molly and Maggie sitting with him, the others assembled in the sitting room, waiting for any news that might come. Ron and Draco were in the kitchen, organising tea for everyone, Severus understanding that Ron had needed to give himself an activity before he sent himself mad. Arthur was in the garden with Bill, who had come over as soon as he had heard the news, while Hermione and Ginny were speaking quietly to one another on the sofa opposite.

Everyone was fraught and upset, doing their best to distract themselves and each other and trying not to mention the fact that mere hours earlier George had tried to end his life. Harry shifted beside him and murmured, "Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep." He sat up a little but made no attempt to extract himself from Severus' hold.

Ron and Draco came back in with a couple of tea trays and placed them on the coffee table, but no one made a move to help themselves. Ron sighed and sat down in an armchair covered in patches, pulling Draco down with him, wrapping his arms around the blond and burying his face in his shoulder.

"Do you want some tea?" Severus offered the mop of black hair under his nose.

Harry shook his head and nestled in closer, saying, "Can't face anything right now."

Severus ran a hand up and down the man's arm and held him gently, finding it natural to sit with him like this in front of all the people who knew them. He knew it was the last thing anyone would be thinking about, that his and Harry's relationship would be of no importance there and then, but still, it felt right.

The stairs creaked, and Severus looked up to see Maggie descending them looking weary. Ron looked up as she came to stand in the room and said, "How is he?"

She sighed and ran a hand through her black hair. "He's awake," she said, her voice hoarse. "He's done himself a bit of damage, but nothing irreparable. If it hadn't been for you – " she said, turning to look at Severus, "I don't like to think what would have happened."

"I'm only glad we got there when we did," Severus said, doing his best to deflect her comment without giving offense. He was not accustomed to playing the hero.

"He's asking to see you," Maggie said, nodding her head towards the stairs.

Severus' first thought was to ask why, but to question the thoughts of a man who had just tried to kill himself seemed rather pointless. He disentangled himself from Harry, placing a soft kiss to the man's head as he did so. He got up and headed for the stairs, casting a look back at the others as he went. Harry gave him a soft smile while Ron shrugged, clearly as confused by the whole thing as he was.

He made his way up the stairs and found Molly on the landing, her eyes red-rimmed, her face absent its usual smile. She looked as though she had aged ten years in the space of a few hours and Severus wondered how much more the woman could take.

"Oh Severus," she said, her voice quiet, "Maggie told you he's asking to see you?"

Severus nodded, casting an eye down the hallway to the bedroom door that was partially open, throwing a thin sliver of light into the hallway.

"I don't know what to think," she said, shaking her head sadly. "I don't know…what to do. If you hadn't arrived at the shop when you did…if you hadn't known what to do…"

"It's no good thinking like that," Severus said, wishing he were better disposed to comforting people. "His efforts were thwarted, he'll be ok."

"This time," Molly said, unable to muster up her customary cheer. She waved her hand and said, "You'd better go and see him, he doesn't want to talk to the rest of us."

Severus went to move down the corridor, halted by Molly's hand on his arm. He turned back to face her and she said with a watery smile, "Thank you…for making sure I didn't lose another son."

He could think of nothing to say and so settled for placing his hand over hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and continued to the bedroom, pausing before giving the door a gentle knock and letting himself in.

George was sitting up in bed, his face grey. He looked resigned, there was no warmth, no laughter in his eyes as there usually was. It was like looking into a blank void and it unnerved him. He hovered, unsure what to do with himself until eventually George sighed and said, "Sit down for Merlin's sake."

Severus grabbed a chair from underneath the window and brought it next to the bed, taking a seat and trying to meet George's eyes. The man was quiet for a while although his gaze was steady, as though trying to find an answer in Severus' eyes.

"You knew," he said eventually, his voice quiet but even.

"I knew what?" Severus asked with a frown.

"How I felt."

Severus looked down at his shoes, wishing he could be anywhere else at that moment. He had seen the signs, of course he had. He had had enough suicidal thoughts over the years to recognise them in others. He should have said something, he should have spoken out and told someone, anyone, how fragile he believed George to be.

"You wouldn't have stopped me," George said, as though reading his mind. "I wish you hadn't found me."

"You'll be thinking that way for a long time."

"Until I find a reason to live again?" George asked with an uncharacteristic sneer. "There isn't one, that's what people don't seem to be able to understand."

George took a deep breath, looking ashen-faced, his cheeks flushed with colour that only served to make him look ill. "There's no point in any of it without him," he said practically through gritted teeth. "I know there were so many losses during the war…but…none of them are like this, no one lost the other half of themselves."

His head fell back against the pillows and he tilted his head to look out of the window, though Severus didn't believe he was really seeing anything. "Ever since we were children we were able to communicate with one another…in here," he said, tapping at his temple. "We didn't realise it at first and we did it so often that it was as natural to us as breathing. Whatever we did, the other was there, knowing everything, existing along each other. Now…there's nothing, just emptiness. There's silence in my head all the time and I can't stand it."

"Have you spoken to anyone about this?"

George gave a humourless laugh and said, "What, a shrink? I don't think so."

"Or your family."

"They wouldn't understand. They think…they think that because they lost him too that it's the same thing and it bloody well isn't."

He finally turned his head back to face Severus, anger and pain had now replaced the blankness that had been in the man's eyes previously. Severus couldn't tell which was worse.

"It's my birthday today…mine and his. He won't ever have another birthday, he won't see another Christmas, he won't grow old but I have to. It's…unbearable."

"George, I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this. I can't tell you it'll all be better one day, I can't tell you that you'll stop feeling like this eventually."

"I don't want you to tell me that," George said harshly.

"Then what _do_ you want?" Severus said, feeling at a loss to understand why he was there at all.

"Fuck if I know," George said with a sigh, lying back and looking at Severus. A minute or so passed and, inexplicably, Severus felt his lip begin to twitch. He tried to control it, but he saw that George also seemed to be struggling to contain himself, and before he knew what was happening, he had released an inelegant snort. That was the trigger, and a moment later both men were laughing their heads off.

Severus had tears rolling down his face while George clutched at his already sore stomach, doing his best not to fall out of bed as his body heaved with laughter. Neither of them could control themselves and both seemed to decide that it was best not to try. They rode out the wave of hysteria until they were reduced to mindless titters as they tried to level out their breathing.

"An example of black humour at its finest," George said, rubbing a hand over his face. "Sometimes, all you can do is laugh in the face of despair."

"It's as good a method as any."

"I reckon you're the only one around with enough darkness in them to understand me."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You think _I'll_ be the one to help you?"

George shrugged. "No, I don't think anyone can do that, but…there's something in you that I recognise, something that none of my family has, and that means they won't understand me, that they never will."

Severus sighed, suddenly feeling the burden of the last few hours settle on his shoulders. "I'm no one's idea of a saviour, George, I wasn't even able to save myself. However, if I can help in any way then I will endeavour to try and do so."

* * *

Later that night Severus sat alone in his room reading by the fire. Although it was Spring, the nights were still cold, and Severus was still affected by the slightest drop in temperature. He shifted in his seat and glanced up at the clock on the mantlepiece, seeing that it was almost 11 o'clock.

Harry had stayed at the Burrow, feeling that Ron needed him around for a little longer, though he had assured Severus that he would be home at some point that night. The house seemed empty without him but Severus was doing his best to distract himself, finding he had more of a need to do so that night than usual.

George's suicide attempt was playing on his mind, as he suspected it was on everyone else's. He had seen the turmoil the man was in, had seen the pain behind his eyes, and he wished he could say the man's attempt on his own life had come as a shock to him. He had been debating with himself as to whether he should have said something, perhaps alerted Molly to the state of her son's mind, but it probably would have done no good.

Molly and the rest of the family would have placed George on lockdown, he would have been watched around the clock and it would have sent him mad. As he himself had said, he wouldn't have been stopped, he would have found a way to try and end his life one way or another. The only difference would have been that he would have had time to let his resentment and bitterness grow, rendering him unable to ever accept help from his family.

It was a bugger of a situation and there would be no easy solution for it. All anyone could hope for was that the Weasleys would be able to band together in the way that they were famous for, giving George the support he needed without smothering him.

Severus sighed and placed his book on the arm of his chair, abandoning his attempt at distracting himself with literature. He was about to call it a day and tumble into bed when there was a faint knock at the door, followed by Harry opening it and hovering in the doorway.

"I saw the light under the door," he said with a tired smile. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," Severus said, standing from the armchair and moving across the room to wrap Harry in a warm hug. "Are you ok?" he murmured into the man's hair.

"My nerves are shredded. It's been a long day," Harry whispered into Severus' chest.

"How are the others?"

"The same, probably more so," Harry replied, pulling back slightly but remaining in Severus' hold. "Drake took Ron home eventually and Hermione's staying at the Burrow with Gin and to give Molly an extra pair of hands. I should probably warn you that Molly's on her way to constructing a shrine to you."

They both took a seat on the edge of the bed, their fingers entwining as Harry held Severus' hand in his lap. "I did what anyone would do in the circumstances."

"Still, Molly will be campaigning for a Sainthood."

Severus smiled and the two men sat in silence for a few moments before Harry took a deep breath and said, "There's something I want to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for a while but today…brought it all into perspective."

He paused, giving Severus' a hand squeeze and looking ahead at the crackling fire. "I'm in love with you," he said eventually, and Severus felt as though the world had turned sideways. He didn't have the time to try and process it though as Harry was continuing to speak. "I've been in love with you one way or another for the last two years, longer probably…ever since the Half-Blood Prince."

Harry continued to stare ahead, trying to gather his thoughts, clearly unable to look at Severus until he was finished. "I didn't understand it at the time and after you were sent to Azkaban it became…more of an obsession than anything. It's why I campaigned so hard for your release, it's why I needed you to be a free man."

Severus' head was swimming; he couldn't understand what he was being told although he knew he had to try.

"That's what I meant when I said things between us weren't equal, when I said that I was taking advantage of you. I acted selfishly, I…was blinded by my feelings. I can't let you go on any longer without you knowing the circumstances, without you knowing the truth. I'd understand if you wanted to leave, if you needed to – "

Harry's increasingly rambling narrative was cut short by Severus leaning forward and pressing his lips to the man's, grabbing the back of his skull and holding him tightly as he plundered Harry's mouth. Harry responded eagerly, as he always did, his mouth hot, his body responsive.

"Only you could feel guilty about falling in love with someone," Severus murmured as he pulled back and rested his forehead against Harry's. "Surely you realise by now, you foolish boy, that I'm in love with you too?"

Harry sucked in a surprised gulp of air and stumbled up from the bed, standing in front of Severus looking like a frightened schoolboy.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked breathlessly.

"Do you think I would say it if I didn't?" Severus asked, looking up at the man, feeling rather giddy. "My…infatuation might not have the longevity that yours does, but I assure you it's just as strong…and just as improbable," he added with a smirk, unable to help himself.

He stood up and took Harry's hands in his own. "Only the two of us could take a declaration of love to be something to be overcome."

Harry grinned at him, an embarrassed blush suffusing his cheeks. "So, if I'm in love with you, and you're in love with me…"

"Then it seems all we need do is continue to be blissfully happy together," Severus said with a wry smile.

Harry stepped a little closer, his bottom lip held between his teeth, his beautiful eyes shining. "There's something we could do to make ourselves blissfully happy right now," he said, his voice low, almost teasing.

Severus quirked an eyebrow and said, "Oh yes?"

"I'm done waiting," Harry said, slipping his arms around Severus' neck. "It's been a lifetime, and I mean that literally," he said, the embarrassed blush back on his cheeks.

Severus settled his hands on Harry's waist, feeling a protective and possessive surge for the man. "You've never – "

Harry shook his head. "Not with anyone. I couldn't…not when I was in love with you."

"And if I'd never been released from Azkaban?" Severus asked with a smile that could only be described as thoroughly affectionate.

"Then I'd have lived the rest of my life out as a lonely old celibate," Harry said before pulling himself fully into Severus' hold and tilting his head up to meet Severus in a deep and sweeping kiss.

Every fibre of Severus' being was yelling at him to grab Harry, throw him to the bed and make the man forget his own name, but he knew that this was the time for taking things slowly, for savouring the moment. This was Harry's first time, _their_ first time, and Severus intended it to be memorable, intended to give Harry everything he so deserved.

He broke the kiss long enough to pull Harry's t-shirt off over the man's head, taking a moment to savour the sight of Harry's pale and thinly-muscled torso. His fingers had danced over the man's skin before when they had skittered underneath Harry's clothing during a particularly heated kissing session, but he hadn't had the opportunity to properly look before.

He decided that he needed to see all of Harry, needed to drink in the sight of the man he loved without the barrier of clothes. He reached for the waistband of Harry's jeans and unbuttoned them, then slowly lowered the zip and pushed the jeans down past Harry's hips, letting them fall to the ground. Harry, apparently deciding to help the endeavour, hooked his thumbs in his boxers and slowly pulled them down over his jutting erection and let them slip to the floor, stepping out of them and standing in front of Severus, blushing and nervous.

Severus allowed his eyes to dance over the planes of Harry's body, wondering that this beautiful man could find anything in him to love. Harry's body was compact and strong, toned and perfectly proportioned. His erection stood proudly against a nest of wiry black curls and Severus could hardly believe that he was being granted this vision of perfection in his bed.

"You're stunning," he said, hoping that Harry could read the sincerity in his voice.

Harry gave him an embarrassed smile and dipped his head slightly, the freckles across his nose standing out against his pale skin. Severus reached out and pulled Harry closer, allowing his hands to travel down the strong back to cup Harry's pert backside. Harry released a soft moan, and Severus couldn't wait to see what other noises he could make the man make.

"You have me at a disadvantage," Harry said softly, tugging at the buttons on Severus' shirt.

Severus had been dreading it, knowing that it was obviously inevitable. Harry was gorgeous from head to toe, and although Harry had seen him without his shirt, he still wasn't comfortable bearing all. He feared that Azkaban had left its mark on his body and that Harry would find him to be a poor specimen as a result.

"I – " he began, but Harry pressed a finger to his lips and said with a smile,

"I may not know much about this, but I'm pretty sure both parties have to be naked."

A tingle of magic swept over him and he suddenly found himself standing opposite Harry, his clothes vanished entirely. He waited to see the disappointment in Harry's face, the look of disgust that the man would try and hide, but it didn't come. Instead, Harry reached out and ran a hand down his torso, over his hip and ghosted softly over his aching erection.

"Harry," Severus said breathily, gripping the man's shoulders tightly.

"There's nothing about this body that you should be ashamed about," Harry murmured softly as he continued to let his hand dance gently over Severus' prick. "Especially this," he added, his voice lower. "I can't wait to have this inside me."

"Fuck," Severus groaned, amazed at Harry's uninhibited words. He may have been a virgin, but he obviously knew what he wanted. Severus was only too happy to give it to him.

Before he could blink, Harry lowered himself to his knees and glanced up at Severus through his dark lashes. Severus didn't have a chance to gather his thoughts before he was engulfed in the sinfully warm and wet mouth that wrapped itself around him.

"Harry," he groaned, twining a hand in the man's hair as Harry swiped and licked at his heavy cock. Harry's tongued danced over the leaking head then swirled all the way down his shaft then back up again before he was drawn back into the man's mouth. If he hadn't known that Harry wouldn't lie to him, he would never have believed this was Harry's first time doing this. It seemed that he had a natural talent for fellatio, and Severus was practically giddy at the thought that if this was the starting point, Harry would kill him when he became truly proficient.

One of Harry's hands was gently rolling his balls back and forth while the other ran up and down the back of his thigh, his nails grazing the skin deliberately. It would have been so easy to let himself come this way, to release himself down the back of Harry's throat and collapse in a sated heap on the floor, but he had different intentions for this night.

He gently tugged on Harry's hair and Harry halted his actions, looking up at Severus with a grin. "Can I help you, sir?" he asked cheekily.

"On the bed, now," Severus said, failing to keep the growl from his voice.

"Yes sir," Harry said, getting to his feet and scooting over to the bed, lying back against the pillows, his cheeks flushed with anticipation. Severus moved over to the bed and joined Harry on it, spreading his long body against Harry's, meeting the man's lips for another sweeping kiss.

He let his hand travel down Harry's beautiful body, his fingers teasing the soft skin, delighting in the little intakes of breath from Harry as he did so. He moved his lips to Harry's throat then down over his collarbone and across to his chest. Harry keened beneath him, soft little moans escaping his lips as Severus lavished attention on him.

He navigated a path down Harry's body with his fingers, followed by his lips, mapping all the places he had dreamt of exploring. He caressed Harry's hips and thighs, enjoying the quiver of muscle he felt beneath his hands. When he closed his mouth over Harry's bobbing erection, Harry arched up off the bed as Severus took him all the way to the back of his throat.

"Oh fuck, Severus," Harry whispered above him, his fingers clutching the bedding underneath him.

Severus closed a hand around the base of Harry's prick and stroked him in time with the movements of his mouth. He kept the pressure teasing, not willing to let Harry come just yet; he wanted to take his time finally getting to do all the things he had imagined. He moved up and down Harry's shaft, keeping his tongue in play the whole time, relentlessly lathing the head of Harry's weeping cock every time he moved.

Realising that he had nothing proper to use, he cast a wordless lubrication spell over his hand and his fingers, and moved them to circle Harry's entrance as he continued to suck him. He slowly and carefully insinuated one long finger inside the man and Harry gasped at the intrusion. He lifted his mouth from Harry's erection and looked up at him with a smile.

"We'll go slowly," he said, his voice deeper than usual. "We can stop any time you want."

"Stopping is the furthest thing from my mind, I promise," Harry said breathlessly.

Severus smiled and lowered his mouth again, taking Harry deep as he pressed another finger inside him. Harry bore down against him and writhed on the fingers that fucked him, clearly suffering no discomfort. Severus increased his suction on Harry's painfully hard erection and pushed a third finger inside the man, crooking all three and making Harry cry out in pleasure.

"Oh fuck, fuck," Harry groaned as Severus did it again and deep-throated him without mercy. Moments later Harry came with a strangled cry, emptying himself down Severus' throat. Severus sucked until the last of the shudders subsided then released Harry's now deflated prick from his mouth while continuing to stretch and prepare him.

"Oh my God, that was…bloody hell," Harry said, his face beautifully flushed, Severus thrilled that he had been the one to bring the man to such a state.

"Are you ready for more?" Severus asked with a smile, removing his fingers from Harry's body and using the previous spell to coat his hand, wrapping it up and down his hard shaft, slicking himself well.

"You'll kill me, you'll actually kill me," Harry moaned, although he looked thoroughly delighted by the prospect.

"Where would the sense be in that when I plan to spend the rest of my life making love to you?" Severus asked softly before leaning forward and capturing Harry's lips in a gentle and tender kiss. He positioned himself at Harry's entrance, nudging forward slightly as he broke the kiss to enable him to look down into Harry's eyes.

Harry placed his hands on Severus' shoulders and tilted his hips up slightly, giving Severus a small nod, biting his lips slightly. If the world ended tomorrow, Severus thought he would die a happy man, that nothing in his life could compare to this moment. He pushed forward carefully and breached Harry, watching the interplay of emotions on the man's face as he pushed back and accepted Severus into his body.

Severus guided himself in slowly, overwhelmed by the tightness that engulfed him, at how amazing it felt to finally be inside Harry. He continued until he was fully sheathed and stopped to let Harry adjust to the invasion. "Alright?" he whispered gently, and Harry nodded, looking rather overwhelmed.

He shifted a little and withdrew part-way from Harry's body, then moved slowly back in again, repeating the action several times until he felt Harry relax a little beneath him. If it were anyone else he might be whispering filthy things in their ear by now, but this was Harry and he wanted their encounters to be different. That wasn't to say that he didn't expect their lovemaking to be passionate or heated, but that was just the point – this was lovemaking and Harry was the first person he had ever shared that with.

"I…I need…" Harry murmured, twining his legs around Severus' waist and arching his back. "Please, go deeper," he begged, sending a thrill down Severus' spine.

Severus complied willingly, pushing himself further into Harry's body, feeling the tightness constrict him. It had been so long since he'd been intimate with anyone and it had never been like this before. It had taken all of his resistance not to come the second he had entered Harry's beautiful body and he was doing his best to hold himself back as his thrusts became more insistent.

"Mm yes," Harry moaned, tightening his legs around Severus, pulling him forward, meeting each thrust with breathy little sighs, his head thrown back on the pillow. He looked absolutely delicious, better than all the ways Severus had imagined him looking in the many fantasies he had indulged in. "Oh Severus," Harry breathed, and Severus had never heard anything quite so erotic in all his life.

He increased the pace of his thrusts and snaked a hand down Harry's body to wrap around the man's re-hardened erection. Harry's eyes squeezed shut and his mouth fell open, his face a gorgeous study in ecstasy. He made a few sure strokes and Harry came with a cry, spurting his release all over Severus' hand. Severus buried himself deep in Harry's body and thrust until he found his own release, his body racked with shudders as the pleasure crashed through him.

His breathing ragged, he leant forward to press his forehead to Harry's shoulder, feeling the man hold him through his comedown. He felt as though the world had been spinning the wrong way ever since Harry made his declaration of love, and as he lay in the afterglow, it didn't seem that things would right themselves any time soon.

He felt Harry's hand come to stroke the nape of his neck, grounding him. "I feel like I've waited all my life for that," Harry whispered into his temple.

"I hope I didn't disappoint," Severus replied softly, feeling himself slide gently from Harry's body. He muttered a cleaning charm and shifted his hips slightly so he was lying beside Harry, their chests still touching.

"Never," Harry said with a smile. "But we have a lot of lost ground to cover, Professor. I hope you'll be up to the challenge."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you all thought it was worth the wait! Please leave a comment and let me know.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Severus woke with Harry pillowed on his chest. Despite the feeling of complete satiation the night before, it had taken Severus a while to fall asleep. He had lain in the dark, listening to the dying crackles of the fire as Harry had slept beside him. He had done his best not to turn on his side and watch the man, having always believed that watching a bedfellow while they slept was grounds for sectioning.

He had chanced a few glances over at the sleeping form, smiling at the beauty of Harry's face in the soft glow from the fire. It was hard to believe that the night's events had taken place, that he had made love to Harry, that Harry had declared himself in love with him.

Harry stirred in his sleep and stretched himself out against Severus' chest, tilting his head up to blink blearily up at him. "Morning," he said with a sleepy smile.

"Good morning," Severus replied, unable to stop himself from returning it.

Harry nestled in a little closer, tucking his head under Severus' chin and emitting a contented little sigh. "I'm aching all over," he said, drawing patterns on Severus' skin.

"Did I hurt you?" Severus asked, feeling a wave of guilt hit him.

"No, it's a good ache," Harry said with a smile. "A fantastic ache that will keep me grinning all day."

"Brat," Severus murmured into Harry's hair.

It was all so…normal. That was what he kept thinking as he and Harry manoeuvred around one another in the kitchen an hour later. They made coffee and a pot of tea, Harry scrambled eggs in a frying pan while Severus cut thick slices of bread to put in the toaster.

Harry kept smiling at him, something shy yet conspiratorial about the expression. Now that there were no barriers between them anymore, Severus found it impossible to keep his hands to himself, and he saw no reason to try. After they had eaten and Harry was depositing the plates into the sink, Severus moved up behind him and slid his arms around the man's waist.

"Plans for today, Mr Potter?" he asked, his voice low as he began to press soft kisses to the skin behind Harry's ear.

"Well," Harry said, leaning back, "I was thinking of having sex in every room in this house. How does that stack with you?"

"An excellent suggestion," Severus murmured, feeling himself harden at the thought.

And so it was, hours later, that Severus found himself sprawled on the sofa, Harry in his lap, riding his cock like there was no tomorrow. His hands were braced on Severus' shoulders while Severus gripped Harry's hips tightly. His head was thrown back against the sofa, looking up with clouded eyes while Harry rose up and down, his hair sticking to his forehead, his breathing heavy.

"Oh yes," Severus groaned, "just like that."

Regardless of his lack of experience, Harry had taken to sex like a duck to water. He was quick to learn what pleased, quick to discern what could produce his own pleasure, and Severus found it thrilling to be part of the man's self-discovery.

Harry rolled his hips and clenched down around Severus, causing Severus to close his eyes and emit a heartfelt moan. "Harry," he murmured, gripping the man's hips more tightly as he rode Severus with fervour.

Harry took hold of one of Severus' hands and guided it to his own leaking cock, Severus obliging and stroking Harry firmly. Harry bit his lip and threw his head back as he fucked himself hard on Severus' prick, Severus matching the firm, relentless rhythm Harry had set.

Harry came with a shout of triumph and Severus followed moments later, thrusting up into the gorgeous body in his lap. There was nothing but their combined panting for a little while, Harry still gripping Severus' shoulder while his body shivered through the aftershocks.

Later, they lay side by side in front of the fire, naked and content to be so, learning each other's bodies without it leading to sex. They spoke in soft tones as fingers skittered over skin and kisses were exchanged. They talked of many things; the war, their time at Hogwarts, the many misunderstandings that had existed between them, their ideas for the future.

"I think I'll sell Spinner's End," Severus said as Harry's foot moved gently up and down his calf.

"Really?" Harry asked, leaning up on his elbow.

Severus nodded. "I reckon after taxes and solicitor's fees I could end up with about £80,000. That sort of money could be very useful."

"Hermione will be able to help, she dealt with everything when we hid the property, and she knows Muggle law better than the rest of us."

"I still can't believe the lengths you went to for me," Severus said with a shake of his head.

"Well, I _was_ in love with you," said Harry with a grin.

"I certainly hope you're going to change that statement to the present tense," Severus said, giving the man a dig in his ribs.

Harry hovered over Severus and whispered, "I love you." He leant down and met Severus in a soft kiss, his hand cupping Severus' cheek. He pressed his body against Severus' and pulled back to nuzzle the man's jaw.

They were both spent and sated, neither one of them recovered enough for a repeat performance, but they were happy to bask in the contentment of being close to one another. Severus ran a hand up and down Harry's back, his fingers dipping in and out of the knots of Harry's spine. It had only been 24 hours and yet he felt that he knew every inch of Harry's skin. That didn't mean, of course, that there was any reason to stop exploring. Time spent not touching Harry was time wasted as far as Severus was concerned.

* * *

The next few weeks passed in a blissful haze. The domesticity they had enjoyed prior to their relationship was nothing compared to what it became after. They woke up wrapped around one another and more often than not indulged in a little slow and languid morning sex. They eventually migrated to a shower and then down to a quick breakfast before their day properly began.

Harry would attend to his work for the foundation, as he had always done, joined occasionally for a meeting by Ron or Hermione. While Harry worked, Severus attended to his potions. He had a long list from Maggie to complete for the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place and for other Slytherins who were struggling to pay for everyday potions like Pepper-Up or various household concoctions.

In the afternoon, Severus would either assist Harry with his work or would pay visits to Grimmauld Place where he spent time with those who were living there. Maggie valued being able to consult him with the right course of treatment for those who were still suffering, and Severus had agreed to create several custom-made potions that would aid in their recovery.

In the evenings, he and Harry prepared and ate dinner together then settled down in the living room, either reading quietly or whiling the time away in pleasant conversation. Eventually, one of them would start to instigate things and the rest of the night was spent making love.

Severus wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't, in fact, died in Azkaban. This life he was living with Harry was too full of joy and happiness to be real, it had to be an afterlife of some kind. To wake with Harry in his arms was wonderful enough, but to be able to sink into him night after night, to feel the man's body beneath him as he writhed and moaned in pleasure was more than he could have ever hoped for.

Every time Harry looked at him, smiled at him, he felt redeemed. He felt as though he was becoming worthy of the man, that he might be enough to make him happy. He didn't feel like he was sullying Harry by touching him, he watched the pleasure dance across Harry's face when he was inside him and knew that he could give Harry things that others couldn't.

The end of April approached and the last weekend of the month found Harry and Severus sitting in the garden of the Burrow, drinking tea and sampling the delicious cakes that Molly had made. It was a joint birthday party for Teddy and Victoire, and the place was full to bursting with Weasleys, legitimate ones and honourary ones alike.

Teddy was in his element. He had all the attention he could possibly want, and more besides. Charlie and Ron took him for rides on the toy broom that Harry and Severus had bought him, while Molly fed him until he was fit to burst. Ginny and Hermione played hide and seek with him and even George stirred out into the garden long enough to read him a story as he sat on the grass.

It all proved too much in the end, and after there was nothing left to eat and no more games to play, he crawled up into Severus' lap and fell asleep. Rufus was nestled under one arm and his thumb was wedged tightly in his mouth as he slept against Severus' chest. Severus was both pleased and bewildered by the little boy's actions, and Harry's delight had been obvious in the size of the grin he sported.

"I'm going to get a top up of tea. You want anything?" Harry asked, getting up from his chair.

"A coffee would be most welcome. With the best will in the world I can't drink another drop of tea," Severus replied, keeping his voice low so he wouldn't disturb Teddy.

"Back in a sec," Harry said, pressing a quick peck to his lips before disappearing back inside the house.

Severus settled a little more comfortably in the padded recliner and smoothed Teddy's sandy hair down. He was a little overwhelmed at how easily the child had managed to work his way into his affections and at the esteem in which Teddy seemed to hold him. When he had arrived earlier that day, he had barrelled into Severus' legs and demanded to be picked up, launching into a lengthy narrative about the presents he had received and his intentions for the day.

"Never thought I'd see you sitting cuddled up with a 3-year-old."

Severus turned his head to find that George had taken Harry's vacated seat and was looking at him with a wry smile.

"Teddy's a special case," Severus replied, noticing that George still looked pale and tired, his eyes ringed with purple. "How are you?" he asked, deciding that being direct was the best approach.

George shrugged. "How's a person meant to be after a suicide attempt?" He took a deep breath and looked out across the lawn where Ron and Draco were sitting with Victoire between them, creating bubbles and sparks with their wands for the little girl's amusement. "It all seems a bit empty, you know?"

Severus nodded. He had felt that way enough times in the past to understand it. "Are you sleeping?"

"On and off. My patterns are all mixed up, I sleep more during the day than during the night."

"That won't help matters. I'll brew you a potion that will sort your circadian rhythms out, get you into a proper sleep pattern."

"I don't know…sleep potions are kind of addictive aren't they? I don't really want to go down that road."

"I can custom-make you something that won't be addictive. It'll take a little longer to brew, but I promise it will help."

"Thanks," said George with a tired smile, "I'd really appreciate that."

There was silence for a moment and Teddy snuffled and shifted a little in his sleep, emitting a soft little sigh as he nestled in deeper.

"I hope…I hope Harry's not blaming himself," George said quietly after a while.

Severus turned to look at him with a frown and said, "What are you talking about?"

George sucked the air through his teeth and sat quietly for a moment before saying, "He was…beside himself when he moved out and bought his house. He said he felt so guilty about leaving me behind, that he wanted to stay but he couldn't. He told me…a few months later the real reason why he bought that place."

"The reason?" Severus echoed, and George smiled the first genuine smile Severus had seen in weeks.

"He's such an earnest little soul, our Harry. He feels things so deeply and it just…eats away at him." George paused and drummed his fingers on his knees before continuing, "He told me that he knew he had to get his own place if he were to have any hope of getting you released. He's always had this 6th sense where the Ministry's concerned. He knows the way they operate, and he anticipated what their final move would be, that they'd try and spite him by demanding you were released to his custody.

"So he found that wonky little house and battered down the doors of the Ministry day after day until he got what he wanted. Now, knowing Harry like I do, I imagine he's torturing himself with stupidly misplaced guilt because I've been left on my own while he's set up home with the man he loves."

"How did you – " Severus began, shocked at George's words.

"I'm not stupid," George interrupted. "The others may have believed that Harry's motives were solely to do with justice, but no one, not even Harry, would work the way he did for any reason other than love."

Severus felt his cheeks heat and he rearranged Teddy in his lap to give himself something to do, feeling the grin that George was sending his way.

"Of course, add that to the fact that you two have been unable to keep your hands off each other all day and are sickeningly lovey-dovey…well…it doesn't take a genius. I just want you to make sure he knows that what I did had nothing to do with him leaving. It's the sort of thing he'd worry himself to death with."

Severus nodded, knowing that George was right. "I'll speak to him."

"It's nice to see him so happy," George said softly. "I think the two of you are good for one another. It must be nice…to have that kind of a connection with somebody."

"George," Severus said with a sigh, "you're still a young man, there's plenty of time yet for you to find that for yourself."

George shook his head with a rueful smile. "Not without Freddie." Seeing the expression on Severus' face, George said quickly, "Merlin no, not like that. I know people used to say things about us but we were…things were never like between us. We were just…as close as two human beings could possibly be. Well…that's the thing I suppose, we weren't two human beings, we were one person that got spliced somewhere along the line.

"If I'd found someone, or if Fred had…that person would have had to fit into both our lives, would have had to understand the bond between us and would have had to accept it for what it was. Now that he's not here, I'd have to ask someone to love half a man, to try and be loved by someone with half a heart. That's not right, or fair. I'm best off alone."

Severus wanted to argue but he wasn't sure how he could. George knew how he felt, to try and diminish that feeling would have been a mistake. The man needed time to come to terms with his loss and to try and figure out how he could survive in a world that he didn't really understand anymore.

"It isn't the same thing of course," Severus said softly, "but you're not alone. You have a family that love you, that would do anything to help you. If I've learnt anything over the last few months it's that life is easier with people around to support you."

George smiled at him. "Who would have thought it, eh? The big bad scourge of Gryffindors everywhere living so harmoniously among them."

"Oh shut up," Severus groused, resting his chin on Teddy's head as the little boy started snoring softly.

"I happen to think Gryffindors and Slytherins work rather well together. Look at our little Ronnie and Drake, they make quite the pair," said George, looking out across the lawn to where his brother and Draco were still sitting with Victoire. "Perhaps one day I could find myself a nice Slytherin to settle down with."

Severus smirked at him and said, "Of all the people who would be suited to a Slytherin, you would be the perfect candidate."

Later that night, Severus put Teddy to bed while Harry made them a late supper. They had mostly had their fill being stuffed to death at the Burrow, but Harry insisted that a few sandwiches wouldn't go amiss.

Teddy, being shattered after the day's events, fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Severus stayed with him for a little while in case he woke and needed a story to send him back to sleep again, but the little boy was spark out and barely even shifted in his sleep.

Severus went back downstairs to find Harry placing a platter of sandwiches on the kitchen table and pouring them both a glass of wine.

"He's dead to the world," said Severus, placing a kiss to Harry's temple before taking a seat at the table.

"I'm not surprised after today," Harry said, taking a seat opposite and helping himself to a hefty sandwich. "It was lovely to see him so happy, but these events are always a bit…bittersweet. A little boy having a birthday party and neither his mother nor his father are there. It's…not right."

"No," said Severus softly, "it isn't. But Teddy is surrounded by people who love him and who will bring him up knowing that he's loved. That's the main thing."

Harry nodded with a smile. "That's true. It just brings it into focus I suppose." He took a sip of his wine then looked at his glass thoughtfully for a moment before saying, "I had a strange talk with Andromeda today."

"Oh?"

"She…asked me to be Teddy's guardian, officially I mean. She wants me to sign a bunch of papers and wants to sign over the money Teddy was left to my stewardship. I always assumed that because I'm his godfather a lot of that stuff was taken as read, but she seemed quite anxious to make it official."

Severus paused, taking a bite of his sandwich to give himself a moment to think. Andromeda's actions confirmed his suspicions that the woman wasn't well, that she perhaps would not be long for this world, but he didn't want to worry Harry unduly. "She probably just wants reassurance that there's a safety net in place for Teddy…should anything happen."

"Yeah, I suppose. It just seemed a bit odd. How do you feel about me being Teddy's guardian?"

Severus looked at him questioningly and said, "What do you mean?"

"Well," said Harry, worrying his bottom lip slightly, "if I were to be Teddy's guardian and anything happened to Andromeda, that would mean us having Teddy permanently."

"I had worked that much out for myself," Severus said wryly.

"Well, would that be ok? I mean…it would mean that we'd be his parents, that he'd live here full-time. It's not exactly what you signed on for, is it?" Harry asked, looking perturbed.

Severus couldn't stop the smile that worked its way onto his lips. "I have no idea what I _did_ sign on for, Harry. I was chucked out of Azkaban and ended up living in this glorious part of the country with a man that I fell in love with." Harry beamed at him and he continued, "I think you can see for yourself that Teddy and I are managing to have a…cordial relationship. It will be no great hardship if he becomes a more permanent fixture in our lives."

"Well," said Harry with a smile, "that's good to know."

* * *

Teddy stayed for a few days and it did Harry good to have him there. Severus, too, enjoyed the little boy's presence and took him into the lab for another session of mixing harmless concoctions. Teddy was fascinated by the way certain ingredients reacted with one another and he listened attentively as Severus told him why these things happened.

On one particularly fine day, they had taken Teddy for a picnic on the moors. He had scampered off chasing butterflies and Harry had turned to Severus with a smile, confiding that he had never been on a picnic as a child, and that he intended to give Teddy all the things that he had never had. Severus had silently vowed to do the same.

He felt an undeniable affection for the little boy, which took him quite by surprise. Teddy, too, seemed fond of him, and it was often 50-50 whose lap he would crawl into when he wanted a cuddle. His presence took over their home and Severus found himself enjoying the gentle disruption Teddy brought with him.

Ron and Draco had joined them for the picnic, and it was nice to see Draco spend some time with his cousin. He had a natural way with children, as Severus had seen when the man had spent much of the children's birthday party playing with Victoire. Ron's face as he had watched Draco cuddle Teddy was a picture, and Severus rather suspected that if the man had his way, their little cottage could be welcoming the pitter patter of tiny feet in due course.

There had been a somewhat self-imposed ban on sex while Teddy had been in the house, and although Severus was sad to see Teddy go back to Andromeda, he was pleased to have Harry back in his bed again. The man had been insatiable, and they had made love a couple of times throughout the night.

Harry was such a responsive lover. Every touch provoked a delicious reaction and he was keen to reciprocate at every turn. Feeling the man's body beneath his own, burying himself in Harry's beautiful tightness was a sensation that couldn't be replicated. Harry arched and moaned, whispered and teased, keeping Severus coming back for more again and again. There was a pleasure in making love to Harry that Severus had never known before, and he found himself intoxicated by it.

"Now what are you up to?" Severus asked as he came in from his potions lab to find Harry at the kitchen table with all sorts of papers and photos spread out in front of him. There were a few vials laid out that Harry was writing labels for.

"Sorting out memories of Remus and Tonks for Teddy. Andromeda's given me a load of letters that Tonks wrote to her and there are photos of their wedding day. I've been collecting snapshots from people too," Harry said, holding up one of the vials, which Severus could now see contained the silvery, wispy tendrils of a memory. "Ron had a great one of Tonks entertaining everyone at Grimmauld Place. It'll be lovely for Teddy to see when he's older."

"It's a wonderful thought, Harry," Severus said as he took a seat and looked through the photos on the table.

"It'll be different for Teddy because he's surrounded by family, but I know what it's like not to have parents. He deserves to know everything he can about them."

Harry looked down at the assorted remembrances on the table and smiled sadly. "There's no one left now who can tell me about mine. I mean…you can tell me about my mum, but it's still private. There's no one who can tell me about my dad."

"I _did_ know him too," Severus argued.

Harry gave a soft laugh. "Yeah but you were hardly friends. No offence but I really don't need anymore evidence to tell me my dad was a berk."

Severus drummed his fingers on the table for a moment or two, before he said, "Pass me the pensieve."

Harry frowned but did as he was asked and moved the pensieve over to rest in front of Severus. Severus concentrated and held his wand to his temple, calling up the memory he wanted and extracting it slowly and carefully. He placed it into the pensieve and watched it swirl languidly then stood up and motioned for Harry to do the same.

He held out his hand and Harry took it, looking at Severus questioningly. "This is something you should see."

He tugged Harry's hand and together they descended into the memory, standing side-by-side as they waited for the fog to clear.

_Severus walked through the corridors of Hogwarts, glad he had a free lesson to devote an hour to his beloved potions. He had his well-worn textbook in his hands, scribbling a few notes with a pencil as he walked. It was remarkable how much information the original author had left out, and a person could only make an adequate potion with the lack of detail._

_He shook his head, frustrated as usual with how stupid some people could be. He rounded the corner and looked up in time to see Potter coming the same way. He ducked into an alcove before the arrogant prig spotted him._

_How that stupid, strutting peacock had been made Head Boy, he would never know. It was likely down to the fact that Lily had been made Head Girl and Dumbledore no doubt thought it charming to give her stupid paramour the corresponding position._

_He waited in the alcove for Potter to pass so he could be on his way, but he didn't, and so Severus poked his head around the corner to see what was happening. There was a kid on one of the benches, sitting with his head bent, his hands clenching the bench either side of his legs. Potter was approaching him and Severus frowned as he realised the boy was a 2_ _nd_ _-year Slytherin._

" _Shouldn't you be in lessons now?" Potter asked as he came to stand in front of him. The boy shrugged and Potter crossed his arms, saying, "There are no free periods until 3_ _rd_ _year, you should be in class."_

" _Didn't want to go," the boy said quietly._

_Potter snorted and took a seat next to him. "No one wants to go to classes, but it's sort of compulsory. Is there a reason why you're sitting out here alone?"_

_The boy was quiet, his jaw clenched tightly as he looked down at his feet. He looked desperately unhappy and Severus wanted to tell Potter to leave him alone, but there was something about Potter's manner that said he wasn't out for tormenting the boy._

" _My dad's ill," the boy said eventually. "I got a letter from my mum this morning. He's in hospital, but they don't know what's wrong with him yet. They have to do a bunch of tests."_

" _Oh that's rough, I'm sorry," said Potter, sounding as though he genuinely meant it. "If you speak to Professor Dumbledore about it he can arrange for you to go and see him."_

" _I don't know if I want to see him," the boy said, directing the comment to his knees._

" _Why wouldn't you?" Potter asked gently._

_The boy sighed and sniffed a little. Potter handed him his handkerchief and the boy took it with a weak smile. He dabbed at his eyes and took a deep breath before saying, "He's so…so strong. He always has been. He's this big force that takes up a whole room with his loud voice and huge presence. I don't know if I can stand to see him lying in a hospital bed all weak and quiet. I don't want to see him like that."_

" _That's understandable. Illness can be so hard to deal with, to see someone you love struck down by something you have no control over. The thing is though, he'll be needing you. He sounds like a good dad – "_

" _He's the best," the boy interjected with conviction. "He works so hard but he always has time for me, he's always there to talk to or to go for a broom ride with."_

" _Well then," said Potter with a smile, "if he's always done his best to be there for you, don't you think you owe him the same thing? I know it's scary but sometimes we have to do things that frighten us."_

" _What have you had to do that's scary?" the boy asked, looking up at him._

_Potter grinned and said, "Asking my girlfriend out was pretty terrifying. I was convinced she'd say no."_

" _Oh yeah, quidditch star, legend of the school. I'm sure she'd say no," the boy scoffed._

" _Nothing in life is a cert, I promise you that. The point is, there are lot of things that you'll have to go through that are scary or that you don't want to do, but that doesn't mean that you can just bury your head in the sand. Your dad needs you now, your mum too, I'm sure. You'll kick yourself if you don't go and see him, especially if he's as good a dad as you say he is."_

" _I'm being a coward, aren't I?" the boy asked in a small voice._

" _No, don't be so hard on yourself. It's alright to be scared, everyone is sometimes. Why don't we go and see Professor Dumbledore together and we can see if you can go and visit your father?"_

_Potter got up from the bench and waited until the boy reluctantly got to his feet too. He slung an arm around the boy's shoulders and said, "Come on then, it'll all turn out fine, you'll see."_

_They walked off down the corridor together and as they went Severus heard Potter say, "What's your name anyway? Sorry, I'm not great with the names of anyone younger than 4_ _th_ _year."_

_The boy laughed softly and said, "It's Harry, Harry Taylor."_

" _That's a nice name."_

Severus emerged from the memory and turned to look at Harry, alarmed to see that he had tears swimming in his eyes. Before he could ask if the man was ok, Harry sniffed and threw his arms around his neck, pulling himself tightly against Severus' body.

"I love you," his whispered softly into Severus' neck as Severus held him close.

"I love you too, Harry," Severus replied, feeling one step closer towards redemption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we could all do with some fluff after poor old George last week, couldn't we? I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave me a comment and let me know.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

With the hot spray of the shower pounding down on his skin, Severus thrust hard inside Harry. One hand gripped the man's hip, while the other held Harry's shoulder as the man braced himself against the wall of the shower while Severus moved hard inside him from behind.

"Oh yes," Harry moaned. "Oh fuck yes, so good."

That Harry was as vocal as he was during sex had come as a pleasant surprise to Severus. Not only did he make the most delicious noises when he was being pounded into oblivion, but he loved to talk, to direct, to express his pleasure. Severus loved to hear it.

Harry gasped and said, "That's it, Sev…that feels amazing."

" _You_ feel amazing," Severus growled into his ear, thrusting a little harder. Their sex life was nothing if not varied, and their encounters ranged from slow, gentle love-making where they took all the time in the world, to quick, frenzied moments of passion that had them both gasping for air.

Harry came hard, spurting his release against the glass while Severus gripped the man's shoulder a little tighter and fucked him hard until he was coming too. He rested his head against Harry's shoulder while the tremors ran through him, feeling himself slide from the man's body slowly.

He pressed a kiss to the soft skin behind Harry's ear and Harry turned around in his arms, looking up at him with a satisfied smile.

"That is a bloody brilliant way to start the day," he drawled lazily.

"So you've said on numerous occasions," Severus said, reaching for his shower gel and squeezing some into his hand. He began running it over Harry's body, lathering it up as he went.

"So thorough," Harry said teasingly. "After getting me all dirty you make me all nice and clean again."

"Got to make sure you're in prime working order."

"If you plan on using my body mercilessly day after day you mean."

"Are you complaining, Mr Potter?"

"Quite the opposite, I assure you."

They continued their morning ablutions, then made their way downstairs to have breakfast. Harry munched through a plate of toast while looking through the papers of someone who was due to be released from Azkaban that week.

"You look smart. Are you off somewhere today?" Harry asked, brushing the crumbs from his papers as he looked up at Severus.

"Grimmauld," Severus replied, taking a sip of his coffee. "I have to restock Maggie's supplies and I'd like to check in with a few of the residents. After that I have a lunch appointment with Neville."

Harry's mouth hung open as he was about to take a bite of his toast, and he stared at Severus for a moment before breaking into a wide grin. "You have a lunch appointment with Neville Longbottom. Dear Merlin, how the world has changed!"

Severus gave him a withering look and said, "I should damn well say it's changed. I'm living a life surrounded by bloody-minded Gryffindors with the Boy-Who-Lived warming my bed night after night. A lunch date with the bane of my existence as a teacher is merely the icing on the cake."

Harry laughed and demolished the last of his toast. "I wish Hermione still had her time-turner. I'd love to go back and tell my teenage self that one day I would be Severus Snape's bed-warmer," he said, getting up to take care of the breakfast dishes.

Severus grabbed his arm and pulled him down into his lap, saying, "I'm willing to concede that you have one or two uses besides that."

"Oh yes?" Harry said with a smile, winding his arms around Severus' neck. "Care to expand on that point, Professor?"

With a glance up at the clock, Severus said, "I'm already late, and you're a bad influence. I'd be more than happy to give you a full outline of your uses later though."

"Can't wait," Harry murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips to Severus'. He released himself from Severus' hold and set about tidying the breakfast things away, Severus watching him. It was the simplest thing, breakfast together and speaking about plans for the day, and yet it had never been something that Severus had imagined for himself.

These sorts of domestic set-ups were for other people, the kind of people who had led ordinary, decent lives, not for the likes of him. He had lived the better part of his life alone. Even at Hogwarts he had been an outcast amongst most of his peers, even the Slytherins. Lily had been his only friend, a light in an existence devoid of such a thing, and he had pushed her away, lost her forever. He would not be so foolish as to risk the same thing with Harry.

It was almost ten o'clock by the time he arrived at Grimmauld and the place was abuzz with people. There were several family members visiting those who lived there and Hermione and Ron were there to settle in two new people who had just been released from Azkaban.

The first Severus recognised as a man who had run an apothecary in Knockturn Alley for several years. According to Hermione, he had been arrested for selling 'questionable' ingredients that could have been used to make illegal potions, and he had been given a six-month sentence in Azkaban. From what Severus remembered, he had never been in the best of health, and his incarceration certainly hadn't helped matters.

The second was a young girl, barely out of her teens but with an air of steely determination about her. Severus had taught her and had been her Head of House, and he remembered her as an intelligent and vibrant young woman. She reminded him of Ginny with her red hair and pale skin, and eyes that were fierce and bright. Her parents, both Slytherins, had been killed in a Ministry raid a couple of months after the final battle and evidence had been fabricated to convict her of being a supporter of Voldemort.

"That's how they do it," Hermione said, her arms folded as she watched Ron speaking with the two people. "The Ministry has never come out and declared its policy against Slytherins. It's never admitted that these people are thrown in Azkaban simply because of the house they were in, they just make up reasons to convict them. Evidence is planted, 'witnesses' are found, the whole thing is hideously corrupt."

"We're getting more support though," said Ron as he came to join them. "Gin's been acting as our admin manager for the last few months and she says that she's snowed under with letters offering support. We've received several large financial donations too, which is blessing. We need all the help we can get."

"Continuing in that vein, I wonder if you'd be able to assist me in selling Spinner's End," Severus said to Hermione, and she raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Of course I can, if you're sure you want to sell it."

"It holds no happy memories," Severus said honestly. "I'd be glad to be rid of the place and the majority of the money can be used for the foundation."

"You want to keep that for yourself," Ron said, clasping a hand on his shoulder. "You've bloody well earnt it."

"I'll keep a little back for myself, and I want to invest a sum in a savings account for Teddy," he said, ignoring the look on Ron's face, "but I want it to be used for the foundation. It can't run on good will alone."

Knowing that it would be pointless to stand there and argue with him, Hermione smiled and said, "I'll look into estate agents in the area, and I'm sure Blaise will be more than happy to help with the legal side of things. He's quite well-versed in muggle law."

"Thank you, much appreciated."

After the new people were settled, Severus was called into their individual sessions with Maggie to help her assess them. The man, Martin, had suffered malnutrition and had also developed osteoporosis. Severus had been right in thinking he had never been well man and his time spent behind bars had had a terrible effect on him. He and Maggie agreed on a course of treatment and Martin would need several customised potions to try and restore his health, although Severus doubted if he would ever fully recover.

The girl, Elena, was in a similar state, but she was incredibly robust and had a much better prognosis than Martin. She had a determination to her manner that belied the hardship she had been through and Severus rather suspected that it would take more than Azkaban to dull the young woman's shine.

After seeing to the new intake, he spent time with Maggie going over the case notes of all the people still in her care. There were adjustments to be made to the custom potions, as, thankfully, many of her patients were recovering and needed less intense rehabilitation. There would be more though, of course. Just as Martin and Elena had been released, so would others be.

It was good that things were moving along and that more people were being released from Azkaban, but more needed to be done to ensure that these hideous atrocities wouldn't continue to happen. Hermione and Blaise were working on legislation to pass through the Ministry, but it was long and arduous work. Things for Slytherins wouldn't be improved for some time yet to come.

As it was, he realised that he needed to act where he could. He had seen and spoken to Haizea Wainwright, his former student, a few times, and had been considering the young woman's plight since he had become reacquainted with her the first time he had visited the new and improved Grimmauld Place. He remembered what a fine student she had been, and it seemed thoroughly unfair that she was unable to pursue her ambitions because of the situation she had been placed in.

"Ms Wainwright," Severus said, taking a seat opposite his former student.

"Haizea, please," she said with a smile.

"Haizea," Severus echoed, inclining his head in a slight bow. "I hope you don't mind me asking," he continued, "but I understand that there is little chance of you returning to your position as a researcher?"

"I'm afraid it's true," she said with a sad smile. "I wrote to them when I was freed from prison to ask how things stood and received a very polite but short letter back saying that my previous position had been filled and no new ones had opened up."

"You were always an excellent student," he said, and she blushed, "it seems a shame that your talents can't be put to use."

She shrugged and said, "My health is too poor to consider full-time employment at present anyway. I tire very easily and my mobility is rather impaired. When I was captured, my arm and leg were broken and they weren't treated properly. They've both healed badly, although Maggie's doing what she can to try and correct it."

Severus nodded and said, "She mentioned she was looking for a procedure to reset the bones without causing further damage." He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before saying, "I wonder if you might be interested in coming to work for me, on a part-time basis perhaps."

"For you, sir?" she asked with a puzzled frown.

"You've been out of school for some years now, you may address me by my given name."

She gave him a wry smile and said, "That will take some getting used to. This offer of work, what would it entail?" she asked.

"Assisting me, primarily. I find myself busier than I'm used to and, like you, my health will never be what it once was. I find myself lacking the concentration to do several things at once as I used to, and often simply preparing all the ingredients leaves me too tired to make the potion itself. I would welcome some help."

"I can't deny that the idea of making myself useful is very appealing, and I'd love to be able to work with potions again," she said with a slightly dreamy smile. "I don't know how reliable I'd be though, my health makes things very unpredictable."

"Then let's begin with an informal arrangement – you can come and work with me whenever you feel able. I'll give you the apparation co-ordinates and you can come when you like."

"Deal," she said, her eyes suddenly bright. "Thank you sir…Severus. This is…remarkably kind of you."

"Nonsense," he said, rising from his seat, "it's purely selfish, I assure you."

She took his words in the spirit they were meant and rose to shake his hand. They parted with a smile and Severus felt a small weight lift from his shoulders now that he had finally been able to do something, even such a small thing, for one of his former students.

He said his farewells to Hermione, Ron and Maggie then made his way to the Ministry. It was an uncomfortable walk through the foyer, all eyes turned towards him, most of them hostile. He kept his head down and made his way to Neville's office, forgoing the elevator in favour of the stairs.

Neville's secretary greeted him and made him a cup of coffee while he waited in the little ante-room.

"Ah Severus, hope you haven't been waiting long," Neville said as he appeared from his office. "I was negotiating an interminable fire call."

"No matter, the coffee was most pleasant."

"Shall we head for lunch then? The Ministry restaurant does surprisingly good food and all the booths have silencing charms for people conducting business."

They made their way down to the restaurant, Severus once again ignoring the eyes that followed him as he took his seat. They were surprised, he could tell, to see him in Neville's company, but if his companion noticed the scrutiny they were under, he didn't show it.

They made themselves comfortable, ordered food and drinks, then settled into easy conversation. It was remarkable, Severus thought as he sipped his wine, how changed the man opposite him was. Try though he might he couldn't see the boy he had once taught in the features of the man he now knew. Neville was confident and assured, he spoke intelligently and with purpose, and the suggestions he made to Severus were insightful and astute.

It was decided that Severus would make regular trips to the Ministry to acclimatise others to his presence, and Draco and other Slytherins would also put in regular appearances. Neville also believed that it would serve a useful purpose if Severus attended any future debates on legislation, as these debates were open to all and anyone could attend.

Severus was to serve as the 'face' of the Slytherin cause, being its most prominent member, and Neville believed it was a good idea to have him attend anything to do with Slytherins. To this end, Severus, possibly accompanied by other Slytherins, was to attend all trials and all parole hearings, and was also to court a relationship with the media.

He baulked at this suggestion, but Neville assured him that it was a necessary evil. There was little to no representation for Slytherins in the press, but he knew several editors that would give their left arm to buy his story. It went against everything Severus knew to do such a thing, but he understood Neville's argument and had to concede.

"I have a couple of contacts in the tabloids. I'll get in touch," Neville said as he finished clearing his plate and sat back in his chair.

"Very well," Severus said with a resigned nod, reaching for the bottle of wine and topping both their glasses up.

Seeming to sense that Severus had enough of discussing these somewhat unpalatable topics, he changed the subject and said, "You were at Grimmauld this morning?"

Severus nodded as he swallowed a mouthful of the particularly excellent wine. "I was. I made an offer of work to Haizea Wainwright. Will that need to be declared through the Ministry?"

"Not if it's less than 20 hours a week," Neville replied, and Severus thought he detected the hint of blush creeping across the man's cheeks. "She's…she's well then?" Neville asked.

"She doesn't think she'll be able to work full-time, but I would be glad to help her ease back into the world of work, and potions is something she excels at."

"I remember," Neville said, his eyes widening afterwards as though he'd been caught out in something. The blush intensified and Severus couldn't help but smirk at the flustered man who now bore much more of resemblance to the child he remembered.

"You have something of an attachment, Mr Longbottom?" he said with an arched eyebrow.

"I…I always…admired her at school," Neville said, occupying himself by rearranging the unused cutlery on the table. "I never had the nerve to do anything about it of course and now…"

"Now what?" Severus asked, softening his expression in the face of Neville's obvious discomfort.

"It's hardly appropriate, is it?" Neville asked.

"She isn't damaged goods because of her incarceration you know," Severus said, and Neville's eyes shot up to meet his.

"I never thought that she was, only…surely it will be the last thing she'll be thinking of after everything that's happened to her."

Severus took another sip of his wine then said in a measured voice, "Speaking from experience, I can say that the only thing you want after being freed from such a horror is to be able to live your life unhindered by the injustices you've suffered. It's important to respect what she's been through, but you shouldn't define her by it."

"As if she'd want anything to do with me anyway," Neville said with a self-deprecating shrug.

"Because there's so very little to recommend you?" Severus said dryly, resisting the urge to cuff the man about the head. "Let's not be foolish now."

Neville gave him a crooked smile and said, "I'll think about it."

Dinner finished, Severus decided it was time to get back and see what Harry had been up to. Neville escorted him to the Ministry entrance foyer and they were about to shake hands and part company when Severus found his attention caught by a hideous flash of pink out of the corner of his eye.

"What the hell is she doing here?" he asked, and Neville turned to see Severus' scowl directed towards Dolores Umbridge.

"I'm afraid she works here," Neville said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "She occupies a minor position in the Minister's office but she still manages to cause trouble."

Severus couldn't help himself, he acted before he could hold himself back. His ire had been stoked and he could feel it burning hotly inside him as indignation and hatred rose up on Harry's behalf for all that woman had done to him. He insinuated himself into her mind and carefully and thoroughly planted a single thought there.

No one knew he had done it, the woman herself had shown no signs that she had felt her mind be violated, but Severus knew and he couldn't stop himself from smiling at the idea of what he'd done. From that moment on, whatever happened Dolores Umbridge would have one constant thought in her mind – I must not tell lies.

* * *

"Teddy! You come back here you little monster!" Harry's voice rang out through the garden, and Severus leant back in his chair to watch as Teddy sped across the grass, Harry hot on his heels. He came barrelling up to Severus and launched himself into his lap, giggling as he buried himself in Severus' robes in an effort to hide from Harry.

"What's all this about?" Severus asked as he wrapped his arms around the little boy just as Harry came running up to the patio. "Are you causing trouble for your Uncle Harry?"

Teddy giggled from somewhere underneath the swathe of robes and Harry put his hands on his hips as he tried to not laugh too. "He's meant to be having a bath," he said, glaring at the wriggling lump that was Teddy.

"Ah that's what all the drama is in aid of," Severus said, pulling his robes off Teddy, causing Teddy to shriek and hide his face in his hands. "I think he can still see you, sweetheart," Severus whispered to the mop of sandy hair beneath his nose.

The hair turned black and Teddy said, "Now he'll think I'm you."

"I'm not that daft," Harry said, running a hand through his hair and pushing it back off his forehead. "If you don't come and have your bath Uncle Sev won't let you help with potions tomorrow."

Teddy pushed himself back in Severus' lap so he could look up in the man's eyes. "Is that true?" he asked, his amber eyes serious.

"I'm afraid so," Severus said, holding Teddy gently. "Only clean people can come and help me."

Teddy huffed and scrunched up his nose, considering his options. "If I have a bath, will you read the next chapter of The Hobbit to me?" he asked. He had learnt the art of negotiation very early on, and Severus had often wondered, if it had still existed, whether the boy would have one day ended up in Slytherin. He was also more than capable of playing on Severus' very obvious affections for him, and had no scruples when it came to exploiting them.

"Very well," Severus said, trying not to smile. "But you have to let yourself be properly cleaned, not just dip in and out like a frog in boiling water."

Teddy giggled and allowed himself to be scooped up from Severus' lap and onto Harry's hip. "We'll be on our way then," Harry said, leaning down as Severus tilted his head up, the two meeting in a gentle kiss. "Oh, I nearly forgot," Harry said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out what looked like a newspaper cutting, "Ron sent this in the post. I nearly burst something laughing when I read it the first time."

He handed it to Severus then made his way back into the house, continuing to negotiate bathing terms with Teddy as he went. Severus smiled, finding himself pleased that the little boy was with them for a couple of weeks. He looked back at the folded bit of newspaper in his hands and smoothed it out, confronted with a large picture of a furious-looking Dolores Umbridge.

He read the headline underneath and couldn't stop himself from emitting a loud bark of laughter, thinking that very occasionally life could be sweet. He read it several more times, just for the pleasure of it, and felt very sure that the words would be forever imprinted in his mind. After all, no one was likely to forget a headline that read 'Umbridge sacked for gross misconduct and sexual harassment after barging into the Minister's office and declaring that she would like to ride him six ways from Sunday.' He had never been prouder of his handiwork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that last bit made you all smile as much as it made me : )


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not," Harry replied as he continued to clean up the dishes from breakfast. "I have Teddy all day anyway and I promised him we could go and visit Ron and Drake, he absolutely adores them both," the man said with a smile, leaning back so he could check on Teddy, who was sitting on the floor in the living room with a colouring book spread out on the coffee table.

"It's not that I don't want you there, it's just that I think it'll be good for – "

"Sev, I know," Harry cut him off, shaking the soap suds from his hands and moving to place them on Severus' shoulders. "We both agreed, this is a good idea."

"I just don't want you to feel that I'm excluding you," Severus replied, settling his hands on Harry's waist.

"I don't," Harry said with a smile. "I'll be there to help you clear things out, but this…this will be good for you and him to do together."

Severus was relieved that Harry understood. He had broached the idea with him a couple of days ago and Harry, with his usual capacity for generosity, had agreed whole-heartedly.

"Teddy wants to come and see the place too, you know," Harry said, pulling himself a little closer.

Severus pulled a face and said, "It's hardly a suitable environment for children, believe me."

"I know, but after hearing you talk about it he wants to see it for himself. You know how he is, anything to do with you and he's fascinated!"

"Merlin knows why," Severus said, rolling his eyes, although both of them knew how pleased Severus was by the little boy's attentions. It was true, anything Severus did Teddy had to be involved completely, and anything Severus spoke about was met with a barrage of questions from their young charge.

Severus had never thought he would have the patience or tolerance for children, especially very small children, but Teddy had placed himself so firmly in Severus' affections that the man found himself loving every minute he spent with the boy.

True, things weren't always so rosy. Teddy was capable of being a stubborn little sod sometimes, and he had a temper that he had inherited from his mother. There had been several tantrums that had led to floods of tears, but he was always contrite after such outbursts, and seemed to worry that Severus and Harry would no longer want him if he wasn't perfect.

Of course, both men had been quick to assure the boy that this wasn't the case. Neither of them was prepared to stand for bad behaviour from him and Severus had made it clear that he would be strict when necessary, but they didn't want Teddy to feel that they only wanted him for the good times, that they would be fair-weather parents to him.

It had jolted Severus somewhat when he had first come to think of himself in such terms. He had never planned to be a parent and he still felt that sometimes he was woefully incapable of being one, but still, he had unwittingly become one. They had Teddy for two weeks each month, sometimes longer if Andromeda was unwell, which was becoming more of a regular occurrence these days.

They were, to all intents and purposes, a family, and it made Severus' heart swell every time he thought of it. He and Harry made their decisions based around Teddy, and their lives had adjusted accordingly. Severus had moved into Harry's bedroom permanently so they didn't confuse the boy by keeping separate sleeping spaces, although both men would have to admit that they had done it for their own benefit too.

"Are you going to be ok going back there? It's been a while," Harry said gently, moving his hand up to tenderly brush along Severus' jaw.

"I don't doubt it'll be jarring," Severus said with a sigh. He turned his head to place a kiss to Harry's palm then said, "Coming home to you will make it bearable."

Harry's smile was beautiful as he took in Severus' words. He leant forward and wrapped his arms around Severus' neck as he pulled the man into a soft and gentle kiss. Severus felt himself surrender to the man, feeling a delicious vulnerability in the way he was constantly overwhelmed by Harry.

Their lips moved in a well-rehearsed dance. They knew every inch of one another's bodies now and their kissing was particularly expert. Harry's kisses were exquisite; they could be soft and teasing or hard and passionate. He altered them to the circumstance and Severus lost himself in his lover every time.

A giggle from the doorway pulled them away from each other, and Severus glanced over to see Teddy watching them with a grin. "Something funny Master Lupin?" he asked with a lazy smile.

"You were doing funny things," Teddy answered, looking between the two men.

"Most grown-ups do funny things," Harry said, giving Severus a quick peck on the cheek and disentangling himself with an air of reluctance. "I'll see you when you get back then. I hope it all goes ok."

Severus nodded with a smile, then waved at Teddy before apparating and appearing at the Burrow. Molly let him in, looking nervous and weary. She moved to the stairs and glanced upwards, listening for a moment or two before saying,

"I haven't told him you were coming, like you said not to. He's not awake…at least I don't think he is. He spends so much time shut up in his room, I don't know what to do to coax him out."

"It'll take time, Molly," Severus said gently. "It's a difficult thing to do but a balance has to be struck between being supportive and not letting him walk all over you. If you indulge every whim, every mood he'll end up living in a bubble."

Molly nodded. "I know, you're right of course, but I just want to…protect him, to make things right for him."

Severus thought he could understand a little of how Molly felt. The thought of Teddy frightened or in pain made his chest and stomach clench unpleasantly, and he knew he would have done anything to ensure the little boy was protected from such things.

He laid a hand on the woman's shoulder and said, "Of course you do, it's only natural. I think perhaps it'll take several different approaches to try and help him."

"And you're going to try the firm and no-nonsense one, I take it?" Molly asked with a smile.

"Something like that," Severus said, returning the smile before he turned to ascend the staircase. He made his way down the hallway to George's room and rapped his knuckles on the door sharply before entering without waiting for a response.

The room was dark, despite the fact that it was nearly ten o'clock, and Severus could make out a lump under the covers that he knew to be George. He moved to the bed and wrenched the duvet off the sleeping form. He was met with a shout of indignation followed by several colourful expletives.

"What the bloody fuck do you think you're doing?" George asked with a glare to rival Severus' very best.

"Waking you up. I should think that much is obvious," Severus replied, folding his arms across his chest.

"Why?" George asked through gritted teeth.

"Because you've festered in your pit long enough. It's time to get up and make yourself useful."

He extracted his wand and hit George with a couple of strong cleaning charms, ignoring the sputtering noises of outrage that followed. "Now get up and get dressed. Nothing smart mind, you're going to be doing a lot of manual work today."

"The hell I am," George snarled.

"George," Severus said with an exaggerated sigh, "I am not your mother, nor one of your brothers. I am not disposed to be kind or gentle with you and nor shall I be. You are coming with me, whether by your own volition or by force if necessary, and I urge you to consider the many ways in which I have made people bend to my will in the past," he said, injecting his voice with a perfect air of menace.

"You don't scare me," George said crossly, though the slight wariness in his expression told otherwise.

"I shall have to try harder then."

Forty-five minutes later and with a good deal of swearing, threatening and the odd jinx thrown in for good measure, Severus stood outside Spinner's End, George next to him with a face like thunder.

"Where the bloody hell are we and why am I here?" George growled, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking very much as though he was considering any number of hexes to inflict upon Severus.

"My childhood home," Severus replied, moving to the front door and letting himself in.

George followed with a heavy sigh and looked around the dull, narrow hallway they were standing in. "That doesn't answer my second question."

"You're here to help," Severus said, giving the stair banister a nudge and eyeing it dubiously as it wobbled.

"Help how?" George asked, mirroring Severus' expression.

"Putting this place in some semblance of order. Hermione said that the selling price will increase if we tart it up a bit."

"And why the bloody hell am I the one that gets stuck with that honour?"

"Because," Severus said, turning to face him with his most imposing impression, "you cannot continue to hide away in your childhood bedroom any longer. Spending day after day stuck in there with nothing but your morbid thoughts for distraction isn't healthy."

"Oh, but being your lackey doing all the heavy work in this crap heap is good for me, is it?" George asked with an expression no Weasley had a right to wear. "I suppose you think a little distraction and exercise will make this all better?"

"No, of course I don't think that," Severus said, allowing his expression to soften. "There's no easy fix to this, George, it won't just go away, you and I both know that. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't start taking steps towards healing, and lying in bed day after day with no purpose, nothing to occupy you is a dangerous road to be on."

George's jaw clenched but he put forward no further argument and Severus led him into the living room. The whole house was a sorry mess but a number of spells and a little old-fashioned elbow grease would serve to make it more respectable before it was put on the market.

It was somewhat jarring to be back in his childhood home, a place he hadn't set foot in since Harry's 6th year. He couldn't wait to see the back of it and use the money it generated to finally do some good.

It had never been a particularly decent house, but the area in general had gone up in value and with a little work he would get a good price for it. He put George to work sorting out the damp that permeated the kitchen while he tackled the peeling wallpaper in the living room. George spent the better part of an hour complaining and sending all manner of threats Severus' way, but once he became properly involved in his task his moaning began to subside.

George was a clever man and was very adept at both charms and transfiguration spells. He was particularly good at combining the two disciplines and his keen mind began to work through the various issues that the house possessed. It was good to give him a task that was both physical and mental, and Severus was pleased to see the look of concentration on the man's face as he sought resolutions to the myriad of problems.

Severus kept his mind firmly on the tasks at hand. He had no desire to take any trips down memory lane and he firmly stamped down any tendrils of remembrance that tried to invade his mind. There had been very little happiness in this house and the walls seemed to have absorbed the misery and retained it throughout the years.

"I've fixed those couple of dodgy stairs, no chance of anyone putting their foot through them now," George said as he came back into the living room where Severus was trying to fix the slight gap in the window where it had sunk in its frame.

"Thanks," said Severus. "We'll call it a day for now, come back tomorrow and start on the cleaning. We can think about decorating when the layers of grime have been removed."

George was quiet for a moment, taking a seat on the sofa, a small cloud of dust rising from it as he did so. "Thanks," he said eventually.

Severus turned to face him, raising one eyebrow questioningly. George sighed and raked a hand through hair that was covered with several layers of dirt and said, "You were right. I needed to get out of the house, get my teeth into something. I'm not saying that a day spent shoring up this flea pit is the answer to all my problems…but it was good to think about something else."

Severus took a seat next to him, perching as far over as he could so as not to touch too much of the ragged old sofa. "I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I have been as low as it's possible for a person to be. I've known utter despair and the bleakness of living a life without hope. It's a wretched existence."

"I just don't know how to make it stop," George said, his voice barely above a whisper. "There's this…chasm in my life and I can't find a way to fill it. His loss is…too much to bear. I don't know how to be on my own, I don't know how to live a life without him in it. It's been nearly three years and it hasn't become any easier. People keep telling me that it'll take time but I don't see how I'm ever supposed to heal from this."

"Maybe you never will," Severus said levelly and George turned to look at him. "There are some wounds that never properly heal, but it's important to remember that they never manage to kill us either. You're still here George, you have people who love you, who support you. Can you honestly tell me that you could rob your mother of another son?"

"I wasn't thinking about that when I tried to…I just wanted it to be over," George said, looking suddenly ten years older. "Do you really believe that I can learn to live with this?" he asked, his expression horribly earnest.

"I don't know," Severus answered honestly, "but I think perhaps you should start to try."

* * *

George and Severus spent the next couple of weeks fixing, cleaning and decorating the house. After his initial resistance, George threw himself into the project and was more help than Severus could have wished for. Spinner's End barely resembled the unhappy place of his childhood, and Severus was sure that it was now worth much more than it previously would have been.

"You've done an amazing job," Harry said as he looked around the place. "Honestly, it's so bright and airy, it'd make a lovely family home."

"Better late than never," Severus said wryly.

The house was largely empty now that they had removed all the furniture from it. Severus had kept most of the books, a few pieces of crockery and a couple of items that had belonged to his mother. There weren't many memories that he wanted to treasure, but there had been times when Eileen Prince had done her best to show her son a fraction of love and affection.

He decided to keep the necklace she always wore, a present from her own mother years before Severus had been born, her wand, which he had once stopped his father from snapping in two, and a photograph of the two of them taken when Severus was around ten-years-old.

Harry sat beside Severus on the floor, their backs against the wall as they surveyed the empty living room. "Let's see the photo," Harry said, and Severus reached into his pocket and extracted it, handing it over to the man.

"You were very adult, even as a child," Harry said with a smile as he examined the photograph.

"That's a nice way of saying that I grew into my features," Severus replied.

"I happen to love your features," Harry said, nestling into Severus' side as Severus tucked an arm around him.

"I've always questioned your mental faculties," Severus said, resting his head on top of Harry's.

"She seems…like a serious sort of person," Harry said, obviously searching for a delicate way to describe the sombre, rather cheerless person in the photo.

"She had little enough reason to be happy," Severus said with a sigh. "She could have been a good mother…if she hadn't had all the joy and happiness knocked out of her by my father."

Harry snuggled in a little closer and ran his hand over Severus' chest. "I always hated the fact that I never knew my parents, that I never had the chance to be raised by them, but it seems that knowing your parents can be just as bad as not knowing them."

"I wished my father dead so many times. When I learnt about the killing curse it took every ounce of strength and self-control that I possessed not to use it on him. Luckily for me he drank himself to death before that resolve could be too sorely tested." He took a deep breath and, grateful for the fact that Harry wasn't looking at him, said, "I hate the fact that I became so much like him."

"How can you say that?" Harry asked, pulling back slightly from Severus' hold to look up at him. "You're nothing like him."

"Really? I turned into a bitter, cruel, misanthropic man who regularly terrorised children," Severus said, hating the fact that he was reminding them both of the bastard he had been for so long.

"You were playing a part."

"Not always," Severus said with resigned sadness. "After your parents died, after everything I'd done, all I had to try and make up for…it destroyed me. I hated myself and everyone around me. I wanted everyone to be as miserable as I was. I became just as much of a bastard as my father was."

"Listen to me," Harry said gently, moving to sit opposite Severus, taking the man's hands in his own. "You made some bad choices, no one could deny that, but you spent nearly half your life trying to make up for them. You had so many burdens on your shoulders, so much to contend with, that I think perhaps people could forgive you for not being the cheeriest soul on the planet. That doesn't make you like your father," he said firmly, squeezing Severus' hands.

"But I – "

"Look how you are with Teddy," Harry interjected with a soft smile, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Severus' ear.

"What do you mean?" Severus asked with a frown.

"If you were anything like your father then you wouldn't be able to be any kind of father to him."

"I'm not his father," Severus said with a shake of his head.

"As good as," Harry said, tracing a finger down Severus' cheek, his eyes warm and gentle. "You've shown him kindness, affection, patience. Every time I watch you with him I can feel my heart swell."

"I always believed I would be a terrible father, I never planned to have children, not that Teddy – "

"No," Harry said with an understanding smile, "but it feels like he's ours, doesn't it? And maybe one day we _will_ have…" Harry trailed off, a blush creeping over his cheeks as he averted his eyes from Severus'.

Severus heart thudded loudly in his chest and he reached out to gently cup Harry's chin and guide the man back to look at him. "Maybe we'll have what?" he asked, his pulse sounding loudly in his ears.

Harry blinked a couple of times, the blush showing no signs of abating. "I…I was going to say that we might…have children of our own," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Forget I said anything," he said with a sharp shake of his head. "I didn't mean to – "

"You would want to have children with me?" Severus asked, an air of reverence to his voice.

"I couldn't think of anything better," Harry said with a small, slightly uncertain smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I've overwhelmed you. It was a stupid thing to say, I just wanted you to – "

He was cut off by Severus placing a finger gently on his lips. "You will never cease to surprise me," he said softly.

He leant forward and wrapped Harry up in his arms, sweeping him up in a deep and intense kiss. After a murmured cushioning charm, he moved to lie the man down on the floor, covering his body with his own. Clothing was shed slowly, leisurely, as Severus worshipped every inch of Harry's skin with his mouth and hands.

Harry arched in pleasure, moaning, whispering words of encouragement, his hands seeking any part of Severus they could make contact with. Severus stroked and caressed, licked and teased, mapping out the planes of the body that he now knew as well as his own.

He rocked himself inside Harry and watched as Harry's eyes closed, his head tilted back as sweet, beautiful moans of ecstasy fell from his lips. There was such complete perfection in making love to Harry, such pure wonder that such a creature could love him. He moved deep inside the man, this wonderful man who had declared his wish to one day have a family with him.

It was more than he deserved, more than he ever thought he would be granted. To love so deeply was one thing, but to have that love returned in such a spectacular way was overwhelming. He held Harry tightly as he moved within the man's body, captivated by the beauty of Harry's face as he was lost in pleasure.

Harry's moans increased, his breathing became harder and heavier, and he eventually released himself with a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes hazy. Severus continued until he too was overcome, spilling deep inside Harry's body.

When their breathing finally evened out and Severus withdrew from Harry with a cleaning charm, they lay wrapped in each other's arms, a blanket transfigured from an old dust sheet covering them. Severus ran his fingers through Harry's damp hair, drawing every last drop of comfort he could from Harry's warm and familiar body.

"Did you mean it?" he whispered into the dark mop of hair beneath his lips.

"Mm? Mean what?" Harry asked sleepily, his hand drawing lazy patterns over Severus' chest and stomach.

"That you want to have a family with me?"

"More than anything," Harry murmured back. "I wouldn't mind a ring on my finger first though."

Severus' hand stilled in shock and Harry hoisted himself up on one elbow to look down at Severus with a shy and nervous smile. "I've been driving myself mad trying to work up the courage to ask you," he said, his voice shaky.

"Ask me – "

"If you'll marry me," Harry finished, his eyes shining.

"You…you want to marry me?" Severus asked in disbelief. This wasn't possible. Harry had told him he loved him, had demonstrated it a hundred different ways since his declaration, but there was still part of Severus' mind that told him this was all temporary. Part of him truly believed that Harry would come to his senses and realise that there were scores of people out there who were better suited to him.

This though…this was something Severus hadn't anticipated, had never even dared to hope for. In the space of an hour or so, Harry had declared his desire not only for a family with him, but to marry him. There wasn't enough space in Severus' head for all the thoughts that vied manically for attention.

"I'm so in love with you that sometimes I can't think of anything besides you," Harry said, flushed and beautiful. "I'm aware of all your flaws and I love you more because of them. I respect and admire you, I love your company more than anyone else's in the world, and I cannot picture a future without you in it. I don't expect you to give me an answer right away, and I'll understand if you don't – "

"Is there really any part of you that believes my answer would be anything other than yes?" Severus asked, feeling his heart flutter as Harry's face broke into a wide and somewhat relieved grin.

"You'll marry me?" Harry asked, breathless.

"It would be the greatest honour of my life."

Harry had never looked more beautiful than he did in that moment, and Severus' heart nearly burst from his chest at the thought that he would one day be able to call this man his husband. They met with a kiss full of elation and love, and as Harry melted into him, Severus smiled at the thought that he had finally managed to create a happy memory in Spinner's End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I loved writing this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Please leave me a comment and let me know.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"If you use the flat of your knife to crush it rather than slice it, you'll end up with a potion with much better clarity," Severus instructed as he oversaw Haizea's brewing.

"And why are we adding the ground ivy?" Haizea asked as she concentrated on the cauldron in front of her. "The recipe doesn't call for it."

"It's long been considered a useful component in relieving any ailments to do with the lungs. As this is a potion designed to combat bronchial-related issues, its addition is most useful."

"Fascinating," said Haizea as she added a little vinegar into the mortar and began to grind the ivy into a fine paste. "Your additions to these potions are remarkable, have you ever thought of producing your own book?"

"It's crossed my mind once or twice," Severus admitted, feeling a little embarrassed. He had never taken to praise well, never having received much of it in his lifetime, but with potions he was on fairly certain ground. "Perhaps one day I'll pursue it."

Haizea had been working with him for a little over a month. She tended to work only mornings as she tired easily, but when she was having a good day she would stay until the evening. She and Harry got on well, and she had stayed for dinner with them several times.

She was competent and efficient, and took initiative well, enabling Severus to get on with his own work while leaving her in charge of other things. He was glad of the help as the orders were increasing from the Ministry, and he needed to be able to keep up with them while still brewing for Maggie.

"Sev?" came Harry's voice calling from the garden. "Neville's just popped by, says he wants to talk to you."

Harry appeared in the doorway to the potions lab, peering in to make sure it was safe to enter. He smiled across at Severus and Severus felt his lip twitch in response. Their behaviour was conspiratorial, both still reeling from the fact that they were now engaged. They had yet to tell anyone but had agreed that when they set a date they would let their friends know.

For the time being, they were enjoying having a secret that was just theirs, something that only they knew about. Severus was still waiting for Harry to come to his senses, to realise what a stupid mistake he had made and retract his offer, but it hadn't happened yet. It was more than he dared to for hope, that Harry would be his husband, that he would spend the rest of his life with him.

"Come and stir this for me then," he said, and Harry grinned at him.

"You trust me to stir something?" Harry said, moving into the lab and standing beside Severus. "I'm deeply honoured."

"It's a simple fever-reducing potion, my love. Even you couldn't mess that up."

He hadn't missed the look in Harry's eyes at the use of the demonstrative endearment, and he silently vowed to use it as often as he could, just to see that look on the man's face. Harry squeezed in front of him and began to stir, and, after casting a quick look at Haizea to make sure she was occupied, Severus nuzzled the edge of Harry's ear.

"Slow, steady strokes, my love," he whispered, and Harry's breath caught in his throat as he pressed himself back against Severus' body. There was something about another person being in the room with them that sent a thrill of excitement along Severus' veins. "We'll have to make you truly proficient if you're to be a Potions Master's husband.

Harry emitted a happy little sigh and whispered back, "If that's your stipulation for marrying me then I'll never get that ring on my finger."

"Perhaps I'll make an exception," Severus teased, giving Harry's backside a firm squeeze before removing himself and taking a couple of deep breaths before he went outside to greet Neville.

"What brings you here?" he said, giving the man's hand a brief shake.

"I have news for you," Neville replied, waving the folder in his hand. "I've re-negotiated your contract with the Ministry."

"Oh?" Severus said, intrigued.

"They will now be paying you a basic rate of pay for your general services, which you'll receive each month by way of a salary, on top of which you will now be paid commission for each potion you brew that requires a Mastery. There is a scale of commission depending on the complexity of the potion and you'll see that the sum is per unit you produce."

Neville handed him the file and Severus opened it. It took him a moment to fully take in the figures on the page, and he was sure there must have been a mistake. The basic monthly salary alone was a greater wage than he had ever earnt, and if one were to add on the commission…life would be very comfortable indeed.

"How on earth were you able to accomplish this?" Severus asked in amazement.

"I can be very persuasive when I put my mind to it," Neville said, his mouth doing its best to curve into a smirk. The expression didn't quite fit his face and ended up becoming more of a mischievous smile.

"This is incredible. I can't believe they ever agreed to it."

"Your services are invaluable to them, and they know it. The Wolfsbane alone is worth a king's ransom. So many people were bitten during the war, they simply couldn't function without it. I'll be making sure that a press release is issued in the next week or so naming you as the official brewer for the Ministry. It's time people knew that the things they rely so heavily on are supplied by a Slytherin."

"I really am beginning to think that you were placed in the wrong house," Severus said, looking at Neville through narrowed eyes.

Neville grinned and said, "I do believe that that is the highest compliment you've ever paid me."

"Well," said Severus, deciding to employ a few Slytherin tactics of his own, "one good turn deserves another. There is currently a young lady in my potions lab who I'm sure would be very happy to receive an invitation to dinner."

Neville's cheeks coloured and he looked down at the ground. "I…I'm not sure that's – "

"Neville, if you don't go and ask her, I shall do it for you. I promise you that won't make nearly such a good impression as you asking her yourself."

"You're an evil old git, you know that?" Neville groused.

"Is that any way to speak to your favourite teacher?" Severus asked with a sly smile. "Tell Harry he can turn the flame off under the potion he's stirring and come back inside."

Severus turned on his heel and walked back to the house. Only when he was inside did he allow himself to glance out of the window, smiling as he watched Neville take several deep breaths before shuffling off to the outbuilding.

Harry came back into the house moments later, saying, "What did Nev want with you?"

"To show me this," Severus said, handing Harry the folder containing his new contract.

Harry took it and read through it, his eyes widening in surprise. "Bloody hell," he said, looking back up at Severus. "This is incredible." He grinned and said, "I rather like the thought of being a kept man. I'd better hurry and marry you so I can legally claim half of this."

"Brat," Severus said, reaching out and pulling Harry to him. Harry went willingly, sliding his arms up to wind around Severus' neck. "Have you thought anymore about a date for our improbable wedding?"

"I shan't marry you at all if you keep referring to the wedding as 'improbable'. It's just as probable as anything else that's happened in the last few years."

"Don't get me started on a response to _that_ ," Severus said and Harry grinned at him.

"I've always quite fancied the idea of a winter wedding, it seems rather romantic. Maybe the beginning of December?"

"I'll pencil it in the diary," Severus said, earning himself a light thump on the arm.

"Does this mean…are we going to tell people?" Harry asked, a nervous glint in his eye.

"I rather think we should, or we won't have any guests."

Harry laughed and Severus was struck once again by how beautiful the man was. He loved the planes of Harry's face, the delicate freckles across the man's nose, the full beautiful mouth that was capable of giving him so much pleasure. It still seemed impossible that he shared a life with this man, that Harry loved him, wanted him, welcomed him to his bed night after night. He had never expected redemption to look quite like this.

"We're really doing this, aren't we?" Harry asked, his eyes bright. "You really will marry me?"

Severus resisted the urge to laugh out loud. Harry was beautiful, intelligent, beguiling and yet here he was doubting his own charms, doubting that Severus wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

"If you're sure you want to shackle yourself to a broken-down former Death Eater with very little to recommend him."

Harry reached up and brushed his hand across Severus' cheek. "No, I don't want to do that," he said softly. "I want to marry the only person I have ever loved, the man who saved my life countless times and who has made me happier than I've been in years. Every time I think about being your husband if feels like my heart's going to burst out of my chest."

"What on earth did I ever do to find myself in the clutches of such a romantic, sentimental Gryffindor?" he said, but the pleased blush spreading across his cheeks belied his words.

"I don't know," Harry said with a laugh, "but it must have been something good."

* * *

News of their engagement spread like wildfire among their group and, unsurprisingly, they were summoned to a celebratory party at the Burrow. Severus went only because of the utterly filthy promises that Harry made him, which only became more inventive the longer Severus dug his heels in.

It wasn't that he didn't want to go, he enjoyed the Weasleys' company these days, but he wasn't sure how news of his engagement to Harry would be met. Since living with the man, all had been friendly and welcoming to him, but he was sure they would want more for Harry than he could offer.

It was one thing to be welcomed as Harry's house guest, someone he had campaigned for, but Severus wasn't sure if he would be welcome as Harry's fiancé. He had expected them to be polite, but that at some point someone would perhaps pull Harry aside and ask if he lost his mind.

It didn't happen. Molly seemed genuinely thrilled, pulling Severus into a hug and murmuring something about taking his measurements for a Christmas jumper, while Arthur shook his hand with a wide grin, declaring news of the engagement to be the best he had heard in ages.

The Weasley children and their various partners all echoed the sentiment, accompanied by much hand-shaking and back-slapping. George was particularly enthusiastic, and he wrapped both Harry and Severus up in a bone-crushing hug and gave them a genuine and warm smile, an expression that Severus hadn't seen on the man's face for months.

Ron, Draco and Hermione had been told the news in advance, but they were no less vociferous in their congratulations. From the looks they were shooting one another, Severus wondered whether Ron and Draco would be making their own announcement in due course.

The champagne was opened and Molly had outdone herself with the immense spread she had put on. Severus didn't have much time to collect his thoughts or to take in much of the situation, surprised as he was that news of his impending marriage to Harry had been met with such happiness.

"You look a bit nonplussed," Ron said with a grin as he joined Severus on the sofa.

"I confess I am," Severus said, feeling a bit light-headed, both from the situation and the many glasses of champagne that had been poured down his throat.

"What were you expecting?" Ron asked, obviously amused. "That my family would be horrified? That they'd do everything they could to persuade Harry to change his mind?"

"Something like that," Severus muttered, watching the delicate little bubbles in his drink fizzle up to the surface.

"You're a prat," Ron said with a snort and Severus tried to summon up a glare. "When are you going to realise that people don't hate you anymore? No one thinks of you as the bitter old Potions Master these days, no one thinks of you as a traitor," he finished softly. "All people think is that you're a brave, honourable man who's seen more than his fair share of hardship and struggle. Sure you're a bit of bastard, and no one could accuse you of being the cheeriest man on the planet," Ron said with a wide grin, "but you make Harry happy and we're all thrilled for you both."

Severus sighed and rubbed at eyes. "It is unbelievable enough that Harry wants this, let alone that others accept it."

"As I understand it, Harry was the one that proposed to you. Surely that tells you a little something about how Harry feels about it?" Ron asked, slinging one long arm across the back of the sofa.

"It just all seems…so unlikely," Severus said, his tongue loosened by the alcohol.

"It is," Ron said, not unkindly. "Just as it is with me and Drake. I never thought I'd be in love with him, nor he me, and yet here we are. Things don't always turn out the way you expect them, which is often a bloody good thing," he said with a wry smile. "Harry loves you, and you love him. You have a chance at a real future here, a future filled with happiness and warmth. Don't risk it by second-guessing everything and thinking yourself unworthy of it."

"I was so sure that your family wouldn't approve," Severus said, feeling as though his mind hadn't really had a chance to fully process everything since Harry had proposed to him.

"It wouldn't have mattered if they hadn't. Harry wouldn't have let that stop him. He's head over heels for you."

"I always said he was a tad unhinged," Severus said with a smirk and Ron laughed in response.

"I can't argue with you on that one, but I won't question his sanity when it comes to his choice in you. He's loved you for a long time, to see him get the chance to make a life with you is…gratifying to say the least."

"Are you talking about me?" came Harry's voice from the doorway.

"Always," Severus said, holding out his hand. Harry took it and Severus gently pulled Harry down to sit in his lap. "I take it you've already asked Ron to be your best man?"

"And Hermione to be my best woman," Harry said with a grin.

"Ah…well if you get two people to stand up for you, perhaps I can as well," Severus said, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and holding him tightly.

"Who are you thinking of?" Harry asked, his arm wrapping around Severus' shoulders as he made himself comfortable on the man's lap.

"Well, Draco, fairly obviously, but I was wondering if perhaps George would be amenable to acting as best man also," Severus said, running a hand up and down Harry's back.

"That's a wonderful idea," Harry said with a smile. "He thinks a lot of you."

"I'm sure he'd love to," Ron said, mirroring Harry's smile. "He's…been a lot better lately. I know there's a long road ahead, but helping you with the house made him realise that he needed something to keep himself occupied. He spends every day in the garden now and keeps himself busy with the shop. He's a regular visitor to your place too, isn't he?"

Harry nodded, nestling into Severus' hold. "He comes for dinner every other Friday and pops by at the weekends to take advantage of the walks around the house. He's looking a lot better, he seems more positive about things too. Let's hope that with time and effort we can help him heal."

"I'm sure he will," came George's soft voice as he moved into the living room.

"George, sorry we were – " Harry began, blushing, but George waved a dismissive hand.

"It's alright. I'm used to people talking about me now, can't blame them I suppose.

He flopped down in the armchair opposite as smiled at them all. "It's true, I am feeling better than I was, and I have all of you to thank. There are still dark days, and I don't doubt there'll be countless more in the future, but I'm learning to cope with them. I've agreed to see a mind healer."

"That's great news," Ron said, the relief evident in his voice. "I'm so proud of you George, that can't have been an easy decision to make."

George shrugged, a small smile on his lips. "I had to accept that I need help, that I can't do this on my own, however much I might want to."

"I was hoping you might do me the honour of being my best man, alongside Draco," Severus said, watching as an expression of surprise flitted across George's face.

"Me?" George asked, obviously incredulous. "Why on earth would you want me?"

Severus smirked and said, "Poor judgement, obviously."

"It would have to be," George said with a laugh. "Alright Prof, I'd be honoured. It's about time you made an honest man out of our Harry after all. Can't have you two living in sin for the foreseeable."

"Ooh I don't know," Harry said, leaning in to press a kiss to Severus' jaw. "I quite enjoy the sin. Still, I can't wait to get that ring on my finger."

Severus held Harry close and breathed in the delicious scent of him. This man was going to be his husband, and the date of their wedding couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

"It's so strange being back here."

"I know. I never thought I'd see this place again."

"I have to admit I'm nervous. If it's changed as much as people say…it'll be a lot to take in."

Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him close, pressing a kiss to his temple. They were standing in the entrance hall of Hogwarts, looking up at the grand staircase, each man preoccupied with their thoughts of the place that had played such a big part in both their lives.

They were there to speak with McGonagall and the board of governors about the present situation at the school, specifically the eradication of Slytherin and the treatment of the former members of the house. There was also a position vacant with the governors and Harry was going to put his name forward to be appointed. It was one thing, he argued, to continue campaigning for change, but he wanted to place himself in a position where he could affect it.

The meeting wasn't until the following day, but they had both wanted to spend some time with McGonagall and try and acclimatise themselves to the changes that had taken place since they had left.

"Severus, Harry," said McGonagall with a welcome smile as she swept down the staircase to greet them. "It's so lovely to see you, and I hear congratulations are in order."

Severus tried to control the smile that tried to break onto his lips every time someone reminded him that he had the rather excellent fortune of being engaged to Harry. "We hope you'll accept the invitation to attend our wedding," Severus said, and Harry reached into his robes, pulling out the written invitation and handing it to her.

"I'd be delighted," McGonagall said, beaming at the two of them. "The 5th of December," she read, "only six months away! How exciting."

"Bet you never thought you'd see the day, eh?" Harry said, tucking himself more firmly into Severus' side and running his hand along the man's chest.

McGonagall gave them both a wry smile and said, "I must admit, I never anticipated the two of you…finding happiness with one another. I'm thrilled that you did though." She pocketed the invitation and said, "Now, there are some guest rooms on the 5th floor that you can – "

"Actually Minerva," Harry interrupted her, a funny little smile playing about the corners of his mouth, "we were wondering if Severus' old quarters were available."

Severus did his best to hide his surprise. Harry had mentioned no such thing, and he had certainly said nothing about staying in the dungeons. Knowing his fiancé though, there would be a reason for the request.

"Yes, they are," McGonagall said, clearly a little baffled. "You wish to stay there?"

"If you don't mind," Harry said, flashing his most charming smile. "For the sake of…nostalgia, shall we say?"

Severus couldn't imagine what sort of nostalgia Harry could hold about the dungeons, or for his quarters, but he was intrigued to find out the man's motives.

McGonagall invited them for a cup of tea while the house elves had a chance to give the dungeon quarters a quick spruce up as they hadn't been used in three years. She was still as fraught and tired as Severus could remember her being at his trial, but she possessed an air of fierce determination and a will of solid iron. Were it anyone else in her position, he felt sure that the situation would be at least ten times worse.

They politely refused the invitation to dine in the Great Hall, not wishing to draw attention to themselves before Harry was due to address the student body the following day. Soon enough Severus found himself walking a very familiar path down to the dungeons, Harry's hand in his own.

There were no wards placed around his door anymore, but Severus could still feel the faint trace of magic where they had once been. He opened the door and was confronted with what had once been his office, beyond which lay the door that led to his personal quarters. It looked the same, yet different. There was very little furniture left in the old office space, unused as it was, but the memories that permeated the room made it more familiar than it should have been.

They moved through to the quarters and again, things were familiar but different. The furniture had mostly been replaced and of course all his personal effects were no longer there. Still, as with his old office, the place was full to the brim with memories and he found himself fighting to hold off the emotions he could feel building inside him.

"I thought it might do you some good to come back, to lay a couple of old ghosts to rest," Harry said gently, leaning up to nuzzle along the man's jaw.

"Perhaps it will," Severus said quietly.

Harry moved to stand in front of him, placing his hands on his shoulders and looking up at him with a slightly guilty look. "I confess that I also had selfish reasons for wanting to stay here."

"Oh?" Severus asked, wondering what was going on in his lover's mind.

Harry moved closer, managing to look innocent and debauched at the same time, and Severus felt himself begin to harden at the sight of his lover with a very obvious motive in mind. Harry bit his lip for a moment and it took all of Severus' restraint not to grab the man by his shirt and plunder his mouth until the man was gasping for breath.

"I have a…fantasy," Harry said softly, his green eyes shining.

Harry moved back into the office, Severus following, now greatly intrigued. Harry removed his wand from his sleeve and transfigured a couple of nearby boxes into a desk that bore a great resemblance to Severus' old one. He then waved his wand over himself and his clothes transformed into school robes, complete with Gryffindor tie.

He looked up at Severus, his expression shy, a slight flush on his cheeks. Severus was now completely hard, thrilled at the thought of what Harry wanted. To witness Harry's sexual development was one thing, to be a part of it was quite another. He was a thoroughly intoxicating mix of adventurous and shy, confident yet demure, and Severus found every minute spent making love to the man to be more than he could have hoped for.

"What do you think?" Harry asked, a slightly nervous look in his eye.

Severus let his eyes rove up and down Harry's body, clothed in his former school uniform. He had never harboured lustful thoughts towards Harry when he'd been a pupil, but _his_ Harry, the man who would be 21 in a few weeks, was thoroughly delicious to him.

"I think, Mr Potter," he said smoothly, "that you would do well to remember to address me properly."

"I'm sorry sir," Harry said with a grin, looking as though all his Christmases had come at once. "I'm here for my detention," he said, and Severus felt a thrill go through him. "What would you like me to do?"

Severus paused and collected his thoughts for a moment, trying to revert back to teacher mode, trying to recall the person he had been all that time ago. He raised his head and looked down his long nose at Harry, trying his best to affect a sneer.

"Given the severity of your transgression, it seems only fitting that the punishment is as severe as I can make it."

"I understand sir," Harry said with more deference than he had ever shown as a student.

"Come here, Potter," Severus said, his voice low and dangerous. Harry moved forward and stood in front of him, twisting his hands in the thick black robes. "On your knees," Severus purred and Harry complied, unable to mask his grin.

Severus slowly shook himself out his robes and tossed them aside, then undid his trousers and let them fall to the floor, leaving him standing in his shirt and underwear. His very obvious erection strained against the thin cotton of his pants and he divested himself of them, his bobbing prick almost level with Harry's mouth.

"I don't understand sir," Harry said, looking up at him with wide-eyed innocence. "Is this my punishment?"

"That mouth of yours has got you into trouble more times than I can count. Now you're going to learn to put it to good use. Suck," Severus said harshly, guiding his prick to Harry's mouth.

He opened it willingly and Severus groaned as he found himself engulfed in the warm wetness of Harry's mouth. Harry couldn't disguise his skill in this particular endeavour, no matter how innocent he was pretending to be. He rolled his tongue over the head of Severus' cock then licked a trail downwards all the way to Severus' balls.

He hummed and moved his mouth up and down several times, his head bobbing back and forth as he gripped the base of Severus' erection firmly, just as he liked it. He moved downwards to nuzzle Severus' balls and Severus twined his fingers through Harry's black hair, holding tightly. The man had a sinful mouth, and Severus had never imagined, all those years ago, just how talented he would be with it.

He had truly never considered Harry in that light when he had been his pupil, but now that Harry had instigated this little fantasy, he couldn't help but indulge in similar ideas. He imagined Harry sitting at his desk in the potions classroom, insolent and sullen. He imagined striding over to him, parting his robes and forcing his cock down the boy's throat as Harry sucked for all he was worth.

"Ahh, Har…Potter," he quickly corrected himself as he groaned in pleasure. "Not such an innocent little boy as you'd like others to think you are, are you?"

Harry raised his eyes, his mouth still full of Severus' cock, and Severus knew he was in danger of coming right at the moment if he didn't halt Harry's delicious ministrations. "Up Potter, I'm not done with you yet," he said, impressed at how menacing he could be standing in just his shirt with his painfully erect cock bobbing about like a cork.

Harry rose to his feet, looking utterly thrilled at how his fantasy was playing out. Severus stepped forward and slowly loosened the red and yellow tie, slipping it from around Harry's neck and holding it in his hands. "Strip," he said, keeping hold of the tie. He had plans for the garment. "Completely."

"Yes sir," Harry said breathily, continuing to affect the air of an ingenu.

He slipped the heavy robes from his shoulders, letting them pool in a heap on the floor, then slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He slid it from his shoulders, then moved to divest himself of his trousers, stepping out of them gracefully and nudging them to one side with his foot.

"I said completely, Potter," Severus said with a raised eyebrow. "Let us not stand upon false modesty, I'm sure you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Harry indeed had nothing to be embarrassed about, and as he drew his underwear down over his hips, Severus' eyes went directly to the hard, long cock that was revealed. It didn't fit in with his plans to sink to his knees and suck the man dry, but the night was young and he was sure he would have ample time to do so at his leisure.

"Aren't you a pretty thing?" he said with a smirk and Harry sent an unconvincing glare his way. "Turn around and brace your hands on the desk," he commanded, not missing the look of delight in Harry's eyes.

Harry did as he was told, presenting Severus with a perfect view of his pert, round backside. Severus moved behind Harry and cupped one firm cheek, moving his lips to Harry's ear as he did so. He nipped at the earlobe, earning a surprised gasp from Harry, then whispered,

"Such a perfect little arse, made for a good fucking. Is that what you want, Potter?"

"Oh God yes," Harry breathed.

"Yes what?" Severus said, squeezing Harry's arse harshly.

"Yes sir," Harry amended, sounding as though he was very close to begging.

Severus moved his lips to tease the skin of Harry's neck, then down across his shoulders. "I have a lesson to teach you first," he murmured against Harry's skin. He reached for the tie that he had removed from Harry, placing it over the man's eyes and tying it tightly. Harry let out a soft little moan of pleasure, and Severus could feel the man's pulse quicken underneath his fingertips.

"You will hold that position," Severus instructed and Harry nodded with a soft 'Yes sir'. Severus let his hands rove over Harry's back, his touch light and teasing, just the way he knew Harry liked it. He traced the gentle bumps of Harry's spine and moved downwards to the small of Harry's back and over the man's hips. He knew Harry's cock must be screaming for attention by now, but he was going to deny it for a little while longer.

He dropped to his knees and gently parted Harry's firm cheeks, blowing softly over the delicate entrance. Harry shivered and moaned, "Severus…I…I mean sir." Severus smiled and leant forward to nuzzle the sensitive area before swiping his tongue over it several times. He lathed it well, then nibbled and sucked the beautiful cheeks that surrounded it, his cock swelling as Harry began to keen beneath him.

"Keep still, Potter," he growled and Harry could do little but nod in response. Severus leant forward and breached Harry with his tongue, relishing the delightful moan that left Harry's lips. He moved in and out of Harry's tight body, swirling and swiping with each movement until Harry was trying to grip the table, begging Severus for more.

He rose to his feet and summoned their vial of lube from his luggage, pouring it all over his fingers and moving to thrust two inside his gorgeous body. His free hand gripped Harry's shoulder and he leant forward to whisper, "Do you want me to fuck you, Potter?"

"Oh God, please sir," Harry whimpered.

"Do you feel that would adequately teach you your lesson?"

"It would sir, it would," Harry breathed, nodding emphatically as Severus continued to work his fingers deep inside Harry. He twisted them and Harry cried out, leaning forward against the desk, presenting more of himself for Severus to use. "Please…please sir, I need – "

"I know full well what you need, Mr Potter. You've needed a good fucking for a long time now, and I would be only too happy to oblige."

He removed his fingers and poured more lube into his palm, slicking his cock well, trying not to touch himself too firmly for fear of coming before he got inside Harry. He gripped the man's hips and guided his throbbing erection to Harry's entrance, whispering, "You asked for this, Potter," before thrusting inside in one fluid movement.

"Oh fuck yes," Harry moaned, his head thrown backwards, his vision still obscured by the tie serving as a blindfold. Next time, Severus thought as he began to move in and out of the body he knew so well, he would be using that tie to bind Harry's hands to the bed. He could think of nothing better than having Harry completely at his mercy, totally vulnerable to whatever torturous pleasures he could dream up.

Harry pushed back against him and soon they found a rhythm that enabled the pleasure to build steadily. Severus kept a firm hold of Harry's hips, promising himself to rub something on them later that would ensure he didn't leave bruises. Harry's breathing was quick and ragged, beautiful little moans and groans falling from his lips as Severus pounded into him.

"Oh yes…yes Sev, just like that, fuck yes," Harry said, and Severus was so far gone that he didn't bother to correct Harry for not calling him sir. He moved his hand around Harry's body to grip the man's hard erection, pumping it firmly as he moved inside the man. "Oh God, so fucking good," Harry groaned, and Severus once again silently thanked anyone who was listening that Harry had turned out to be such a vocal lover.

"You want it hard, Harry?" he whispered into Harry's ear, feeling himself tip towards the edge with every exquisite thrust.

"Oh fuck yes. Please Sev, I want to feel every inch of you. Fuck me…fuck me hard," he said with a slight growl that sent sparks of electricity through Severus' body.

Never one to deny the man anything, Severus complied willingly and thrust into Harry like there was no tomorrow. He fisted the man's cock and soon Harry's was coming with a deep, guttural moan, sending Severus rushing headfirst into his own overwhelming orgasm.

There was silence for a moment as Severus let his head roll forward to rest on Harry's shoulder, both men trying to even out their breathing. After a few moments, Harry let out a tired chuckle then said, "Bloody hell, that was fucking fantastic. I've never even thought about roleplay before but Merlin…we're doing that again."

Severus laughed softly and gently withdrew from Harry's body with a murmured cleaning charm. "I already have several scenarios in mind," he said, and Harry removed the tie from his eyes and turned around to face Severus, his eyes a little clouded after having his vision impaired for so long.

"God, I love you," Harry whispered, winding his arms around Severus' neck and pulling himself against the man's spent body. "No one could make me feel the things you do."

Severus pulse quickened and he held Harry tightly in his arms. "No one shall get a chance now I've laid claim to you," he said, fully aware of how possessive he sounded. There was no point trying to disguise it; Harry was his now, although he rather suspected that his soon-to-be-husband would have it no other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love a Hogwarts-related fantasy! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave a comment and let me know.
> 
> I'm off on holiday tomorrow, so my apologies if I don't manage to reply to your comments straight away.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Severus watched as Harry's eyes fluttered gently as he slept. There was still some time before they had to get up and Severus could hardly begrudge Harry a lie-in as he was largely responsible for Harry's tiredness.

After their little foray into the student/teacher roleplay they had enjoyed a pleasant dinner in Severus' former quarters followed by a leisurely shared shower. Afterward they had made their way to bed and embarked upon a slow and languid session of love-making.

Severus would never have been able to say which kind of sex he preferred with Harry. They had fun quickies, both laughing their way through the encounter until they came with shouts of delight. They had hot, passionate sex, sometimes up against the wall or perhaps on the kitchen table, their hands grasping at one another as they burned their way towards completion. They had slow, gentle sex, making love to one another with softly whispered words of love and adoration, their orgasms feeling like the greatest release that could be granted.

Each time Severus felt as though he was coming home, that he had never known what it was truly like to share his body with another person before Harry. He had never known such levels of intimacy and trust and sometimes he had to pause and remind himself that for once self-sabotage wasn't necessary.

Harry shifted and turned to lie on his side, eventually opening his eyes slowly. He stretched and smiled up at Severus, running a hand through his messy hair before saying, "Watching me sleep now?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Severus said with a smirk.

Harry rolled his eyes and tucked himself into Severus' side, running his hand up and down Severus' bare chest. "How much longer til we have to get up?" he asked with a yawn.

"A little while yet," Severus replied, running his fingers through the soft, black strands of Harry's hair.

There was a moment's pause before Harry said softly, "Is it strange for you, being back here?"

Severus considered the question, feeling Harry's warmth settle on him, the man's weight so familiar now. "I was a different man when I was last here. So much has happened…so much has changed. It feels like perhaps a part of me never left, that it's still here living as a ghost."

"Ghosts don't live," Harry said gently, "they haunt. There's no reason for any part of you to do that."

"There's a part of me that still owes penance."

Harry sighed and disentangled himself slightly to look up at Severus. "I know there's nothing I can say that will convince you otherwise, so I won't waste my breath. There's plenty that you're doing now to atone for whatever transgressions you think were made in the past."

"You speak as though I imagine them."

Harry shook his head and said, "I speak knowing you'll never let yourself forget them. Doesn't that speak of atonement to you?" Perhaps knowing that Severus would never let himself off the hook so easily, Harry continued, "The best thing you can do is to make this a better world for those who are left, and…for those who might come along," he said with a gentle smile.

Severus couldn't help but return the smile and he reached out and trailed his hand down Harry's torso until it came to rest on his abdomen. "You're speaking of our children?"

Harry nodded and laid his hand over Severus'. "Could I? Could I carry a child?" he asked, his eyes bright.

Severus felt the warmth of Harry's skin beneath his hand and said, "If you happened to be married to a Potions Master as the top of his field, then yes, you could."

Harry grinned and said, "What would you want, boy or girl?"

Severus knew he was supposed to say that he wouldn't mind as long as it was healthy, and of course, that was the main thing, but he found himself saying, "A girl."

"I can just imagine, she'll be your little princess!" Harry said, his eyes shining with laughter. "She'll wrap you around her little finger and you'll spoil her rotten. It'll be up to me to be the baddie and say no! All those years being the scourge of children and you'll be turned to butter by our daughter."

Hearing Harry say 'our daughter' made Severus' heart beat in a way it had never done before. His mind was flooded with images of a little girl with long black hair and green eyes that danced the way Harry's did. Perhaps she would inherit Harry's talent for flying, or maybe she would follow him and make Potions her art.

Would she have his temperament or would she be more like Harry? She could always take after both of them course; she might be studious but impulsive, quiet yet reckless. No doubt she would give them both countless sleepless nights and would probably be as difficult as both he and Harry were capable of being.

Gentle fingers roved across his hairline and he looked down at Harry to see the man smiling up at him. "Picturing her?" Harry asked softly, and Severus had to wonder when he had become so transparent. "She'll be a handful," Harry said with a grin. "A mix of both our genes, our stubbornness, our knack for getting into trouble."

"Excuse me, Mr Potter, but _you_ are the one renowned for getting yourself into trouble. I have no such reputation."

"Oh no," Harry said, highly amused, "a right little angel you, eh? Face it love, any child the two of us produce will give us one hell of a ride."

"I can't wait," Severus said, leaning down to capture Harry's lips in a soft and gentle kiss.

* * *

"With all due respect, Governor Critchlow, you are talking out of your sizeable arse!"

The sputters of indignation that followed were quickly drowned out by Harry standing up, placing his fists on the table in front of him and glaring fiercely at the assembled board of governors.

"I have never heard such ill-informed, badly considered diatribe in all my life, which, considering I was taught by both Gilderoy Lockhart and Dolores Umbridge is really saying something!" Harry continued, undeterred by the increasingly loud objections from those seated in McGonagall's office.

The meeting had started civilly enough; everyone waited their turn to speak, opinions were put forth with tact and Harry had been charm itself. That soon changed when Governor Critchlow had announced that he believed all those left in the school who had previously been sorted into Slytherin should be transferred to overseas schools.

"Mr Potter, you are no longer a student at this institution, nor do you have children here. I fail to see why you think your intervention necessary," Critchlow said, his lip curling in a nasty snarl.

Harry's eyes narrowed and Severus felt glad that he wasn't on the receiving end of that look. "This school is the starting place for those who will one day enter the wider wizarding world," Harry said, his voice low and commanding. "This is where young minds are moulded, where they'll form their ideas about the people and world around them. Are you telling me that you want to send out bigoted, misguided young people whose ideology will become as flawed as the Purebloods before them?"

"It's hardly the same thing, Mr Potter," Critchlow said with a condescending sneer.

"No, you're right," Harry said with icy composure, "it's not the same thing. The Pureblood cause never had the law and the Ministry on its side. They never locked up Muggle-borns for no reason other than their heritage, they never stopped them from finding work or stripped them of the barest of rights. They never managed to whip up widespread fear and frenzy to the point where the whole of wizard society condemned those they hated."

"You speak as though you admire their cause," Critchlow said, then immediately seemed to realise his mistake as the whole room being to crackle with potent magic.

All but Severus and McGonagall found themselves stuck fast in their seats and Severus was sure he could see the air shimmer with Harry's power. It was so controlled, so focused. There was nothing left of the schoolboy who would suffer slips of magic when overcome by his emotions. This was deliberate, strategic, and Severus had never felt prouder of his lover.

"You fatuous little man," Harry said, his anger palpable but controlled. "Are you truly so blind that you can't see what you're doing? You're creating the perfect breeding ground for the next dark power to rise up. You can't continue to marginalise and disenfranchise a whole section of society and expect no repercussions from it."

Harry sighed and allowed his anger to deflate a little. He pushed his glasses up his nose and straightened his shoulders. "After the war, we should have all pulled together, we should have worked to make this a world that was safe and fair for everyone. Instead, we're left with this intolerable situation that you must see is a ticking time bomb."

He took a deep breath and let his gaze sweep over all assembled in the room. "I am urging you all to reconsider the abolition of Slytherin house. Hogwarts has long been a beacon for those in the wizarding world look to to guide them. It has a long history of setting precedents, of setting examples. We need it now more than ever to lead the way, to be seen by others as a place that isn't afraid to celebrate all the richness and diversity of our society. You don't realise the role you will play in securing a safe and positive future. Please consider the path we're on now, consider how you could be the ones to change it."

* * *

"I never realised you had such a flare for the dramatic," Severus told Harry later that evening as they made their way to the Great Hall.

Harry grinned and said, "It's something I learnt very early on in this fight. Sincerity will only get you so far, sometimes you have to whack people over the head with what you want to tell them."

"And will you be employing these tactics for your speech?" Severus asked as Harry's hand slipped inside his own.

"Perhaps," Harry said thoughtfully. "Although it's always been my experience that teenagers are able to sniff out that sort of thing more easily than adults. Anyway, I'm hoping they'll be more receptive than the board of governors, especially those who are directly affected by what's happening."

"I think the governors found themselves rather affected," Severus said with a smirk and Harry's cheeks flushed attractively. "I wonder how they'll take your petition to join them."

"There were a couple of people who agreed with what I was saying. I could see it their eyes. McGonagall will have the casting vote anyway, so there's a good chance that by September I'll be on that board."

Severus stopped walking and gave Harry's hand a gentle tug, halting the man's movements. "There are many people in this world who owe you a great deal," he said, and Harry dipped his head in embarrassment.

"It's hardly been a single-handed endeavour," he said with a shrug. "There are loads of us involved in this fight."

"You began it," Severus said gently. "Don't forget, I've had ample time to speak to Ron and Hermione about the start of all this. If it weren't for you, countless people would still be in prison, myself included. Have I ever thanked you properly for that?" he asked, his expression turning teasing.

Harry took a quick glance around the corridor they were in and moved closer, wrapping his arms around Severus' neck. "I don't need any thanks, it was purely selfish, I assure you. I wanted to have you in my clutches so I could have my wicked way with you," he murmured, pulling his body up closely to Severus'. "Did I tell you about another Hogwarts fantasy I have?"

"I'm beginning to wonder about the state of your mind while you were here, Mr Potter. Did you always harbour these thoughts?"

Harry shook his head with a smile and said, "No, these are thoughts that had a long time to brew in my head while I realised I was in love with you."

It didn't matter how many times Harry said it, every time Severus heard it his whole body felt as though it had been flooded with warmth. "What's this fantasy then, Mr Potter?" he asked, his voice low.

Harry was trying very hard not to grin, but he was fighting a losing battle. "Picture it, Professor – I've snuck out of my dormitory – "

"Oh however shall I try and imagine that?" Severus interjected dryly, earning himself a thump on the shoulder for his troubles.

Harry continued, "I've snuck out of my dormitory to go up to the Astronomy Tower. Let's say I'm harbouring a deeply-felt crush for one of my teachers that I know has no hope of going anywhere and I feel the need to nurse my angst with a bit of star-gazing."

Severus raised an eyebrow but Harry ploughed on, saying, "So I'm standing up there, a little heartbroken, wallowing in my teenage lust, when who should appear out of the shadows? Why, the very subject of my affections!"

"And what does this dark, mysterious figure do?" Severus asked with a smirk.

Harry mirrored the expression and said, "Well, first he berates me for being up there after curfew, and of course, me being so meek and mild – "

Severus snorted loudly and Harry glared at him with feigned affront. "As I was saying, with me being so meek and mild, I simply stand there and let the man of my dreams tear into me until he suddenly notices that I seem…sad, that there's something behind my eyes that he's never seen before."

"You've been reading far too many romance novels," Severus said, and Harry pursed his lips tightly.

"Look, if you're going to keep interrupting my Astronomy Tower fantasy I'll just stop telling it and you'll never get to play it out."

"Oh that's where this is going is it? You want to take me up there and indulge in this little fantasy?"

"It worked well enough last night, didn't it?" Harry asked with a wicked glint in his eye. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, my dream man notices that I'm not my usual self and he suddenly softens. He asks me what's wrong but I won't tell him. He moves closer and tilts my chin up so I'm forced to look at him and asks me again. Being this close to him is too much for me and I can't help myself, I lean forward for a kiss."

Severus' expression had softened now and he was watching Harry with a gentle smile. "I'm sure I'll be pushed away," Harry continued, "I'm sure I'm making a prize fool of myself but suddenly I feel his arms come up to encircle me and he's leaning down to meet me in the most amazing kiss I've ever had."

"What happens next?" Severus asked, holding Harry gently in his arms, just as the man's fantasy version of himself had done.

"He whispers that he knows what's bothering me as he holds me, that it's the same thing that's been bothering him. He whispers that we can't do anything while I'm still student, that we can't compromise ourselves like that. I tell him that I know, that I can wait for him if he'll still want me in a few more months when I graduate. He tells me that he's wanted me for a long time, that he can stand to wait a little longer."

"I notice that this fantasy doesn't end with you pressed against the wall while I fuck you senseless."

Harry grinned wickedly and said, "That's the difference between fantasies and reality. I guarantee to that when we go up there later that's exactly how it will end."

"You'd better," Severus said darkly and Harry took a step back with obvious reluctance.

"You'll have to wait a little longer, I have a speech to make first."

Severus sighed and said, "Very well. I suppose I've sat through worse in the past."

He reached for Harry's hand and Harry looked up at him in surprise, saying, "You want to go into the Great Hall like this?"

It was probably as much of a surprise to him as it was to Harry, but Severus was now a different man to the Potions Master who had once roamed these halls. That man had been desperately unhappy, burdened with the mistakes of his past with no light in his life to break through the darkness.

The man he now was, despite all he had been through, had something that his past self had never had – hope. With Harry in his life anything seemed possible, and he didn't care anymore about what people might think of him.

"I'm going to marry you, my love," he said, loving the glow that spread across Harry's face at his words, "walking into the Hall in front of my former colleagues and students hand-in-hand with you is the tamest of things I can do."

"Planning on shagging me up at the head table?" Harry asked as they moved off down the corridor together.

"There's a lovely thought," Severus murmured as they neared the Hall.

The doors were open and conversation and laughter drifted out towards them. The noise stirred up memories in both men and Severus could remember the many years he had spent up at the head table cursing his very existence. He had never imagined that he would one day come back to this place, nor that Harry would be with him when he did.

They paused on the threshold for a moment or two then slowly made their way past the benches up to the head table, a hush slowly descending as they walked. Two places had been saved next to McGonagall and Severus and Harry took their seats, nodding politely at the other staff members as they did so. Everyone, it seemed, had taken note of the way they had entered with their hands entwined and the staff and students alike were looking at them with wide-eyed wonder.

McGonagall waited for a few moments while the whispers began to circulate, each table abuzz. It was so odd to see only three tables in the Hall, to see only three house colours on the robes that the students wore. Severus cast his eye over the remaining tables and recognised many of his former Slytherins, those who had been there before his incarceration. They were all looking at him with curiosity and calculation, no doubt wondering what their former head of house was doing with the Boy Who Lived.

"If I could please have your attention," McGonagall said, rising to her feet, the noise dying down slightly. "As you can all see, we have guests with us this evening. I'm sure they need no introduction, but I'd like you all to extend a welcome to Severus Snape and Harry Potter."

There was a smattering of applause, the students still obviously confused about what was happening. McGonagall cleared her throat and continued, "Mr Potter would like to address you all about a matter that has affected us all over the past couple of years, a matter that many of us would like to see an end to. I ask you all to give him your attention and listen to what he has to say."

Harry rose to his feet, smiling at McGonagall as he did so. He cast a quick amplification charm on his voice and faced the assembled students with his most charming expression. He was well-versed in addressing the public now, and as Severus watched him, he saw none of the awkward boy Harry had once been. When he looked at Harry now, all he saw was a man who had faced more than anyone should have had to in one lifetime, all he saw was the man he loved.

"Students and professors," Harry began, his manner exuding confidence, "it gives me great pleasure to have the opportunity to stand here with you all today, though I might wish it were under better circumstances." He paused and looked from one table to another. "It saddens me deeply to see only three house tables in the Great Hall this evening, and I am deeply sorry for those of you have been displaced from your former house.

"I'm sure there are those of you who are surprised to hear me say this. You must be thinking that as someone involved in the fight against Voldemort I would welcome the action against Slytherins. I'm telling you now – I condemn it wholeheartedly. Many of you may not know this, but the person who betrayed my parents when I was a baby was a Gryffindor. This man then went on to ensure Voldemort's second rise to power and served as his loyal and faithful servant almost to the very end. Conversely," Harry said, smiling across at Severus, "one of the bravest and best men I have ever known is a Slytherin."

Severus felt a warmth settle in his chest at Harry's words, and he couldn't help but wonder if he truly deserved them.

"Professor Snape risked his life countless times to spy for Professor Dumbledore and those who were fighting against Voldemort. He saved my life more times than I can possibly say and he nearly died trying to protect our world. It will be the greatest honour of my life when I become his husband at the end of this year."

Loud whispers circulated, some sounding scandalised, others sounding thrilled. Harry took the opportunity to let his words sink in, knowing the effect they would have on people. Severus watched as the man scanned the crowd, his beautiful green eyes taking in the reactions of all those assembled. He had obviously decided to go for sincerity over drama, and Severus agreed with his choice. Teenagers, for all he had bemoaned them when he had been a teacher, weren't stupid, and they were often not as easily manipulated as adults.

Harry cleared his throat and continued, "It sounds a trite thing to say, and I hope you'll forgive me if I border on the sentimental, but people can't be defined simply by the house they're placed in. There's the capability for good and bad in all of us and that can't be determined by the colour of the house robes you wear. I was nearly sorted into Slytherin, but thanks to a couple of prejudices I picked up before I'd even got through the castle doors, I begged the sorting hat not to put me there.

"I'll never know if that was the right decision or not, but I can say this – there have been incredible witches and wizards that have come from Slytherin, just as the other three houses have produced their share of liars, cheats, thieves and criminals. I urge you all not to let yourselves be blinded by prejudices and preconceived notions that are as false as they are dangerous.

"You are the next generation that will go out into the wizarding world and all of you have the responsibility to shape it and improve it. The people you will become and the things you will do…those things start here and if you can find a way to band together, to forget all the nonsense and the rhetoric, then you'll have achieved more than our Ministry as ever been able to.

"For the next few days, Professor Snape and I will be staying in the castle. If you have any questions or anything you'd like to come and talk to us about, please feel free. We want to help as much as we can, and we'd like your help to do that. It seems unlikely, be we _can_ affect change, you can be the starting point for making this a better and safer world."

* * *

Harry and Severus ended up staying for a whole week. They were flooded with students who came at all hours of the day to come and talk to them. The former Slytherins were only too happy to see their old head of house and they came to ask him for advice on how to cope now it no longer existed.

There were also many students, from all the houses, who had family that were either still in Azkaban or had been freed with Harry and the foundation's help. They wanted to come and talk to him about their prospects, about what they could do to help. Some people's situations were utterly desperate and Harry's heart went out to those whose parents had been incarcerated and were left as wards of the Ministry.

It had bothered them both that they had also encountered hostility during their time there. There was nothing outright of course, no one would have been that stupid, but from the looks and angry whispers that occasionally followed him it was obvious that there were those that thought the Slytherins had got exactly what they deserved.

Harry told Severus that there was a level of futility in trying to argue with those people. There were some that believed only Slytherins had followed Voldemort, that the entire house had been his followers, regardless of the fact that many Slytherins had fought in the final battle. Some people were simply lost causes, but, he argued, if he could do his best to change the mindset of the majority, then that was the important thing.

It was strange for both of them to be back at Hogwarts after so long, stranger still to occupy Severus' old quarters. Harry had been right; there were ghosts that needed putting to rest and Severus did his best to try and do that.

He replayed so many conversations with Albus that he had had over the years, the many things they had fought over, the differences of opinion they had had. His feelings towards the man were still complicated, as he knew Harry's were, but Harry didn't carry the guilt that Severus did. Killing Albus had been the hardest thing he had ever done and although it had been done at the man's behest, he would never forgive himself for it.

Their time spent back at Hogwarts was not all fraught and serious. They took full advantage of the setting to enact several fantasies that Harry dreamt up and Severus was thrilled at the turn Harry's sexual preferences had taken. His favourite had to be when Harry had come to him as a student, confessing his dark and lustful thoughts, begging Severus to do something about them. Harry had ended up tied to the bed while Severus tormented him into a new world of pleasure.

"You know, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to walk tomorrow," Harry said with a contented groan as he nuzzled Severus' jaw, both of them settling down on their last night at the castle after a particularly energetic session.

"You're a young man, you can take it," Severus told him certainly, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close.

"I always wondered you know…what I was missing out on," Harry said, and Severus could feel the man's smile against his skin. "But I never thought it could be like this."

"It usually isn't," Severus said softly. "At least, it's never been so for me."

"Did you…had you slept with a lot of people before me?" Harry asked, not looking up to meet Severus' eyes as he would normally have done when asking a question.

"A few," Severus replied, "but I've never experienced the things I have with you. Hardly surprising I suppose, I've never been in love before."

Harry tilted his head upwards and said, "Really?"

"Surely you know that?" Severus asked.

"I…I don't know. I suppose I never assumed anything," Harry said, looking thoughtful. "What made you fall in love with me?" he asked eventually.

"I'm not sure I can answer that question," Severus said honestly. "It's too complicated a thing to consider. I can say all the things I love about you – your kindness, your honesty, your ferocity, your passion. Falling in love you…was more of a steady descent into madness," he said with a smirk and Harry laughed.

"You were a very different person to the boy I had known," Severus said softly. "It took a long time to reconcile myself to the changes in you and when I did…I realised that I was starting to have feelings for the man you had become. It was terrifying."

"I can imagine. Think how I felt when I realised I was in love with you."

"It still seems highly improbably that you are," Severus replied, shaking his head slightly.

Harry nestled in a little closer and whispered softly, "Get used to it. I will be for the rest of my life."

Severus was about to respond when there was a loud knock on the door that led to his quarters. They both sighed, but Harry reached for his dressing gown and said, "It's ok, I'll go. You need more time to recover, old man."

He was out of Severus' reach too quickly for Severus to land the smack on his backside that he aimed his way. Rolling his eyes, Severus lay back against the pillows, hating to concede that perhaps Harry had a point. He was no spring chicken.

He heard Harry have a brief conversation with someone then moments later the man walked back into their room, a letter in his hands.

"News?" Severus asked, his curiosity turning to concern as he saw the look on Harry's face while he read the letter's contents. "Harry, what is it?" he asked, watching as the colour drained from the man's face.

Harry walked shakily over to the bed and sat down on the edge, staring down at the letter for a moment before slowly looking up at Severus. "It's Andromeda," he whispered. "She's dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my lovely readers, I'm back off holiday and now have post-holiday blues. If you could leave me some comments, I'm sure that would cheer me right up ; )


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Here," Severus said as he pressed a glass of brandy into Harry's hands.

"Thanks," Harry said, accepting it with a wan smile. "It still feels so unreal," he murmured, his face pale.

They were back home, having left Hogwarts as soon as the news about Andromeda had reached them. Teddy had been taken to the Burrow when Andromeda had been rushed to St Mungo's, and they had gone to pick him up the second they returned.

He was now fast asleep upstairs in his bedroom, unaware that he had lost his grandmother, that life as he knew it was about to change. Andromeda had had a heart condition, one that she hadn't told anyone about. Severus had known something wasn't right with the woman's health and while her passing was a shock, he couldn't exactly say it was a surprise.

He wondered why she hadn't told anyone, why she had never told Harry that her death was a possibility. It was easy to bury your head in the sand, he supposed. Perhaps she had hoped that if she didn't confide in anyone that the worst would never come to pass.

"I don't know how to process this," Harry said quietly, looking down into his glass. "How do you explain to a 3-year-old that he'll never see his grandmother again?"

"We'll tell him together tomorrow," Severus said, just as daunted by the prospect as Harry. He felt as though he himself was only just coming to terms with death and its consequences, he had no idea how to explain that to a child.

"Everything's about to change for him," Harry said with an unhappy sigh. "Maybe…maybe he won't want to live with us."

"You know that's unlikely," Severus said gently. "He loves it here, it's been his second home for a while now."

"Maybe I'm the one that needs convincing," Harry said, the lines of his face taut with worry. "He's…he's ours now. This is it, _we're_ it. We're responsible for him, we're his parents. I…I don't know if I'm ready."

"It's natural to feel that way," Severus said, reaching out and taking hold of Harry's hand, "but neither of us has the luxury of second-guessing ourselves. As you say, we're responsible for Teddy now and we have to be there for him. You're ready, you know you are."

Harry shook his head tiredly, his eyes red-rimmed. "Can I really be his father? Am I going to be good enough for him?"

"Of course you are," Severus said, moving closer and wrapping his arm around the man. "He adores you. You're not in this alone, we'll do it together."

Harry let out a long, slow breath and put his head in his hands. "In the space of 24 hours we've suddenly become parents. It's…too much to take in. I don't know what I'm doing…I don't know how to do this."

"We'll figure it out together," Severus said, trying to soothe Harry's fractious nerves. He knew Harry loved Teddy, he knew that he'd be able to give the little boy everything that he needed, but he knew where Harry's insecurities came from. He himself was hardly convinced that he'd be a good father, but he loved Teddy enough to try.

"I know where all this is coming from, Harry," he said carefully. "I feel the same way. Neither of us had good childhoods, neither of us had good examples of parents, but that doesn't mean we can't be good parents ourselves. We were only just talking about having children. Have you changed your mind?"

"No, of course not," Harry said, raising his head, his eyes watery. "It's just…I thought we'd have a little more time. I want a family, more than anything in the world, but I'm only 20-years-old. I thought I'd have more time to figure out who I am before I became a dad."

Severus held Harry close and rested his chin on the black mop of hair. "I wish you'd been given more autonomy over your own life," he said softly, feeling Harry relax a little in his arms. "Now though, this is about Teddy. You have everything you need to be a good father to him and although this isn't the way we would have chosen to do things, we're a family now. We have to put our own feelings aside and focus on Teddy."

He felt Harry nod against his chest and he placed a kiss to the man's head. "It'll be alright, I promise."

Neither of them got much sleep that night. Severus held Harry through the night, but both of them only managed to snatch fragments of sleep. Severus lay awake staring up at the ceiling, feeling the comforting weight of Harry's body resting on his chest.

He had the same reservations that Harry did and they were troubling him more than he cared to admit. His own childhood had been wretched and he had proved time and time again that he could make children hate him. This was different though. He could honestly say that he loved Teddy, and he knew the little boy held him in high regard.

It was also true that he wanted a family with Harry, but, like Harry, he had thought they would have a little more time together as a couple before that came to pass. He could still picture that little girl with dark hair and bright green eyes, only now she would be joined by a sandy-haired brother. It was a terrifying prospect and a nasty voice in the back of his mind told him that he would never be able to measure up.

Children had never been part of his vision for the future. Indeed, he hadn't ever planned to live past 40. Now here he was, poised to marry Harry Potter in five months' time with a 3-year-old child that was theirs permanently. He was apprehensive and worried, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to do his best to do right by Teddy.

They both woke the following morning barely rested, still preoccupied with the strange turn their life together had taken. Severus dealt with Teddy while Harry set about making a mountain of pancakes, his was of easing the way for what they had to tell the little boy.

After Teddy had eaten his bodyweight in pancakes, all slathered with so much syrup that the very thought of it make Severus' teeth ache, they moved into the living room and sat Teddy down on the sofa. They had agreed that Harry would do the lion's share of the explaining, but that Severus would be on hand if he found it all too difficult.

"Teddy," Harry began, and Severus could hear the slight hitch in the man's breathing. "There's something that we have to tell you." He paused and took a deep breath while Teddy looked up him, his intelligent eyes focused. "Nana…Nana had a poorly heart. She went to the hospital and the doctors did everything they could to help her…but they weren't able to."

Teddy frowned up at him and Harry reached for Severus' hand, holding it tightly in his lap. "Nana won't be coming back, sweetheart. Uncle Severus and I are going to look after you from now on."

"I'll live here, with you?" Teddy asked, clearly confused.

"That's right, love," Harry said with a nod. "You know that Nana loved you more than anything else in the world, but she just couldn't stay with us anymore."

Harry reached over and picked Teddy up, settling him gently between himself and Severus. "I know you're going to miss her so much, and so will I, but Uncle Severus and I promise that we will always be here to look after you."

Severus placed his arm around Harry's shoulders, wrapping him and Teddy up in a warm embrace. The little boy looked from Harry to him, his expression serious and thoughtful.

"I won't see Nana again?" he asked.

"No sweetheart, I'm sorry," Harry said, a catch in his voice. "But you have to know how much she loved you and how much we love you too."

Teddy looked down at his knees for a moment, frowning. Many things were obviously going through his little mind and Severus couldn't begin to fathom what the little boy was thinking.

"Can I go and play outside?" he asked eventually.

Harry blinked a couple of times, clearly nonplussed. "Um…yes of course you can. Stay away from the stream, one of us will be out in a minute."

Teddy looked at them both for a moment then hopped off the sofa and headed outside. Harry watched him go, then turned back to Severus with a frown.

"Is he ok? He…didn't seem all that bothered," Harry said, perturbed.

"He's probably in shock. Children…children have a different way of processing loss than we do. He most likely won't understand properly until he realises that Andromeda is gone forever."

Harry nodded. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make this better for him."

"We'll just do what we always do when we have him," Severus said, pulling Harry close. "We have to keep things as normal as we can for him. We'll take him to the playschool in Hogsmeade tomorrow, just like Andromeda would have done. He needs his routine now."

Harry sighed and nestled into Severus' hold. "I hate this. I hate that his world's just turned upside down."

"I know," Severus said softly, resting his chin gently on Harry's head. "We'll get through it. It'll just take time."

For the next two weeks they did as Severus suggested and tried to keep things as normal as possibly for Teddy. He went to his playgroup three times a week, just as he would have done if he'd been with Andromeda, his bedtime was kept the same and he still negotiated bathing terms.

Severus and Harry took turns putting him to bed, reading him a chapter from Grimm's Fairytales each time. He seemed to be sleeping soundly and hadn't caused any fusses. It seemed like all the other times they had had him in the past.

It wasn't until one night, the week before Harry's birthday, that Severus realised things weren't quite as they seemed. He awoke in the small hours of the morning, a particularly bizarre dream involving Dumbledore and a carousel having woken him up. He lay blinking up at the ceiling for a moment or two, trying to clear his thoughts enough to return to sleep when he heard a faint noise coming from across the hallway.

He listened more carefully and realised that it sounded like Teddy crying. He carefully eased himself out from underneath Harry's sleeping form and made his way out of bed and across the hall. He paused outside Teddy's door, looking around the doorframe to see the little boy sitting up in bed, his legs pulled up to his chest, crying gently into his knees.

Severus felt his heart tighten. He didn't know whether Andromeda's loss had only just hit Teddy or if the boy had been being stoic about it up until now, but it was clear that his grief had overtaken him. Severus entered the room quietly and sat on the bed, scooping Teddy up into his arms and holding him tightly.

"Ssh," he soothed gently as Teddy sobbed against his chest. "It's alright."

He had had little enough experience in comforting children, and he had never faced the grief of such a young child in the face of such loss. He didn't know what to say or do for the best, but he knew that he would have given anything to stop the painful sounds of Teddy's heart-breaking crying.

"I miss her," Teddy said, his voice muffled by Severus' pyjama shirt.

"I know you do," Severus said softly. "You always will, but you can see her any time you want to."

"What do you mean?" Teddy asked, pulling back slightly to look up at Severus with tear-filled eyes.

Severus paused for a moment, considering his words. The last thing he wanted was to confuse or upset Teddy further. "All you have to do his close your eyes. Think about what Nana looked like, what she sounded like. Think about the smell of her perfume and the jewellery she wore. Now imagine she's talking to you, what would she say?"

Teddy sniffed and closed his eyes. Severus waited for him to bring Andromeda to mind and eventually the little boy said, "She'd say that she loves me. She'd tell me to be good, she'd tell me stories."

"That's good," Severus said encouragingly. "You see, anytime you miss her, you just have to close your eyes and think about her. She'll always be with you."

"But I'll never see her again, not properly," Teddy said with a plaintive little sniff.

"I promise that we'll make sure you never forget her. We'll keep her memory alive," Severus said gently as Teddy buried himself back into his hold. "Do you want to come and sleep in with us for the rest of the night?"

Teddy nodded against his chest and Severus picked him up, carrying him into his and Harry's bedroom. Harry stirred as the bed dipped and blinked his eyes open sleepily. He smiled up them and scooted along a bit to make room.

"Can't sleep, sweetheart?" he asked as Teddy snuggled up to him.

"Miss Nana," Teddy said, and Harry met Severus' eyes as Severus climbed into bed.

He wrapped Teddy and Harry up in his arms and all three of them settled comfortably together. Teddy was already asleep, his thumb wedged in his mouth while he cuddled up to the warmth and safety of Harry and Severus' bodies.

"Love you," Harry murmured, laying his head on Severus' shoulder, unable to stay awake any longer.

"Love you too," Severus whispered back, pressing a kiss to Harry's head. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again so easily, but he was content enough to lie back against the pillows with Harry and Teddy snuggled against him.

This was never how he thought his life would turn out. He had lain awake so many nights in his cell in Azkaban, praying for release. He had been so broken, so devoid of hope that he had never dared to consider a future beyond the four walls of his cell.

He had believed himself so damaged that he would never be able to live a full life again, that perhaps he had never known what it was to live a full live in the first place. Perhaps he had always been a damaged human but being robbed of his humanity simply brought it more sharply to the surface.

Surely a man such as him with the stains that blighted his past would never be able to find happiness? Yet here he was. Of course, never in his wildest dreams would he have said that happiness would come in the form of the previous bane of his existence and a 3-year-old child, but then who on earth _would_ have guessed that?

He listened to Harry's soft breathing and to Teddy's gentle snuffling, allowing a small smile to settle on his lips. He knew that there would be tough times ahead and that Teddy would need help processing his grief, but this was his family now and he was prepared to do whatever was needed.

* * *

Harry's birthday was a clear and sunny day. Molly and Arthur threw him a party at the Burrow and Harry's nearest and dearest were in attendance. He and Severus had thought long and hard about whether it was appropriate to have a celebration in the wake of Andromeda's loss, but they had agreed to carry on as normal for Teddy's sake.

Teddy loved being surrounded by the whole family and seeing him interact with them all convinced Harry and Severus that they had made the right decision. He had been subdued since the night Severus had found him crying and he and Harry had done their best to try and cheer him up.

As Teddy played with Victoire, let himself be entertained by Charlie, Ron and Draco, and indulged in treats made by Molly, Severus saw the little boy brighten. It was difficult to know what to do for the best in such a circumstance; grief was a hard thing at the best of times, let alone when it was being felt by such a young child.

All Severus and Harry were sure of was that they needed to give Teddy as much love and affection as possible, giving him support where it was needed. He had slept in their bed every night for a week, curled up between them sleeping soundly. It wasn't an arrangement that could go on indefinitely, but it could provide comfort for Teddy for a little while.

"I can't believe in a little over four months you and Harry are going to be married," said George as he sat beside Severus at one of the little garden tables littered about the place. "I'm already working on my speech," he added with a grin.

"Do you really think I'll let you deliver anything that I haven't pre-approved?" Severus said, eyeing the man over his glass of wine.

"Spoilsport."

There was still an underlying hint of sadness about George, an aura that hung to him like a cloak, but he had established a routine for himself that had improved his health. He was sleeping better and exercising more, and Severus knew that the man was trying to open up more to his family. No one knew better than George that he would never really be whole again, but he was trying to find a way to live with that.

"Ah would you look at that, Nev with that absolute stunner!" George said as he watched Neville join Harry and Hermione, his arm gently resting around Haizea's waist.

Severus wasn't sure he would have referred to Haizea as a 'stunner', but her health had improved greatly and she had benefitted from working with potions again. Severus enjoyed working with her. She was competent and able to manage herself effectively, and she had a sharp mind that picked things up quickly.

She and Neville had been on several dates and things seemed to be going well between them. Severus was glad for them. He found himself growing ever fonder of Neville, as bizarre as the notion was, and the man was well-matched to Haizea's quiet and sensitive nature.

She had no family left, and the few friends she had once had had deserted her during her incarceration. It had been good for her to spend time with people again, and Molly had taken it upon herself to take her under her wing.

It always amazed Severus that with six of her own children to look after Molly could show such remarkable capacity to love other people's. He knew that but for her Harry would never know what a mother's love could be like and that the man would be forever grateful for that. Molly had been kind and patient with Haizea, careful not to be overbearing, and had welcomed her into the Weasley fold with open arms.

"They look good together, don't they?" George said with a smile, propping his feet up on the table.

"They're well-suited," Severus agreed. "It's a good match."

"One that you set up." George grinned at him and Severus rolled his eyes, doing his best to ignore the man as he continued, "You could always have a side-line in match-making, you know, if you get bored with Potions."

"You're beginning to witter," Severus drawled. "I shan't let you be my best man if this is the sort of mental prowess you possess."

"Oh I love it when you try to sound like your old self. It's hilarious."

Severus glared at him, which only served to widen George's grin. He supposed he couldn't argue. He could barely remember his 'old self', that man seemed another world away and he couldn't deny that he was glad of it. That man was a damaged soul, unhappy, bitter and twisted. He had no desire to resurrect the spectre that belonged in the past.

"I have a proposition to run past you, if you'd care to hear it," George said, stretching his arms above his head and making himself more comfortable.

"Hearing you say that makes my blood run cold," Severus said with a raised eyebrow.

George laughed and said, "In most cases it should, but this is a good one, I promise."

"Go on then," Severus said, sipping his wine and enjoying the feel of the sun against his skin.

"When you sell Spinner's End, how would you like to use a fraction of the money to buy into Wheezes?" George asked, folding his hands in his lap, suddenly appearing very business-like.

"You want me to invest in the business?" Severus asked.

"I know you have your hands full with brewing for the Ministry and for Maggie, so it can be a silent partnership if you like, just like Harry. I need fresh capital to develop new ideas I have in the pipeline, ideas that I hope you'll help with," George added with a smile. "The investment will provide you with a stipend if you so choose, or I can give you a lump sum after each AGM, depending on capital appreciation."

Severus paused, considering the offer. His new salary from the Ministry was more than enough to make life very comfortable, but to have a little something extra wouldn't go amiss. Now that he knew he had a future worth planning for, he wanted to ensure that it was as good as it could be. He wanted to be able to provide for Teddy and anyone else who might come along, and Wheezes was as good an investment as he could think of.

"Very well," he said with a nod. "Let me see what I'm left with when the sale of the house goes through and we can see where we stand."

"Sounds good. Now, I think I might go and take Teddy up for a broom ride," he said, getting to his feet and clapping Severus on the shoulder before heading off down the garden.

Severus watched with a smile as George ran to where Teddy was sitting with Ron and Draco, swooping down and hauling the little boy onto his shoulders. Teddy giggled and grabbed clumps of George's red hair as though they were reins while they skipped off to the broom shed.

His glass empty, Severus went inside to seek a refill. He was considering his options when he felt a pair of arms slide around his waist. He felt Harry lean in and nuzzle the base of his neck and he leant back into the caress.

"Hard to catch a moment alone here," Harry whispered and Severus turned around, pulling Harry close to him.

"And how's the birthday boy enjoying his party?" Severus asked.

"Very well, thank you. I'm just lamenting the fact that I haven't managed to get a birthday shag yet," Harry said with a grin. "Not that there's been much of that going on at all for the last couple of weeks with a 3-year-old sharing our bed."

"It won't last forever," Severus said, running a hand up and down Harry's back, feeling the delicious quiver of muscle beneath his palm. "Teddy just needs a little extra comfort for now. Our sex life won't suffer terminally."

Harry pouted a little and looked up at Severus, saying, "I still miss you though."

"I know," Severus murmured, lowering his lips to meet Harry's. It had indeed been a struggle not to have been able to indulge themselves, but soon they would be able to find a way to accommodate their needs with Teddy in the house.

It wasn't new to them, as they were used to Teddy staying with them, but they were also used to having the house to themselves when Teddy had returned home. It wasn't an insurmountable issue, but it did mean that they couldn't be as spontaneous or as uninhibited as they were used to.

They had toyed with the idea of asking Molly to have him for the night, but he had suffered enough turmoil over the past few weeks. The last thing they wanted was for Teddy to feel unwanted, as though he was being passed from pillar to post like nothing more than an inconvenience.

Harry's arms wound around Severus' neck as the kiss deepened and Severus found himself lost in the man once again. He couldn't believe there had once been a time when he hadn't loved Harry, when he hadn't seen the depth and complexity of the man's character.

"Put him down, there are children present," came Ron's voice as he entered the kitchen.

Severus, in no hurry, broke the kiss languidly. "Problem, Mr Weasley?" he said, pulling Harry against his chest and looking at Ron over the top of Harry's head.

"Just can't cope with sickening displays of affection," Ron said with a grin.

"You indulge in enough yourself," Harry replied, and, as though to prove a point, Draco tucked himself into Ron's side and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"We were wondering if you'd let us take Teddy for the night," the blond said, looking across at them both. "Ron mentioned something about building a fort earlier and Teddy hasn't been able to get it out his head. He asked if he could come and stay with us. He wants to come and see the horses in the field opposite too."

Severus and Harry exchanged a look, Harry saying, "If he wants to go then sure. You don't mind?"

"Of course not," said Ron, turning his head as Teddy came tumbling into the kitchen, George close behind. "You still want to come and stay with us, Tedster?"

"Can I?" Teddy asked Harry and Severus as George hoisted him back up onto his shoulders.

"If you want to go, sweetheart," Harry said, but Severus could tell that he wasn't sure about letting him go.

"Uncle Ron said we could build a fort and sleep in it. He said we could ride horses too."

"I said we could _see_ the horses," Ron said with a laugh, "not that we could ride them."

Teddy paused for a moment, considering his position, then said, "We'll see."

Severus and Harry both laughed, used to Teddy's negotiating skills. "We'll miss you," Harry said, and Severus knew he meant it. It would be strange to be without Teddy, even for a night, and replacement parents though they may be, Teddy really felt like theirs.

"You'll be good for Uncle Ron and Uncle Draco, won't you?" Severus asked.

Teddy nodded and said, "And Uncle George, he's coming too."

George grinned, looking younger and more unburdened than he had done in a long time. "I figure me and Ted can double-team these two, keep them on their toes. Besides, I _love_ building forts."

The party went on until early evening. Teddy had a nap mid-afternoon in preparation for his evening at Ron and Draco's and woke with renewed vigour. Severus and Harry spent time with Hermione and Blaise, who, it seemed, were working their way towards a relationship that surpassed their professional one.

The attraction between them was very obvious, though both were reticent when it came to such matters. George had whispered in Severus' ear that they could benefit from his match-making abilities, a remark that had earnt the man a withering glare.

Maggie turned up around 4 o'clock, and Severus noted the look in George's eye when she arrived. For all that the man had said there was no chance of romantic involvement for him, Severus hadn't missed the way George's eyes followed Maggie wherever she went. He couldn't blame him, Maggie was striking. She had long black hair that flowed down her back and clear blue eyes that never missed a thing.

Severus had liked Maggie from the first time he met her. She was sharp, intelligent and witty, not to mention an incredibly skilled Healer. She was fiery and passionate and Severus could only imagine that to be on the wrong end of her temper would be a frightening thing indeed. She and George enjoyed sniping at one another and often indulged in games of one-upmanship where insults were concerned.

Severus couldn't imagine either person to be given to sentimentality or romance. Maggie and George, despite their outward personas, were both practical, hard-working and all-too aware of the trappings of life. Their intelligence and ingenuity were their strengths and Severus knew that they would challenge one another whilst providing a level of support that others couldn't. Perhaps he should turn his hand to match-making after all. There was a horrifying thought.

After all the birthday presents were opened and the cake was cut, Severus and Harry finally decided to venture home. Harry was reluctant to leave Teddy, but the little boy had his heart set on going with Ron and Draco.

"He'll be fine," Severus said soothingly as Harry stood in the living room, looking balefully at the fireplace as though expecting Ron to bring Teddy back at any moment.

"We've only had him with us a few weeks and already we're palming him off on other people," Harry said with a sigh.

"It's not like that and you know it. He asked to go, he wanted to spend the night with them," Severus reasoned.

"We used to be the place he came to for fun and to stay away from home. Now we're the boring parents and he goes to other people's homes to get away from us," Harry said, dropping down onto the sofa with a grunt.

"I think you're being a tad dramatic, love," Severus said, rolling his eyes and heading into the kitchen to put the kettle on. "Wait until he's a teenager and then he really does want to get away from us."

"That's not funny," Harry replied sulkily, joining him in the kitchen, leaning against the table with his arms folded. "I just…I just want him to be happy here."

"You know he is," Severus replied, unable to stop himself from thinking that Harry looked like an adorably cross puppy as he stood in front of him. "This is a difficult time for him, and while it's important that we don't give him everything he wants, it's perfectly reasonable to let him go and stay with other members of the family if he wants to."

"Family," Harry said with a little sigh. "That's what we all are, isn't it? I was thinking about it sitting in the garden today, watching everyone. Hearing Teddy call people 'Uncle' and 'Auntie', the sense of belonging I feel whenever I'm with all the Weasleys, the way they all love you…it makes me happy. I want that for Teddy."

"That's what he'll have," Severus said, placing his hands on Harry's waist. "We'll make sure of it. He'll have everything we never had and more. He's surrounded by people who love him. That's the important thing."

Harry nodded with a smile and Severus turned his attention back to the kettle as it started to whistle. He began ordering the tea things, hearing Harry rustle through the papers on the kitchen table.

"Ooh, a birthday card I must have missed," he heard Harry say.

Severus filled the teapot and gave the leaves a good stir before replacing the lid and letting it stew. "Who's it from?" he asked, turning back to face Harry, who was frowning down at the letter in his hand.

"Oh…um no one," he said, scrunching it up in his fist. "Just…junk mail."

Severus' eyes narrowed, able to discern a lie when he saw one. "Harry, what is it?"

"Nothing, just junk like I said."

He went to throw the letter in the bin, but Severus summoned it with a quick flick of his wand, Harry spinning around to face him. "Severus, it's nothing," Harry insisted, but the slight hitch in his voice told otherwise.

Severus unfolded the scrunched paper, hearing Harry give a resigned sigh as he did so. The colour of the writing caught his attention first – blood red and thick, sticky ink. The words were scratchy, poorly-formed but with a hideous impact. 'Happy Birthday to the traitor who sides with murderers. Hopefully you had a good day, it'll be the last birthday you get to celebrate.'

He looked back up at Harry, who looked as though he was bracing himself for a fight. "I thought these had stopped coming," he said, feeling his pulse hum uncomfortably.

"It's just nonsense," Harry said, shaking his head dismissively.

"Harry, a threat to your life isn't nonsense."

"People are upset and angry, people who don't understand the situation, who lost loved ones during the war. It's horrible, yes but I don't believe there's anything behind it."

"You can't take that risk. Harry, this isn't just about you anymore, we have Teddy to think of," Severus argued, feeling as though the paper in his hand was burning him.

"They're not going to hurt him."

"You don't know that! You don't know what these sorts of people are capable of, what they're planning. You have to start taking this seriously."

"I _am_ taking it seriously," Harry countered, his cheeks flushing, "but when you've got hundreds of these bloody things you have to learn to ignore them or they'll drive you crazy! When I first spoke out for you and started campaigning for your release I was getting twenty of these a day. If I'd have paid attention to every single one of them then I'd have ended up in the loony bin!"

"All it takes is one, Harry," Severus said, waving the balled up paper in his hand. "One person with enough of a cause, enough of a reason. You can't be this selfish anymore. I can't always look after you!"

Harry's face hardened and Severus knew he had said the wrong thing. "That's what you think? That I'm still a responsibility that's been foisted on you?"

"Harry, you know that's not what I – "

"No, that's what you said," Harry rebutted angrily. "This may come as news to you, Severus but I don't need you to look after me. I managed to keep myself alive all the time you were locked away and I'm damn sure I'll manage just fine now."

He headed for the door and stopped to say over his shoulder, "Don't you ever call me selfish again," before he stormed out. Severus heard him stomp up the stairs, shortly followed by the loud slam of the bedroom door.

Severus let out a heavy sigh, incinerating the paper in his hands with a vicious flick of his wand. It seemed as though he would be spending the night in his old bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was an interesting one to write as I've never had the sad duty of explaining death or loss to a child. It was difficult to find the right tone and to gauge what was appropriate for the situation, but I hope you all feel that I did it justice.
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought of the chapter.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Hi," said Severus, hovering in the doorway to the kitchen the following morning, watching as Harry stood stirring a pan of porridge on the stove.

"Hi," Harry replied mutedly, not looking up.

"That was not how I wanted yesterday to end," Severus said, moving further into the room.

"Not exactly how I pictured things either," Harry muttered, turning the heat off and transferring his porridge into a waiting bowl. He took a seat at the table and added a little honey to the porridge, stirring it before sticking a healthy spoonful in his mouth.

Severus sighed and took a seat opposite Harry, who seemed to be determined not to meet his eyes. He drummed his fingers on the table for a moment before saying, "Are we not going to speak about this?"

"I don't know what to say," Harry replied, his tone far too sulky for Severus' liking. "I'm a selfish idiot who constantly needs saving. What else is there to say?"

"You know full well that that isn't what I said," Severus said, feeling his irritation grow.

"Close enough," Harry returned sulkily, shovelling another heap of porridge into his mouth.

Severus took a deep breath, wishing to avoid another argument if possible. Harry could be so unbelievably stubborn and pig-headed at times, and when he was in a sulk precious little could pull him out of it.

"Are you really going to tell me that you don't think these threats should be taken seriously?" Severus asked, trying to keep his voice level.

"I'm telling you that I've dealt with them for a long time now. If you expect me to run around clutching my pearls to my chest in terror each time I get one then you'll be disappointed."

"There has to be something in between panic and apathy," Severus argued. "The people who have written these things truly mean them, even if they never act upon them. Surely that gives you a moment's pause?"

Harry sighed and let his spoon fall into the gooey porridge. "What would you have me do, Severus? Should I trace each one personally? Track the people down and haul them off to Azkaban?"

"Each one should be reported to the Ministry so they can investigate."

"I've already told you that they don't care. I'm a thorn in their side, a very public thorn. They don't want to do anything to help me."

"They're legally compelled to act," Severus countered, feeling more frustrated by Harry's attitude by the second.

"They're legally compelled to _appear_ to act," Harry shot back. "Believe me, they'll do fuck all and keep their fingers crossed that someone manages to take me out, put an end to their problems."

"Don't say that," Severus said through gritted teeth. "How can you be so flippant about this? Doesn't it matter to you that you could leave Teddy without a father? That you could leave me…" Severus trailed off, his palms suddenly prickling uncomfortably.

He stood up and moved to the kitchen sink, bracing himself on his hands and staring out of the window. The thought of losing Harry was too unbearable to contemplate, too terrifying a prospect.

He heard Harry's chair scrape across the floor and the man moved to stand next to him, leaning against the sink with his arms folded.

"I know you think I'm an idiot that can't take care of himself – "

"I never said that," Severus interrupted.

"I know I owe the fact that I'm alive to you, but some things I've managed on my own. I hate thinking that you see me as some kind of responsibility, some stupid kid that you have to look after. I thought we were equals," Harry said, his expression hard.

"We are, of course we are," Severus said, feeling a headache begin to brew behind his eyes. "You know I don't see you as a responsibility, I love you for heaven's sake!"

"Perhaps old habits are hard to break. You spent years keeping me safe, worrying about me, protecting me. Perhaps you'll never be able to shake those feelings."

"You can't expect me not to worry about you, not to want to keep you safe," Severus said heatedly. "Would you prefer it if I didn't care?"

"I'd prefer it if you started treating me like an adult."

"Start acting like one then," Severus shot back, before realising how ridiculous he sounded.

Harry shook his head and said, "I've had enough of this for one day. I have a meeting with Hermione, I'll see you later."

"This isn't going to go away," Severus called after him as he left the kitchen, but when he heard the pop of apparation he knew it was futile.

He sighed and resisted the urge to give the nearest cupboard a swift kick. He didn't know how Harry expected him to react. Surely any person whose loved one received death threats would be behaving the same way? He understood that Harry couldn't possibly react to every single one with worry and concern, but the man's flippant attitude bothered him.

He knew well enough how hostile people could be, how their anger could easily boil over given the right circumstances. Many people had lost a great deal during the war, and they blamed Slytherins for those losses. Harry's vocal and dogged campaigning put him firmly in their firing line, and now that he was going to marry Severus people would view him as even more of a traitor.

All it would take was for one person to really mean the threats that they sent. Merlin knew that these people felt they had enough of a reason, and Severus could understand the desire for vengeance.

He wouldn't cope if anything happened to Harry, he knew that. The man was his very reason for living, and while some would have argued that that wasn't healthy, it was just the way things were. Harry had given him hope, had released him from a life spent in hell and had shown him what a life filled with love could be like. He couldn't give that up now he knew what he had been missing all those years.

"Bloody man," Severus growled, deciding to head out to his potions lab and distract himself for a few hours.

Merlin knew how long Harry would be out for. Knowing him, he would stay away as long as possible. Neither he nor Harry were good at confronting their feelings and neither of them was particularly adept at working through issues. Harry would avoid him and the argument until he figured Severus was over it.

He spent the morning shut away in his potions lab, completing a few simple nutrition potions that Maggie had asked for. He worked through lunch, having no appetite to speak of. While the work provided him with something to do, the issue with Harry remained at the back of his mind throughout.

He was just finishing up decanting the potions into waiting vials when he heard George's voice calling from outside. He cleaned up and went out to find George waiting, Teddy perched upon his shoulders.

"Ron asked me to bring him back," George said as Severus joined them, reaching up to lift Teddy and place him gently on the ground.

"Were you well-behaved?" Severus asked, hoisting Teddy up onto his hip, realising just how much he'd missed the little boy.

"Uncle Ron said I was better than Uncle George," Teddy replied, fiddling with the buttons on Severus' shirt.

George grinned and said, "It's true, I was terribly badly-behaved. I like to keep Ron on his toes. It's all good practice for when he and Drake have their own."

"We built a fort," Teddy said with a smile, "and me and Uncle George slept in it all night."

" _You_ slept," George corrected. "As an old man, sleeping on the floor with a 3-year-old kicking me at regular intervals didn't make for a particularly restful night."

"Did you go and see the horses?" Severus asked and Teddy nodded with big smile.

"Uncle Ron said next time he'll ask the man if I can ride one of the little ones."

"Uncle Ron seems to be doing his best to become your favourite uncle," Severus said, exchanging a wry smile with George. "Come on in, I'll put the kettle on."

He let them in and settled Teddy in one of the large, squishy armchairs. The little boy had had a busy 24 hours and was obviously tired. He was happy to sit with Rufus and one of his colouring books while Severus and George sat at the kitchen table with a pot of tea and a plate of Molly's homemade shortbread biscuits.

"So are you going to tell me what the sour face is all about?" George asked, dunking his biscuit in his tea and guiding it to his mouth just before it was about fall to pieces.

"It's nothing," Severus said with a sigh.

"You know I'm the last person that will buy that," George said, licking the sugar from his fingers.

Severus paused and looked over his shoulder to make sure that Teddy was suitably immersed in his colouring, then said in a low voice, "Harry received another death threat yesterday."

"Shit, that's not good," George said, and Severus felt like throwing his hands up in vindication.

"That was my view. Harry didn't share it."

"Well…I suppose he's used to it by now. Won't stop you from worrying though."

"Exactly," Severus said, thinking that George was quite possibly his favourite Weasley. "When I told him that I thought it should be taken seriously he went off in a huff, saying that I was treating him like a child. I love him, surely it's normal to be worried?"

"Of course it is," George said reasonably. "You know how Harry is though. He has to prove he can do everything on his own." George poured himself another cup of tea and stirred in a drop of milk, saying, "Do you really think Harry's in danger?"

"I _always_ think Harry's in danger," Severus muttered, giving his tea an unnecessary stir. "He thinks I see him as a responsibility, that I think he can't look after himself. How am I supposed to react to this?" Severus asked, truly wishing for an answer.

George sighed and leant back in his chair. "You can't push Harry, you should know that. He's a stubborn little sod with an independent streak a mile long. We all forget but Harry was without love for the first eleven years of his life. He never had anyone looking out for him, worrying about him. That kind of thing takes a long time to get used you. You should understand that more than most," George added gently.

"I can't sit by and watch while people threaten his life. I spent half my life protecting him, even when I thought of him as nothing more than an irritant. I can't just switch off those instincts."

"And I'm not saying that you have to, just that you need to find a different way to get through to Harry."

Severus spent the rest of the day distracting himself. He took Teddy for a stroll then set about making a batch of Pepper Up for Maggie with Teddy as his assistant. Severus was beginning to think that Teddy showed a natural aptitude for potions and, as he had never had the opportunity to nurture the ability in someone so young, he intended to encourage Teddy's skill.

He could easily admit these days that he had never felt the kind of affection that he felt for Teddy. The little boy stirred a sense of paternal love in him that he had never even imagined he possessed. He felt protective of him and wanted nothing more than to ensure that nothing ever blighted Teddy's happiness.

Teddy was an affectionate child and would clamber up onto Severus' lap or would snuggle into Severus' hold whenever he felt like it. It had initially been very alien to Severus to experience such tactile behaviour, especially in such a wholly innocent and pure way, but he now gave these hugs as easily as he received them.

Evening rolled around and there was still no sign of Harry, just as Severus had expected. He knew full well that the man was staying out as long as possible in an effort to avoid further confrontation and Severus had to do his best not to let himself become more and more irritated as the time ticked by.

He made dinner for Teddy then put him to bed with a story. He stayed in the armchair beside Teddy's bed for some time after the little boy had fallen asleep, smoothing his sandy-coloured hair gently with one hand. Harry had been right when he said that it felt as though Teddy was theirs, he had done for some time. While they did have plans to have children of their own one day, if it never happened then Severus knew Teddy would be more than enough for them.

It was a little after 8 o'clock when Severus heard the front door open. He placed a soft kiss to Teddy's forehead and charmed the night light to emit a soft glow before leaving and heading downstairs. Harry was in the living room, shifting out of his outer robe, and he turned to face Severus as he came down the stairs.

"Nice of you to come home," Severus said, folding his arms over his chest.

"I needed the space," Harry said with a sigh. "Is Teddy ok?"

"Besides wondering where you were, he's fine."

Harry walked over to the cabinet in the corner of the room and poured himself a drink, taking a large swig before turning back to face Severus. "I should have come back sooner," he said, having the grace to look guilty.

"Why? It wouldn't change anything," Severus replied, feeling the urge to grab Harry and shake the life out of him. "You still think I'm overreacting and I still think you're behaving like an idiot."

"You were always so good at sweet talk," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"As if such a thing would penetrate that thick skull of yours."

"I'm beginning to wish I hadn't come back," Harry said, his eyes flashing.

"Well perhaps you shouldn't have done. Perhaps you should have gone to the middle of Diagon Alley with a target on your back and loudly announced to anyone that you were there for the offing."

"That's what you think of me, isn't it?" Harry asked, setting his glass down on the table. "You think I'm just a stupid kid who can't look after himself, who wouldn't know how to use a defensive spell if his life depended on it. Well I've got news for you, I'm not a child anymore and I can damn well take care of myself."

"It doesn't matter how well you can take care of yourself, all it takes is for one of these people to truly mean their threats and to act upon them. You know how dangerous people can be when emotions are involved."

"And you should know how dangerous I can be when provoked," Harry said, his voice low and smooth.

Severus shook his head and took a deep breath. "Do you expect me not to care?" he asked eventually. "Do you expect me not to worry about you?" He moved around the sofa and gripped Harry's arms tightly. "I love you, you pig-headed fool," he said through gritted teeth.

"That doesn't mean you control me," Harry said, shaking out of his hold.

"I don't want to control you, I want to protect you!"

"Like you always have done?"

"We can't keep going around in these damned circles!" Severus argued. "There is a history between us, you yourself said that. Is it to colour everything in our future too?"

The rigidity of Harry's posture seemed to ease a little and he closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he said, "I'd hoped it wouldn't."

Something in Harry's tone brought Severus up sharply, and a painful knot formed in his stomach. This was what he'd been afraid of, that their past was too insurmountable, that the ghosts of their former selves would linger over anything they might build.

"If we're to have any hope of a future," Severus said, trying to keep his voice level, "we have to put the past to rest. You need to take time to consider whether or not you can do that."

He spared one last glance at Harry then swept back up the stairs, unable to continue the painful conversation any longer. He retreated to his old bedroom, the same place he had spent the previous night, and slumped down on the bed in defeat.

It was what he had been afraid of, the very thing that had made him doubt whether a relationship was truly possible. So much had happened between him and Harry, so many things had been said and so many little hurts had been suffered by both parties. He had treated Harry in ways that he wasn't proud of and perhaps now he was reaping the consequences.

Perhaps it had been too much to hope that they could put these things behind them. He should have known better than to let his guard down, to hope for a future beyond the wretchedness he had always known.

He shook his head and cursed himself. It was a fight, everyone had them. Surely there was no need to be so melodramatic? He was behaving like a lovesick fool, which, upon consideration, he probably was.

He slept fitfully and woke feeling groggy and thoroughly out of sorts. He glared up at the ceiling for a moment or two, wishing he was waking up with Harry in his arms as he had grown so accustomed to. He rose and showered, then went downstairs to find Harry and Teddy already up.

He kissed Teddy good morning while the little boy happily dipped his soldiers in his boiled egg, the rich yellow yoke running down his fingers messily. Harry was making coffee and Severus nodded when Harry held a mug up towards him in offering.

They would obviously not continue the argument in front of Teddy, but Severus didn't know what he was supposed to say in order to make everything seem normal. He settled on focusing on Teddy instead, speaking with the boy about his plans to ride the horses at Ron and Draco's the next time he went over there.

"I've had a letter from Drake," Harry said, hearing the topic of their conversation. He handed Severus a mug of coffee, which Severus took with a muted thank you, and Harry continued, "He's asked me to stop by the shop today. He wants to go over a couple of things with me as a shareholder."

Severus nodded and replied, "Blaise is coming to speak to me about the house, and Neville said he might drop by as well. Seems as though we'll both be busy."

Harry nodded and turned to Teddy with a smile, saying, "You'll be good for Uncle Severus today, won't you?"

"I'm always good," Teddy said, as though affronted by the suggestion that he could be otherwise. "I help with potions," he said, pulling himself up a little straighter in his chair.

"Yes, you do," Severus said, ruffling the sandy-blond hair that swiftly turned black beneath his fingers. "We'll make a Potions Master of you yet."

Teddy beamed as though he'd been given the greatest compliment of his life and Severus couldn't help but return his smile. There was no denying it, Teddy felt like his son and he felt a closeness to the boy that none other could boast, save Harry.

After breakfast was finished, Harry ensconced himself in the study with a client's file while Severus took Teddy for a stroll in the sunshine. As usual, he was full of questions, and while once Severus would have been gritting his teeth in irritation, he found nothing but joy in answering them.

Teddy had an unquenchable desire to know everything about the world around him. He wanted to make sense of the things he saw, to put names to things and to understand why certain things happened. He wanted to know why there were different trees, why the stream flowed a certain way, what sort of butterfly it was that flitted past him.

Severus jokingly dubbed him 'the Elephant's Child', much to Teddy's bemusement, but Severus believed that Teddy could only be matched in his curiosity by Kipling's fabled character. If he could facilitate Teddy's knowledge in any way he could then he would be only too pleased to do so.

By the time they returned to the cottage Harry had gone. He left a note behind saying that he wouldn't be late and that he expected to have grown-up conversation when he returned. Severus rolled his eyes and set about preparing lunch in time for Blaise's arrival.

"£110,000," the man said as he took a seat at the kitchen table. "It was a bit of a tough one, but the agent got it in the end."

"I can't believe the place has gone for so much," Severus said in disbelief as he tested the soup to make sure it wasn't too hot for Teddy. "I knew the area had gone up in value but I never expected that we'd get that price for it."

Blaise nodded, smiling at Teddy as the little boy delicately blew on his soup and sipped it carefully.

"The agent we found didn't seem inclined to take no for an answer. Hermione's handling the legal side of the sale and we'll set out converting the money to galleons after everything's gone through. It'll all need to be rather hush-hush as you can't suddenly have a huge amount deposited in your Gringotts account but we'll sort something, don't worry."

"I have every faith in you," Severus said with a smirk.

"Are you going to spend all the money on a hugely lavish wedding to Harry?" Blaise asked with a grin, and Severus tried not to let his expression darken.

"Hardly," he replied, eating a mouthful of his own soup. "I'm intending to invest a portion in George's shop, donate a sum to the foundation and use a certain amount to make future provisions for a certain person," he said, shooting a fond glance at Teddy.

"Does that mean I'm going to be rich?" Teddy asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Certainly," Severus said dryly.

He knew that there had been a small amount left to Teddy by both his parents and by Andromeda, but Lupin had not been a rich man and Andromeda's funds had dwindled due to her misfortune of being a Slytherin. It was a modest sum that had been left to the young boy, but Severus intended to ensure a more secure future for his young charge.

"Perhaps a little should be used to enjoy yourself now you're a free man?" Blaise said with a quirked eyebrow. "A little frivolity never hurt anyone."

"Frivolity," Severus repeated the word as though it were an offensive one. "Hardly likely."

Blaise rolled his eyes good-naturedly and said, "I'd like to see something come from the fruits of my labour…or rather Hermione's. She's worked very hard to keep this property as yours and then to sell it for a good price."

"I'm indebted to her," Severus said sincerely. "She's a remarkable woman."

Blaise coloured slightly but smiled nevertheless. "I've not yet met another like her. I wish I'd been able to know her better at school. I was always…intrigued by her."

"And now?" Severus asked.

"If she'll have me, one day she'll be my wife. What more could a man wish for? She's deeply intelligent, fiercely independent and I think she's absolutely stunning. I know her though, she won't want to rush into anything, but I'm in no hurry. I can wait."

"These Gryffindor-Slytherin pairings," Severus said with a shake of his head. "Whoever would have thought they'd work?"

A whoosh sounded from the living room floo and Neville's voice followed, saying, "Hello, are you in?"

He appeared in the kitchen doorway and smiled at them both, waving at Teddy and reaching into his pocket, taking out a bag of sweets. "Brought you something, Ted. Best not to have them until after your lunch though."

"Thanks Uncle Neville," Teddy said with a wide grin.

Neville took a seat at the table and declined the offer of lunch but accepted the cup of tea that Severus poured for him. He had a large file with him and he sifted through it for a few moments before looking up and saying,

"The next hearing is something that I'd imagine would be close to your heart."

Severus looked at him questioningly and Neville's eyes darted to Teddy before he said, "I'm trying to get them to repeal the ban on Slytherins adopting children."

Severus' stomach dropped and he felt the sudden urge to wrap Teddy up in his arms, which he resisted with great effort. "I had no idea such a ban was in place," he said quietly.

He knew it wouldn't affect him directly; Harry was Teddy's legal guardian and had full custody of Teddy, no one would be able to take the boy away from them. Still, he had been considering making it truly official and asking Harry what he thought of formally adopting Teddy. Now that door had been closed on him.

"Is it likely they'll repeal it?" he asked, meeting Neville's eyes levelly.

Neville met his gaze and paused before saying, "Not very, not yet anyway. We need to build a persuasive case that will make the Ministry feel as though this law will somehow end up doing them a disservice. We need to frame the argument in such a way that it would prove beneficial to those in charge to repeal the law."

Blaise nodded in agreement and said, "We all know the best way to do that is to speak in terms of money. If we can show that keeping the swathes of orphans created by the war will see the Ministry operate a loss…well, it will work to our advantage."

Neville smiled that wolfish grin that still unnerved Severus slightly and gestured at the file on the table, saying, "Lucky that someone has access to those accounts then, isn't it?"

Blaise raised an eyebrow and said, "I'm almost certain your position doesn't entitle you to those."

Neville gave a careless shrug and said, "I was creative in the interpretation of my job description."

Blaise gave an approving smile and said, "You're growing more Slytherin by the day."

"Thank you," Neville said, apparently meaning it.

The two men stayed for the rest of the afternoon and Severus balanced his discussions with them with entertaining and looking after Teddy. The little boy was a sociable creature and enjoyed being in the company of adults particularly. He listened intently to their conversations, his intelligent eyes darting back and forth as his little mind processed what he was hearing.

Blaise left around mid-afternoon, his handsome face suffused with a gentle blush as he mentioned something about meeting up with Hermione. Neville stayed and played with Teddy while discussing less inflammatory subjects with Severus, including his burgeoning relationship with Haizea.

"She'd like to leave Grimmauld and find a place of her own, but she feels secure there for the time being. I think it helps to have other people around her who've been through the same thing."

Severus nodded. While it wasn't really in his nature to confide in others, he could see how it would benefit some people. Life in Azkaban was an experience that only those who had lived it could understand, and he was glad if Haizea, and others, found support in one another.

"She's very grateful for the wage you pay her. It's very generous, especially considering she's only part-time."

"Her assistance is well worth what I pay her," Severus replied, watching as Neville helped Teddy with the puzzle he was working on. "She is highly competent and skilled. I hope in the future that she will be able to seek a Mastery of her own."

"She'd love that," Neville said with a smile, handing Teddy another puzzle piece and indicating where it should go.

There was a noise from the fireplace, followed by Ron's head bobbing in the flames. "Hey," he said genially, "hope I'm not interrupting. Mind if I come through?"

"Of course not," Severus said, and Neville shifted himself and Teddy backwards while Ron stepped through moments later.

"Uncle Ron!" Teddy said happily, scrambling to his feet and chucking himself at Ron's knees.

"Hello sweetheart," Ron said, hoisting Teddy up onto his hip. "Sorry to disrupt you," he said, looking at Severus and Neville, "but I was just wondering if you'd heard anything from Harry. I thought Drake would be back by now but there's no sign of him. Has their meeting run over?"

Severus shook his head and said, "I don't know. All I know is that Harry got a letter asking him to meet Draco at the shop and…What? What is it?" Severus asked as he saw the deep frown settle on Ron's brow.

"Drake didn't ask Harry to meet him," he said, the frown turning to an expression of concern. "Harry was the one who asked him. He sent a letter saying that he wanted to talk about his investment in the shop."

Severus rose from his chair and moved into the kitchen, rifling through the post that had been left on the table. He found Draco's letter and took it out to Ron, saying, "Look, this is what Harry received this morning, it's – "

"It isn't Drake's writing," Ron said, his voice grim. His eyes met Severus' and the two men looked at each other as comprehension dawned on them.

A cold block of ice settle in the pit of Severus' stomach and he saw his own fear reflected back at him from Ron's eyes. "Fuck," he breathed, and did his best not to pass out.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh how I love a good cliffhanger :D I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please leave me a comment and let me know.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"They were here," Severus said, watching as the spell he'd performed showed traces of Harry and Draco's magic lingering in the air.

They were at the shop, having gone straight there after leaving Teddy with Molly. The rest of the Weasleys, Hermione, Neville and Blaise were all with them, doing their best not to give in to panic. Severus himself was having a hard time doing so and was trying to stay squarely within the realm of the rational as he tried to figure out what had happened.

"Signs of a struggle," Hermione said, performing her own set of spells, which Severus had to admit were impressive to watch. "Several curses cast, counter-curses and protective spells over here," she murmured, moving towards the till. "Looks as if someone ended up with a bloody nose too," she said, and Severus noted the small drops of blood that dotted the floor where she stood.

"Damn," she said, after performing a few complex movements with her wand. "Their attackers used anti-tracking spells."

"Then we have no way of knowing where they are?" Ron asked, his voice tinged with panic.

He was trying to keep his cool, Severus knew that, but he was desperately worried about Draco, as Severus was about Harry. He had had plenty of experience dealing with this kind of situation and with the concern that usually accompanied it, but it had never been so bloody personal before. He knew that if he was to be any use to Harry he would have to try and keep his head level, but he was only human and the man he loved was in danger.

Hermione paused for a moment, her clever brain calculating the options. "Do you both still have the letters Harry and Draco received?"

Severus and Ron extracted the letters from their pockets and handed them to her. She took them and lay them flat on the counter, smoothing the parchment out and perusing them carefully.

"Written by the same hand," she murmured, "on the same parchment in the same ink." She waved her wand over both letters and a faint pinkish cloud appeared over them. "That's unusual," she said quietly, "the parchment is quite rare. It's only used for binding books that need delicate handling. The only people that use it are antique book restorers."

"Will that help us?" Ron asked, his blue eyes wide with worry.

"It's the only clue we have to work with," she said, her expression bordering on apologetic. "We'll find them, whatever it takes."

"Who knows how much time we have to do that?" Ron said, voicing Severus' own concerns. "Merlin, it may already be too…" he trailed off and Severus laid a hand on his shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze and Ron looked across at him, nodding heavily.

A look of steely resolve settled on Hermione's face, reminding Severus of Miverva as a young woman. She raised her head and looked at the assembled group for a moment before saying, "Severus, you and I are going to do what we can to track the origin of this parchment. Ron, I want you to take everyone else and devise a plan of attack."

Ron looked nonplussed for a moment and opened his mouth to question the directive, but Hermione, in a tone that brooked no argument, said, "No one has a mind like yours for strategy. Wherever Harry and Draco are being held, we'll need at least two fronts to get to them. You can devise that."

Ron squared his shoulders, wearing the same look of resolve that Hermione had. He nodded, his jaw set firm, then turned to the others and said, "Let's get started."

Hermione turned to Severus and motioned for him to follow her into the shop's office, which he did without question. She placed the letters on George's table and Severus stood beside her, conducting his own examination of the parchment.

"You can see where they've been torn out of books," Hermione said, running her fingers over the rough edges of the letters. "Book binders use blank pages in the front and back of books to stop the binding from cracking."

Severus nodded, rolling his sleeves up and pushing all thoughts from his mind that didn't help him focus on the task at hand.

"Thank Merlin my wand's de-registered," he murmured as his mind began ticking over the possibilities. "I think we may have to delve into barely legal magic to trace the paper's origin."

Hermione looked at him for a moment then nodded. "We'll do whatever's necessary," she said firmly. "Now and…when we find them."

The next hour passed in a blur of worry mixed with determination. Hermione was fierce in her resolve and Severus was grateful for both her tenacity and her formidable intelligence. Her knowledge of the spells that Severus used was surprising and she assisted him capably as he worked.

"Manchester," he said eventually, wiping the perspiration from his brow. "From the wizarding quarter."

Hermione began searching through the registry of magical retailers she had obtained from Neville, who had pilfered it from the Ministry's records. Her eyes scanned the pages in front of her, her brow furrowed in concentration.

Severus took the brief reprieve to pour himself a glass of water and take a couple of measured sips. He could hear Ron's voice beyond the door, instructing the others in manoeuvres. He had been slightly dubious when Hermione had given the man the task of organising the attack, but he had played chess with Ron enough times to know the keen, tactical mind he possessed.

As Severus listened, he could hear the confidence in Ron's voice as he outlined the strategies they would use and the most effective offensive and defensive spells that could be used in each instance. He agreed with nearly all of the suggestions Ron made, although he would have preferred to lean more towards the darker range of magic.

"Oh," came Hermione's voice through his thoughts, the word soft and surprised.

"What is it?" Severus asked, moving to stand behind her to see what she'd discovered.

"Bell," she murmured.

"I beg your pardon?" Severus asked with a frown.

"There's a shop that deals in antique restoration registered to Patrick Bell. I'm certain that's Katie Bell's brother."

"I fail to see the significance," Severus said, his thoughts struggling to keep up.

"Katie was the one who was cursed by the necklace that Draco…"

"That Draco meant for Albus," Severus finished, a weight settling low in his chest. "I thought Miss Bell recovered from the curse?"

Hermione shook her head sadly and said, "It seemed so but as the year went on, Katie's health deteriorated. The last I heard she was in St Mungo's in the same ward as Lockhart and Neville's parents. Her mind…her mind just unravelled. There's no hope of recovery."

Severus closed his eyes and pressed his fingers against them, pieces of a very distasteful puzzle falling into place. "You think her family are seeking revenge," he muttered, opening his eyes to see Hermione nodding, her expression grim.

"Her family have been very vocal in condemning Harry. They see him as a traitor, a facilitator to those who, in their eyes, should be locked behind bars forever. The fact that Draco's been kidnapped along with Harry seems to point to it being the Bells who are responsible."

"Then we go to the shop," Severus said, knowing she was right. "It's the only lead we have. There may be something there that will help us figure out where they're holding them."

It took less than half an hour to rally everyone. Ron had organised people into three separate teams; those responsible for offensive measures, those responsible for search and sweep and those responsible for guarding the perimeter and acting as a second front.

It had been decided that Severus, Bill and Ginny would be the ones to initially enter the shop, with Hermione, Arthur and Ron close behind to enter when the signal was given while the others would take up positions along the street to intercept anyone who might try and make a run for it.

It was nearly midnight when Severus found himself in a narrow street in the wizarding quarter of Manchester, his wand drawn as he looked up the Bells' shop façade. It looked like any other antique store he had ever encountered and it appeared that no one was in.

He and George carefully and systematically took down the shop's wards, Severus sparing a moment to marvel at George's talent. The magic dealt with, George then set about the more mundane task of picking the lock, which was done with surprising ease.

"Misspent youth," George said with a grin as he stood up and noted the look on Severus' face.

"Breaking into Dad's shed to see what you could get your hands on," Ginny added dryly. She turned to face Severus, Bill, coming to stand with them. "Ready?" she asked them both.

Severus and Bill nodded and she turned the handle slowly, all three entering the shop quietly. They moved stealthily, wands drawn as they scanned the place for any signs of life. It was cluttered and messy, and they had to navigate things carefully to avoid making unnecessary noise.

After a few moments, Severus felt Ginny tap his shoulder and he looked at her as she gestured to a large, ornate wardrobe in the corner of the room. She leant close and whispered, "I can feel a faint trace of magic coming from it. There are concealment spells on it."

All three of them moved closer, Severus and Ginny to the sides, Bill standing directly in front of the wardrobe. He moved his wand swiftly and intoned several spells loudly and the door blew off its hinges, revealing a crouching man inside. He made a move to run but Ginny rounded on him and landed a punch to his jaw that sent him sprawling back against the wardrobe, eyes wide with surprise.

Severus resisted the urge to smile. Ginny may well have been a Pureblood, but she was perfectly capable of resorting to Muggle hooliganism when she needed to. He wouldn't have wanted to be on the receiving end of such a punch.

"Who are you?" he asked the man, holding his wand firmly towards him, inches from his face.

The man glared defiantly up at him, then whipped his head around as Bill silently _accioed_ the man's wand and caught it deftly.

"Who are you?" Severus asked again, his voice low.

"Matthew Bell," he said eventually, curling into himself protectively. "Patrick's cousin."

"Where is he?" Severus asked, and Matthew clenched his jaw shut and stared down at the ground. "Where is he?" Severus repeated, feeling his anger grow. "And where has he taken Harry and Draco?"

"Those two deserve whatever's coming to them," Matthew spat, his cheeks flushing, his jaw already beginning to show the signs of an almighty bruise.

Severus brought his wand closer to the man's face and snarled, "If you don't tell me what I want to know, I will break every single bone in your body and believe me when I say that I know a different way to break each one."

The man's eyes widened with fear and Bill and Ginny stepped closer. "Your cousin has our friends," Ginny said, her voice level and controlled. "You must realise that we'll do whatever it takes to get them back. Between us we can cause you pain that you've never even imagined."

Severus was surprised at both her tone and her words. He believed her. He believed that she could and would do things that perhaps her brothers wouldn't. She had power and had always been a capable and creative student. She also had a streak of steel that ran all the way through her and she had few qualms in using that to her advantage.

 _Slytherin if ever I've seen one_ , Severus thought, lamenting that he had never been able to have her in his house. She would have been an asset.

"I don't know where they are," Matthew said, his eyes darting between the three of them.

"You're lying," Ginny said, her voice calm and quiet. "I wonder if you know who this man is," she said indicating Severus.

"Of course I do," Matthew said contemptuously.

Ginny smiled but the expression was cold. "Then you should know what he's capable of." She advanced a little closer and said, "Now tell us what we want to know."

"They deserve whatever's coming to them," Matthew said, his eyes flashing. "What they did to Katie…she's worse than dead!"

With a flick of Severus' wand Matthew was gagged and his wrists were bound tightly behind his back. He had the good sense to look scared and Severus took a moment to control himself before he placed his wand under Matthew's chin.

"Do you know what the Cruciatus is, Mr Bell?" he asked, and Matthew nodded. "It's a favourite among people because it's easy to cast with enough practice, but I always felt that it lacked finesse. Have you heard of the Calor Sanguis?" he asked, lowering his voice deliberately.

Matthew shook his head, his eyes darting to Ginny and Bill as though asking for help, but he found none. "The Calor Sanguis," Severus continued as though discussing the weather, "boils the victim's blood. It starts slowly, you feel as though you have a temperature, then the heat spreads. Your skin begins to tingle, the heat starts to become uncomfortable, then it becomes painful.

"The fire spreads through your veins, surges through your organs and you feel as though you wish to tear your own skin off to try and make it stop. The pain becomes unbearable and eventually you begin to bleed from every orifice, the pressure so immense that your eyes burst in their sockets. The death is a slow one and you will beg for mercy before it claims you."

Matthew took a shuddering breath and Severus reached forward to remove the gag from his mouth. The man flinched and tried to move away but he had nowhere to go. "Now," Severus said, his wand levelled threateningly at the man's temple, "consider carefully and think how you wish this day to end."

It sickened him to behave in such a way again, to revert to old ways and threats of violence, but what else could he do? Harry's life hung in the balance and to save him Severus would have sold his soul.

"If I tell you where they are," Matthew said, his face pale, "what will you do to them?"

Bill stepped forward, his expression neutral, his eyes calm. "We will do as little harm as we can," he said seriously. "We don't want to hurt anyone, we just want to get Harry and Draco back safely."

"I told him not to do it," Matthew whispered, shaking his head. "I begged him not to, but he's…he's been so lost since Katie was admitted to St Mungo's. He became…obsessed with getting revenge, evening the score."

Matthew looked up at Bill, looking rather lost himself. Severus could see the conflict behind the man's eyes, could tell that his loyalty to his family and his sense of right and wrong were warring against one another. Severus knew only too well that the sensible thing to do was to let the battle play out in the man's mind rather than forcing the issue.

"There's an old house not far from here. It used to belong to the family but it's little more than a shack now. I honestly don't know for certain…but that would be my best guess that that's where he's taken them," Matthew said, his expression imploring them to believe him, which, Severus had to admit that he did.

Bill waved his wand and a holographic map of the area appeared in front of them. He pulled Matthew by the collar of his shirt to stand in front of it and said, "Show us."

Minutes later Severus stepped back out onto the street, the others all waiting in their positions. Bill and Ginny were to stay with Matthew to ensure that he didn't try to contact Patrick and extract further information from him if the old house proved to be a dead end.

"You have something?" Ron asked as he approached him, his expression nervous.

Severus nodded. "There's a house. I have the apparation co-ordinates."

The others assembled around them and Ron gave them their instructions. One team made up of Hermione, Arthur and Blaise were to keep guard around the perimeter of the house while Severus, George, Ron and Neville made an initial sweep of the house. Ron and Severus would then find Harry and Draco with George and Neville acting as back-up.

They arrived at the house with silence and stealth. Years might have passed since the war but it seemed that no one had lost the instincts they had honed during that time. Hermione, Arthur and Blaise immediately took their positions around the outside, wands drawn, alert and focused.

Severus moved with Ron to the dilapidated front door, George and Neville close behind. His heart was thudding and his palm was sweaty where he was gripping his wand so tightly. He had fought deadlier foes than Patrick Bell in the past and had saved Harry's skin more times than he could count, but it had never meant this much before.

He raised his wand and quickly ascertained that there were only the most basic of wards in place. Clearly Patrick hadn't given his abduction a great deal of thought, and it was likely that he was acting off pure adrenaline rather than cunning.

Severus dismantled the wards and George cast a series of potent disillusionment charms over the four of them that would mask any noise they made while keeping them from view. They moved silently into the dilapidated building, taking care not to touch the walls, mindful of how precarious the building was.

The downstairs rooms were empty and the caved in staircase indicated that access to the upper rooms was impossible. It was Neville who discovered the concealed door in the ruined kitchen and all four gathered around it to try and take down the surprisingly strong wards around it.

"Fuck this," Ron said eventually with a low growl and within seconds had sent the thing flying off its hinges with a powerful kick. "Muggles have it right sometimes," he grunted, stepping forward to the brink of the descending staircase with his wand drawn.

He and Severus walked swiftly down the narrow stone steps, their presence no doubt announced by the removal of the door from its frame. Patrick was down there, his back to them as he faced Harry and Draco who were manacled to the wall behind him.

Their heads were both bowed forward onto their chests, dark bloodstains streaking through the fabric of their shirts. Patrick had his wand pointed at them, his arm shaking, apparently unaware of anything besides the men in front of him.

"I will kill you, you know," he said, his voice high and bordering maniacal. "You think I won't, but I will!"

"See to Harry and Draco," Severus told Ron, "I'll deal with him."

"Who's there?" Patrick shouted, spinning around, his eyes wild. He sent off a volley of messy, unfocused spells, which Severus dodged with ease. He reversed the disillusionment charm and attempted an _expelliarmus_ , but Patrick was quicker than he anticipated and threw up a protective shield just in time.

"You!" Patrick hissed. "You should be there with them!"

"I think we should see an end to this madness, Mr Bell. You will do no good to your sister by continuing down this path."

"Don't you bring her into this!" Patrick yelled, the fire in his eyes burning even more intensely. "Do you have any idea what they did to her? She doesn't even remember her own name anymore! And he gets to walk around scot-free as though nothing's wrong," he said, jerking his head towards Draco, "while Potter campaigns for him and the rest of the Slytherin scum! It isn't right!"

The manacles around Draco's wrists began to clatter, a sign that Ron was there, trying to work him free. Patrick spun back around, the grip on his wand so tight that his knuckles were white. "Who's there? Get away!" he shouted, firing off a spell that blasted the stone from the wall just to the left of Draco's head.

Ron appeared, a gash on his cheek from the flying debris. "Let them down from here, Patrick. We have to get them to a hospital."

"I'm not letting them go," Patrick snarled, his body shaking. "I'm going to make them pay for what they did to my sister."

Obviously sensing that Patrick wouldn't succumb as willingly as they had wished, George and Neville appeared in the basement, wands drawn, faces grim.

"You're outnumbered four to one, Patrick," George said levelly. "Best give up now before things get messy."

Patrick gave a nasty snarl of a laugh and said, "I'd die before I let those two go free. I'll bring this whole damn place down on the lot of us before I let you take them."

Severus didn't doubt him for a second. The house was hazardous enough as it was, but a well-timed spell from Patrick would bury them all in it.

"Patrick," George said firmly, moving forward to stand beside Severus. "I knew Katie, I played alongside her on the Gryffindor team for a number of years. She wouldn't have wanted this, you know that. She was one of the kindest people I've ever met and she was incapable of holding grudges. What happened to her was a terrible accident and I'm so sorry that she's ended up so wounded by it, but this won't make things any better."

"It demands vengeance," Patrick said, and in that moment, Severus knew that the man was truly mad. "It can't be left unavenged. Katie needs retribution!"

"Patrick – " George tried again, but Patrick moved forward, his wand shaking where it was gripped so tightly.

"Don't move! Don't you move a step closer or I swear I will kill them both!"

"Do you really believe that your sister would wish you to become a killer?" Severus asked, wondering if they could keep Patrick's attention long enough for Ron to attempt to free Harry and Draco.

"Katie doesn't wish for anything anymore," Patrick said with an ugly snarl. "Katie doesn't even know her own fucking name!"

"Then it's up to you to preserve her memory," Severus countered fiercely. "If you do this, her life and yours will be tied to this misery forever."

"Do you think I care?" Patrick hissed.

The manacles clanked as Ron attempted to release Draco again and Patrick swung back around just as Severus, Neville and George moved closer. Liked a cornered animal, Patrick's eyes darted between them, frenzied and crazed.

"Patrick – " Severus began.

"Stop!" he shrieked. Sparks flew from his wand and he made slashing motions with it as he pointed it towards Severus. It was as though he didn't know what he was doing, as though the situation finally claimed his mind and a jumble of words fell from his lips, spells ricocheting left, right and centre.

The house shuddered, the beams in the rooms above creaked and Severus had barely a fraction of a second to try and throw up the strongest protective spells he could think of before the whole place collapsed around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be mad, I know it's another cliffie! I'll make it up to you all, I promise.
> 
> So I've had a hella rough time lately guys. My health sucks, I've been signed off work and I'm now walking with a cane. (A couple of months shy of 30 and that really sucks!) Please cheer me up with some lovely comments...I'm not emotionally manipulating you, promise! :D


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Severus' head was thumping, as it had been for four days. He had discharged himself from hospital, against all the healers' orders, and had been keeping vigil by Harry's bedside. He had sustained a rather nasty concussion and several cuts and abrasions when the house all but imploded, but as far as he was concerned these were nothing that needed worrying about.

It would have done no good anyway. He had no worry left for anyone save Harry, who had yet to wake up from the comatose state he had found the man in. Patrick had placed both Harry and Draco in a stasis spell, but, owing to the instability of his magic, it wasn't yet clear exactly what he had done to them.

Patrick himself was a few wards along, an auror stationed outside. He had sustained several broken bones and a nasty head injury but would recover well enough. More was the pity as far as Severus was concerned. He was more than willing to finish the man off himself.

If it hadn't been for Hermione, Blaise and Arthur stationed outside, he doubted whether any of them would have made it out alive. The protective shield Severus had managed to throw up before the house collapsed had lessened the damage done, but no one had escaped unscathed. Ron, who had been closest to the wall, had broken his collarbone and right arm, whilst bruising several vertebrae in the process.

George and Neville had both suffered concussions, while Neville's pelvis was fractured and George had sustained muscle damage in his upper body. Harry and Draco, whilst suffering from Patrick's botched magic, had also had their share of broken bones and injuries in the ensuing chaos.

Ron was keeping his own vigil at Draco's bedside, while Neville and George oscillated between them. Technically, none of them should have been out of bed and they had had severe words from the healers, but they were not to be persuaded.

"Coffee," said George, as he moved gingerly into Harry's bedroom.

He handed Severus the plastic cup of sludge, which the man took with a nod of thanks. He slid into the uncomfortable seat next to Severus and cast an eye over Harry's still form.

"No change?" he asked.

Severus shook his head. "They're still running tests," he answered, running a hand over his stubbled chin. "They're confident that the physical injuries will heal well enough, but they don't know how to recover him from the stasis spell."

"Drake's in the same way," George said with a sigh, looking as tired as Severus felt. "I'm sure it'll just turn out to be…an overdose of magic, something that just takes a little more effort to crack."

Severus nodded, though he couldn't say he was convinced. Patrick was highly unstable, as was his magic. Whatever he had hit Harry and Draco with could be something that might never be reversed. That was his darkest thought. In the middle of the night, when the hustle and bustle of the hospital's daily routine had ebbed away and he had nothing but his own thoughts for company, that was what filled his mind.

Harry might never wake up. They would never get married, never raise Teddy together, never have the future they were supposed to have. In those dark moments he was transported back to his dank cell in Azkaban, taken back to the man who had no hope, no reason to lift his head from his pillow day after day.

George cleared his throat and Severus shook himself out of his bleak thoughts. "I had a brief fire call with Mum earlier," the man said, taking a sip of his coffee and wincing at the taste.

"Oh?"

"Teddy's asking after you," George said, finally getting Severus' attention. "He's missing you both quite badly and he wants to come and see you. She doesn't know what to tell him."

"I can't let him come here, I can't let him see Harry like this," Severus said, hating the thought of Teddy seeing Harry lying motionless in the bed, having to deal with the little boy's worry as well as his own.

"It's your decision," George said gently, "but I think he needs you right now…and I think he might do you some good too."

Sensing that no answer was forthcoming, George reached out and clasped Severus' shoulder, saying, "Just think about it. I'll let Mum know whatever you decide."

A little while later George left to go and check on Ron and to hunt down some food. Severus had no appetite and food was the furthest thing from his mind, but George insisted. It was pointless to argue.

He reached and carefully took Harry's hand in his own. The man's skin was marred with bruises and cuts, and the left side of his face was swollen where his cheek had been broken. He brushed his fingers over Harry's knuckles and wished that there was more that he could do rather than just sit there like an ineffective statue.

He didn't know what to do about Teddy. As he sat cradling Harry's hand, he realised that he missed his young charge. He missed having the little boy curled up in his lap, stroking his soft hair as he read him a story. Would it do him good to have Teddy there? More importantly, was it the right thing to do for Teddy?

"I wish you were here with me," he murmured softly to Harry. "I wish you'd wake up. I'm terrified."

He had never in his life confessed such a thing. For the most part, he had never even allowed himself to feel it. He had faced down Voldemort whilst acting as a spy for Dumbledore, he had lived with the weight of Dumbledore's murder on his conscience, yet nothing had frightened him as much as the thought of losing Harry.

"I'm sorry about the way things were between us before this happened. I'm sorry the last words we spoke to each other were in anger."

Of course, the snide part of Severus' brain that still existed told him that he had, in fact, been justified. He had told Harry to take the death threats seriously, had known that he would always have to look out for the man whatever Harry might believe. Pride be damned, though. He would have given anything to have been wrong.

"I want to marry you," he whispered, bringing Harry's hand to his lips. "I want to be your husband. I want a future with you."

Perhaps it was selfish, but the loneliness he felt in that moment made his decision for him. The next time he saw George, he would ask the boy to send word to Molly. He needed Teddy with him.

* * *

"Am I doing the right thing?" Severus asked Molly as they stood in the corridor outside Harry's room.

"I don't think it'll do him any damage if that's what you're asking," Molly said, her voice kind. "He's…faced worse than this, he knows what loss is, not that I'm saying that Harry…" she added quickly, but Severus waved his hand in understanding.

Teddy had arrived with Molly a few minutes earlier and he had barrelled into Severus' legs with such exuberance it had nearly knocked Severus backwards. The second he had picked the little boy up and held him tightly to his chest he had felt a surge of relief. Teddy was the reason he had to keep going day after day, even if the very worst happened, and having him there served as a tactile reminder.

"He's a bright boy, he knows what's happening. He won't be content to just be left on the side-lines," Molly said, looking down the corridor to where Teddy was sitting on George's lap. "I know Harry will wake up, Severus. Soon, this will all feel like a bad dream and you can get on with planning your wedding."

She gave his arm a squeeze and he tried to summon a smile for her, but he was too tired to make it convincing.

"I'll go and see how Ron's doing, make sure he eats something," she said, patting the large bag of food she had brought with her. "I'll come for Teddy in an hour or so."

Severus nodded and signalled to George, who gently removed Teddy from his lap and sent him off down the corridor towards Severus. He knelt down so he was eye-to-eye with the little boy and took a couple of deep breaths before he said, "Teddy, Auntie Molly told you that Uncle Harry was injured, didn't she?"

Teddy nodded, his amber eyes serious. Severus let his hand rest in the small of Teddy's back, holding him in place gently as he continued, "At the moment he's…sleeping, and we're not sure when he'll wake up. Are you sure you want to go in and see him?"

Teddy paused for a moment, his eyes flickering to the door behind Severus. "Have you been with him all this time?" he asked eventually, and Severus was silent for a moment, thrown by the seemingly unrelated question.

"Yes, I have."

"Then I should be with you. We're family," he said as though that answered everything.

Severus felt his chest tighten and he leant forward to wrap Teddy up in a heartfelt embrace. He stood up and took Teddy with him, the little boy sliding his arms around Severus' neck in an action that was comforting in its familiarity.

Still not sure whether he was doing the right thing, Severus moved back into Harry's room. He sat in his seat next to Harry's bed and settled Teddy in his lap. The little boy looked at Harry's prone form intently, seemingly fixated on the steady rise and fall of the man's chest.

"Is he hurting?" Teddy asked quietly.

"No, I don't think so," Severus replied, his tone equally as soft. "The healers have fixed all his injuries but a spell was used on him and we're not sure how to reverse it. It's keeping him asleep and it's very strong."

Teddy nodded, frightening Severus with how adult he looked. For 3 years old the boy was a precocious child. He was intelligent and astute, and he absorbed everything around him. He listened to the conversations that took place above his head and resented the fact that he wasn't always involved in everything the adults did.

"Can he hear us?"

"I…I don't know," Severus said. He hadn't actually considered it, but as he thought about it, he knew that muggles believed that patients in comas could hear things around them. "Perhaps you should talk to him. If he can hear it might make him feel better."

Teddy bit his lip and looked at Harry before shuffling off Severus' lap and clambering up onto the bed next to Harry, with a little leg-up from Severus. He sat and studied Harry's face for a moment before he said softly, "Uncle Harry, it's me."

He paused and reached to rest his small hand on Harry's chest. He was so gentle, Severus thought as he watched him. He could be a bull in a china shop when he wanted to, like most small children, but when the occasion called for it, he was capable of great delicacy.

"If you can hear me, I'm looking after Uncle Severus," he said, and Severus couldn't help but smile. "He's fine, don't worry. He says you're sleeping and they can't wake you up, but sometimes I don't want to wake up either. Sleeping is nice and perhaps you're just very tired."

God bless the logic of children, Severus thought as he allowed himself to lean back in the chair. He ached all over and had had only a few hours sleep here and there over the past few days. He closed his eyes and let Teddy's sweet voice wash over him as he talked to Harry.

Teddy told him about all the things he'd been doing while he stayed with Molly and how she had made the shortbread biscuits that he loved the most. He said that Bill had stopped by with Victoire and had taken them both for a ride on his broom over the fields that surrounded the Burrow.

After he apprised Harry of all the events since Harry had been in hospital, he then went on to say that, while he liked staying with Auntie Molly and Uncle Arthur, he missed his home and his bedroom. Uncle Arthur didn't do the voices when he read stories the way Severus did, and Auntie Molly didn't quite make his porridge the way Harry did with the raspberry jam that could only be bought from the farmer's wife down the road.

He wanted to help Severus make potions and to play hide and seek in the gardens as they had started doing now the weather was warmer and the evenings were that much lighter. As he talked and Severus listened, Severus realised that any fears he might have harboured about Teddy being unhappy living with them were unfounded.

Teddy still missed Andromeda, that much was certain, but the cottage on Dartmoor had become his home and Harry and Severus had become his parents. Despite the tumult of his emotions and the worry he was feeling, Severus felt a comforting warmth settle in the centre of his chest. They were enough for Teddy, _he_ was enough.

"…and when you're awake again, we can go on holiday," Severus heard Teddy say and he couldn't help but agree that a holiday would be most welcome. He wanted to put all this wretched business behind them and move forward as a family, but there was so much that had to happen before they could do that.

"Can we go on holiday…Dad?"

Severus heard the appellation but it took his brain a few seconds to process it. He opened his eyes and found Teddy looking at him directly, his expression uncertain. Surely Teddy couldn't have been addressing him when he used…that word?

"Teddy…" Severus began but Teddy cut him off.

"Everyone I know has a mum or dad, or both. I've never been able to call anyone Dad," he said, looking so small and vulnerable that Severus' heart could have broken for him. "And you are…aren't you?" he continued, his expression hopeful. "You both are. You look after me and we're…we're a family."

Severus cleared his throat and tried to approach the situation rationally. One half of him wanted to burst with joy while the other half wanted to flee screaming in terror. "What…what would you call Uncle Harry?"

"I think he'd like it if I called him Pa," Teddy said, and Severus knew that the boy had given it some thought.

Severus tried to collect his thoughts but they seemed to be tumbling from his head and giving him a cheery wave goodbye as they did so. Teddy wanted to call him 'Dad', wanted him to be his father, not simply his guardian.

He reached out and lifted Teddy off the bed, settling him onto his lap and holding him tightly. He buried his nose in Teddy's soft hair and felt his love for the little boy surge through him.

"If that's truly what you want, Teddy, I would be honoured to be your dad."

Teddy snuggled in even closer and rested his head against Severus' chest. "It'll all be alright, Dad. You'll see."

In that moment, Severus believed him.

* * *

Severus stood outside Harry's room, Ron next to him, as the healer outlined her plan for Harry and Draco. As she had described it, they were, in essence, being held hostage by magic. Patrick's stasis spell had been so bastardised, so full of muddled magic that it had overwhelmed Harry and Draco's systems and was spreading like an infection.

Her solution, one that had been reached after several weeks of research, was to slowly and systematically strip the men of all traces of magic in their systems. Of course, initially Severus had been horrified at the prospect, as had Ron, both of them believing that their partners would be left as little more than squibs.

This, however, was not to be the case. The healer had devised a way to separate Harry and Draco's magic from Patrick's once it was all removed from their systems, and so for the next week they would be placed on a kind of dialysis. It wasn't without its risks and the healer could offer no hard and fast guarantees, but if they did nothing then it was likely that Harry and Draco would never wake up.

"We have to do this, don't we?" Ron asked tiredly, looking at Severus.

"I can't see that we have any other option," Severus replied. "When will you begin?" he asked the healer.

"As soon as possible," she replied. "We're moving them to another room that's being prepared with warding spells and a number of other precautions. I'm afraid neither of you will be allowed in the room throughout the process. It's…incredibly delicate."

Severus and Ron both nodded in resignation and the healer left them to attend to the preparations. It had been a long and tiring road to get to this point and both men were exhausted. They had returned home only sporadically to wash and change their clothes, but the majority of their time had been spent at the hospital.

"I hate not having a choice," Ron said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was dishevelled, his hair not as clean as it usually was and there was a few days' stubble on his chin.

Severus nodded his agreement, leaning against the wall, feeling as tired as Ron looked. The weeks had felt like years and even though it seemed they now had a solution, there would still be a long road ahead.

"I heard from Neville – Patrick's been charged with kidnap and intent to harm. He's getting three years in Azkaban."

It was a hollow victory, Severus supposed. As a previous inmate of Azkaban he could wish that experience on no one, yet there had to be some consequence for what Patrick had done.

"Better he had been admitted to the mental health ward in this place," Severus said with a sigh. "He was undoubtedly unhinged. I can't imagine he'll live longer than six months in that place."

"What a mess," Ron said, running a hand through his hair and messing it further.

"And what will follow it?" Severus asked and Ron looked at him questioningly. "Every single one of those death threats wasn't from Patrick," he elaborated. "What happens the next time someone decides to act upon one?"

"Nev says the Ministry's been shaken by this. While there are many who are opposed to what Harry's fighting for, there are plenty who support him. They don't want to be seen as the ones who let someone kill the slayer of Voldemort. They're going to act on the threats more rigorously in future," Ron said, though it was precious little comfort to Severus.

Perhaps nothing would happen again, but it was not in his nature to be so optimistic. Harry and Teddy were his family and he would protect them at all costs.

He knew, of course, that part of this pledge to action was because he felt so useless now. He could do nothing to help Harry and he had been consigned to nothing more than a bystander. In the past he had always been able to do something, even if Harry had resented him for it, but this inaction was a new and unpleasant experience.

The next week dragged by. As they weren't allowed in Harry and Draco's room, Severus and Ron had to content themselves with merely peering in through the small porthole window in the door. The procedure was going well, or so they were told. It was risky and more unstable that most magic, and it was new territory for the healers themselves.

Severus was glad he had Ron with him, as the man was the only person who could truly understand what he was going through. George, Hermione and Neville were also regular visitors and Molly brought Teddy once a day.

The little boy provided more comfort than Severus would have imagined. Severus sometimes feared that he was being selfish in letting Teddy come and visit, that he was causing the boy harm by exposing him to Harry in such a state, but Teddy didn't seem to be adversely affected. After they looked in on Harry's sleeping form, Severus would take Teddy for a stroll in the hospital garden and Teddy would tell him how he'd been faring at the Burrow.

What they would all do without Molly Severus shuddered to think. She was looking after Teddy, bringing baskets of freshly-cooked food daily and stopping by both Severus' and Ron's cottages to make sure they were clean and tidy. She was a force of nature and Severus couldn't have wished for a better mother-in-law.

Everyone was worried and fraught, and the papers were full of the news that The Boy Who Lived might never wake up. People had taken to making sure that none of those articles came within 100 yards of Severus as he was inclined to set fire to each one.

His days blurred into one and he was managing only a couple of hours sleep in the small hours of the morning. He and Ron were both existing in a haze of worry and hope, and neither was sure how much more they could take.

Finally, one warm day at the beginning of September, just as they were reaching their breaking point, Draco woke up. Half an hour later, so did Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hopefully that makes up for the last two cliffies I've left you on...although I suppose you could accuse of doing it again with this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Would you please stop fussing? I can make a cup of tea perfectly well."

"You're supposed to be resting."

Harry sighed and placed the kettle back on the stove, looking across at Severus with a resigned smile. "I've been resting all day. I thought I'd go wild and pour boiling water over a teabag. What can I say? I like to live on the edge."

Severus resisted the quirk of his lip and tried to keep his expression severe. "You've only just been released from the hospital, you need to be in bed."

"Severus," Harry said, sounding as though he might be counting to ten in his head, "I've spent the last six weeks in bed, the majority of those in a coma. I'd quite like to be upright for at least one hour a day."

Harry shuffled past him and placed a quick peck to his cheek then moved into the sitting room, snuggling down into one of the armchairs. Severus knew he was being overprotective, but the procedure Harry had gone through hadn't been a small one.

Both he and Draco were recovering well, but they were limited when it came to their magic. They had been assured that all their magic was intact, and that none of Patrick's was lingering in their system, but they had to be careful and reacclimatise themselves to magic gradually.

The coma itself had left both of them weakened physically and they had been put on a regime to gain the weight they had lost and to strengthen their muscles again. Ron and Severus were keeping a watchful eye on both, though it wasn't always appreciated.

Severus unfolded his arms and moved into the living room, sitting in the chair opposite Harry. Teddy was fast asleep in bed, having had a busy day with George and Neville, who had taken him to a nearby animal sanctuary where he had fed goats and had a ride on a donkey. He was out for the count and Severus was taking the time to enjoy having Harry back home.

Harry sipped at his tea then placed the cup back in its saucer and looked at Severus over the rim. There was something in his expression that Severus hadn't seen for a while and he steeled himself for what was to come.

"We need to talk, don't we?" Harry asked eventually setting his teacup aside.

Severus sighed and sat a little straighter in his chair. "I suppose we do."

"I've been waiting for you to say 'I told you so'."

"You know I would never be so crass," Severus said, slightly insulted that Harry would think so meanly of him.

"Perhaps I'd deserve it. That was what I was thinking…when I was chained to that wall, Patrick telling us what he was going to do to us. I was thinking that you were right…as always…and I was an idiot."

"It gives me no pleasure to have been proved right. Dear Merlin, I would have given everything to avoid what happened."

"I know," Harry said with a tired nod of his head. "It doesn't change the fact you had to save me…yet again. And here I am, an incompetent fool who can't save his own skin…the boy who killed Voldemort thanks to sheer blind luck and everyone else's assistance."

"Is that truly what you think of yourself?" Severus asked, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"What evidence is there otherwise?" Harry asked bitterly.

Severus took a breath and a moment to collect himself. Throttling Harry would do no good, no matter how much he might wish to. "Harry, there is no braver or better man alive as far as I'm concerned."

Harry snorted and Severus glared at him. "I won't have you wallowing about in self-pity because a madman with a psychotic agenda tried to take your life. You weren't to know – "

"Yes I was!" Harry countered, his voice rising. "I had the death threats and I didn't take them seriously. I put myself right in his path and couldn't defend myself when he came after me."

"Stop this," Severus said firmly. He stood up and moved to stand in front of Harry, gripping the man by the upper arms and hauling him up to stand so they were face to face. "Harry, if it weren't for you I would likely be dead by now, a wasted corpse rotting in Azkaban. If it weren't for you, countless others would still be left there and no one would be fighting their cause. Every day you stand up to injustice and endure threats on your life because of it. You are a remarkable man and I am humbled that it is me you have chosen to spend your life with."

Harry's cheeks flushed and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Will I always need you to save me?" he asked, his voice small.

Severus brushed a thumb across his cheekbone to wipe the tear away and said, "Would it be so very awful if you did? I'll always be here, after all." He sighed and took Harry's hands in his, then said, "I have protected you for as long as I can remember. At first it was a chore, something I had to do to soothe my conscience. I acted upon orders and did what I could to keep you safe because I knew it was necessary. Now…I would protect you with my dying breath because I love you and the thought of a world without you in it is not one I can bear."

Harry let out a noise that sounded like a sob and threw his arms around Severus' neck, burying his head against Severus' shoulder. Severus held him tightly, so relieved to finally have the man back in his arms where he belonged.

"The weeks have felt like years without you," he whispered into Harry's ear. "There were times when I thought you'd never wake up."

Harry clung on a little more tightly and before Severus knew it Harry had apparated them both to their bedroom.

"Harry," he said softly, "we don't have to do anything. You're still recovering."

"I've been asleep for the past few weeks," Harry countered, pulling back to look at Severus. "And I've missed you."

Severus couldn't help but smile at the man. It had been a long few weeks and he had missed more than just Harry's company. "Are you sure?" he asked, and before he could blink, Harry had spelled both their clothes off. "That answers that question," he said with a smirk.

Their bodies met and melted together. It was so achingly familiar and to have Harry back in his arms was too wonderful to put into words. They kissed their way over to the bed and Harry pulled Severus down on top of him. Severus' lips moved to Harry's neck and Harry keened beneath him. The man was so responsive to every touch, every kiss, and Severus drank in the noises that only he could make the man make.

Everything blurred, nothing mattered but the man beneath him. He touched every inch of Harry's skin, worshipped it with his fingertips, teased it with his lips. His brain refused to think, refused to process things the way he usually would. All he could do was feel.

Harry's hands brushed softly over his skin and he shivered with pleasure. He couldn't tell where he ended and Harry began and he had no idea how their lubricant found its way into his hand, but there he was, his fingers buried deep inside the man, stretching and preparing him.

Harry moaned and begged and Severus' senses reeled with the beauty of those noises. No one but him had ever done this to Harry, no one but him had ever joined with the man so completely. It made his head spin that Harry had given him this gift but Severus knew that he would never take it for granted.

He sank inside Harry and watched as pure pleasure flashed through Harry's eyes. He moved with deep, measured thrusts, feeling overwhelmed that he was able to do this, that Harry had been returned to him. He was surrounded by the man, gloriously taken over by him as he thrust ever deeper.

Harry's hands gripped his forearms tightly and his legs were wrapped around Severus' waist, guiding him, begging him with his body. Severus could deny him nothing, reaching down to wrap his hand around Harry's straining erection as they moved in perfect tandem. Harry came with a strangled cry, covering Severus' hand and his own stomach with his release.

Severus thrust in earnest and came moments later, the blood pounding in his ears. Tremors ran through him and he tried to catch his breath as Harry pulled him forward into a sweeping kiss. It was with great reluctance that he withdrew from Harry's body, wanting to be as connected to the man as he could be for as long as possible.

Harry wrapped himself around him and Severus felt their sweat-dampened skin connect. While Harry had lain there in that hospital bed, it had felt as though they would never be this way again. He buried his nose in Harry's hair and breathed in the familiar scent of apples.

"I love you," he murmured softly and Harry nestled in deeper.

"I love you too," Harry whispered back. "Are you still going to marry me?"

"What do you bloody think?"

* * *

"I've just tied that for you. Leave it alone!" George said, batting Severus' hands away from the bow tie at his throat.

"Why do I have to wear this bloody thing?" Severus growled, doing his best to glare at George.

"Because we said so," Draco said imperiously, turning back to where Severus' waistcoat was hanging and charming the creases from it. "You want to look good for your wedding, don't you?"

Severus snorted at the idea of 'looking good' for anything, but even he had to admit that the wedding robes that Harry had picked out were exquisite. They were a dark navy blue with a paler-coloured waistcoat, every inch of the outfit tailored to perfection. He could only imagine how beautiful Harry was going to look.

They were having the wedding at the Burrow, and the guest list was comprised of only their closest friends. Molly had outdone herself and the garden, where the ceremony was taking place, looked breath-taking.

They were getting married under a beautifully decorated arbour and, as it was December, the whole area had been covered with warming charms. The garden itself had been charmed with snow and icicles and the whole place looked like a winter wonderland. The lingering part of Severus' old self wanted to sneer at the sentiment of it all, but he simply couldn't find it in himself anymore.

Draco handed him the waistcoat and he shifted into it before George moved behind him and held the outer robes up for him to slide into. Both men came to stand in front of him, crossing their arms and looking at him as though he were some kind of exhibit.

"Draco, my man," George said with a grin, "I think we've done a fine job."

"My sentiments exactly," Draco replied, mirroring the grin. "I'm sure all Harry's second thoughts will disappear the moment he sees you."

"Very funny," Severus drawled, questioning his reasoning for appointing these two lunatics as his best men. He wondered how Harry was faring with Ron and Hermione. No doubt Ron would be sitting with a beer in hand offering several wry comments while Hermione flitted around trying to make sure everything was perfect. He wondered if the man was as nervous as he was.

He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Harry was the person he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. He had been having dreams for the past couple of weeks that when they met under the arbour that Harry would look at him and shake his head, saying, "I'm sorry Severus but I can't do this. This was a mistake, I can do better".

It was ridiculous, of course it was. He knew that Harry loved him, that he wanted nothing more than a future with him, but part of him couldn't believe that he had been granted such a miracle. It had taken him a long time to believe that he wasn't unworthy of the man, that others didn't think Harry insane for settling for a creature like him.

People were happy for them, he knew that. Molly had told him how proud she was, Arthur had told him that he had never seen Harry so happy and all the people they knew and loved were gathering in the garden to celebrate their relationship.

He thought that perhaps there would always be part of him that doubted the good things in his life. He had experienced so little joy, so little happiness that he would always question his good fortune and it would take time to accept that no one would strip these things away from him.

There was a knock on the door and Molly came in, guiding Teddy in front of her. She smiled at them all and said to Severus, "Teddy wanted to come and check on you."

Severus smiled and picked the little boy up, holding him close. "You look very smart, Ted," he said as Teddy snuggled into him. "Have you got the rings?"

"Auntie Molly's got them for now," Teddy said, starting to play with the dark red rose in Severus' buttonhole.

"And you know what to do?" Severus asked.

Teddy nodded seriously and said, "When the woman with the funny robes asks who has the rings I have to come and give them to her."

"That's right. It's the most important job in the whole ceremony. We wouldn't trust anyone else to do it."

Teddy beamed and Severus pressed a kiss to the boy's sandy mop of hair. "Have you seen your Pa?" he asked. Both he and Harry were still getting used to Teddy calling them 'Dad' and 'Pa', but both men were delighted by it. For Severus, every time he heard the word 'Dad' he felt his heart swell.

"He looks very handsome," Teddy said with a grin. "So do you, Dad."

"Very kind of you to say so," Severus said with a smirk.

"You do," Teddy insisted. "You're not the same kind of handsome as Pa," he said, and Severus couldn't help but laugh. How true that was statement was. "But I think you're very handsome," Teddy continued with his usual air of resolve.

"There is no opinion more important to me than yours," Severus told him. "But don't tell your Pa I said that."

Teddy giggled and Molly said, "Come on now young man before you crease your dad's robes."

Severus set Teddy back on the floor and smoothed the boy's messy hair. "I'll see you down there, sweetheart. Remember, you're the most important part of the day."

Teddy drew himself up taller and puffed his chest out slightly before he waved at them all and let Molly lead him out of the room and back down the stairs. Severus was well aware of the look of utter fondness on his face, but he adored Teddy and was incapable of hiding it.

He would never have imagined that the small boy who came to stay with them all that time ago would one day become his son. Teddy and Harry were his future, were the things he cared most about in the world and today would cement the three of them together properly.

"You're getting that soppy look on your face again," said George, clapping a large hand on his shoulder. "Do we need to douse you with ice water?"

"You can try," Severus told him with a raised eyebrow.

"We can forgive you a little soppiness on your wedding day," said Draco, flanking Severus' other side. "But try not to go too misty-eyed or you might end up being sectioned."

Severus had caught himself in the mirror several times throughout the morning and had barely recognised the man looking back at him. He would never have imagined that not only would he be this happy, but that he would allow himself to show it.

There was another knock at the door and Ron's head bobbed around the doorframe. He grinned and said, "Time to go, Sev. We're going down with Harry. Give it a couple of minutes then you guys come down. You know he'll flip his lid if you see each other before the ceremony."

Severus rolled his eyes. Harry was sticking with tradition down to the letter and had stayed at Ron and Draco's the night before while Severus stayed at the cottage with Teddy. It seemed that Harry had been waiting his whole life for his wedding day, and he was determined to do it right.

"See you down there, groomie," Ron said, ducking back out of the room before Severus could throw something at him.

"You ready to do this?" George asked with a smile.

He took a deep breath and nodded, then followed Draco and George out of the room and down the rickety old staircase. He knew that Harry would be in place on one side of the garden, and he moved with his best men to stand in his assigned place. He could hear the happy murmur of the guests and he tried to bring his nerves under control.

Harry wasn't going to change his mind, he wouldn't leave Severus all alone to a cold and unhappy future. This was it now, it was going to be the two of them against the world.

The music started and Draco gave him a nudge. "Come on, let's get this show on the road!"

They stood behind him and all three began their temperate walk. As they rounded the corner, Severus saw everyone seated, their faces a blur of smiles and tears. He neared the arbour and saw the woman who was officiating and who, as Teddy had declared, was indeed wearing funny robes.

Finally, he saw Harry as the man made his way towards him, and his breath caught in his throat. It was so cliché to be overcome with your partner's beauty on your wedding day, but he couldn't help it. Harry looked stunning in his matching navy robes, his hair brushed back and held in place with some sort of charm. It accentuated the strength of his jaw and the sharpness of his cheekbones and those beautiful green eyes sparkled with joy and happiness.

Harry grinned at him and he did his best to return it, hoping that Harry didn't misread his feelings of being overwhelmed for a lack of enthusiasm. They stood in front of the officiant, who welcomed them with a warm smile. Ron and Hermione took their place behind Harry, both looking resplendent in green, while George and Draco stood behind Severus. Severus could practically feel their smiles boring into the back of his head.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the officiant said, beaming at the assembled guests, "it gives me great pleasure to welcome you all to witness the bonding of Severus Snape and Harry Potter."

It was a simple service, understated but heartfelt. The officiant wasn't over the top or too saccharine, much to Severus' relief, but it didn't stop both Molly or Hagrid from shedding many tears and blowing their noses like trumpets.

Teddy performed his job admirably, and Severus and Harry couldn't stop themselves from sweeping the little boy up between them and peppering him with kisses before he went back to his seat. The rings were exchanged, along with vows, and Severus was overcome with a feeling of security as the delicate wedding band was placed on his finger.

The marriage license was signed, witnessed by Ron and Draco, and that ridiculous Creevy boy was there with his camera to capture the moment. He had been hovering around for the entire ceremony and Harry had wrangled a promise from Severus weeks ago that he wouldn't fling a variety of hexes at the boy.

It seemed only a few seconds had gone by, but suddenly Severus heard the officiant say, "You may now seal your union with a kiss!"

Harry moved closer, smiling up at him with the brightest smile Severus had ever seen. "Fancy giving your husband a kiss?" he whispered and hearing that word seemed to chip away at the last shard of ice in Severus' heart.

He reached out and grabbed the man, holding him firmly then tilting him backwards in his arms. There were several oohs and aahs of approval from the guests but Severus didn't hear a thing as he leant down and kissed the man who now, inexplicably, was his husband.

There was a loud cacophony of applause and Severus heard George and Ron whooping and cat-calling behind them. He set Harry back upright and they finally broke apart. Severus was taken aback by the look of pure joy on his husband's face. In that moment, the last flicker of doubt flew from Severus' mind. He was wanted, he was loved.

They were both lost in a sea of people who wrapped them up in hugs and handshakes, congratulating them and professing how happy they were. Severus was ready to hex all of them out of his personal space within a few minutes. It may well have been his wedding day, but there were limits to a man's tolerance.

He was rescued by George, who grabbed his arm and cleared a path, loudly pronouncing, "Let the man through! Can't you see he hates you all?"

"You should have gone into public relations," Severus said with a glare, shaking his arm free from George's grasp.

"Now, now," George said, reaching up and patting Severus' cheek with a grin. "You can't glare on your wedding day."

"He can do what he wants on our wedding day," said Harry, appearing at his side and beaming up at him.

Severus slid an arm around the man's shoulders and pulled him close. He could feel his wedding ring on his finger, an alien piece of jewellery that somehow felt as though it had been there for years. He looked down and saw the matching band on Harry's finger and his stomach flipped.

The next few hours passed in a blur of champagne, food and dancing. It was overwhelming that all these people who had come to mean so much to them both had all gathered to celebrate their love for one another.

Severus spent time with Minerva and Flitwick, glad to be able to chat with his former colleagues in a more relaxed setting. He had always held Minerva in high regard and, although he may never admit it to anyone, he felt a certain amount of affection for her.

Things at Hogwarts were still difficult, and she was struggling with all the problems that that brought with it. A different person might have thrown in the towel long ago, but not her. She would weather the storm and Severus hoped she could continue to do so for many more years to come.

He talked with Hermione and Blaise, who were inching ever closer to becoming a couple, and to Neville and Haizea, who seemed to have fallen head over heels for each other after only a few months of dating. Haizea had started a savings fund from the wages she earnt for the purpose of gaining her Potions Mastery in a few years' time. The wheels of Severus' head had already begun to turn, and when the time came, he would offer her a partnership.

The Weasleys were all there of course, en masse, and several times throughout the evening Severus found himself lost in a sea of red. To Molly, Severus seemed to be the best thing since sliced bread and it was an alien feeling to him. She had never forgotten the fact that he had saved George's life, nor that he had taken steps to help George heal afterward.

Both she and Arthur also seemed to be under the impression that no one would have been better for Harry and that no one would have been capable of making him so happy. It baffled Severus. He didn't understand how anyone could think he would be the best option for someone so young and beautiful, someone who could do a thousand times better, but he was slowly learning that some things just couldn't be questioned.

Teddy flitted around the whole group for the entire reception. He was allowed to stay up past his usual bedtime and was taking full advantage of that fact. While he had Victoire to play with, he loved the company of all the adults and it was very clear that George and Ron were his favourites.

Both men had boundless energy, the product of growing up in a large family perhaps, and they both genuinely enjoyed entertaining Teddy.

The little boy bounced between Severus and Harry, and it was second nature to Severus to conduct a conversation with Teddy propped on his hip or to try and eat while Teddy clambered up into his lap.

While he had married Harry because he loved the man more than anything in the world, it felt good that they were providing Teddy with a stable and secure family. Any decisions they now made would be about their lives together as a family and what would benefit their son. It was more than Severus could have ever hoped for and he wished he could have gone back in time and told that spectre in Azkaban that there was a future for him.

Molly and Arthur took Teddy back to the Burrow with them around 9 o'clock. Severus and Harry had insisted that it wasn't necessary, but Molly had simply winked at them and told that they were entitled to a proper wedding night.

Eventually the proceedings wound down and Severus found himself snuggled with Harry on the sofa, Ron, Draco and George lounging on the floor and finishing off the last of the champagne. The day had been a whirlwind and Severus' head was spinning from it all.

"I can't believe you've made an honest man of him!" George said, his speech slurring as he upended the last of the bottle into his glass.

"After he spent so long mooning over you!" Ron added, his eyes pointing in slightly different directions.

"I did not moon!" Harry protested, but Ron and George simply sniggered while Draco gave him an indulgent smile. "I was just…you know…"

"Completely head over heels?" Draco supplied for him. "I know the feeling," he said, reaching out to run a hand through Ron's hair and receiving a soppy smile in return.

"Yeah, 'cause you two didn't moon around after each other did you?" Harry said, trying to roll his eyes, but apparently regretting the action, wincing and burying his head in Severus' shoulder.

Severus chuckled and pulled him closer. Harry was an adorable drunk and he himself was feeling more tipsy than he had in years.

"Then of course Sev moved in here and he started mooning around after Harry," George said, taking a gulp of his champagne and managing to spill half of it down his front.

Severus would have argued and tried to defend his honour but he was banged to rights. He had fallen for Harry after only a few weeks of living with him and apparently hadn't done too well hiding it. Of course, if anyone had told him back then that Harry would one day be his husband he would have had them carted off to the nearest psychiatric ward.

"So when's it your turn?" George asked, turning to his brother. "You must be itching to get that ring on Drake's finger."

Ron and Draco exchanged a conspiratorial smile and Ron slung an arm around the blond's shoulders and pulled him close. "There will be a wedding at some point, no doubt about it. Right now, we're going to focus on the baby," Ron said, a wide grin splitting his face.

There was stunned silence for a moment before Harry spluttered loudly to Draco, "You haven't drunk anything alcoholic all day! Oh my God! You're having a baby!"

"He catches on quickly, doesn't he?" Draco asked Ron, and soon everyone was on their feet, wrapping them both up in hugs and practically yelling words of congratulations. Draco, as the only sober person in room found the whole thing very amusing and excused himself from the circle citing his need to breathe.

"I call godfather!" George said, ruffling Ron's hair.

"You're already the uncle, you can't be godfather too!" Harry protested. "Does Molly know yet?" he asked, his eyes bright with excitement.

Ron shook his head. "Not yet, and I'm sorry if we've stolen your wedding day thunder."

"Don't be daft, this is wonderful news!"

Harry beamed up at Severus and Severus lowered his head to place a gentle kiss to his husband's forehead. When the time was right, a couple of years down the line, they would have an announcement of their own to make and their family would be complete. For now though, they were going to enjoy each other and Teddy and embark upon married life together.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you all thought I'd have Harry wake up with memory-loss! As if I'd be that cruel ; ) Well, it's just the epilogue to go now and then we're done! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment and let me know.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 – Epilogue

_~15 years later~_

"Have you seen my cufflinks? I swear I left them in the kitchen."

Severus looked up from attending to his own cufflinks and said, "I thought you'd put them in that little box on the windowsill."

Harry clapped his hands together and said, "That's it! What would I do without you?"

"I shudder to think," Severus replied, looking up at the mirror to check his tie was straight. He checked the clock on the mantlepiece and said, "We'll have to leave soon, where's Cassie?"

"She said she'd be right down. What about Ted, where is he?"

Severus rolled his eyes and said, "Where do you think? He spends more time in the lab than I do."

Harry grinned and crossed the room to place his arms around Severus' neck. "It's your fault," he told the man certainly. "You set him on this path years ago. You have only yourself to blame."

"Pa!" came a voice down the stairs. "Did you move my necklace? I can't find it anywhere."

"Definitely your daughter," Severus told Harry, running his hands up and down his husband's sides. "If it weren't for her intelligence I'd swear she hadn't inherited anything for me."

Harry's eyebrows rose and he said with a smirk, "Did you just call me stupid?"

"I've called you far worse, love."

"Pa!" Cassie called again.

"Coming honey. I'll help you look," Harry called back, then reached up on his tiptoes to place a quick peck on Severus' lips. He disentangled himself and said, "Please go and check that Teddy's at least halfway ready. I really don't want to be late."

"Why change the habit of a lifetime?" Severus asked, and Harry paused halfway up the stairs to poke his tongue out at his husband before carrying on his way to help their daughter.

Severus smiled and made his way out into the garden. It was early August and Teddy had completed his time at Hogwarts a couple of months ago. He had been accepted to the Central European Institute of Potions and was starting in September. Of course, his time at home was always spent in Severus' potions lab.

The lab had changed somewhat since Severus and Harry had set it up all that time ago. Severus had taken Haizea into partnership after the woman achieved her Mastery and the two had forged one of the most successful potions business both domestically and internationally. They had expanded into new premises and taken on a proper staff, but Severus had retained the lab in the garden for his own purposes. Now, it had largely been taken over by Teddy.

He knocked on the door and waited for the somewhat distracted 'Come in' before he entered. Teddy was, as Harry had hoped, half ready. He was in his smart trousers and dress shirt, but the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and there was no sign of his outer robes.

Severus took a moment to take in the sight of his son. At 18-years-old Teddy was turning into a handsome man. He was tall and lithe with a mop of sandy-coloured hair and kind, intelligent eyes. He had turned into a confident, kind and compassionate man, and Severus couldn't have been prouder of him.

"We're going to have to go in a few minutes," he told Teddy and the man nodded absent-mindedly, peering into the cauldron in front of him.

"You know," Teddy said, his brows knitting in a frown. "I think this could be improved if I froze the viper eggs a couple of days beforehand, then let them thaw naturally before adding them. Their altered properties could be a game-changer."

"I hadn't considered that," Severus said, approaching the workbench.

"Neither had I," Teddy said, looking up at his father, his amber eyes bright. "It just occurred to me when I thought about that research we did last Easter with the Runespoor eggs. I dug it out and read through it and I think I've really got something."

"How long would you freeze the eggs for?" Severus asked, drawn in as he always was by anything pertaining to potions.

Teddy's interest in potions had been piqued all those years ago when he had first begun to spend time in the lab with Severus. That interest hadn't waned over the years and he had shown a natural aptitude and deep understanding of the subject. He had graduated Hogwarts with one of the highest potions NEWTs the school had ever seen. To say that Severus had been proud would have been an understatement.

"Well, that's the hard part," Teddy said pensively. "A couple of hours the wrong way and the potion will be ruined. It'll take a bit of trial and error."

Severus nodded then shook himself slightly to remind himself why he was there. "You'll have to cast a stasis spell over that for now. We have to leave. Where are your robes?"

"In the kitchen I think. Or perhaps in the study," Teddy said and Severus couldn't help but smile.

At only 18, Teddy was already beginning to have the air of an absent-minded academic. He was so singularly fixed on potions that often other things simply eluded him. His nose was so often buried in a dusty potions tome that Severus was reminded so sharply of himself that it seemed unbelievable that Teddy wasn't biologically his.

There was one aspect though in which Teddy differed completely from him. The man was an open book and was one of the most loving people that Severus had ever met. He was affectionate, as he had been as a child, and he had a fierce love for his family that was unrivalled by anything else in his life.

Severus had been worried when Cassie had been born that Teddy would feel left out, that he would resent the little girl, but his fears had been unfounded. The day they had brought Cassie home from the hospital, Teddy had gazed at the bundle in Harry's arms and had smiled, saying, "I'm her big brother. It's my job to look after her."

And so he had done. Cassie was a fierce and independent little madam, but she had long ago learnt that her brother took his job very seriously and would always be there to look out for her. They were as different as night and day, but, amazingly, they rarely argued. They bickered and teased one another, but Teddy was so easy-going that things never escalated.

"Right, come on or your Pa will kill me."

"Perhaps I could join you all there later?" Teddy said hopefully and Severus quirked an eyebrow at him.

"That's likely, isn't it?" he said dryly. "If we leave you now you'll never show up. So come on, out," Severus said, giving the man a gentle shove towards the door.

"I would have thought you of all people would understand, Dad," Teddy grumbled, allowing himself to be led out of the lab.

Severus laughed and slung an arm around Teddy's shoulders. "Any other night I'd let you get away with it, but you know how important this is."

Teddy sighed. "I know. Of course I want to be there, but don't expect me not to let my mind wander to my potion."

"I would expect nothing less," Severus said.

They came back into the house to find Cassie straightening Harry's tie, muttering slurs about his incompetency. Severus smirked. Oh yes, she was definitely his daughter.

"You look very pretty sweetheart," he said, moving to drop a kiss on the top of her head.

At 13-years-old she was already nearly as tall as Harry and looked as though she would at least match Severus' height. She had long black hair that cascaded down her back and eyes almost exactly the same colour as Harry's.

She was sharp, quick-witted and full of mischief. She wasn't as intense as Severus but she had inherited his sense of humour, though thankfully she wasn't as acerbic as he had once been capable of being. Even at her young age, she was aware of who she was and was confident and comfortable in her own skin.

When they had learnt they were having a girl, Severus and Harry had worried that they would somehow not be enough for her. What did they know about periods and hormones, or indeed any of the things a young girl would go through? They needn't have worried. Molly, as usual, stepped into the breech, as did Hermione, whom Cassie absolutely adored. She also had an array of aunts and female cousins surrounding her, so she was never lacking for female company.

"Found them!" Teddy called from the study and came back into the living room slinging his outer robes around his shoulders.

"They're creased!" Harry said, approaching Teddy with his wand drawn. "Honestly, what am I going to do with you?"

He cast a couple of quick charms and the creases fell out. Teddy grinned at him and said, "Always there to save the day, Pa."

"Right, stand back and let me look at you," Harry instructed both his children. Teddy and Cassie did so, rolling their eyes at one another. "Lovely, you both look very smart. Now, this is a very important evening and I know I don't have to tell you both to be on your best behaviour, but Teddy – go easy on the champagne. I know you're old enough but I don't want to find you throwing up in a potted plant."

Teddy looked mildly affronted but Cassie snorted and said, "Imagine that. Or even better, imagine thinking you were in the bathroom and actually throwing up in Nan's wardrobe."

Teddy blushed, as well he might have done. His 18th birthday party, which had been hosted at the Burrow, had indeed ended with him throwing up all over Molly's clothes after mistaking the closet for the bathroom. The entire family hadn't let him live it down and clearly had no intentions of doing so.

"And you, young lady," Harry said, turning his attention to Cassie, "no tricks, no pranks. I don't want to find anything in your pockets from Uncles George's shop."

"Bit of a mistake to buy me all that stuff for my birthday then," Cassie returned smoothly, then held her hands up and said, "I'm kidding! I promise, best behaviour."

She grinned at him, then winked at Severus and both men couldn't help but laugh. Cassie spent half her time at George's shop, fascinated not only by the funny side of the things he sold, but by the magic behind them. She was beginning to show a talent for Charms and she had a very creative side to her nature that helped her to understand how magic could be woven into objects.

"Right, we'd best be on our way then. Cas, you first. Do you know where you're going?"

"Of course," Cassie said, as though the notion that wouldn't was a ridiculous one. She stepped towards the fireplace and grabbed a pinch of floo powder, stepping into the flames and clearly intoning, "Ministry reception room 12."

She disappeared and Teddy went next before Harry and Severus joined them both. The room was already full of people and conversation and laughter filled the place. Severus and Harry waved their hands in greeting to many of the people they knew and within a few moments Ron and Draco joined them.

"Where's Bonnie?" Cassie asked as Ron wrapped her up in a hug.

"Hello to you too, darling," he said with a smile. "She's over there somewhere with Adam," he said, waving towards the far end of the room.

"Great, I'm going to go and join them," said Cassie, leaving without so much as a backwards glance at her parents.

Bonnie was Draco and Ron's oldest child and although there was a couple of years between them, she and Cassie had been friends all their lives. Adam, at 12-years-old was their middle child, and their youngest was their 10-year-old daughter, Beth, who, at that moment was attached to Draco's side.

She was a shy little girl and more attached to her parents than either Bonnie or Adam had ever been. She was also very close to Severus and it was only when she saw him that she extricated herself from her father to move to give Severus a hug.

The two families had remained close over the years. Draco and Ron still lived in their cottage a few miles from Harry and Severus', and all the children, including Teddy, were forever flooing back and forth to spend time with all four men.

"I can't believe this day is finally here. It's so exciting," Draco said with a smile, looking around the room in wonder.

"It's been such a long time coming," Harry said, reflecting Draco's expression. "All those years fighting, trying to change things. I feel like we've finally made it."

"Have you got your speech ready?" Ron asked Harry, clapping him on the shoulder.

Harry shook his head. "I don't intend to make one, this isn't my moment. I'll be making the introduction and that's all. We all know who this day belongs to."

"He'd say it was a collective effort, of course," Teddy said, helping himself to a glass of champagne and earning a raised eyebrow from Harry.

There was a little time before the proceedings properly began, and Severus and Harry took the time to catch up with friends and family. Teddy made a beeline for Victoire, and Severus and Bill exchanged wry smiles as the two shared a chaste kiss.

They had grown up together and had been friends throughout their time at Hogwarts, but in Teddy's final year and Victoire's 6th, that friendship had blossomed. Of course, now that Teddy was off to obtain his mastery and Victoire had her own education to attend to, they would be faced with the challenges of trying to maintain their relationship.

Severus didn't think it was too much of an issue. After Victoire completed her final year at Hogwarts, she had a position lined up with the Northern Hurricanes to play Keeper. She had been scouted in her 5th year, playing for the Hufflepuff quidditch team, and had eventually accepted an offer from the Hurricanes.

Fleur was horrified that her eldest daughter had decided to devote her life to what she viewed as a barbaric sport, but Bill was almost beside himself with pride. Having seen the girl play, Severus had no doubt that she would enjoy a very successful career. Whatever happened between her and Teddy, they both had bright futures ahead of them.

They found George and Maggie in conversation with Hermione and Blaise. The former couple had been married for nearly ten years, while Blaise and Hermione had been married for twelve. Severus had never seen a man look at his wife the way Blaise looked at Hermione. He was completely devoted to the woman and genuinely thought that no better person existed.

Hermione had joined the Zabini law firm, which was now the very successful company Zabini & Granger. They had two children, twins, which, ironically, none of the Weasley offspring had had. Noah and William were only 5-years-old, as Hermione and Blaise had decided to wait until they became parents, preferring to focus on their careers as a priority first of all.

George and Maggie had been through some difficult times as a couple. George had had a couple more slips over the years and had sunk into dark times of depression. He had never made another attempt on his life, but Severus knew all too well that the man had come close. Maggie knew the troubles he had had, of course, and their marriage had been fraught with the demons that George continued to fight.

They had decided against children. While George adored all his nieces and nephews and was undeniably the favourite uncle, he felt that he would always be too unstable to fully be there for a child. Maggie had understood and, never having been particularly maternal herself, hadn't felt like she had lost anything. She was perhaps the only person who could have coped with the pitfalls of George's mental health, and despite their ups and downs, they had a happy marriage.

"I'm a bundle of nerves," came a voice next to Severus' elbow and he turned to see Haizea standing next to him, fanning herself with her clutch bag. "Have you seen Jacob anywhere?"

Severus smiled and gestured to where his daughter was standing with a boy her age who was the spitting image of Neville. Both were the only Slytherin children in the bunch and they spent all their time at Hogwarts practically glued to one another.

"Ah, I thought I'd lost him. Should have known he'd been with Cas. Doesn't she look pretty tonight?" Haizea said with a fond smile.

"She scrubs up well," Severus said, mirroring the woman's smile.

While they had been business partners for years, Severus and Haizea had also formed a solid friendship. They had a great deal of respect for one another, both within their professional sphere and on a more personal level. It had been the first time since Lily that Severus had formed a solid friendship with a woman, and he enjoyed the time he spent with her.

"How's Neville?" Severus asked, and Haizea's smile grew more nervous.

"He's wearing a hole in the carpet pacing back and forth. I've decided to leave him to it. I'm just as nervous as he is, I don't think I'm going to help."

"Leave him to Harry, he'll calm him down."

"I hope so. The state he's in at the moment he'll likely throw up before he gets the first word of his speech out."

It had been many years since Neville had reminded Severus of the boy he had known all those years ago, but he had caught sight of the man earlier and had been transported back nearly 20 years. The man had been nearly green with nerves and had actually addressed him as 'Professor', which he hadn't done in over 15 years.

He glanced around the room, watching as Bonnie and Adam joined Cassie and Jacob. Were it not for his daughter's promise not to cause any trouble, he would have sworn that the little group was up to something. Their heads were bowed conspiratorially and they laughed and talked loudly, Cassie and Bonnie breaking out into fits of giggles.

"They make a good group, don't they?" Haizea said with a smile, following Severus' line of sight. "I worried that Jacob and Cassie would drift apart when they got to Hogwarts, but if anything they seem to have grown closer."

Severus nodded. "She thinks the world of Jacob, always has done. She used to boss him around terribly when they were children, I'm glad he's learnt to tell her to sod off once in a while."

Haizea laughed and said, "You never believed in coddling your children did you, Severus?"

"That girl never needed coddling," Severus said with fond smile. "She was born ready to take on the world."

"You couldn't possibly be talking about our daughter, could you?" came Harry's voice as he tucked himself into Severus' side. "Oh Jacob looks so handsome in those dress robes," he said as he looked over at the assembled group. "He gets more and more like Nev every day."

"Only ten times more handsome," said Ron with a grin as he joined them.

"I'll tell him you said that," Haizea threatened teasingly.

"You could tell him he looked like a blast-ended skrewt at the moment and he wouldn't even notice," Ron said and Harry nodded.

"I tried to get him to calm down earlier but he just stared at me like a rabbit caught in the headlights."

Haizea groaned and said, "I knew I should have slipped him a calming draught earlier."

Cassie and Jacob pushed their way through the crowds to join their parents and Cassie said excitedly, "It's about to begin."

She gestured to the stage where a woman in formal robes was making her way towards the microphone. Severus felt Harry give his waist a squeeze and Teddy appeared on his other side, smiling across at Harry and saying,

"This is it, Pa!"

Harry was stopped from answering by the woman tapping on the microphone and saying in a clear, crisp voice, "Ladies and gentlemen, if I could please have your attention."

The noise and chatter died down until the room was silent and the woman smiled at them all before saying, "It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all here this evening. I know for many of us in this room it feels as though this day has been a long time in coming. If you could all please raise your glasses and welcome to the stage the Minister for Equalities, Mr Harry Potter!"

Harry leant up to press a quick kiss to Severus' cheek then made his way to the stage amidst an energetic round of applause. Severus watched as Harry shook hands with the woman then took his place in front of the microphone.

He grinned widely at the assembled crowd and said, "I can't tell you all how thrilled I am to be here with you this evening. This has indeed been a long time coming and I know how much this means to everyone assembled here. I would like to welcome to the stage a man for whom I have enormous respect, a man who has fought tirelessly to right the wrongs that were created after the war. I am proud to call myself his friend and prouder still to be here to bear witness to his inauguration. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your new Minister for Magic, Mr Neville Longbottom!"

The crowd erupted into thunderous applause and many whoops and cheers led by the younger generation. Neville made his way onto the stage, his face on fire, and was immediately pulled into a fierce hug by Harry. The two had a brief conversation before Harry stepped to the side, beaming, while Neville moved to the microphone.

He waited until the applause finally died down and gave the room a shy smile. Severus watched as he took several deep breaths then finally cleared his throat and said in a quiet but firm voice, "Thank you all so much for being here this evening. I can't tell you what it means and I am thoroughly overwhelmed with this extraordinary honour.

"I would be lying if I said that the path we've all travelled over the past 17 years had been an easy one. Life after the war was difficult for so many reasons and was only made worse by the appalling treatment suffered by all Slytherins owing to the cruellest legislation ever passed. It has taken tireless and often thankless work from extraordinary people for us to finally live in a society that I am proud of.

"I wouldn't be in this position today were it not for Harry, who is the finest Minister for Equalities the Ministry has ever seen. Nor would I be able to do my job without Ron Weasley, Minister for Education, who had been integral in the reinstating of Slytherin house and the continued improvements to one of our finest institutions – Hogwarts School."

Loud applause rang out again coupled with shouts of "Yes, Pa!" and "Go, Dad!". Severus smiled as Cassie looked up at him and grinned while Draco cuddled into Ron's side and beamed proudly at him.

Neville smiled widely as his confidence grew, and he continued, "It fills me with such pride and such hope when I think of how far we have come. My wife, as well as two very dear friends, Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy, suffered greatly because of the legislation against Slytherins. I know I speak for all of us when I say that I am delighted to know that we have created a world where our children will never suffer in such a way, they will never have to face the indignities and injustices that their parents did.

"I make my pledge to you now, as your Minister of Magic, that such horrors will never happen again. I will fight for a world where _all_ our children will be safe, will be equal, no matter their school house or their parentage. I am proud to be part of the world that we have worked hard to create and I promise you all that I will continue to work just as hard to preserve it. I am _your_ Minister, and I shall endeavour every day to be worthy of the title. Thank you."

The applause this time was deafening and Severus watched as a wide grin split Neville's face before he and Harry finally made their way down from the stage. They were halted by many people who wanted to give Neville their congratulations and best wishes, but eventually the two men came to join the group.

"Congratulations, Minister," Severus said with a smile, shaking Neville's hand.

"I'm so glad my speech is over and done with!" Neville said, his face finally returned to its natural colour.

"You were wonderful," said Haizea, wrapping an arm around Neville's waist and kissing his cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

"See, now that Dad's the Minister of Magic, you have to do everything I say, or he'll put you in prison," Jacob told Cassie with a grin.

She rolled her eyes and said, "The day I do everything you say, I'll put _myself_ in prison. Or possibly a psychiatric ward."

"Isn't this crazy?" Harry said with a smile as he tucked himself into Severus' side. "I can't believe how far we've come, how much we've changed." He tilted his head to look at Severus and said, "When I think about what you went through…how we began…I'm so proud of all the things we've achieved."

Severus smiled and pressed a kiss to his husband's forehead. "I would never have imagined all that has changed since then," he said softly. "When I think of the bedraggled wreck they dragged out of Azkaban and dumped on your doorstep…it seems another world ago."

"Those of us who suffered Azkaban will never forget it," Haizea said gently, and out of the corner of his eye Severus saw Draco nod in agreement. "We've all worked hard to ensure that such injustices never happen again."

Severus reached out and wrapped an arm around his daughter. Under normal circumstances she probably wouldn't have put up with such an open display of affection, but sensing the importance of the moment she simply relaxed into her father's hold and let herself be held.

"Dad, Jake and I are going to stay at Uncle Ron and Uncle Drake's tonight," said Cassie, no doubt eager to break the sombre mood. She had heard the stories, had known what her father went through all those years ago, and had always been uncomfortable with the history.

She was more sensitive than she liked people to believe and the thought of what her father had suffered in Azkaban weighed heavily on her mind. Not wanting to cause her any undue stress, Severus exchanged a glance with Ron and said,

"And do Uncle Ron and Uncle Drake have a say in this?"

"Oh we've been informed that they're all camping out in the living room," Ron said, halting his son's hand as Adam was about to reach and grab a glass of champagne from a floating tray.

"Teddy gets to have champagne!" Adam protested.

"Teddy's a grown up," Teddy told him with a grin.

"Haven't thrown up in any closets yet, Ted?" Draco asked him and Teddy turned a very endearing shade of red.

"Am I never going to be allowed to live that down?" he groused.

"Ooh unlikely," Harry teased. "We'll be making sure that story's told for years to come, including," Harry said, nodding in Victoire's direction, "on your wedding day."

"Pa!" Teddy said, going an even deeper shade of red. "You talk about weddings in front of her and I will knock you off your broom the next time you fly!"

"So sensitive," Harry said, reaching out and pinching his cheek.

Teddy batted him away and said, "Parents are so embarrassing! Look, me and Vic are off out to a nearby bar, I don't know what time I'll be home so don't wait up."

"Maybe this time you'll throw up in a phone booth," Severus said as Teddy walked away, his hand above his head in a very crude gesture.

The party continued in full swing for several more hours. Everyone was in high spirits and Neville spent all his time going from one group to another, receiving their congratulations and speaking about his policies. Harry was also much in demand as the Minister for Equalities, and Severus watched with pride as his husband spoke about all they hoped to achieve in the next few years.

It was the early hours of the morning when Severus and Harry finally tumbled back through the floo into their cottage. Both were giddy with drink and the euphoria of the evening and they stumbled and kissed their way up the stairs to their bedroom.

"Whatever shall we do with this big empty house with no children in it?" Harry giggled as he struggled with his tie.

"A game of scrabble, perhaps?" Severus returned with a snort as he fought his way out of his shirt.

"An excellent idea. I'll set up the board," Harry said, pretending to head towards the door.

Severus caught his arm and swung him around and into a kiss. Harry's body melted against his and all thoughts but each other flew out the window. It had been years, but every time Severus had his husband in his arms nothing else mattered.

They had weathered many a storm together. They had raised a family, navigated careers and fought against the injustices of their society as a strong and resilient couple. They had enjoyed their highs and fought through their lows, their deep love and abiding respect guiding them through their years together.

When they finally succeeded in getting each other naked, Harry gently pushed Severus back towards the bed and Severus allowed himself to be guided down onto it. Harry straddled him with a grin and Severus felt his lip twitching trying to return it. He reached out and trailed his hand over the scar on Harry's abdomen, the scar that they both loved as it symbolised the birth of their daughter.

Harry placed his hand on top of Severus' and smiled. Nothing needed to be said, all those words had come before many times down the years. Harry leant forward and captured Severus' lips in a slow and tender kiss before moving down his throat and over his chest. Severus closed his eyes as Harry continued his ministrations, his kisses firm, his touches light.

It had been so long that were very few surprises between them in the bedroom anymore, but that only made things better in Severus' opinion. They knew every inch of each other's skin, everything that would please, all the things that would provoke the best responses. The trust and intimacy between them had grown ever stronger over the years and it meant that sex could be just as passionate as it had been during those first flushes of attraction.

Severus gave a low moan of approval as his cock was engulfed in the warm wetness of Harry's talented mouth. He let his head fall back against the headboard and watched with slightly hooded eyes as Harry moved up and down, taking Severus all the way to the back of his throat.

"You have a sinful mouth, you little brat," Severus said with a happy sigh.

Harry looked up and stopped what he was doing long enough to say, "I'm 36. I don't think you can call me a brat anymore."

"You're my husband. I can call you whatever I bloody like," Severus replied as Harry set back about his work.

Severus revelled at the feel of Harry's tongue lathing him, applying soft and firm pressure in equal measure. He enjoyed the attention for a few minutes, knowing that Harry had no intention of bringing him to completion this way.

Sure enough, soon Harry was snaking back up his body and meeting his lips in a firm, demanding kiss. The man settled himself in Severus' lap and Severus felt his erection slowly, torturously sheathed within Harry's tight heat.

"When did you prepare yourself?" Severus asked, taking hold of Harry's hips as the man began to rock.

"Spell," Harry said with a crooked grin as he gripped Severus' shoulders. "The one you taught me."

"Precocious brat," Severus said, smirking at Harry's look of indignation. "You'll never know how good you look like this," Severus told him, feeling his pleasure grow with Harry's sure and consistent movements.

"You're so beautiful, so perfect," Severus murmured as Harry took him deeper. He had been too embarrassed to speak like this when they had first begun, too aware of himself to let Harry know the depth of his feelings. These days neither of them censored themselves. They said what they thought, for good or bad, and their feelings were never kept from one another. Severus never wanted Harry to be in any doubt as to how much he loved him, nor as to how much he wanted him.

His hips thrust upwards, impaling his husband with each movement. Harry arched and bit his lip, looking delightfully wanton as he increased the speed of his rocking. "Touch me," Harry whispered, and Severus reached out to wrap his hand around Harry's swollen prick.

"So good," Harry said, his eyes bright, pleasure evident in every line of his face.

It was a face that had changed in the years Severus had known the man. It had aged, though no more than his 36 years. The older Harry got, the more he seemed to fit his features. His jaw was more angular, his cheekbones had more definition and he had learnt to school his expressions into those that would serve him best.

Severus increased the pressure on Harry's cock and watched as Harry came with a triumphant cry. Severus grasped hold of Harry's hips and thrust upwards hard several more times before he found his own release.

Harry fell forward onto Severus' shoulder and Severus' hand wound in the man's messy black hair. That was one thing that hadn't changed over the years, and Severus doubted it ever would.

"Love you," Harry muttered into Severus' shoulder. "So much."

"Love you too," Severus returned, stroking Harry's hair as they both rode out the aftershocks.

"We'll have been married 15 years in December," Harry said softly as he snuggled against Severus' skin. "Hard to believe isn't it?"

"Almost impossible," Severus said with a smile. "That poor old spectre in Azkaban would have never believed it."

"And yet, here we are," Harry breathed against his throat. "Married, two wonderful children, a beautiful home. What more could any man want?"

"With you in his life, Harry, a man could wish for nothing greater."

~ _End_ ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I must apologise for not responding to all your reviews like I normally do. My brain has been like soup this week and I've just been on another planet. I promise to respond this time though.
> 
> So, we're done with this fic! I can honestly say that I've enjoyed writing every minute of it and it's turned into something that I'm very proud of. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, especially those of you who have reviewed every single chapter, you guys are awesome! I have several more fics in the pipeline so don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I just need to take a little time to get these new ones planned and written.
> 
> Love to you all xx

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, please leave a comment and let me know.


End file.
